I usually get beat up by the long airline flight and the worst is the jetlag. Then there is the young women who seem to have all this energy jumping up and down on me.

What is a good routine to get in shape right before a trip? 40-60 minute runs everyday for 3 months? diet? Concentrate on cardio? Weight loss? Muscle building? Strength? SUperdose vitamins? Sunbathing?

What do you think mongers? What helps you?

Are you invading Afghanistan or going mongering? Short of 3 months of boot camp, I would suggest first making sure you have the best seat you can get on the plane. If you plan on dropping a sleeping pill and not moving for 10 hours, then grab a window seat, some eye shades and some noise-canceling headphones and they'll wake you when you land.

If it's more about jet lag, personally for anything less than 6 hours I don't have any, but my body clock died out years ago. Even in the US I keep late hours and have no set sleep patterns. However, if you're like the guy I used to work with from Boston who claimed the jet lag was screwing him up when he went with me to St. Louis - all of one hour behind - I have a couple of suggestions. One, board the plane as tired as can be. If it leaves at 8:00 PM at night, then that morning get up at like 5:00 AM. Bring lots of reading material and as soon as you board, plan for some naps. Read through the meal service, then break out the eyeshades and other gear. Drop an Ambien or something if you need it, wear comfortable clothes, and you should sleep at least marginally. Get up as often as necessary, then right back to sleep. If you don't feel sleepy read until you are.

I generally am never tired when I first land somewhere - too much shit going on. While I can sleep 6 hours on a 9 hour flight, it's never the best sleep, even in business or first class. However, try not to sleep as soon as you get to where you're going. Have some food, drink lots of fluids, that sort of thing. If you landed in the evening with a 9-10 hour time difference, just a few hours sleep on the plane will keep you going way past midnight. Basically keep going until you are really tired, then sleep - but only for 3-4 hours. Try and get up at a reasonable hour in the morning, and go about your day. Take another nap in the afternoon, and by that night you should start to get back pretty much on schedule.

That's what I used to do when I routinely made 6-12 hour time switches on almost a monthly basis. The first day was usually cool but I needed a nap on the afternoon of the second day. Of course, multiple times, I would get off of a 12-hour flight and go right into a day of meetings. On three occasions I stayed going for over 30 hours with just a brief nap of an hour or two on the plane.

Bottom line is, you're on vacation, and if you feel tired, just go to sleep. If not, stay up. If you're in a top mongering spot like Rio or AC or Pattaya or Bangkok, the action is almost 24x7 so regardless of when you're up, there's something to do. If you're just going for a few days then just suck it up and nap and then get caught up on sleep when you get home. But if you're traveling far enough for serious jetlag, then you're most likely going for a week or two minimum, and "wasting" an afternoon or evening sleeping in won't cost you much mongering time.

The top thing that hits me is really jet lag. If it were not for jet lag, then the trips would be far more enjoyable. I've had fevers, stomachaches and overall weird feeling when the lag hits me.

Then there is the bacteria in these foreign destinations that is not normally found in the western world...that can really get me sick at times.

I guess my post is more about how not to get sick and fatigued rather then getting into shape. Im thinking that with some long runs out in the sun I can boost my immune system before the trip and increase cardio.

The exercise wouldnt just be for the trip though. In honesty, I could stand to lose 10-15 lbs...

No secrets. Eat well (i.e., swear off fast food; lots of veggies and fruits but adequate protein) and get some exercise every day (walk, run, bike...something that gets your heart rate up and breaks a good sweat). Do a 1000 pelvic thrusts a day, but not at the gym

I start drinking heavily several weeks in advance to help build up my tolerance to alcohol.

If you have trouble with swelling of your feet from airplane rides watch your salt intake 3 days before your flight and do not drink sodas or alcohol on the flight.
If you are sport fucking, then by all means get in shape. I always set a goal of of running 3 miles before I go. I run 4 days a week about a half hour each session. This is nothing compared to morning and night sessions in Rio that last more than 30 minutes.
Rio is the best place to lose weight in the world. You forget about eating and workout twice a day, everyday. I have lost 7 pounds in 11 days before. hehehe.

I don't know, Rio has some pretty good food. I believe I would gain some serious weight if I hung around there to much. I can not imagine how the locals manage to remain in good shape with all that good food around.

I love the food of Rio but when I am there all I can think about is getting laid. An actual conversation between me and my wingman. Me-"When is the last time we ate?" Wingman-"I can't remember. I think it's been over 14 hours" Me-"You want to go straight to Help or get a bite" Wingman-"Let's go to Help". We had opened to closed 4 by 4 that day and I think I drank 8 guarana sodas there. We actually did go to Eclipse and eat pizza before we went to Help. But just the idea of forgetting about food is funny considering most Americans schedule their days around eating. I love Rio.

I follow a variation of I am Sancho's regimen. I begin drinking mass qauntities of alcohol in about the same time frame he does and also begin jerking off 8-10 times a day to get the old huevos in tip top shape.

Seems to be the only fitness required to score repeatedly in most locales. Don't need to train for a marathon. No one is running away from you so all that running goes to waste.

8-10 times a day of jerking is impressive especially when drinking massive amounts of alcohol. Thats borderline penis abuse. Do you wear a wifebeater for mood enhancement. lol.

8-10 times represents slowing down from my usual pace. Perhaps due to the alcohol as you point out.

BTW
I just got this huge check from a dead Nigerian distant cousin I never knew. If you send me a cashier's check for 10 grand ( postage and handling) I'll split it with you!! :-)

The massive amounts of alcohol must be to relieve the pain of the resulting carpal tunnel syndrome.

"8-10 times a day of jerking is impressive especially when drinking massive amounts of alcohol. Thats borderline penis abuse. Do you wear a wifebeater for mood enhancement. lol."

now thats funny...thanks richerich...a spark of the ole days around here..

you mean there is food outside of Luomos? Fuck.