Having recently taken the clippers to my unit, I was feeling pretty good about presenting the package to his next recipient. We all know that a true gentleman NEVER presents an unshorn ballbag to his lady. And my nads were shining like a new penny.

The festivities had gotten off to a good start. The boat party was attended by 3 other couples, and everyone was getting loose. The booze was flowing as freely as the athletic blondes' hair as it cascaded down her taught shoulders.

As the evening progressed, the dirty dancing contest had encouraged my member to stand up and pay attention to what was before me. Grabbing my garota by the hand, it was off to the forward stateroom to minister to my bishops needs.

As my trunks fell to the floor, two things sprung from my suit:

1. DeeG Junior, and
2. A horrifically unwelcomed guest

Spellbound, I stared back down once again to see if my eyes had deceived me? Nope. There it was, just as plain as day.

My first gray pube.

Standing tall and proud, he towered above the rest of my neatly trimmed forest. "How could this happen to me??" I thought. Like a tall oak growing in an orchard, he waved gently in the salty breeze.

Apparently I hadn't paid very close attention when trimming the thicket, but he was there, and I was crestfallen. Even with her shlurping my shlomungus, I was inconsolable. Within no time flat my boner was gone and there she was, desperately inhaling my spaghetti like little Lady from Lady and the Tramp. Only I wasn't meeting her lips. It simply was not to be.

"What's up?" she asked with one eyebrow raised and her feminine capabilities on the line.

"Look - do you see that?" I gasped.

"Oh look - he's so cute!" she giggled. "You have a gray hair!"

Falling back onto the bunk, I lay there helpless. My mind raced to guys like Wallstreet who will likely never know that he has a gray pube since he waxes regularly. I considered dying my loins - is this done? I mean, sure, I have a few gray hairs up top, but I always thought they gave me "character". But gray pubes?? Uggh...

Which brings me to this question: If growing old gracefully is possible, how does one handle this?

My pickle has never perplexed me like this before.

Sadly, I remain yours truly, and in a decaying package
DeeG

I think gray hair is in the genes. It does not have to mean you are getting old. So don't worry.

I think it means you are getting old and tired. Hang it up.

I dont have any grey pubes btw.

If it makes you feel any better, Fernanda mentioned that your ass hairs are gray.

On second thought, maybe she was thinking of Ablissman and meant to say "that asshole's hair is gray".

I'm sure it was one of those two choices.

DeeG, I feel your pain. Although I don't have any gray pube hairs, some of my chest hairs are gray.

Last summer in Rio, my local friend Vera fixed me up with (I thought) a non-pro she knew who spoke some English--Vera was using her as a guide for her clients. We talked on the phone and arranged a date to go to the beach the next day.

Suddenly, I got self-conscious about displaying my gray chest hairs at the beach with a 20-year old regular (I thought) garota. So I plucked them out--all 25 of them. Alas, it did not affect my fate with her. She couldn't make the beach, we had coffee late, and as conversation ebbed (what do you talk about with a 20-year old garota you've just met who speaks a little English when you're close to thrice her age?), she asked "Do you want to go to Help?"

At that point, I knew my friend had been deceived about the true nature of her translator. So I suggested we just go up to my apartment and make out, and we did. The coloring of my short hairs would never have been an issue, real-ly.

Although it would appear your involuntary containment is not as painful a deprivation as it has seemed at times, DeeG, I do sincerely hope you can escape Rio soon for some therapy that removes gray hairs.

And thank God it wasn't your other unwelcome guest making an untimely appearance. Would she have thought THAT was cute?

Look at it this way: it's better than finding a grey pube on HER !!

Hey buddy. I feel very qualified to respond to your delima since I have many of the little buggers on my chest and nether regions. Trust me, the chicks dig em......! Like to play with them, single them out, gently tug on their individual stalks and occasionally pull one out that is getting gnarley....Ouch, with a small stab of pain, made only more pleasurable with the ensuing session....... Mark the day buddy, it will be the first of many.....!

I hope it was the unit on the left.

After reading the posts for the last day, I now realize that my problems pale in comparison to the dilemma faced by Bammer. For this reason, I am closing this thread so we can all focus on his pickle. Let's help this poor bastard understand our hobby 'afore he quits the board and never returns'.

DeeGwhoisashamedtohavecomplainedaboutagraypube

you can get it up with gray pubes chicks love it most young guys come to quick and cant satisfy a garota

one time I was getting it on with a girl that I met through a friend. We are both 40 years old. She had really big breasts but when the lights came on I saw her pubic hair was mostly white. It was so disgusting. It reminded me of grandma. I had to get rid of her

Nick,

So you're saying the "cuffs and the collar" didn't match, or was she totally gray? Just asking....

Jag

DG,

Unfortunately, my first gray pube appeared almost fifteen years ago and I handled it about as well as you.

I plan on doing an expose in my next report, which will be entitled "Transitions," covering this timely topic.

It is my sincere hope that I can handle it in as delicate and sensitive a manner as I do most other subjects. I hope to capture the anguish and frustration we all feel with our aging bodies and how those younger than us have a tendency to taunt us older guys. Maybe they don't taunt you yet, but just wait.

Good to see you back on the board; you were sorely missed.

Take care my friend,

Jag

"I handled it about as well as you"--Jag--you got rid of yourself?

I had a related situation a couple of years ago in Rio. My landlady fixed me up with a regular girl, 20 yo, and I made a date to go to the beach with her. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized I had a little problem, and proceeded to pull out all my white chest hairs (about 25 or 30) with a tweezers. Not too painful to my body, but my pride....

As it turned out, we didn't go to the beach, and she turned out to be just another hooker (and a good one!).

Hunterman,

You have all the luck. If I pulled them out like you did, I would wind up with nothing but infected ingrown hairs.

Take care my friend,

Jag

You guys kill me. You think they give a shit if ya got a gray hair or two on your chest when ya got green in your wallet? Go smooth or use a little Just For Men if ya gotta but don't think for a second it bothers them one way or another!

Well, that's why I was pissed that I had tortured myself for nothing when I found out she was just a Help girl (unbeknownst to my landlady), not a proper regular girl that I might have to impress with whatever charm and good looks I might have, which would be improved upon by pulling the greys.

When I'm paying, I'll usually shave and shower, but that's about as far as I'll go. Of course you're right, Sandman--only the green has to look good.