Next time you feel the urge to complain about your own line of work, just consider the plight of this guy.

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From:
http://www.studentmagazine.com/thisweek/thisweek_article.asp?articleID=213

Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore"

Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species.

The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm.

Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work.

"I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first." As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.

Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr. Binatang emerged again.

Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..."

Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous fluid.

"Isn't it dangerous?" we asked.

Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.

"They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.

Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk.

"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it."

"As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."

How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.

"It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex."

by Kway Png

FUCKING HYSTERICAL !!!

OMG, that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thanks for the post! Is this serious?

"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards"

"And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first."

Still rolling around laughing...

The story is a few months old... the cited link doesn't work any more. But the web site it's on has/had lots of straight news stories on it, so I have no reason to believe it isn't true, though it seems kind of farfetched.

I've heard rumors that horse breeding involves getting people to perform similar "services".

I agree... that's a classic. I'm glad I saved it.

I don't know; scraping used condoms off cabine floors in termas is pretty nasty work.

Okay... I did a little digging, and here's what I came up with:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/worstjob.htm

So it's a bogus story. Color me fooled, but it's still funny as hell. In my defense, I culled it from the studentmagazine.com site, which made no mention of it being a humor piece.

Now... the real question is, what kind of sicko would think up a tale like that?

BTW... www.snopes.com is an excellent place to check out the validity of stuff like this.

For another good (yet bogus) story, check this one out:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/buttbomb.htm

Race horses must not be artificially inseminated. Cows on the other hand can be. To insemunate a cow a full arm length rubber glove is used. The problem is that your face is then close to other organs and cows shit when stimulated.
Have fun.

Race horses are artficially insemnated. Same science, I guess, as is used for cows, dogs, humans, etc.

Unless there is some rule against it for throughbreds, there certainly isn't a problem scientifically.

In Oklahoma and Texas, it is not unusually to see frozen quarter horse semen for sale.

Thanks for all the useful information guys. Now I can be the life of the party!

LOL... look what I started. But since it's gone this far...

Cows are supposed to have only one orifice that performs two functions, so if one dumps a load while someone is artifically inseminating it... I don't even want to contemplate that.

Many years ago, I had a friend who was heavily into the horse racing scene... standard breds, not thoroughbreds. He claimed that horses tend to treat each other roughly when copulating, and since race horses are rather valuable commodities, means were devised to prevent them from roughing each other up. Basically, a human "middleman" was introduced into the mating process, to facilitate the exchange of semen. My friend never elaborated as to how that "exchange" took place.

Again, that might be a case where ignorance is bliss.

Would anyone, pray tell, be in a position to offer a more informed view on all this?

I have a feeling I'll regret asking that.

Will Farsider, let me step into this corral.

Bulls seems very aggressive when doing their thing, but I have yet to see a bull bite down on a cows neck and extract blood.

Stallions are completely nuts(pardon the pun) when they are just normal. Give them a hard on and they are killers. They will bite and kick their would be lovers and if a human is conviently close, stomp them into pieces. I hate fuckin horses as they are just stupid. All male horses should be casterated and we should let horses die out as a specie,

Now pigs are an entirely different matter including having nuts internally which makes them hard to casterate.

Benwhohasafuckingscareonhischinwherehewaskickedbyagoddamnhorse

It down to the Life Sciences building at the local college for me. I'll be there when the girls get out of class, ready to impress them with my new found knowledge on Club Hombre!

Thoroughbreds used for racing, Kentucky derby for example, cannot be bred via artificial insemination and then raced.

BEN: if you hate fucking horses (I would too)because they are just stupid what do you think about 90% of the human race?
See you again sometime.

I kinda enjoy inseminating hamsters.

Snapper,

Where the hell do you get this shit?

Damn funny.

You guys better look out. I have heard through the grapevine that this site is getting ready to be raided by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). Don't say you haven't been warned!!!!!LOL Archie 29621

Hey, pigs have orgasms that last up to 30 minutes!

I am gonna have to git me a hamster.

Sex-Starved Moose Defecates on Car
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OSLO (Reuters) - A sex-starved moose in Norway mistook a small, yellow car for a would-be partner, but defecated on it after it got no response.
Leif Borgersen, owner of the Ford Ka model, told the Norwegian regional daily Telemarksavisa Tuesday that he found his car bathed in lick marks, saliva and moose excrement.

Borgersen says the moose left its mark on the front yard of his home in Lardal, about 125 miles southwest of Oslo.

"The front yard was simply transformed into an outdoor toilet," he said. "I'm a bit uncertain whether I should take the risk of letting the car stand alone and defenseless on the front yard from now on."

There was no damage to the car apart from the sideview mirror that was bent backwards.

If my handle was "Bull_Winkle," I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to post a story like that.

DG