DICK-SA test

Sexual Addicts engage in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.

There are many questionnaires out there to determine if you might have a sexual addiction. The G-Sexual Addiction Screening Test (G-SAST) from the Sexual Recovery Institute is a good one. It contains 25 diagnostic questions and can be found here:

http://www.sexualrecovery.com/sri_docs/gsast.htm

However, I have created my own test that should be helpful for anyone who is intereted

DOGSTER’S INSTANT, COMPRENSIVE, KILLER SEXUAL ADDICTION test (DICK-SA).

The DICK-SA contains only one question.

1. Are you a member of Club Hombre?

If you answered yes, then you have a sexual addiction.

Milkman and Sexual Addiction

It looks like Milkman has a book on this topic. Wow, Milky, I'm impressed. How was the SG?

Milkman, HB and Sunderwirth SG. Craving for ecstasy: the consciousness and chemistry of escape. Lexington, MA; Lexington Books 1987:40

Posted by Ben on April 28, 2002 - 9:15 am
Mexico Chat

In Reply to: In the addiction literature... posted by Dogster on April 27, 2002 - 23:41 pm

"In the addiction literature...It amazes me, or perhaps a better word it puzzles me, that we on this board concern ourselves so much about this sex addiction.

"It all seems fairly normal to me that men, including old bastards like myself, really like to fuck beautiful young women. Sometimes even have have more personal relationships with them.

"As long as you are not hurting yourself or others, whats the big deal?

Posted by Dogster on April 28, 2002 - 14:06 pm
Mexico Chat

In Reply to: Re: In the addiction literature...It amazes me posted by Ben on April 28, 2002 - 9:15 am

This is one of the most often-asked questions. What's the difference between having a high sexual appetite and being sexually addicted? The answer doesn't actually lie in the sexual area of our lives, but in the emotional area.

Let's sidestep the issue and talk about another addiction: alcoholism. Does an alcoholic drink liquor excessively simply because he's thirsty? Of course not. The alcoholic will turn to drink because he's happy or sad or excited or afraid or tired or stressed or relaxed or annoyed or withdrawn or any of a number of feelings. Alcohol becomes a coping mechanism when life gets uncomfortable. At first, alcohol seems like a good friend because it helps numb the pain. Later, though, the addict learns that this coping mechanism is destructive. Gone far enough, alcohol can cause the most prosperous person to lose his health, friends, respect, job... and even his life (as we've seen recently, with Silvia's amigos).

So how does this relate to sexual addiction? Sex in and of itself is not problematic. The difficult thing about sex as an addiction is that the addict uses sex to cope with life. As with the alcoholic, a sex addict doesn't turn towards sex simply to satisfy a high drive. A sex addict turns to sex as a means of dealing with his/her existence. Like alcoholism, sexual addiction will trash the addict's life. The difference is that sexual addiction works through the most intimate areas of human relationships. One joke among addictive people is "If you're going to have an addiction, sex is the one to have!" But sex as an addiction can ruin life relationships... and ruin the joy and pleasure of sex.

I may head to the Zona Norte today to get this off my mind.

Lots of Mongers/Hombres have alluded to “sexual addiction” on this site. Here are some of the links:

ClubHombre.com: Tijuana: Questions/Commentary/Advice: Sexual Addiction

ClubHombre.com: Tijuana: Advice/Questions/Commentary: Loyalty/Addiction/Expenses: Archive

ClubHombre.com: Men's Health: Bareback Sex / The Joy of Bareback Sex

ClubHombre.com: Men's Health: Mental Health

If you are interested in reading a good, general, introductory article on the topic, check out the following:

How to recognize the signs of sexual addiction: Asking the right questions may uncover serious problems (Jennifer P. Schneider, MD, PhD)
http://www.ncsac.org/article.htm

One of the most common questions asked is "How can I know if I'm a sex addict?" Dr. Mark Laaser (Faithful & True) lists five common aspects of addictions. Addictions are:

1. Repetitive - there is a pattern of repetitive use for at least 2 years
2. Degenerative - the addict moves to increasingly intense behaviors
3. Unmanageable - the addict does things s/he doesn't want to do
4. Medicative - the addict uses the behaviors/substances to change his/her feelings
5. Destructive – there is harm (or potential for harm) to self and others

Criteria for Substance Dependence - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV)

Although this deals with substance dependence, the criteria are often applied to sexual addictions, too. ("addiction" is no longer PC terminology, but fuck em).

A maladaptive pattern of substance use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:

(1) tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
(a) a need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired effect
(b) markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of substance
(2) withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
(a) the characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance (e.g., clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning).
(b) the same (or closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms
(3) The substance is often taken in larger amounts over a longer period than was intended
(4) there is a persistend desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use
(5) a great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the use of the substance (e.g., visiting multiple doctors or driving long distances), use the substance (e.g., chain smoking), or recover from its effects
(6) important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use
(7) The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (e.g. current cocaine use desite recognition of cocaine-induced depression, or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption.

