Uh oh, I had visited this girl in Rio three times starting about 2004. I met her in one of the smaller thermas in Centro. Let's call her Thais. She was very sweet, slightly shy, no hardcore attitude at all. I went back to see her two times after that, once six months or so. We had sort of a long distance relationship. I showed her how to set up an email account. She seemed very eager to receive my phone calls. It was fun while I was single. And yes, I did send her a bit of money. Not a whole lot, $100 here and there. Seriouly, she never asked me for it. It was my idea. I wanted to help her out. We would communicate by email or when I called her. But now, I have an a very cool, fun American girlfriend, let call her Margaret. I told Thais that I could not longer talk to her or be her boyfriend about 18 months ago. I told her I had met an American girl. That I would not be comfortable having two girlfrieds. To help cut it off, I put a block on her email address. She had never been able or willing to telephone me in the past, so I figured it was over. Last night, 18 months later, she called me in the middle of the night. Luckily, the girlfriend was not here. Thais is telling me that her mother is sick, and could I email her soon. She told me she had left me many messages on the phone. I checked my machine, and sure enough, there were FOUR calls from her there. What should I do? Should I change my phone number? If I do, Margaret will want to know why I did it. Should I do nothing? But then, what happens when Thais calls and Margaret is in the room with me? I want to end this problem somehow, but I don't want to make problems for myself. Someone here must have experience with this problem.

Tell the new girlfriend that you have a crazy ex-girlfriend who you used to go out when she lived in the US but she's now back in Mexico and is trying to rope-a-dope you into sending money and keeps calling. Let the new girlfriend listen to the messages and be done with it.

Make sure you say you met Thais here because you don't want your gringa girlfriend know you go/went to Brasil in the past. That will raise way too many questions.

Since the messages may be in Portuguese, you may want to suggest that the ex-girlfriend is back in Brazil rather than Mexico.

You could:

Change the number and tell your current gf that an obnoxious ex- was making harassing calls.

Get rid of your landline. Most everyone else is doing this.

Switch from a standard landline to VOIP and use this as an opportunity to change your number.

You should:

Never give your number to a puta. First rule of mongering!

I called the phone company. I asked if they could put a block on calls coming from Brazil. But they said no. The said the only thing I could really do was change my phone number. I kind of hate to do that because I would possibly lose touch with some distant relatives. The phone company also offered to refer it to the police. They said the police would call her and warn her about stalking charges. But this is impractical for a stalker outside the USA. And she hasn't really reached the stalker stage yet.

On the other hand, I don't want to have to sweat every time the phone rings.

If you have the number of any other gdp, answer, remain silent, and quickly three-way the call to gdp #2's cell phone. Then record the resulting conversation on your answering machine and post it here for someone to translate for everyone's amusement.

Yeah, I meant Brasil, not sure why I wrote Mexico.

I honestly don't see a big deal in this situation. Yeah, she's calling you - a little strange but dude, she's 5000 miles away and has zero chance of coming here and knocking on your door. Laugh it off, tell the gringa and she'll probably laugh as well. Maybe she'll get a little jealous even, which would be ok.

Catocony: yeah, you're probably right.

When I met the the USA girl, I evenually mentioned that I had known a girl in Brazil ann had blown her off. I don't want Ms. USA to think I've been calling and making lovey talk with the chica for all this time behind her back.

I concur with the other guys, it a pretty simple solution since she lives 5000+ miles away and there is very little chance of running into her in person at home. If you talk to her tell you won't or can't send her money and after that ignore her calls eventually she will stop. Especially when all those international call charges start adding up.

Boa Sorte

Well, I called Ms. Brazil. I thought that would be one way to keep her from calling me again over the weekend at least. She says she needs money, that her Mom's sick (I know, I know). Her Mom seriouly was sick in the past. In fact, one time when I was in Rio, she had to rush her Mom to Sao Paulo hospital to see a specialist. That time, she had so many details about it and she was so willing to answer any question about it and answer my phone calls that I know it really happened. It wasn't like she went to Sao Paulo with another bf.

