Hi all:

What excuse do you give your at-home GF or wife regarding why you must go away by yourself for a trip to LOS or Brazil? I am a bit surprised this has not been discussed before in the topics section. I have one friend who got fairly heavily into import-export business as a sideline to his government job. "Buying" is the excuse he gives for his trips to Beijing and Macau. Another friend has always been a big golfer; he gets by telling the Mrs. that he's only going golfing in Macau and Thailand. Frankly, these two excuses would require a huge pretense and effort; I also think they would be suspicious.

I would really hate to screw up my current USA GF; she's about the best I've ever had. She's slim and works-out everyday. She makes more money than I do and loves to treat me to dinner and weekend trips. Her only real fault is her fairly low sex drive.

OTOH, I think about my past mongering trips to T-land and Rio a lot; okay, I think about these past vacations every freaking day from my prison cell/work cubicle.

Any good excuses for a trip come to your mind? Thanks for your thoughts.

How about... "Honey, you provide everything I need in our relationship, except I don't get laid enough, so I'm going to (Brazil, Thailand, etc.) to get what you're not giving me, but don't worry, I'll use protection." Hey, maybe she'll start putting out and then you can save your money and not have to go so far to get laid. ;)

There is good rock climbing, surfing, windsurfing....

You could say you are getting together with a group of old school buddies to go hiking....I will send you a fake email...

Sorry man...this is tough...

California...I feel your pain.......

To be serious, I don't think you can hide your trips in the long run. Regular visits to Brazil and Thailand simply are not as easily explained as continuous fishing trips to Alaska, for example.

The smart American woman will figure out your real agenda relatively fast. What you need to do is try to explain to her how unnatural it is for a man to only have one woman, and that it is much better to have a bunch of garota namoradas in Rio than a lover in your home town....

I tried that and my shrink negotiated a once per year Rio allowance for me, with my wife, no kidding!

Of course, once a year is not enough, just having come back from my last trip. Unlike you, who is thinking about Brazil an almost reckless "every day" - I am thinking about it 100 times per day!!!!

I just hope the next chapter of this thread isn't "What do you tell your US girlfriend when you come back from your golfing trip to Thailand with an STD?" LOL (with apologies; I know this thread is about a serious subject).

I do muy thai and brazilian jiu jitsu. So the excuse is easy. Problem is she sees me train here and come home bruised and banged up. I come home from a trip and the only thing banged up is my pecker. She is clueless, but I think her friends are a little suspicious. I need to start an international business. Maybe I can import something that would require lots of contact with GDPs. AZ

"would really hate to screw up my current USA GF; she's about the best I've ever had. She's slim and works-out everyday. She makes more money than I do and loves to treat me to dinner and weekend trips. Her only real fault is her fairly low sex drive"

Calif - "Just Say No"
It seems as though your in love with a great women & you really should not go to LOS or Brazil never, ever again ....the rest of us CH cats will keep you up 2 date!!

I just have to say It.. "she works out" (nice body) and "makes great money" she might have a low sex drive because she been bangin someone else!!!
Now with that out the way..
If she does not really look at your passport, pick a place like Singapore or HK, with a side trip to LOS or PI - for Golf or Scuba diving, motorcycle tour, with the guys. If that does not work ..I used that I was on a spiritual trip to spend ten days learning and practicing meditation and the teachings of the Buddha, otherwise known as “Dhamma.”

I am sitting here now thinking how im gonna tell my "Filipina Old lady" I will arrive Philippines March 5th but have to depart March 11th to Thailand although I been away for 3 months.. Working in states, GF & Kids in Philippines and my Heart & Dick in LOS!!
Triple Threat, Not Easy

Good Luck
NW

A few years ago I told my then GF that my Philippino buddy was wanting me go in on a real estate investment over there, and of course I needed to see where I might be putting my money. She seemed to buy it. After I got back, I was telling her about how everything went, and launched into a vivid description of our side trip to the world famous Banaue rice terraces. When I stopped, she looks me in the eye and says "listen, I don't care about any rice terraces, I just want to know how many girls you screwed."

