…and what do you get? A cunt the likes of which would make even the most thoroughly emasculated and pitifully compliant North American man cringe to be around.

That’s not a punch line – it’s an unfortunate observation.

In their natural habitat, they’re usually a breath of fresh air: respectful yet playful, feminine yet willful creatures from a classical and patriarchal culture that favors family unity and social conformity over individual ambition and aspirations. But transplant them into North American culture where the individual reigns supreme and where women seek to compete with men for the brass ring, and the result is a corrupted bitch that rivals the most obnoxious purebred Gringa our culture is capable of producing.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, but given what I’ve seen in my own community, there is no way I’d even consider sponsoring a Latina for U.S. residency. By the time she acculturates, she’d be a mere shadow of the woman she was in her homeland.

In a way, the result is analogous to what happens to otherwise ‘good’ North American men who venture into materially deprived South America where their stock is often overvalued. Guys with otherwise good intentions turn into scheming, dishonest and philandering pigs. I know this because I count myself among them.

The difference, of course, is that we return to our homes and our established social identities are completely restored. We go back to being good guys, good boyfriends, good husbands and good providers (more or less depending on our individual circumstances). But based on what I’ve observed to date, Latinas transplanted to the U.S., once acculturated, never look back.

It seems you really can’t take the fantasy with you. So those of us who are either experienced, cynical, jaded or well-advised choose to monger instead. Cheers!

Damn, who shit in your lunch box?

You say "scheming, dishonest and philandering pigs" like it's a bad thing...

I personally do not believe the common belief that latin women in the US/Europe are so different then those that live in South America. A strong belief in family and values does get automatically erased just because they move.

The only difference is economic needs - the plain fact is that women in North America have more choices. They do not necessarily need a man to provide for them. In South America, the discrepancies between poor and rich are much more obvious. Opportunities are limited for those of poor background. Hence those ladies will be more receptive towards the concept of pleasing their man if that gains them an advantage- but if this is with a foreigner, the cold hard truth is that it might simply be a matter of convenience and trying gain an economic advantage. I have seen many relationships of convenience in my many years in Brazil - I have talked to girls that are getting ready to marry someone in North America whom "they like very much", never mentioning the word love.

And if you think women in South America do not feel entitled, I beg to differ.... plenty of women are being financially supported by lovers and have high standard of financial support they require to remain in a relationship.

My point being that women are women.... a bitch in Columbia will certainly be a bitch once she makes it to X town US. The only difference is that she had to be on her best behavior (since that is to her best advantage) in her home country.

It just more likely that a woman in North America will choose her mate based on love... of course, the economic model of relationships also exist....but it is much more likely to find this in a South American woman & Gringo relationship. If it is true love, then all should be fine when she gets to North America. If she married for another reason, well things will start going sour quickly once she is established in the US. I wonder if there are statistics on the magical 3 year marriage mark with South American women. The point when they can retain they green card without being married.
At that point she can choose her mate more likely based on romance/love then gaining a better life, hence she "becomes more difficult".

This does not apply to just latin women either - I think this is a very common trait with women from Asia, especially Thai ladies. I think Thai love is often economically driven and how to best support the family, versus true love. Again, once the man is no longer needed (i.e. she has a good paying job in North America) and without love in place, that relationship will go south (or should I say east)

There are some fantastic ladies to be had in North America, especially in the South Florida/Miami area. Dated Columbian's, married/divorced one from Peru (my fault completely - or actually "Blame it on Rio"), a couple of Brazilians, and a Dominican.

I have two friends happily married to Columbian's.... one for more then a decade now, both living in Miami.

I agree with LM.

BTW, when I first went to Brazil I certainly didn't do so with good intentions.

I don't have any problem with women who compete with men for the brass ring. I find compliant women boring. My best relationships, regardless of location or the nationality of the women, have always been with women who had relatively equal standing with me. The subservient Asian woman stereotype that appeals to some gives me the creeps. I'd rather have the occasional fight with a woman than be bored by her.

If you've ever spent any time with rich "patricinhas' in S?o Paulo, you will understand exactly how manipulative, arrogant, scheming, ambitious, and controlling brasileiras can be. I saw behavior from these patricinhas that would have embarrassed the rich girls in Santa Monica. I'd thought I'd seen it all in SoCal, but these girls shocked me.

My brother's been married to a Colombiana for 31 years. She's the same person she was when she arrived in the States, aside from being much better off, economically speaking.

...hehehe...I have seen the same you described above with the Paulista's with white Rio Zona Sul types. Aye, talk about complicated and bitchy. Then going to the poorer girls they hold on to their man with a steel claw - controlling everything they do. I think the typical Brazilian relationship is a perpetual state of being pissed off at each other - then breaking up the relationship 50 times and returning 49 times until the final breaking point. The best thing about this is the make-up sex, speaking from personal experience. Then those relationships that do stay together, against popular belief the woman typically wears the pants.

Then one final comment about those perfect South American latin ladies - you think that only Latin men cheat? Well, let me tell you there are plenty of Brazilian women playing the field.... trust your lady only as far as you can see her. I think I have seen it all by now, but there are always surprises around the corner.

Regardless - I just love them :-)

LM,

Good insight on the motives and behaviors of women with regard to marriage. Actually...VERY good insight.

I think you're right in that if the girl was a bitch before the move, she's not going to change for the better after the move. On the other hand, if the marriage was motivated by true affection, there aren't likely to be any sudden changes in her attitude or character upon becoming assimilated to U.S. culture.

My original post here was probably a little too venomous and dismissive. If I could do it over, I'd dial back the intensity knob a few clicks.

LM is spot on regarding economic needs. I've lived in Mexico for the past four years and most of the people I work around are women - not high society types, as these women are still working, but definitely well-educated upper class types. All I can say is that I have learned the patience of Job during my stay here. Some of the things that I see just boggle my mind in their sheer stupidity. But that's another rant. Some of these women would be a bitch ANYWHERE they live. I will say that I do NOT think it is a cultural thing but more an an education and status thing. Also agree with Bwana about not liking milk-toast women. If you're looking for the type who will fight you, go with the well-educated upper-class Latina. You'll have your hands full.

EA

SW - It is good to vent, and all of us had bad experiences along the way. I have had my share.. but I have learned alot about latin women (probably should say Brazilians, who is a special breed of latin :-).

I see guys have bad experiences and going through hell with their ladies. But most of that is that lust is confused with love. I have heard so many stories and often mix in bars with many of the girls that have a string of gringo boyfriends. My wife - who is a fantastic Brazilian, who I really do not deserve based on my ongoing behaviors - has gone to parties only to hear the girls exchange stories about how they use fighting to their advantage to get presents from their Gringo boyfriends, and how much money he spends on them.

The point here being that the obvious is often right there facing us, but we often choose to ignore the signs. I pity the poor guy that decides to get involved with a working girl in South America - that is typically a road to financial ruin and emotional distress. Now, there are exceptions to everything but generally the odds are against you.

There is a big list of things that trigger warning signs in me and obvious behaviors. Also, I stay realistic about expectations. I generally date within 10-12 years of my age (I am 40). Also, so that they do not get a sense of entitlement I always keep them working and help me somehow with my bills, even so they earn much less. They have to appreciate things - the more is just thrown their way for doing nothing, the more bitchier and demanding they become.

So far, knock on wood, that has worked for me - as a result I have met some fantastic latin women along the way, both in South America and in the US. For the most part it was almost me that screwed things up along the way.