I have a confession to make.

As I've been stranded here in the USofA for a while, I've had to supplement my international travel routine with some local distraction.

I've been under a lot of stress lately. Today I woke up in a foul mood. My local garota has been putting the moves on me... commitment, loyalty, future plans and the like have begun to pepper her conversation with me. Ugh. Needing an outlet, I called my favorite shiatzu massage place and booked a session.

We've all heard the jokes about Asian massage places, famous for the 'happy ending'. Well, today I was abruptly introduced to something shocking. Those of you who are squeamish should stop here and read no further. You've been forwarned.

After a my shower and sauna, I retired with my Korean hostess to our massage room for an hourlong massage. "You velly tense!" and "what your girlfriend doing to you?" were her comments as she treaded lightly upon my knotty frame with her skilled feet. The hourlong massage flew by as she ironed my creased carcass beneath her in a talented tapdance routine designed to both torture and soothe my aching corpse.

Soon enough the hour was over and it was time to manipulate the main muscle. I savored the moment as she dismounted. Laying motionless on my stomach, I awaited the tap on my shoulder when she would whisper in my ear "turn over". But the signal never came. As her fingernails glided up and down my buttocks and the backs of my thighs, I realized that she was zeroing in on the target. "Oh oh!" I thought to myself as her cuticle passed over the bullseye - "I'm not sure I like where this is going..."

Reaching a hand beneath my hip, she pulled my ass up a degree while sliding her other hand down my crack to begin working on the underside of the nutsack. As I lay there precariously perched atop my kickstand with her ten digits nimbly massaging my marbles, I couldn't help but wonder what was coming next.

Gradually her fingers fondled my flute before firmly grasping it and deftly pulling it downward until it lay in line with my legs, pointing at my feet. Laying face down with my body weight bending the base of my shaft, I thought to myself "Honey - that thing wasn't designed to point in that direction" as she began stroking my straining sinew.

Fidgety as hell, I wondered where her other hand would land. Sure enough my apprehensions were realized as her lubed fingertip descended upon my tensed sphincter. "Fiddle with that and you're likely to get a black eye, bitch!" I thought, but it was too late. With my unit bent backward and clutched in her unyielding grip, she'd caught me off guard. Pinned down as I was, her finger effortlessly penetrated my defenseless hindquarters.

It was all over except for the weeping. My anal cherry had been popped.

So here I am laying prostrate with my face protruding through a hole in a massage table, tears streaming down my nose as a foreigner was deflowering me. At an incredible pace my mind replayed the countless similar scenes from my past - only I was always the pitcher, and not the catcher. A truly surreal experience, I can assure you. Were it not for her finger in my ass, I might've been struck by the sheer irony of it all.

Earlier in the session, we'd heard a woman client arrive in the room next to ours for a massage. I remember thinking to myself that I'll have to try my best to be quiet when I climax. All of a sudden her wayward digit lands upon my grand gland. I'm not sure whether to scream for mercy or shout for joy, so I just groan really loud. This upsets my korean hostess who removes her hand from my johnson, placing it upon her lips to tell me to 'shush so lady next door not hear you'. You'd think that under the circumstances I would be given a little leeway? But I digress. Back to the matter at hand.

When her fist returned to thrashing my throbbing tallywhacker, she leaned over and began smooching my scrotum while her finger flickered over my poor prostate. Unable to scream due to the moratorium she had imposed on any verbal response to her assault, I held my breath for what seemed like an eternity while she thrust me to climax.

Sensing the turning point of my massage, she added one more stimulus to heighten my first anal encounter as I orgasmed - taking a fold of skin from the junction where the scrotum meets the asscrack, she lifted my nutsack skyward and like a puppy gnawing on a chewtoy, shook it from side to side.

This lass is priming my pisspump, my sphincter is singing while she pummells my prostate and now my testicles are tingling too. Raising my waist up from the table during orgasm only served to further mash my face down into the table. Unable to verbally express myself, I resort to biting the towel she had neatly folded around the head of the table. "Am I paying her for this?" I thought, as I sprayed my calf and ankle with the fruit of her labor.

I remember collapsing back onto the table as she unceramoniously plopped her dirty digit out from my soiled sacrum. Emancipating my unit from her deathgrip, she gave me a kiss on the buttocks before telling me to 'relax' for a while before leaving. At her direction, I lay there for several minutes 'relaxing' while trying to remove the lint from my tongue.

After dressing, I left her money on the table, but not without seriously debating whether or not I should leave any tip.