So much for her buying it!

Missionary work???? You have to spread the glorious message of salvation of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ by ministering God's message to the poor misguided inhabitants of Thailand, who while they are wonderful good hearted people, unfortunately are Buddhists and sadly will burn in hell for all eternity unless you can bring the message of Christ to them. And your girlfriend certainly wouldn't want all these good people to burn in hell for all eternity because she stood in the way of you bringing them the message of salvation, would she? Would she? It's something you are almost obligated to do.

If that doesn’t work, say you went fishing.

Ya Sancho....even Jesus was a friend to the harlots....lol. However, as most people that know me are aware, I'm agnostic, so that wouldn't work for me. My integrity would never allow me to deceive people about the existence of some wonderful, loving, invisible man in the sky that's going to burn them forever if they don't behave. Some things are just too important to lie about. I won't even do it for pussy....though apparently Jesus did.

On the other hand, I'm not in a position to have to hide anything from anyone right now. But you did get me thinking.....

Is your girlfriend going to want to tag along while you do humanitarian work??? Seems to me that you'd only have to do it once every two years or so, and take a thousand pictures, then select about a hundred of them to show after each of your five trips per year.

Hell, a humanitarian trip would be tax deductible, and your employer might even be guilted into helping fund the trip and giving you extra time off.

As such, I've looked around online a little and come up with a few potential ideas.

Dentists:
http://www.smilepower.org/

Doctors:
http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/

Light Construction:
http://www.globalvolunteers.org/

All kinds of stuff:
http://www.i-to-i.com/

Here are some books on the subject:
(Actually, you could probably just buy the books, keep them on the coffee table and get the pictures of your volunteer work online.
But your stories would be more convincing if you actually did it once or twice.)

http://www.amazon.com/Volunteer-Vacations-Short-Term-Adventures-Benefit/dp/1556525826/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b/104-1079685-8755928

http://www.amazon.com/Vacation-Works-International-Directory-Voluntary/dp/1854582372/ref=pd_sim_b_5/104-1079685-8755928


http://www.amazon.com/Live-Your-Dream-Volunteering-Overseas/dp/014200071X/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b/104-1079685-8755928

http://www.amazon.com/World-Volunteers-3rd-Humanitarian-Volunteering/dp/8889060093

Scuba diving is a great excuse, you can say you are going to dive a certain wreck. It will even give you an excuse when she catches you looking for hotels on you pc in far away places. You can always find a great wreck online close to your mongering destination. You can dive the wreck for a day get tons of pictures, then spend the rest of the time getting pictures of the babes you nailed. Just don’t get them mixed up when you have the neighbors over to check out your vacation slides.

Concarne: thanks for the offer of the email. That's going an extra mile.

I kind of like the idea of becoming a scuba diving devote and taking a scuba trip. She hates the water, so I would have to "force" myself to go on vacation without her.

Unfortunately, I am a bit old to suddenly become a tournament-level muy thai or jui-jitsu player.

Of course, you're never too old to suddenly "find God". However, if I told her that, my inability to keep a straight face would do me in. I can already hear her "phhhhht, yearh right".

My GF is a wonderful girl, but she is a Filipina-American. Think of the most catholic-guilted person you can think of and multiply by 3, you'll get the idea. She probably thinks the Pope is too liberal.

I'm going to be a buzzkill here. Any smart women will know or at least have her suspicions. But she might not mind you going since she can screw other guys while you're gone. Of course she won't talk or write about it on a website like this.

It's also worth adding that if you give her an STD, she can sue you.

I went throught this exact situation three years ago. I had a great girl, but I couldn't get fucking other chicks out of my mind. I finally concluded that I had to "shit or get off the pot." I broke up with her and fucked alot of chicks (pro and non-pro) since doing so. Not sure it's out of my system yet, but getting there.

If I were you, I'd make a decision one way or the other. Stay with the girl or go mongering to your heart's content.

