Although this "article" from the Onion is not exactly factual (ahem), it certainly does a good job of mocking the Catholic Church's pronouncements on birth and disease control.

"Starving Third World Masses Warned Against Evils Of Contraception"

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27702?utm_source=a-section

(Message edited by LAguy on March 17, 2009)

Goddamnit!! I meant Religious Idiocy as the thread title, not Religous Idiocy.

"Will you deny God's wisdom by using condoms, or will you shine in the divine light of unprotected sex? The choice is clear."

Yep, it sure is

While The Onion is world renowned for reliable reporting, in less reputable press there is quite a buzz because the Pope just said condoms cause AIDS.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article5923927.ece

Since I have recently converted to Catholicism I can not dispute something if the pope said it.

More on Catholicism and birth control, from the most reputable source: Monty Python:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8

Catocony,
May your penis contract a flesh-eating disease and fall off in the middle of a termas session.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate!

LAGuy,

I stay away from the chicks you bang, so I should be safe.

Catocony,
I was just at Rua Carioca, 59 yesterday and the only risk I take there is of catching fleas.

The Pope just arrived in Africa and in his first speech in the most Aids ridden continent in the world he called down hail and brimstone on condom users…not for the first time the Nazis, the KKK and the Vatican are in total agreement.

A cheap but effective shot:

I wonder whether he tells all the priests who do little boys they should refrain from using condoms as well (I also wonder what his religious views are on Hepatitis vaccinations, as they do interfere with the god-given natural order of things, i.e., getting disease).

The condom ban is not about not interfering in the god-given order of things. The Church depends on the donations of members, and condoms prevent the birth of potential Catholics. The Pope would rather see a million people die than see condoms prevent the birth of a single Catholic who might donate his/her meager earnings to the Church.

The Pope is a fool, and his brand of foolishness kills.

I agree Branquinho, but would take it much further. Most fundamentalists (and I put the Catholic Church in this category) use "be fruitful and multiply" as a manner of ideological imperialism, as well as a potential future profit source. It is a shame that the ideas that rule, and will rule, are largely dependent on which religious group manages to have the most babies, thereby making majority rule operationally less than ideal.

Sort of a reverse Hitler. Rather than kill the one's you don't like to remove their influence, you have as many babies as possible to make those you don't like, or who don't agree with you, less significant.

Very well said Branquinho. I guess in a roundabout way it looks like I also agree with Laguy, which is very uncomfortable.

I just saw some Mormon guys going down the street on their bikes. Why bother? they are going to breed the country into conversion.

I know I will lose you guys here, but the same scenario Laguy describes can be said of other groups outside of the church, as in a certain political party that grows by....oh, never mind, I know I have already lost you guys. Later, AZ

Azguy:

You are correct there is another group of people who are the result of breeding who are already having a profound impact on the balance of power politically. Yes, I am obviously talking about young people.

Given recent polling, the more of these there are, the worse off the Republicans are. So, if you Republican types are afraid of the emergence of a Democratic majority through increased young people production through breeding, you can stop this trend in its tracks by not breeding.

All of this is way above my head. Since I converted to Catholicism, all I know is the Pope said condoms cause AIDS and I will go to hell if I use them. That's good enough for me. I have faith.

Sadly, IAS, the Pope also tells his flock that unless they are married, they must remain abstinent. Hear that, IAS? Abstinent! No jerking off...nothing!

Turns out you're going to hell one way or another, so you might as well jettison the Catholicism.

Jesus will forgive me for my sins and that will keep me out of hell. So all I really have to worry about is the part where condoms cause AIDS.

I find most religions to be.....well, fucking stupid. It's crowd control, nothing more. But, out of all religions, about the only ones I can really deal with are liberal Protestant ones and Buddhists. The Buddhists don't fuck with you, Unitarians don't give you much shit at all, and as a lapsed Episcopalian, I can tell you that religion is as user friendly as a nice breakfast buffet. Take what you want, ignore the rest, you worry about your plate, I'll worry about mine and everyone's happy that afternoon.

All other religions and branches of Christianity tend to piss me off when I hear them talking. But, from this generality, I have particular contempt for Mormons (fucking cult), Roman Catholics (to many horror stories around the world to tell) and every single fucking Evangelical strain of Christianity (complete fucking idiots).

Cat,

Tell us how you really feel.

IAS,

It's a mortal sin; Jesus can't help you; you're fucked.

LAguy

During the Boer war (Afrikaners vs. English) in the late 1890's the Boer forces had a clairvoyant called Sinner (in English seer) Van Ransburg in the 1920 this illiterate seer had his daughter write down his prophesies. One of which was that a black man would rule South Africa before the end of the century. A prediction that you can imagine was not overly popular among his fellow white Afrikaners however he made another that the blacks (he didn’t us that word) would get thinner and thinner and eventually fade away from the country. A prophesy that has been trotted out by the far right since Aids. As an American evangelist claimed that Aids was the gay plague and gods wrath on the pink brotherhood these devout, pious god fearing individuals claim its gods way of cleansing Africa of…well the Africans. At the same time a Moslem cleric claimed Aids was Allah’s vengeance on promiscuous Americans and in the late 80's Farrakhan suggested that the Jews developed AIDS. On the other hand Cat could be right.

I can’t help but think that if G-d existed he would be an atheist.

I could never figure out if Afrikaners are mostly English and trying to speak some incomprehensible pidgin Dutch, or mostly Dutch and trying to speak some incomprehensible form of English. You guys end up sounding like a drunk Australian (aren't they all) with a speech impediment on speed.

Cat
Its simple Afrikaans is baboon Latin. It’s a mix of Dutch, French and English with some Zulu and Xhosa thrown in and for some sad reason is almost exactly the same as Flemish.
Never ever compare a South African to an Aussie. We might farm sheep, we might eat sheep we might even sheer sheep but unlike our commonwealth brethren we don’t fuck them. Our accent is much closer akin to the British, if we speak English at home and the Afrikaner sounds more like a drunk German with a cold and well, ok, on a little speed.