May 17th 2004 will be a day to remember...or a day to forget. I'm just not sure which right now.

hahahahhahahahhahahah

This is some shocking turn of events. YOu know it only takes two or three more steps before you are hanging out in San Francisco styled bathouses. Step 2 will be to start asking every girl your with to lick you asshole. THen it is only a short step to asking every GUY you meet to lick it. THen hey, if they can lick it, why not let them massage your prostate with their COCKS?

ANyway, try to keep this behavior in check.

PS--you didnt happen to get the address and the name of your Korean masseuse did you?

Well written!

Hehhe, can we call you DonAGringo from now on? Anyway, since you're temporarily (we hope) forbidden from traveling overseas, why don't you buy yourself a plan ticket to Grand Rapids to "relieve the stress"? I hear there's a mighty lonely Porn Producer looking for some company up there, maybe you can work out some "mutual relief"...

;-)

BS

Guys, I really debating the wisdom in sharing this dark page from the diary of my life. In the end, I decided to do so while it (and the scars on my sphincter) were still fresh. I mean - this woman held my scrotum in the air by her TEETH for God's sake, and do I get any sympathy? One pervert asks for her contact info and another renames me DonnaGringo. Sigh...

As I read your callous comments, I now realize I was mistaken to think that I could count on your support during my time of emotional need. I can now begin to sympathize with Kobe Bryants' victim. In the future I think it's best that I just keep these posts to myself.

Regretably I Remain Yours Truly,
DonGringo

Deeg,
That story brought a tear to my eye. I was laughing so damn hard, I cried. You do seem to attract some pretty kinky situations, need I remind you of your trip to Ireland. Now that you've been de flowered, should I tell Bia there is a new home for her toy.
CG

CG - God forgive should Bia's toy ever travel to the darks of DG's "Sphincter". That toy is reserved for me comes June! - Hemp

My God! Bia uses those toys on you guys??!! Are you serious??? Damn! And to think that all this time I thought they were all for her! Holy shmokes! I mean, here I am sheepishly spilling my guts in our virtual locker room while you bastards have been doing this anal invasion stuff all along?

In spite of SOG's warnings, I might hafta book a special session with ol' Bia ...

And SportoLingo, you know that half these other bastards have had some weird shit happen to them too - they just don't have the guts to write about it.

I have posted numerous stories of my freak experiences. Thankfully though, I've never had an anal intrusion from any of them. One garota bit me on the leg, but in her defense she had a dog collar so I should have been prepared. Another wrapped up a used rubber that was filled with my jizz and tried to put it in her purse so she could "examine it with her microscope" at home. Hell, this last trip, I had a little spinner from Help who not only ended up snoring her ass off all night, when I turned off the lights to go to bed she started making little ghost noises (I've been boo'ed in bed but for other reasons) and whisping "fantasma" while hitting me on the arm.

By the way, why didn't you stop the wayward chosin agashi from her anal probing?

Deeg,
I am so sorry if I gave the impression that she has used any of those devices on ME. I was merely offering to act as an intimidator to expand your new found sexuality. Although she has tried to entice me, there is no Ralphie in my past, or future.

Now Hemp, that is an entirely different story. Hemp, care to elaborate on your first trip to Rio and the conversation you had to have with a pharmacist regarding your prostrate. What medication did he end up giving you?
SL

(Message edited by cortogringo on May 18, 2004)

Welcome to the wonderful world of the prostate, Mr. DG. I have admitted to having the little lovelies at the Eden Club in BKK strap one on and do me doggy style, and.... I liked it!

BTW, didn't you violate that dude in South Dakota's rule about jacking off in Rio? Wasn't there an airport incident a few years back....

Murasaki: I am so jealous. None of the lovelies at the Eden Club ever tried to fuck me in the ass, they only let me fuck them in the ass! I feel like a real loser.

Where can I SEE YOUR KOREAN FRIEND

OH

Oh my God. Excuse my spelling in that last post. Damn, Ambien and Jack Daniels.
SL

(Message edited by cortogringo on May 18, 2004)

Now that you've had your sphincter loosened, need we fear a "backdraft" incident in a boite. Should we be wary of sitting/standing near you? Perhaps Coffeemaker (who, rumor has it, has experienced this phenomenon in 4x4)can give you "tips" on how to avoid this.

CG - Somethings are very private therefore I can't post all the details. All I could say is if I did it would spoil your day and break your heart as it pertained to BIA. That woman loves me and only me regardless of the size of your instrument. She called me last night and can't wait for me to move to Rio so we can be together often. - Hemp

Catacony
You asked why I didn't stop her from the anal thing? Fair question. I think this was the 5th visit to this Korean Shiatzu professional. I really do like her massage, and the topless happy ending goes a long way in my book too.

