I'm doing some research on appropriate business behavior and looking for some insight from our fellow hombres.

Could anyone share with me examples of being condescending to someone (whether a co-worker or a customer) at the workplace.

Thank you.

Solid

Which culture/country?

Murasaki

I think your post is condescending .

It may be but at least it didn't occur at the workplace.

Good question Murasaki!

In America...

I'll start things off...

Let's say another executive that works with you (by no means a close friend of yours) addresses you as "little buddy" (The first thing that pops in my mind when I hear that term is the television character "Gilligan" from Gilligan's Island. And this character wasn't very bright.

I think that this executive is being condescending.

Or not?

What do you think?

You're pretty smart for a woman.

You probably don't know this, but we have to account for ...

You're not as dumb as the other managers.

If it's too much hassle, we'll take care of that for you... (in particular, IT helpdesk people tend to assume all users are morons and then treat them that way.)

Dem Condescending Gnomes

Well some cultures are more formal, have rigid hierarchy, and some have big time machismo. Using USA norms as a baseline, you'll find many Asian business cultures to be very rigid and decision making is done by top boss. The person you are having a meeting with may not be in a position to make a decision. If you insist on answers you may seem very agressive. Same thing for some Latin American business cultures, but you also have very strong male pride. Push too hard and you end up indirectly insulting this guys position almost bringing attention he is a "small fish" in organization.

What is equally important is recognizing when the other guy is being condescending toward you. If it is happening and you don't stand up for yourself, you will be viewed as weak. Remember the hierarchy works two ways. As mentioned before, the person you are usually meeting with first time is normaly not real decision maker. If he is condescending toward you or treats you wrong, stop conversation and bring atention to the fact he has insulted you. Chances are he can not afford to let a deal slip by that his boss may be interested in simply because he was arrogant.

Also at same time don't expect a huge apology, be satisfied they have acknowledged it. Always leave room for the other guy to save face.