How many mongers stay married? It's one thing to take an afternoon and go to TJ or a border town if you live close by, or even a weekend in the Dominican or Costa Rica to go fishing with some friends. But Thailand? Guys don't go to the other side of planet without their wives unless they're going to work, so your best bet is to get a job that has a lot of travel. We had a thread on this subject a few years ago, even a chat I believe, so it's probably a topic to revisit in detail.

As far as girlfriends, I would say if it's serious and you like the woman then you're pretty much in the same boat as a married guy. If it's more casual, who really gives a shit then, just make up whatever excuse and go do it. Keep in mind the overhead - daily calls home, that kind of shit - but just as you shouldn't take anything on the street with you in a 3rd world country that you can't live without, in case you're mugged, don't go on a mongering trip of any sizeable duration without being willing to pay the consequences with your wife or serious girlfriend.

Most "successful" mongers I know are single, either never married or more likely, divorced. If you get your mongering in while traveling for work, being married or in a serious relationship is doable. But, come on, no woman is going to be cool with her husband/fiance/serious boyfriend going to a well-known pussy spot like Thailand either by himself or with only guy friends.

Quote from Elgrancombo:
"But she might not mind you going since she can screw other guys while you're gone. Of course she won't talk or write about it on a website like this".

Hey- have you ever checked out "Club Mulher"???

Sorry, I don't have the password either.

It was great seeing you again in Rio!!
Andy

I've been with this USA girl for nearly two years now. Not much pressure to get married because she has one 16-year child at home. It might be difficult for the three of us live together. When he graduates and goes to college, now then she might turn-up the burner. She's Filipina, so of course, she has her parents living next door. With Filipinas, I think that is an automatic. I actually quit this website for a year to avoid thinking about trips. With my rejoining for a year, I wonder if Alcoholics Anonymous would consider that a "slip" or a full blown rebound.

You too Skisandy,
Have you been bumped up to two trips a year yet?

Elgrancombo,

You can sue for an STD? I wonder if i can get a refund from the terma girls that have been kind enough to lend me one from time to time.

- LB

Skisandy wrote -

"The smart American woman will figure out your real agenda relatively fast. What you need to do is try to explain to her how unnatural it is for a man to only have one woman, and that it is much better to have a bunch of garota namoradas in Rio than a lover in your home town....

I tried that and my shrink negotiated a once per year Rio allowance for me, with my wife, no kidding!"

I say good for you Skis. However, I wonder if your shrink is slipping the dink to the wifey while you are gone?

Put yourself in his shoes as he negotiates the deal for you...

SHRINK: "Yes, ma'am...it is a scientific fact that men need variety. If you don't throw your husband this bone to satisfy his manly urges...he's going to shack-up with your neighbors and friends and you'll be the laughing-stock of the town."

WIFEY: "Well, I suppose you are right...it is only a sexual thing, right? I mean, he doesn't love these women...he just needs variety, right?"

SHRINK: "Yes, for example...I need variety too. It's not a love thing for me...it is pleasurable recreational sex. Everyone should do it, just like exercise...but instead I call it sexercise."

WIFEY: "So doc, you do it too? Hmmm? Well, what do I get in return if I let my husband go to Rio once a year for varied recreational sex? Only a saved marriage and no lose of face? I think I too should get some fun, right?"

SHRINK: "Now you are talking."

Then Skiandy departs for Rio with a smile on his face and a boner in his pants.

WIFEY ON TELEPHONE: "Hi Shrinky dink...he's gone to Rio for two weeks. Why don't you stop by? I think I need some of your deep therapy tonight...I'll also take care of that 'variety' need you have."

Not saying this is the case...but if I can think it...so can shrinky dink.

AJ

Except of course that if he has a brain, his dink should shrink at the thought of getting caught, losing his license, his income, and subsequently, his shot at any real form of variety.....no money, no pussy....("non-pros" can be real sticklers when it comes to how much money is in it for them.)

The part about Mrs Andy getting some while he's gone seems likely, however.

If she is beyond childbearing years, should that be particularly troubling?