In the past, she has always done external prostate manipulation by pressing on the region between my nuts and the backdoor. This is cool with me. In a previous session she had even done some light sphincter massage as well, but never attempted penetration. Since she had knocked on the back door before without attempting to barge in, I was relaxed and comfortable, thinking that I could trust her. Boy was I wrong.

The elapsed time from the moment she defiled me to me blowing my load couldn't have been more than 30 seconds. In fact, this chick is so talented I rarely last more than 60-120 seconds from the time she starts in on me. Hell I don't think I could acheive those results myself~! even alone in some hotel room with porn on the TV and porno mags strewn everywhere.

Muraskai,

I am likely the only loser on this board who has jacked off in Brazil. It is indefensible, regardless as to my circumstances. If you would kindly stop reminding the readership of this fact, I would greatly appreciate it. Unlike other posters on this board who take great pleasure in describing their international jack-off episodes, I am shamefaced by this disgraceful incident.

DG
And as for your Bangkok buttpiracy, my grandmother used to warn that "some things are better left unsaid". Clearly she would admonish you with these sage words today were she still alive.

DG I’m curious did you leave her the tip or not?

SF Hombre: I’ve never had a problem with back draft but after DG’s experience a roll of duct tape would be in order just in case.

SFHombre
I trust the elasticity of my bunghole will recover sufficiently to assuage your concerns. I'd hate to be the party pooper at our next terma run.

That said, hopefully Coffeemaker will overcome his apprehensions enough to bestow his guidance on our good board.

It is interesting that when I think back about the intrepid posters who are willing to share their appalling experiences with the board, your name comes to mind. I cannot tell you how careful I've been to make sure my date doesn't have a 'surprise package' awaiting me. Brrrrrr

Hemp,
I am pretty much over Bia. I've got a new favorite, Julianna.
SL

Fellow board members. I beg of you--stop responding to this tall-tale. Let the thread die a quick death. This talk about anal "accidents" is disgusting and not an appropriate subject for this board. Do we not have ANY standards of decency?

SL
Is Julianna on a terma team or a free agent?
DG

My only advice on the matter is this:

Never trust a fart. Especially during negotiations as to whether its going to be the cabine or the Suite. I made the all too familiar mistake of trusting said fart. My thoughts of the cabine were rapidly replace by the thought of a nice warm shower in the privacy of the suite. Havin trusted the aforementioned passing of a bit of wind left a small poop stain. Thank God I was wearing my shorts.

Coffeemaker
I anguished over whether to leave her a tip. Over the objections of grievance filed by gluteous, I did in fact leave the same tip I always left.
Anyone who is visiting Florida and wants the contact info on this masseuse can inbox me for it. But do so at the peril of a similar session happening to YOU.

"Do we not have ANY standards of decency?" GCL asks.

Quite obviously not, since he is allowed to post his tales of degradation, depravity, and deprivation (i.e., GCL's wanton experiences in "self-pleasure" in South Dakota). Would any of us be surprised to learn that he had a finger up his ass while massaging his manhood?

..or a live black-footed ferret?

Everyone of you sicken me.

To suggest I would do anything sexual with a black-footed ferret is nothing short of reprehensible. They are tasty critters though--and to any conservationists here, I apoligize for eating one. I had no idea they were on the endangerd species list.

Back to the subject at hand. This toilet talk should be beneath all of you. And I would NEVER jerk off with a finger in my ass because it is quite painful--particularly when I get past the second knuckle.

CortoGringo / DonGringo - You know both of you guys really make me sick. - CG did you use that instrument on her? YOU BASTARD and DG I hope you stay in the states. Keep it up and both you guys and GCL will be removed from my Will. Hemp

Hemp,
Yes. She was 'sportolingoed', at which point she begged me for my cell phone number and my apt address. Not even 5 minutes after she got off work, there she was at my front door. Hate to be written out of the will, sounds like you got a pretty nice cell phone. I could use that.
SL

I have obviously been away from the board for wayyyyy too long. I need to get back into this fray.

The return of Sandman...on its way to Hombre!

Sandman?

THE Sandman??

I once knew a guy named Sandman. He was a good travel buddy for a while. Sure I shared a few apartments in Rio with him - hell we even shared a RV in Cuba for two weeks. I introduced him to to Adrianna, BTG, and a host of others...

But then he moved to Brazil.

Since moving to Brazil, he disappeared.

No posts on this board.

No calls.

No emails.

