I ask this question to clubhombres most well known celebritys, why did the chicken cross the road

DAVETHERAVE
The chicken crossed the road to see the best line of dolly birds in Bangkok, the Angelwitch also has the best shows in nana plaza, my web address is
davetheraveilovedeanbarret.com

THE_HAPPY_MONGE
As always, im happy to see tick tack toe funky chickens cross the road

THE_HAPPY_MONGE
Nothink to complain about the chicken crossing the road, just sit back and enjoy

THE_HAPPY_MONGE
OOOOH , the chicken crossing the road, im scared

DONMARCO
To get across the road i recommend Benwee taxi driver, who knows all the roads in Bangkok were chickens cross

NUTBUSTER
chicken pie i love my thai sisters

Redbus,
as I understand it the answer should be:
to show the Armadillo it could be done!

Maybe the chicken crossed the road because you were telling jokes on his side...

Why did the pervert cross the road? He was hung up in the chicken.

Jonesie and Bliss,

that's it, no more chicken jokes, I don't care if it is finger lickin good!
I was gonna wish you both a Merry Ho-Ho, but now I am not so sure...........

CFK

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see his father, Gregory ... peck.

(for those who remember actor Gregory Peck)

At the time of posting this i had some disagreements with the happy monge and don marco,

The happy monge is a great guy and we made friends

Davetherave is a friend and i was doing an uptake on his writing style from his web site

Nutbuster was a lovely crazy guy

And don marco, i kind of miss the play full banter we used to have

Awwwww So warm and fuzzy. I can just picture you and Don Marco sitting in front of a warm fireplace - bantering playfully .

KM, I think clucking around is a better description!

Chicken and the road thru history.
Famous interpretations of "Why did the Chicken cross the road?"

Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please...

Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him down!

Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

L.A Poliece Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we'll find out.

Jerry Falwell:
Because the chicken was gay! isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what "they" call it: the "other side". Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!

Ronald Regan:
What Chicken?

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!

ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Marting Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?

Bill Gates: We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

The CIA: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken.

Why did the Bargirl cross the road

To get to the ATM machine

Jag: I gave the chicken directions on how to cross the road, then to cross the road, where to cross the road...and it got lost in the rain forest for a week.

Chicken and the Egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"

Individual perspectives on the matter:

Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.

Plato:
For the greater good.

Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Jackie Mason:
Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?

Jack Nicholson:
'Cause it ***** wanted to. That's the ****** reason.

Arnold Schwartznegger:
It vill be back.

And a topical perspective:

John McCain:
In a moment of seriousness, he was probably crossing the road to escape from a POW camp. I myself spent 5 and a half years in a POW camp, without a table, without a kitchen table, without a chair, without...

Gibletpie,

I figured your response would be it couldn't, it was a rubber chicken.

Why did the ATM machine cross the road
To get away from the bargirl

Redbus, you should be ashamed of yourself for hijacking the thread by going off topic. This is a chicken crossed the road thread. If you want to talk about ATM's crossing the road you should start another thread.

But your joke was funny anyway.

LAguy,

I think a response from you would go like this:

It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Why was the bargirl late for work
First she went to the western union office to collect her sponcors money then bought a bag of deep fried cock roaches whilst she chatted on her mobile, ran out of credits so bought some more. whilst she was in the mobile shop she bought a cute troll with purple hair plus LED lights that light up when her phone rings. she also went into the internet shop to Email other falangs or in other words future sponsors.she also went into the pharmarcist to buy differant coloured pills, red ones blue yellow they all look good. i carnt think of anything else.

Why was the bargirl eating a bag of deep fried cockroaches.
To get rid of the bad taste after french kissing a monger.

Ah, I know this is chicken thread but heard these whoppers from the neighbor kids that toilet paper my other neighbor's house

Why did the 1st monkey fall off the tree? .... because the monkey was dead.

Why did the 2nd monkey fall of the tree? ....monkey see monkey do.

Why did the 3d monkey fall of the tree? He was stapled to the 3d monkey.

Why did the 4th monkey fall off the tree ... peer pressure.

