I have been reading a few of the posts since recently joining.I have noticed a lot of the guys seem to be lasting with the girls for up to an hour.Personally its hard to imagine going even close to lasting that long without shooting a load.

My question is can anyone give me any advice on techniques or methods(that actually works) in contolling your "goza"?Any one ever have any experience with being a "minute man" and overcoming it(no pun)?

Try trojan extended pleasure condoms with viagra.You won't be able to feel your unit but it will help with any such problems.
Putanero

Eve2002
You need to reach a plateau to avoid being a 1 min man. To reach plateau, you need some foreplay, good bj and frenching, get the girl excited about session. I have lasted any time from 1 min to 40 min, never 1 min with great foreplay, never 40 min without any foreplay.
For the long run, you need to start exercising your kegel muscle. That's the muscle you use to stop pissing. During sex if you squeeze it regularly, it will push back the climax arrival. You go to the gym to get in shape, same thing for your kegel muscle except no one mentions it because it affects your sex life.
One other important thing is to breathe slowly during sex to lower your heart rate.
If you still have this early ejaculation problem, you may need to practice by yourself jerking off.

You are talking about a very common, solveable problem. See for instance, anything by Masters & Johnson on this topic.

I think some of it is genetic, but most of it is basically a choice, a learnable skill, and a state of mind.

I've always been able to go for long periods of time. Soy un toro! There were times (bareback, years ago) when I had to worry about loosin' it too soon. But if I got too close, I simply took a break (perhaps staying inside her, but not pumpin' away).

If you get too close, too soon, you simply need to stop for awhile, before you lose it. Women sometimes are confused if you stop for awhile, but when they understand what you are up to, they are generally cool with it. After awhile, once your body settles into the sex, you pretty much have control over when you blow... If you've been loosing it within the first minute, you may not know that this relaxed, controlled state is possible. "Sensate focus" is a technique, not too far from what Athos is talking about, which gets you into that relaxed state by going slow and not focusing too exclusively on penetration.

When I was in college, I went for 10 hours once non-stop, and we were both sore as hell and thoroughly chafed after that. This was not as glamorous as it sounds. My problem is that it is sometimes difficult to blow even when I want to, especially if I'm wearing a freakin' condom.

There's other stuff you can do. You can jack off several hours before you have sex. The more frequently you blow your load, the less of a problem this becomes. That will lower your overall level of sensitivity when ya do the big sloppy. You can have a glass of yer favorite alcoholic beverage, too. Your best bet is to fully relax (e.g., meditate) and take a break if you feel like you are gonna lose it prematurely.

An unsuccessful strategy for many is to try to distract yourself. Masters and Johnson (sex researchers) claim that that increases the chance that you'll simply lose your erection. I dunno about the desensitizing creams, but my guess is that they're bullshit.

Get yourself *mentally* to the point that you are relaxed and have control over when you want to blow.

There might be some stuff about premature ejaculation on the WWW. Keep in mind that this is very common and treatable. The rewards of increasing your staying power are enormous. That's true in the Zona Norte, where many girls toss away the lube and go on their own power once they realize that they can rely on you for stimulation.

I think that finding a favorita who's cool with all this and visiting her regularly could actually be a relatively inexpensive way to increase your staying power and skill. Sex therapists and psychologists will charge you an arm and a leg to deal with this! (LOL). Better to read up on premature ejaculation, then try stuff out with your favorita on repeat visits. You might find that once you've established a routine with her (and even gotten a little bored with her), that your relaxation and staying power increases.

I should add that although prostitution is illegal in California and most of the US, many states have legal "sexual surrogates". They essentially provide you sex to help you overcome your problems with sex and intimacy. They emphatically state that they are different than prostitutes. See, e.g, the following site.

http://www.sexualhealth.com/questions/read.cfm?ID=301

But basically, they provide you legal sex (for an enormous fee). This is documented to be an excellent treatment for staying power/premature ejaculation issues. But it kind've begs the question: why not simply find a good hooker to help you with this stuff?

Easy.

1) jerk off first
2) use extra thick condoms

put a lot hot salsa on it

I haven't tried the desensitizing creams or condoms, but a friend of mine did and said they worked...too well for him. He enjoyed the sex less because of it.

My guess, though, is that it's probably different for everyone and that for some guys they'll actually enjoy the sex more because there lasting longer and maybe even have a stronger climax.