And now, after months of silence, he emerges from nowhere, expecting to 'pick up where he left off'.

That's cold dude.

Verrrrry cold.

DonGringo
The 'former' friend of Sandman

Donginko -- You say you let the anal exploration continue for 30-60 seconds AFTER you realized she had gotten your cherry?? Would it take 30-60 seconds for you to react if a certain blonde we both know (in the biblical sense, that is) got her braces caught in your foreskin on the upstroke?

Obviously you are reluctant to say it outright but the time tells the tale: you were paralyzed with enjoyment, a rabbit in the torchlight. GCL -- can you do a remote broadcast starring Deeg, the masseuse and assorted vegetables?

Coffeemaker -- You are a truely an accomplished spinmaster. I remember your story as told to me by a guy with a bad dye job who was there, and looks amazingly like you.

HE said you thought you could quietly cut a quick but nasty one in a crowded boite, but instead had a blowback so sustained, loud and liquid that your friends were ready to call the guy who put out the oil well fires in Kuwait.

The look on your face after firing that sprayshot across the bow of that spinner blond with braces standing waaaay over on the other side of the 4x4 boite, could only have been exceeded by Donginko's expression at the exact moment he realized he had let the Korean masseuse fist him for a full 55 seconds already.

Shame on you for blaming an innocent fart

SFHombre
Please - sit down and give your mind a rest. Clearly your response is evidence of the inbreeding in your family.

Let the record show that when you brought a dickbaringdike up to your apartment, I cast no such disparaging remarks upon your thread.

I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you are.

And to answer your question, I HAVE had a garota catch her braces in my scrotum on the upstroke. I never protested either. I would offer to post some video proof, but alas, Hombre does not permit such footage on this site.

You should do some honest and sincere soulsearching - with the hopes that you might actually find one.

DonKinko

SF hombre --- tonight you seem to have a drug induced, completely unrealistic, and inaccurate description of a normal physiological event. It was a totally silent, slightly liquid, harmless, and odor free fart. I am extremely offended by your overly verbose description of an innocent occurance of nature. It seems you have definitely overstated the event.

Dongringo. You are right. I apologise for indicating there was the slightest possibility that you liked the korean tonsil massage for that full minute. Clearly you reacted as quickly as if she had accidentally applied a burning gel (Ben Gay?) to ease the stiffness in your joint.

Oh, and BTW, on that unfortunate occasion I discovered my rented Hoover was equipped with unnecessary attachments, I immediately asked he/she/it to leave. There was no penetration of anybody's body parts. Not for sixty seconds, not for ten. I will admit tho, that I can't get rid of that disturbing memory of he/she/it standing at my toilet, pulling the bottom of the dress forward, and pissing like a horse. Bluagh!

Coffeemaker. To this day I am asked by 4x4 garotas when you are returning. I think they want to give you a laxative and sell tickets. It may be that a korean finger suppository would stop any leakage, though. You know who to ask.

I hope this story isn't the first in a series, or it isn't an attempt for you gradually come "out of the closet". Still, it was really funny, viado, but funny.

When in Rio, one should never trust a fart-Brasil-ism 101

Deeg, if you would get your (now) non cherry ass on a plane and pay us a visit, you wouldn't have to worry about wayward korean fingers poking your nether regions.......

From the guy who threw you a tripla wifey recovery festa...and an 8 on one for an hour special birthday festa....!

All you guys are hilarious!! And here I thought I the site was only about sex. It's a F**king comdedy central. DG description prostrate & hernia was classic, are you a comedy writer in hollywood?

Last night, my Korean shiatzu professional called. "You come after 9 - be my rast custumor. I miss you". Against my better judgement, I paid her a visit.

Was I apprehensive? Who wouldn't be? This was the same woman who only a few short weeks ago had deflated my homophobic male ego... by puncturing my sphincter valve with her finger.

She ushered me into the same room as last time. Alarmed, I requested another room. "This nice room! Why you no like?" Sounding as shrill and psychotic as George Costanza, I erupted "I said I want another room!". My mind wandered to that episode where George became aroused when a male masseur touched him. Shuddering, I overcame the flight urge. I realized that I had to go through with this - if only to prove my absolute heterosexuality.

Lowering myself face first onto the table, I carefully spread the terricloth towel over my tush. "No need to tempt her" I thought. Awaiting my Asian Anal Assasins' arrival, I lay there motionless, biding my time, determined to stave off any flashbacks to the bestial act she had inflicted upon my bunghole only a few short weeks ago. As the doorknob turned, it was if time stood still. Striding into the room, she whisked the towel from me, giggling while chiding "Why you shy today?"