Here's an old post of mine on the "self-medication" aspects

Mongering as Self Medication
Webmaster: Hombre
Posted by Dogster on January 09, 2002 - 11:32 am
Mexico Chat

In Reply to: No Longer on a Roll posted by Ben on January 08, 2002 - 14:57 pm

Allow me to take a time-out from my smart-ass posts of the past week.
Ya know, I think that many of us can help ourselves by acknowledging that there's a self-medication aspect to mongering. The concept of "self-medication" comes from the drug addiction and treatment literature. The idea is that at some level, we are drawn to prostitutes because we have difficulties dealing with painful emotional experiences, past and present. We all hunger for loving, nurturing, fulfilling sexual relationships with women, whether we admit it or not. Some of us avoid being in committed relationships because we tend to end up with women who seem intrusive, or dishonest, or worse. We may also cringe at the puritanical, restrictive sexual expectations so typical of our American culture. Others of us are simply burned out from significant or repeated rejection by the women we have coveted. If our childhoods involved significant loss, rejection, or lack of connection, the pain truly runs deep, although we may not be aware of it.

In other words, some of us are vulnerable to the "drug" of prostitution because of preexisting emotional pain that prevents successful adaptation to adult life. Going to prostitutes is an attempt to fill up psychological holes resulting from existential pain. (Hey Beavis! He said "holes" Heh heh, huh huh)

If you are a "self-medicator," it makes sense that you'll seek more than simple sexual contact with the chicas. Especially after the most incredible sexual encounters with a prostitute, you may paradoxically feel empty and unfulfilled at some level. In other words, you received what you thought would be 100% fulfilling, and it wasn't. (in the same way, many lottery winners ultimately are miserable. All that money isn't as fulfilling as they expected it to be). It makes sense that you would want more (i.e., perhaps that deeper emotional connection that has been elusive for so long).

If you believe the self-medication theory applies to you, you can help yourself in various ways. The first is simple awareness. This is an awareness that going to TJ is more complicated than just going to have a good time; "just boning chicks". The act "serves a function"--the function of reducing pain; of trying to approximate a loving yet eternally elusive relationship.

From there, you are in a position to see that there is psychological pain, along with pleasure, from going to prostitutes. They can provide you with incredible, affirming sex, and they may be very enjoyable people. But the chances of them providing that ideal, nurturing love relationship is practically nil. (And, their choice of career doesn't exactly correlate with loving, nurturing, monogomous, devoted, reliable behaviors, in case y'all haven't noticed). Even though we know this at some level, the part of us that craves more will actually suffer following yet another elusive encounter.

Ultimately, I think a mindful, nonattached perspective is the key. Be conscious, experience things as they truly are, and recognize that suffering is something generated internally. (If you don't think that sounds totally wierd, check out buddhist and yogic perspectives... Cool stuff.)

Obviously, I enjoy spoofing the whole concept of deep emotional attachment to TJ working girls (e.g., my thread, "I married a TJ Prostitute" from last week). It isn't that I think y'all are fools for wanting more from them. However, I think the desire isn't based on rational or realistic thinking. I struggle with the same feelings periodically with ma favoritas. In fact, I think the TJ working girls have much to offer us beyond the roll in the sack. Most importantly, I believe that the pain that many of you feel now does not come out of a void. You may think that it was caused by the experience with a particular chica, but in fact the pain has been there a long time.

gotta go fill a psychological hole.

OK. So maybe I happen to be dealing with some issues here. But I can stop whenever I want. I don't have a problem, OK? OK?! Y'all have a problem. Not me. This is for you.
Dogster, out.

Dogster,

hmmm, if you were to do a little self analyisis what would you make of your role as a participant-observer in this on going discussion? As you are probably aware clients who are very resistant frequently offer great intellectual insight into their own or other's behavior, and use intellectualiztion as an avoidence mechanism.

For what it's worth, I scored 6 on the addiction scale. "hello, my name is ezy and I am a sexual addict. Dogster, let's go get laid after this damn meeting. I need to self medicate.

Doctor Dogster
I was going to say I have a low sexual appetite and I don't believe I am sexually addicted but I scored a 10 way above the 6 for what they consider dangerous. I believe they want some new clients as I believe most people would score at least a 3.
Ezy let's meet in BA so we can take care of our addiction.

Tourists! I lost count at 12...

athos,

I'm planning a trip to BA for August...when I plan to feed my sexual addiction by gorging myself on wine, women & song....debauchery in the US just isn't the same.