But like Athos and Dogster suggest, in the long term your best bet is to gain gain control, either mentally relaxation or physically through a strong kegel or a combination of both.

I still have copies of past mens and fitness magazines in the closet, I'll look through them and try to provide more information on the Kegel route. I myself never had the dedication to do the exercises regularly, but I do remember them being easy to do.

I can last for hours, and I believe this is the result of kegal exercises I have been doing since my teens, except I did not know I was excercising kegal muscles.

I read the following exercise in a book when I was young. When you masturbate, you rub my penis as whatever way you usually do. As you come close to shooting, however, you must make your best effort not to shoot the load without stopping your hand. By trying not to shoot, you would naturally be tightening your kegal muscles. I read, this exercise would make men sexually strong.

If you extend this technique, you could actually learn to "cum" without shooting the load. I mean, you could feel sensations of having an orgasm without ejaculating (although it is slighly less satisfaying than cuming with ejaculations). To achieve this, you must coordinate the following two. (1) slow down your hand movement, without stopping it. (2) tighten your kegal muscles very hard.

When I posted this technique at gppays board, there were at least two guys who understood what I was saying, so evidently I am not the only one who has learned to do this. Tantric sex may have a similar technique to the above, and may call it "going the other way".

errrr

A sentence in the second paragraph should read "When you masturbate, you rub your penis as whatever way you usually do."

(I originally wrote the method using the first person.)

Yeah Byron,

I picked up on that "my penis", but just thought the post was for Milkman.

Why didn't I find out about this aboutforty years ago.

Benwhocumscumscumsrapido

Hey Ben, you are a pioneer in the male multi-orgasm technique (for guys over 50, heheheh).. Of course in our twenties we could blow a load or 2 and not miss a stroke then keep on pumping..

I too, use the kegal technique to suppress the blowing of the wad.. Great thing is the more times ya reach the peak but hold back when you really shoot I mean you REALLY shoot and the sensation is multipied many times over the quick first impulse let it go type hum drum cum...

I actually found that I would come MORE quickly because I was so comfortable with my last girlfriend...while mongering, nerves and the newness of the experience tend to make things last longer...

Viagra also makes you last forever (at least in my experience)...

By actually concentrating on the physical sensation, you can help slow down your ejaculation...it's usually the IDEA of what we're doing, as much, if not more so than the actual sensation that gets us off...

To flex your kegels just tighten your asshole or use the same muscle you would use to cut off your stream of piss...you can do repeated "repetitions" of this off and on throughout the day and alternate with a few extended squeezes where you flex the muscle and hold it...it helps with control and also helps you have more powerful orgasms...

Hope these few tips help...

Ben,

Maybe, all those young chicas you fucked last forty years liked you, because you cum rapido...

Like Altogringo said, thirty years ago I could cum and just keep on going and cum again.

Now I have to wait fifteen or eighteen minutes before I fuck her again.

You are right about one thing Byron. When I look down at some young beautiful slender latina who is just out of high school,looks like a cheerleader and she has her legs wrapped around be, moaning and saying "mas, mas" I just cum.

I am just funny that way.


Give me S, Give me an E, Give me a X, Give me a O
What do you have? SEXO!!!


Benwholovecheerleaders

I have a question that involves several topics on this board, mixed up together. I'd like experienced mongers' opinions on a thorny matter.

Why am I not interested in sex with women I've already had sex with?



Seriously, it works like THIS with me ... and it's getting more so, as I get older. I'm currently mid-thirties, fairly fit. I have a girlfriend who's pretty hot-looking, who lives in a different city. She visits on weekends sometimes.

I like this system.

Anyway, so she came down last weekend and we balled away like we are wont to do. But thing is (and I'm letting you all know because I love you) I can get it up for her, and can bang away for like umpteen hours, and I'm delighted to go down on her and get her off, but I JUST CAN'T GET OFF WITH HER. I've never been a quick-cum anyway -- neither blowjob nor coitus necessarily gets me to the "point of no return" easily.

I do'nt have any complaints. It's just that, I NEVER get this type of no-response with women I've never fucked before, or even with women I'm paying. I could saunter over to the other side of town right now, and plow a cheap hooker and get off in five minutes.