The massage was every bit as good as always, however I was too distressed about the direction of the pending 'happy ending' to fully appreciate her talents as she smoothed over my rough edges beneath her facile feet.

When her uncomprimising shiatzu concluded, I immediately sprung into action. Stepping down from my lower back, her feet hadn't even made it to the floor before I had flipped over on my back! "You really ready for some fun!" she cried. I lied there, eyes furtively darting back and forth, determined to regain my self-respect, if not that of my peers.

Latching onto my little DeeG, the solemn rite began. By her capable hands it was mere seconds before I was ready to detonate. Just as I was thinking "he little ArseBandit hasn't even tried anything!", the palm that was pawing my gonads moved south as her finger began pulsing my A spot. (Not to be confused with anus, the A spot refers to the region between the sack and sphincter). Crossing my legs, I clenched my ass cheeks tighter than Phylis Diller's cheeks after a botox treatment. There was NO WAY IN HELL this cute little ButtPirate was getting even a so much as a toothpick up there, let alone her finger.

Picking up the pace, she thrust me to climax. While spewing my manmilk about the room, her finger moved from the A spot to a lower destination. Clenching my teeth and my ass at the same time, I did my best to thwart this unwelcomed intrusion. My mind raced 20 years ahead. There I was, a hardened pervert, approaching every cute little 20 year old to somehow rectally violate me so I could acheive an assgasm. Sitting upright like a corpse climbing out of a casket, "Nooooooo!" I screamed, both to this futuristic DG and my present companion who was attempting to lead me down that treacherous path. Startled by my bloodcurling cry, both of her hands stopped as I fell back on the padded table.

Uncrossing my legs, I glared at her and everything she represented. I had made my choice. My way was clear.

My ass is mine.

There will be no bungtonguing in my future.

I may never regain my analvirginity, butt I can rebuild my dignity.

With the horrific memories of her savagery now behind me, that episode will no longer rear it's ugly head to taunt me.

DonGringo

DG - Fantastic report. "You spewed your manmilk about the room"? Do you have a backlog? Hurry down here to Rio buddy GCL and the gang miss you. - Hemp

From what I have been told, the a-spot is not what you described, the perenium.

Try this link:
http://www.talksexwithsue.com/Aspot.html
also lots of other good information here.

I guess you won't let the girls in the Eden Club strap on a dildo and do you either? The prostate is a wonderful thing!

It may be called the a-spot on a man.
On a woman, it's called taint.

It taint pussy and it taint ass.

RJ

Guess who I ran into at the supermarket today?

The AsianAnalAssassin.

Greeting me with a big hug and a "Where you been?", and one hand resting on the small of my back, my turdcutter was clamped so tightly shut that it hurt.

Taking a step backward, her hand fell from my waist. My poor shitter breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Tersely I replied "I've been out of town a lot lately".

"You come back to see us. I have a new girl. She velly nice!"

I'm debating whether to drop $90 to see if this girl can keep her fingers to herself.

More to follow...

Are you secretly hoping you'll find out she CAN'T? Sheesh, life must be really boring without Gleice around.

The praise has been heaped a plenty in this thread but that was a materpiece of prose Senior Gringo. That made my night.
I had a couple of girls attempt a similar maneuver (and I saw that great scene in Road Trip) and relax as I tried I just could not go there. She must have been quite a pro to turn the tables on your ass like that.

God, that was funny. I must have missed it the first time around.

DG, glad to her things, uh, ended up well.

Jesusu christ. Stop the madness. Do not let this thread continue... PLEASE GOD

It might stop if DeeG doesn't post any more adventures--BTW, Deeg, who won that debate about betting the $90, and which side were you betting on?

It is good to know that beneath his obsessive hedonism, SOG is a religious man who uses prayer to achieve lofty goals.

"It may be called the a-spot on a man.
On a woman, it's called taint.
It taint pussy and it taint ass."

I've heard that spot referred to as either the "gooch" or the "grundle".

"Jesusu christ. Stop the madness. Do not let this thread continue... PLEASE GOD"

AND EXACTLY WHERE are you, SOG, when Epi is deflowering a cherry girl? I recall no such disparaging remarks from you on HIS thread.

Is the outright theft of the virginity of any orifice somehow more 'noble' when it is performed by a cunning gringo while in relentless pursuit of a cherry girl? Because I can ASSure you, I felt my loss every bit as much as did Epi's victim.

I'm feeling discriminated against. Used. Somehow cheapened. Even now, I STILL awaken in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat, frightened and alone, my sphincter aching with remorse.