This time, I did not push for many details and besides, over the phone, my Portuguese is pretty weak. At my best, I was only a 2.5 Pimsleur guy; I have not spoken Portugese in years.

She reminded me that she had never telephoned me in the past; that she knew I had a USA gf and respected it. She says she is not getting much work now.

At the risk of getting flamed, I am giving some thought about sending her some cash. She was a sweet girl back then. Am I nuts here? She wasn't a complete fraud like a girl in Thailand that I had know previously.

If she's been on the program for years, and hasn't seen you in 18 months, just assume you're one of 200 guys she's fishing for. The calling isn't that big of a deal - garotas are getting Skype accounts just like us and the whopping 3 cents US per minute or whatever Skype is is not going to bust their bank. In the past it was email, then instant messenger, now voice over IP. Different bait, same fishing hole, just ultramodern with the phone calls.

Don't send her money, she surely knows a lot of other guys who can help her out.

Calif thaied: I tend to agree with Cat, although ultimately it is up to you to decide what is really going on. None of us can do that better than you as you are closest to the situation. However, the fact you posted your dilemma in the first place would seem to suggest you are not fully convinced by her pitch, and your gut is telling you to beware. If I'm right, the best advice is to follow your gut.

As to how to deal with the phone calls and your American girl friend, one possibility that would cost something would be to maintain your present telephone number but always have it go to the phone company's voicemail that can be accessed from any phone; this avoids the problem of losing your contacts. You could then get a new number for your primary telephone. It could be a vonage number, skype-in number (these are cheap ($30 a year) but require use of your computer, although they sell wireless phones that work more or less like regular ones so long as your computer is left on), or a regular telephone number. Whether it is worth spending the money to implement this solution depends on many factors that would be personal to you.

One last thing: Two of my friends, both using cellular phones, have set up their phones to only accept certain numbers; otherwise, the calls automatically go to voicemail. I have never done this but am curious whether the person at your phone company gave you incorrect information (then again, maybe this can only be done with certain phone systems, or only with cellular telephones (the latter might make sense given that there are charges in the U.S. for receiving cellular calls, and therefore perhaps the phone companies are obligated to give you a way to screen out calls you don't want)).

Counter with a series of hard-luck stories of your own: sick parent, sick pet, brother's house burned down etc.

Please....please do not send money!! Gringo's already have enough of a reputation of being stupid for these girls. Many of these girls will hit up many of their customer's for money and many will be stupid enough to send it. A couple of GDP friends have shared of many of their tricks with me.... it is not uncommon for them to receive money from many gringos at one time. Many have 10 guys sending them $100 USD a month each to help them 'quit the business'! Another one I know gets $2000 USD a month from her boyfriend, but can still be found hookin'. Don't get sucked into all the bullshit and lies...... just say 'No'!!! PLEASE!!! You are completely nuts if you send money.... be reassured it is all BS!!! And even if it is not, why is it your problem? Sick moms, babies, aye... the oldest sob stories in the book!

Don't send her any money, it's like feeding a stray cat- they won't go away!

If she is calling you from the same number each time, you can get "call block" on an individual number (one of many feature most phone companies offer like caller ID, 3 way calling etc.).

I agree with the rest of the guys and especially LM. I've seen so many of these girls with guys on the hook for monthly "mesadas" (allownces)that it almost made me laugh. Some were making $1,500-$2,000 per month or more, some got cars then needed more money for gas, insurance etc. Never ending cycle for many. They get more, they want more.

There will always be some kind of crisis and most of them are nothing but out and out scams to get more money.

I also agree with the other guys who suggested telling the new gringa that she is an old GF (before you met the new GF) that keeps stalking you. Let the new GF even hear a call and hear you tell her to quit calling, you are not going to give her money, you have a new GF, yada yada yada. Will make the new GF feel more secure in the relationship and not fuel any resentment or jealousy. Better to be up front with it than try to hide it. You'll never get away with it and the new GF will always be suspicious if she catches you trying to hide it.

Just MHO of course but it has worked many times for me. Old GF's hate to hear the new GF on the line with you. Kinda takes the air outta their baloon.

Good luck.