But with my girlfriend, it seems that the whole "desire to cuddle with her" response -- and I do care for her, love her company, all that touchy-feely stuff -- is in DIRECT OPPOSITION to the "desire to cum inside / on / all over her".

Is this warped, or just damned obvious, or cause for concern? I'm not really worried -- my "virility" is intact psychologically, because I bang away at her for as long as she wants. As soon as I withdraw, tho', there's usually little chance of revival unless we (GF and I) wait a while. Not the case with providers.

Any thoughts? I've tried the drugs, and haven't experienced reliable results -- viagra just gives me a headache, and then as much or as little of a hard-on as previously, except it's harder. When it goes flaccid, it drops from a harder state, but it still drops right down to nothing.

So I'm pretty sure it's that ol' "direct link between love and lust" that men have, and women too, although women try like hell to deny it.

I hate to tell you this but you are getting older.

I also think your best sex with most women is usually the first few times (psychological) as the anticipation is so great and the realization that you are finally inside this hot chic for the first time is quite exciting.

The solution is to just keep finding new girls.

Sound like you are a fairly normal man sex wise (immature).

Ask Dogster what he thinks? If nothing else he will probably show you a cool graph.

Heh, the "getting older" thing is, of course, part of the equation, I'm sure. But the funny part about being able to BANG the hell out of her for three hours, but NOT WANT (psychologically) to finish for myself, was more what I was asking about. I dunno ... it's just a strange new involuntary behavior and I'm not sure how to respond to it ... kinda like getting hiccups for the first time in your life. More, perplexing than anything else.

I'm not sure it's as much a factor of age as of psychology. I think Ben's on the mark. Your thought processes must be different when you're fucking strange pussy vs familiar pussy. I would try to examine your thought processes in the two different situations, and see how they're different. Pay attention to what you're thinking when you fuck your GF - what specific thoughts are going through your mind? Try thinking something else, concentrating on other things. Think dirty thoughts (like Ben), whatever. Pretend she's someone else, imagine doing nastier things with her, etc.

I've noticed this kind of thing myself - that is, my mind wandering all over the place when I'm fucking - and it's not conducive to reaching orgasm. I'll try to think of something other than fucking if I don't want to cum too fast. I'll reverse the process if time's running out and I'm not there yet. You know, like when you don't want to get a hard on, you try to imagine your dead grandmother rotting in her grave or some such nonsense. Just reverse the process... ;-)

Good luck,

MrBill

the answer to this question is in the genes. it is instinctive in the male of any specis to impregnate as many females as possible. that is why there is less urge for completion with a regular GF. Unless of course, the male senses that the regular sex partner has been with a different male. The shape of the penis is such that tends to extract the existing semem from the other male and to leave your own in the best position for conception. This is also part of the reason that some guys like to have their gf done by other guys. It increases their desire and sense of urgency.Hey Happyboy do you think that this is why some people don't like to use condoms??????? No they are not trying to get their partner pg. Its just the psychology of the act!!!!!!!!! BTW it is the some for women.

Hey, maybe it all has to do with condoms and sensitivity. If you are wearing condoms with your girlfriend (safe sex and all), but not with the many newfound providers you are cramming your dripping naked bone into, that could explain everything.

Bull_Winkle
(not his real fake vasectomy scar)

Nah. I think the psychology of it (and definitely NOT the evolutionary biology) is most interesting of all the theories. What I was getting at was more of the link between "want to cuddle" and "don't want to orgasm", than anything else. I hate cuddling with providers, no matter how hot they are or how good the BBBJ was, or is going to be. Strange, no?

So, one thing I don't understand about these boards (not specifically CH any more than any of a number of other monger boards) is the vaunted GFE. I DO indeed want DFK with my provider -- I like having my tongue stimulated that way. But I DON'T want after-wards cuddling, as explained above. I just don't understand that need, or desire, at all. To each his own, I guess.

I'm to the point now, of beginning to admit to myself that I am honestly entirely a non-monogamous person. I don't know what that means about the possibility of having children in the future -- I kinda think they ought to be raised by a stable two-parent household, I guess -- but having kids was never a priority for me anyway. I just don't like the idea of growing into a crotchety, pissed off old man who can't get the hot pussy he wants because he's "ornery" all the time. Kinda like a guy who decides he's really gay, the "present" is probably a sense of coming home, but the "future" seems nebulous.

I guess it's just as nebulous for someone living a more traditional lifestyle, though, so it's not like non-traditional choices somehow change much.