I may never trust again...

Yeah SOG, where WERE you when I was stealing those precious, virginal ass-petals from that brown flower?!?!

DeeG

Perhaps because I'm taking cherryGIRL ass, not speaking of someone taking cherryBOY ass it falls below the radar and is only considered aberrant and not outright repulsive.

Actually, I'm packing about third of the meat you are so, to be perfectly honest, she probably didn't notice my dick in her ass - unlike that jumbo mushroom-head your tender star did not-so-willingly accept that fateful day...

E

In recognition of the one-year anniversary of the event that forever changed me, I have decided to revisit this shiatzu establishment, and to do so tomorrow.

Those of you who are religious might say a little prayer for me at 3 pm EST.

Hesitantly
DeeG

Deeg
Thanks for the photo !!
I'll be unable to hold down solid food for a week.
I've been meaning to diet but could not summon up the willpower. This pic is going on my refrigerator now. An instant appetite depressor.

What were you thinking allowing her to even come close to your goodies?

I'll pray for you, but we also have to pray for her.

Hope everything comes out OK (and goes in OK, too).

DeeG if I seen that woman comin at me with a finger in the air I would FUCKIN PASS OUT!. Hemp

In what is perhaps the best irony of all, I went to this establishment today and learned the following:

1. The asiananalassassin who inflicted woe on my tale last year no longer works there.

2. The new staff no longer performs 'extra' services!

The world is finally becoming a better place.

DG First a gray pube, and now this?

You write "taking a fold of skin from the junction where the scrotum meets the asscrack, she lifted my nutsack skyward and like a puppy gnawing on a chewtoy, shook it from side to side"

I've never had this experience - hell I've never even heard of it. What is this technique called anyways?

After a weekend of strenuous exercise, the frame was pretty worn and weary so I stopped by the local shiatsu joint after work today.

After paying my tab I was led to the lockers where things got off to such a fine start...

an aging asian assisted me by removing my clothes from me and neatly hanging them in my locker.

after 15 minutes in the steam room it was off to the body shampoo station, where this long-lived yet lovely lass lavished my every nook and cranny with a little loofa and a whole lotta love.

emerging squeaky clean I was then escorted to a room for my 45 minute massage. I sensed that my masseuse may have had a tuff day as she pounded my personage beneath her. It didn't matter that I was groaning and wailing. She seemed impervious to my pain - an omen of what was yet to come.

When the time for my 'happy ending' finally arrived, was I ever glad for the change of pace... With a deft hand she firmly grasped and began manipulating the equipment.

"You like don't you?" followed by "Oh he happy to see me now" were here only comments as she worked one hand up top while the other worked the twins over.

Taking a break from her assault, she paused long enough to state "You take care of me for this right?". Much to my chagrin, I confided in her that I had neglected to visit the ATM machine and only had $30 to my name - a paultry gratuity at best - the sum of which made the smile immediately run from her wrinkled face.

With her hand clenched ever so tightly around my shlong, she pounded her fist on my groin while insisting "Why you do that? You good crient!? You know how much!?!"

Fearing that she might cause lasting damage to my urinary tract if she punctuated any more sentences with her fist around the pisspump, I began to sit up, planning to leave. "It's all i have with me today"

"Baaaahhhhh!" She cried, removing her deathgrip long enough to push me back down onto the table, as if signalling her tacit consent to our negotiations for a 'happy ending' for a mere 30 bucks.

No one deserved what happened next. Grabbing my yogurt applicator in her left hand, she shoved her right hand down between my legs, making a BEELINE for my ass. Before you could say "NO inmate deserves this", her unlubed finger found my clean and incredibly dry puckhole and sought entry.

"This is regoddamndiculous" I thought to myself! With one hand she's flailing away on my pecker at 180 rpms while proceeding to violently poke her finger in my pooper.

My cries of "AHHH NOOOO OOOWWWWWWW" only made her madder as I rolled on my side to make her stop. I couldn't believe it! I was floored that a paid professional was doing this to me!

TO MY COMPLETE AMAZEMENT - SHE DIDN'T STOP! Here I'm yelling and trying to get away from her and she's STILL trying to jerk me off and puncture my sphincter! Leaping to my feet, i instinctively positioned my back against the wall as I grabbed a towel and headed for the door.

"What wrong baby? I too rough for you?" she asked.

At that moment all I wanted was to be let out of that cell with what was left of my dignity. Shaken I stammered "I go now" as I made a dash for the lockers.