Merlin,

if you didn't have such hot looking girls in your pad pic we would have to throw you out of this thread!

Do you suppose those boys were spanking the monkey too?

[Maybe they were just having Disney spells!]

Do you know why chickens watch the news? They are waiting for the feather report...

CFK

(Message edited by copperfieldkid on November 04, 2008)

LOL, you're lucky b/c these kids went on for 20 min with the same joke but my aging brain just cant remember it all.

What did the left leg say to the right leg? "Hey look, shorty's growing a beard"

E

Hehe, Epi, good one.

What do you call a guy with no legs/arms in the ocean: "bob".

What do you call the same guy on your porch: "Matt"

What do you call a Japanese chef who drops his cleaver: Mr. Nomoto.

Where does my friend who is half jewish/japanese get circumcised? Benihana

Alright, I'll see your no arms/legs joke:

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs waterskiing? Skip

And I'll raise you a blonde joke:

Why don't blondes eat pickles? They can't fit their head in the jar

E

Of course the CH specific "no legs" joke would be the old standby.... what do you call a Mexican hooker with no legs????......... Consuelo

Ahhhh Soooo, Epi and Sancho, your elementally level joke skills are quite good. But not as good as....

Why can't blondes make ice -- they keep forgetting the recipe.

"Disarray" -- what a pooying says to you as she leads you to her room.



(Message edited by merlin on November 05, 2008)

I used to be engaged to a woman with a wooden leg, but I broke it off.

At risk of being labeled politically incorrect:

What do you have when a Japanese man sucks off a Black Man?

A bro job.

As a black man, I am incredibly pissed about your insensitive comment.

Awwwwwww fuck! I just remembered that am not black, I just keep forgetting. Kinda like Condeleeza Rice.

Nebermind, Laguy.

Why didn't the Challenger crew shower before launch?

They said they'd wash up on the beach later.

All these non-chicken posts, are you guys pulling a coop?

(Message edited by copperfieldkid on November 06, 2008)

Hmmmmnnn,

A "dozen" non-chicken jokes in a chicken thread. I'm outnumbered! I forgive everyone EXCEPT Bliss, he knows better. A watermelon joke is always fully expected to creep in, but.......alas, I shall redirect this thread.

What is Superchicken's real identity? Cluck Kent

What's the difference between kinky and perverted??

Kinky is when you use a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken.

CFK, ok, Watermelon joke: So Paw, who owns a fruit farm, catches Buford, Jethro and Billybob fucking his daughter in the barn. An Angry Paw unexpectedly tells the three boys: "Y'all go out and pick Yar favorite fruit and come back here now".

The boys go out. Buford picks strawberries, and returns first. Paw says, to Buford, as punishment for fucking my daughter, you gotta stick them berries up your ass. Buford does. Then Jethro reappears at the barn and presents cherries. Jethro gets them stuff up his butt as well.

All of sudden, Jethro and Buford are laughing their heads off. When Paw asks why, they respond in unison, "Billybob's a pickin a BUNCH of watermelon to bring back here."



(Message edited by merlin on November 06, 2008)

Everyone's Crossing the Road!

Why did the frogs cross the road?
To get a croak-a-cola.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

How do you keep a dog from crossing the road?
You put him in a barking lot.

Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
To take over the other side.

You guys are in dire need of some strange.

Enough, No Mas, Tidak, Boo Shur, Haaalllttt with the silly jokes.

Copperfieldkid, I guess I could have expected to be singled out by you for abuse. It is clear to me that you hate me because I am not black.

Hey, look, it is NOT MY FAULT! I was born this way. I have learned to live with it although I continue to forget. Then some asshole comes along and say/does something to remind me of my heritage.

This is no big deal after all. If it was, I would probably start posting to lengthy online rants about whatever pisses me off at any given time. Thank G(g)od that I have not been affected to that extent, at least not yet.

And before you get on that on your "this post ain't 'bout chicken" thread-purity fixation, I just wanna say one thing:

You can lead a chicken to water but you can't make him gather moss.