Excellent Ezy,
I am going to Rio in less than two weeks. Was hoping for a BA trip in nov. Am looking forward to your upcoming trip report and updates then.
Yeah debauchery is the right word.

OK all you addicts (and Glad I am not), you may (all?) relate to the text
below taken from another website. As you see, you can easily substitute
Carson City, Tessa, Sherry, Cindy Spice etc. with TJ, Tanya, Monica, Betty
etc.

From : Dopey

To : GP's Message Board

Date : July 05, 1999 at 10:49:38

Subject : You were warned !!! (message #121609, in reply to message #121604)


Abandon hope, all ye who enter here ...

I can tell that I'm starting to get obsessed with brothel-going. I'm going
to have to find a way to stop.

Now, why do you feel that you need to find a way to stop?

Are you not enjoying yourself?

Are you enjoying yourself TOO much, therefore ... it's, it's, it's Oh for
shame, sinful?

Do you need to stop because, *gasp* only losers have to pay for sex?

Do you need to stop because, *gasp*, you feel like you're exploiting these
poor women, trapped by economic necessity to sell their bodies?

Do you need to stop because ... you'll go bankrupt?

Do you need to stop because you're spending too much time thinking about and
planning your next trip, the trips after that, and the trips after ... well
you get the idea.

I used to have some of those 'issues' too, many of them (in regards to
exploitation) were laid to rest by the ladies, Tessa, Sherry and Cindyspice.


The 'novelty' does wear off ... I'd say it takes, on the average, about two
years for most of the guys here. Let us know when it gets to the point where
you're selling every tangible asset you own to go to Reno, when you start
stealing from friends and family to support your 'habit' ... when you end up
living in homeless shelters, standing on street corners with a sign, Will
work for Sex. When that happens, you'll become a poster boy for ... the
brand X, anti-LPIN board.

Lessee, from my personal experiences ...

Phase One : BC - Before Computers : On My Own

Step 1 - First party. In Winnemucca. Done on a sperm of the moment whim ...
totally unplanned. Loved it! Had my 'Brothel Epiphany' ... *see lyrics
below*.

Step 2 - Second party three months later. Old Bridge Ranch (I didn't know
how to get to any others, I went to the Mustang complex ... it was the
closest and right off the freeway with big signs). It was OK.

Step 3 - Third party a month later. Mustang Ranch. It was bad ... but even a
bad party is ok.

Step 4 - Fourth party, tried to find Ingrid back in Winnemucca ... she was
long gone, didn't find anyone else there to party with. Got a book in a
liquor store, titled, 'Best Cathouses in Nevada'. Used the map to get to the
Carson City houses. Found the Sagebrush, Moonlight ... etc. I'd thought I'd
died and gone to heaven!! Partied with Paige ... excellant!! I was a goner.

Phase Two : AD - Addiction Development : You can find ANYTHING on the
Internet

I used a friend's computer and did a search of "Legal Prostitution Nevada"
... and voila ... here I is. What's bad about being here, is you become
friends with other guys ... guys who support your brothel hopping, guys who
tell you to "Go For It".

My frequency went from buy monthly to buy bi-monthly (I'd found a 'regular'
who I'd see every other week ... I missed one weekend and she called me at
home to make sure I was OK) and as my 'addiction' grew, I was going weakly,
(this happened right after CWMCM#2 when I found my first OTP regular ...
someone I *clicked* with so much, I couldn't get enough of her). She left a
month and a half later ... *phew*. I picked up another OTP regular shortly
after ... but that ended too. I took a three month break to reassess my
involvement in LPIN. I needed the time to put on a teflon suit.

I returned with my teflon suit of armor on at the beginning of the year. My
New Year's resolution was to keep my trips down to once a month. So far,
I've pretty much managed to do that ... although I've 'slipped' a couple of
times. I met another gal who was OTP material on my last trip at the
Sagebrush ... but she planned on leaving when her five days were up ... the
money just wasn't enough for her to return so I've had no big urge to break
my resolution.

I dunno ... you other guys, is that pretty much your experiences? As far as
the time line is concerned? I know most of you aren't able to 'drop' into
Nevada on a whim like I am, so that'd be a big difference.

"Dust in the Wind"

I close my eyes
Only for the moment and the moment's gone All my dreams Pass before my eyes
a curiosity Dust in the Wind All we are is Dust in the Wind

Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see Dust in the Wind All we are
is Dust in the Wind

Now ...
Don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky It slips away And all your
money, won't another minute buy Dust in the Wind All we are is Dust in the
Wind All we are is Dust in the Wind Dust in the Wind Everything is Dust in
the Wind Everything is Dust in the Wind

~Kansas~

What's LPIN taught me ... live for the moment!