Hearing the commotion the manager appeared, demanding that we "KEEP QUIET so other guests not hear!!" Immediately my masseuse/assassin began jabbering in Korean, telling her god only knows what as I flung my locker door open and grabbed my Levi's, never once turning my back on that crazy bitch. I was in those jeans faster than I EVER took 'em offa my ass, or offa any hot tail for that matter.

Throwing my shirt on as I stepped into my shoes, the manager dismissed my assailant and turned her attention to me saying "So sorry. You good client. She having bad day. You come back again. You like much better next time. Ask for me - Kim. I give you discount!"

Looking back over my shoulder as I left, I muttered 'yeah, sure' as I left and walked gingerly to the car.

Remind me never to book a trip to Korea.

Remember that definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcum....?

What is it with your ass and Korean women anyway??

You got some kind of "Crazy Korean" magnet down there or something?

did ya give her the $30?

$30 poorly spent. Sandman is right...what possessed you to revisit the scene of the crime? If I were a psychologist I'd suggest you were, in fact, seeking out exactly what you received.

Next time, try sealing the rear door with duct tape before you arrive.

I still say he needs to learn to love his prostate. I guide girl's fingers to the inner sanctum. Hmmm, speaking of the inner sanctum, Tulip is about to open, so I should be scooting on down Sukhumvit.

Muraski, keep Tulip humming until I arrive! It's 30degrees here in DC, six days to go...

Hey MoreSake:

THanks for the tip. Aside from my annual physical, I'm making every effort to make sure my prostate remains 'untouched by human hands'.

Someday when the well runs dry I may change my mind. When that time comes, is is comforting to know that so many asian women have a thing for my gland.

(Message edited by DonGringo on December 05, 2006)

Guys, be careful out there...you never know when there may be a hidden camera, or just when you might turn up in a pic on the internet.

I have just run across what appears to be extremely incriminating physical evidence of the truth of DG's stories. Of course, seeing as I've never met him, I suppose there is some miniscule chance that this is not actually him. You decide.

Egads Ejack- that's just wrong.

Still, after all the hidden cameras I've deployed to document my escapades it was only a matter of time before one of my ladies did the same to me.

I should write a post about having laser hair removal done on my ass - it's really rather fetching.

And to answer Sandman's question, no I did not leave her $30.

(Message edited by DonGringo on December 07, 2006)

I was speaking with DG's ex last week - she's at 4x4 now, with brown hair and looking pretty damn good - and even she was talking about wanting to stick something up DGs ass if she ever sees him again. She seemed a bit more hostile than the Korean masseuses, though.

Ya cheap bastard.

Cat-ya got me ROTF with that one. I can jst imagine what she would do with it after she got it there too!...Hooooo, hooooo! OUCH!

Guess DG can't show his mug in 4X4 for a while but if any of you ever run across her, she is a hottie!

Sandman,

Sweet, Giblet and I were walking in the door to 4x4 and I saw her walking up the street. I didn't recognize her at first - the hair is short and light brown - but I knew she was a GdP so I held the door open for her. I later saw her blond pal you know so well - the ex-Luomo girl - and she's at 4x4 working with DG's ex. Then, I saw DG's ex.

How old is she now, around 31-32 or so? Her body's as hot as ever but she is just starting to show a little age in the face. Still, tall thin girls with nice tits are always in demand.

saw her yesterday and today at 4x4. send's kisses to DG and sandman.

Other than the vegence BJ I got by the pool at DG's birthday party I never did get with her. I felt so used that day.

(Message edited by knockkneedman on December 09, 2006)

"Other than the vegence BJ I got by the pool at DG's birthday party I never did get with her"

After all i did for that woman, to think that she would've blown a stranger at my festa...

I may never trust again.

Sweet. I can just imagine what kind of kisses she was sending.....LOL!

As of today she (and friend) have moved from 4x4 to Monte Carlo.

Her pal always liked it up the bung but DG's ex was a little more refined. I was surprised to see her at 4x4, but there's been a big move of termas garotas from L down to 65 and 4x4.

I imagine they'll both be happier at MC.

If anyone has a recent picture of 'the ex' and would care to share it?

After retiring two years ago this month, I'm feeling a bit out of the loop, and could use a reminder from 'the good ol' days'.

It's not like the girl has a mean streak or anything - you dogged her and in response she certainly whapped you in the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and put you out in the kennel - but I wouldn't post anything that could anyone in trouble with this girl.

I would think that if pictures of her would remind you of "the good ol' days", maybe some pictures of your hernia would do the same?

I have some Fernanda videos if those would help.

"After retiring two years ago this month..."

Uh, Deeg, what does that mean? Please clarify.