The biology helps to explain, and to understand the psychology.

"I'm to the point now, of beginning to admit to myself that I am honestly entirely a non-monogamous person. I don't know what that means about the possibility of having children in the future -- I kinda think they ought to be raised by a stable two-parent household, I guess -- but having kids was never a priority for me anyway. I just don't like the idea of growing into a crotchety, pissed off old man who can't get the hot pussy he wants because he's "ornery" all the time."

Well put. I can relate. I'd really like to have a lifelong monogomous friendship with the woman I love, with frequent mongering vacations as well. I think that somehow violates a few laws of physics, dammit.

The quote from book guy was very interesting to me as I am old, will maybe just older than most on this board.

In my opinion being single or married is not what makes you a "cortchety, pissed off old man"

Your attitude toward life is something which you must personally work at and improve both mentally and physically. It is hard work.

As many get older, they just retire from life.

"As many get older, they just retire from life"
Ben, that is profound. I'm wondering if a book of your memoirs might not sell millions? A glossy photo-style coffee table book? With pictures of all the girls you've loved before? Or would that be just another spanish version of "Teen"?

I want to be Ben when I grow up.

Ben... how old do they retire from life..?

"The biology helps to explain, and to understand the psychology." Definitely. But the pseudo-biology ensconced in speculative evolutionary-psychology doesn't necessarily elucidate the biology at all. I don't object to scientific understandings ... I object to the mock-science of historical speculation in the absence of hard evidence.

I hardly find it "mock-science" to think that generally as you get older your sexual prowess gets weaker both physically and mentally.

In fact, I put my money where my mouth is by owning 500 shares of Pfizer and may buy another 500 shares tomorrow. Thank you Viagra

Perhaps I just miss the point of your eloquent post???

benwhoisoldandconfused

"I hardly find it "mock-science" to think that generally as you get older your sexual prowess gets weaker both physically and mentally." Oh yeah, that much I totally agree with.

I was objecting to evolutionary-psychology as a branch of science. I think it's too fuzzy, too speculative. So discussions like, "it is instinctive in the male of any specis to impregnate as many females as possible. that is why ..." etc. melt in the ear, not in the mind.

I'm sure there are a few shreds of truth in there, but the thing is, speculators have been able to create "scientific" arguments that juuuust happen to fulfill exactly their cultural expectations in every generation. The cultural expectation changes, the "science" changes. Example: Victorian phrenologists "scientifically" proved that Black humans were dumber than Whites. Obviously, we don't believe that any more. So, how to weed the good science from the bad? By making sure not to put too much stock in anything that can only be proven by speculation and anecdotal evidence -- such as, 99.999% of evolutionary-psychology.

You are right.

Very good point.

But why to black men have bigger dicks than white men?

Also, why do Asian men have such little dicks?

Why do people from Florida get to have more fun in Cuba?

Pelvic floor muscle exercises fight impotence -- same overall improvement as Viagra.

Fri Jul 11, 7:01 PM ET

FRIDAY, July 11 (HealthDayNews) -- Pelvic floor muscle exercises can help restore erectile function in men, says a British study.

The study by researchers at the University of the West of England in Bristol found men with erectile dysfunction who did pelvic floor exercises had the same overall improvement as men in a large trial of Viagra.

The pelvic floor is made up of layers of muscle and other tissues.

This study included 55 men, average age 59, who had experienced erectile dysfunction for six months or longer. The men were given five weekly sessions of pelvic floor exercises and did daily home exercises. They were assessed at three and six months.


Link/URL... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=97&u=/hsn/20030711/hl_hsn/workingouttofightimpotence&printer=1

the same muscle you use to delay from peeying is the muscle that you use to prevent from ejaculating early. so if you sitting down at the computer or watching TV you can squeze that muscle for 3 seconds and than relax it and do it repeatedly you can strengthen that muscle. so when you about to ejaculate you can tense that muscle and that will prevent from cumming.

Ben
Floridians are to Cuba as Californians are to TJ.
The only difference is that you can DRIVE to TJ anytime.
Not to worry however - I'm working on my raft in my garage as we speak. When the next full moon, high tide and calm seas coincide, I will sail the Florida Straights. I hope Fidel will offer me amnesty from the sexual persecution I am forced to endure from this Gringa dominated society.