Cat
Just wondering if anyone had a recent pic. That's all! That woman had a timeless body, no doubt a tribute to her Amazonian genetics.

More sake
I discontinued my monthly trips to Brazil in 3/05, and haven't been travelling or hobbying much to speak of since then. Shame too - I was really hoping to visit the Eden Club w/ya before I die. I just hope they don't have any Koreans working there with thick knuckles

Whoa, stop the presses! Don Gringo hasn't been to Brazil in two years, AND hasn't been traveling anywhere else AND has basically quit the hobby?

I just fell out of my chair reading this. I'm in shock. Dude, what's up? Say it ain't so. I thought the finalization of the divorce would free you up to pursue life's pleasures to their fullest extent. Do you have plans to resume life with us in the near future?

Man, this is like the pope renouncing Catholicism.

(And on a side note, I need to find new girls to play with my prostate, as I haven't been to the Eden in many years now. Quality just wasn't up to snuff there.)

DG: As noted, Murasaki's days visiting the Eden Club may be over. They wore it out.

(Message edited by LAguy on March 09, 2007)

LOL... haven't renounced anything - just taking a break. With well over 50 trips since 2001 and a hernia to show for it? This gringo has been enjoying the change of pace.

And as for 'pursuing life's pleasures to the fullest extent'? I can assure that I have been doing so, albeit in a somewhat different manner than before.

"different manner"?

I hear Deeg's taking Korean lessons...starting with using fingers to count.

As in "One up" "Two up" "Whole damn fist up!"

In spite of losing my virginity there three years ago, a recent sports injury plus my regular "professional" massuese being away on vacation has me seriously considering returning to the scene of the crime for a stimulating shiatsu tomorrow.

And as for SFHombre's suggestion that I'm studying greek with my korean? I can now relate to Sampson, the only other person of noble intent who was slain by the jawbone of an ass.

(Message edited by DonGringo on June 05, 2007)

I love these excuses you're coming up with to justify your return. Face it, you secretly desire it. It's been burning a "hole" in your psyche, so to speak. I await with 'bated breath to see what the result is of your reunion tour with the Prostate Prussian.

I for one am happy for DG that he is finally going back to get the "Murasaki Eden Club treatment" albeit on a different continent.

Good luck, and if things go wrong and your bunghole suffers permanent injury, just remember the word "pampers."

As the six year anniversary of this tragic event approaches, I found myself in this part of town on business. While there I noticed the massage parlor had a new name. What's more, there were no more Koreans to be seen - the women are now Vietnamese.

Intrigued by this development, I strolled in and was greeted by a woman somewhat closer in age to my own than I'd care for, but attractive nonetheless. She welcomed me with a cheerfull 'hello' and an outstretched hand. I felt her slender gracefull fingers and marvelled at her diminutive knuckles as my rectum subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief.

The rates and services appear the same. 'Should I give it another try? How bad can it be?' I wondered as I left to go to meet a nearby client. Hmmmmm...

to be continued...

DG please let this memory DIE. Do you really think the CH members care about your prostrate? I don't for sure! Continued happiness with your Gringa you Bastard! Live from Panama. - Hemp

Go for it, DeeG. Just be sure to get pictures and send them to Hemp.

Alternatively, you could join me in AC in a couple of weeks...

The temptation still lingers, six years on. Give in, Deeg. Succumb to your deepest, repressed desires.

You've got to kick that football, Charlie Brown...

You scaredy cats are missing a lot of pleasure. My best blowjobs have cum from girls who know how to play the prostate. The best was a Pattaya soapy girl with tiny hands and four magical fingers.

Update: There's a new asian spa in town that advertises 'all inclusive - never a tip'.

Heavy sigh...

Are they referring to the tip of the finger that surprised and delighted you that fateful day?

Deeg, how do we interpret the sigh? Not knowing anything about your current status, are you perchance expressing regret over a perceived inability to partake in said spa's newness in town?

Are you... dare I express this horrific thought... out of service?

Saki, I just spent the past year in a committed relationship. It was really cool until it ended. Although she was a very lovely woman who met my needs, for a variety of reasons I had to let her go.

Now that I'm 'footloose and fancy free' again, I can once again partake and enjoy the hobby.

The sigh? Well... let's just say that new asian spa prides itself on massaging 'more than meets the eye' - thus the heavy sigh...

Well kudos to you for trying. Committed usually means monogamous, an impossibility for me. But I admire those who can deal with it.

Well since you are footloose and fancy free, maybe you can get a little adventurous and let some Asian spa employee's digit do a little walking? Live on the edge man.