Bwana Dik’s Rio Guide 2006:

A Guide to the Good Life in Rio de Janeiro

Sixth Edition

©Bwana Dik/Perverts R Us Publishers, 2006. All rights reserved. Feel free to copy and distribute, but if you meet me in Rio and liked this guide, buy me a beer (or better yet, a piece of ass).

Dedicated to:

Don Gringo. The Don is dead. Long live the Don!

And to all my partners in crime, who shall remain anonymous (since they all paid their blackmail fees). See you in Rio soon.

Introduction................................................................................................ 4

Preparing for the Trip:................................................................................... 4

Passport and Visa:..................................................................................... 4

Language:................................................................................................ 5

Time:...................................................................................................... 5

When to Visit:........................................................................................... 6

Weather:................................................................................................. 6

Electricity:............................................................................................... 6

Finding Your Way:...................................................................................... 7

Welcome to Rio !.......................................................................................... 7

Arriving in Rio:........................................................................................... 7

Airport Taxis:............................................................................................ 7

Hotels, Apartments, and Where to Stay:........................................................ 8

Getting Around:......................................................................................... 9

Money Matters:....................................................................................... 10

Tipping:.................................................................................................. 12

Safety:.................................................................................................. 12

Staying in Touch:..................................................................................... 13

Enjoying Rio:........................................................................................... 14

Guide Services:........................................................................................ 14

The Women............................................................................................... 16

The Termas............................................................................................. 16

Termas Basics:..................................................................................... 16

The Termas Tour: The “Majors”.................................................................. 19

“Segunda Divisão” Budget Termas:.............................................................. 26

“Terceira Divisão” Brothels/Massage Parlors:.................................................. 28

The Night Clubs (Boites)............................................................................ 29

Help Discoteca......................................................................................... 30

Vila Mimosa............................................................................................. 32

The Street.............................................................................................. 33

Amateurs................................................................................................ 33

Daytime Options....................................................................................... 34

Escort Agencies....................................................................................... 35

Motels...................................................................................................... 37

Photography.............................................................................................. 39

Some Thoughts on Money............................................................................ 40

Some Thoughts on Discretion........................................................................ 41

Gifts for Garotas......................................................................................... 42

Rio for “Pão Duros:” A Cheapskate’s Guide....................................................... 43

Dining in Rio............................................................................................... 45

Bwana’s Top Fifteen................................................................................. 45

Along the Beach:..................................................................................... 46

Feijoada--Brasil’s National Dish:.................................................................. 46

Bars with Great Snacks:............................................................................ 46

Salads and Light Meals:............................................................................. 46

Por Kilo:................................................................................................. 46

Juices:................................................................................................... 46

Sweets and Baked Goods:.......................................................................... 47

Ice Cream:.............................................................................................. 47

Shopping in Rio........................................................................................... 47

Entertainment (the other kind)...................................................................... 48

Dance clubs:........................................................................................... 48

Live Music:............................................................................................. 48

Health Issues............................................................................................. 49

Sexually transmitted diseases:.................................................................... 49

Nuisance illnesses:................................................................................... 49

Medication:............................................................................................. 49

Can I drink the water?............................................................................... 50

Odds and Ends......................................................................................... 50

Vitamin V:............................................................................................ 50

Vitamin “Ci”:......................................................................................... 50

Condoms:............................................................................................ 50

Further Readings......................................................................................... 51

General:................................................................................................. 51

Language:.............................................................................................. 51

Enough, Already!........................................................................................ 52

List of Consular Jurisdictions in the United States.............................................. 53

Key Metric Conversions (approx.)................................................................... 55

Bwana’s Quick Guide to Rio........................................................................... 56

Termas (1=1^st Division, 2=2^nd Division).......................................................... 56

Boites (w/Garotas for “Take-Out”)............................................................... 56

Escort Services........................................................................................ 57

Motels.................................................................................................... 57

Hotel and Apartment Reservations.................................................................. 58

Introduction

Rio de Janeiro … Cidade Maravilhosa! Rio is certainly one of the most picturesque cities in the world; some call it God’s gift to the picture postcard industry. Rio is also one of the largest cities in the world, with nearly 12 million people calling the metropolitan area in and around Rio “home.” Rio is as diverse and as vibrant as it is large, and one can spend years here without exhausting the opportunities for discovery.

I've received lots of "can you tell me" email about how and where to have fun in Rio over the years, so I thought I'd just condense all the info I have into one guide. I recently returned from a 7-month, so will try to update the info that is generally available on the web. I will try to update this guide annually. Hopefully this information will be as useful. There are a few new sections, and other sections are expanded and/or updated, including information on two new termas!.

One caveat … this is my own take on Rio. Not everyone shares the same tastes and interests, so–as the saying goes–YMMV. I hope you find this useful. If there are topics not addressed here that you’d like to see more on, let me know and I’ll do what I can next time. This is a work in progress.

Here it goes:

Preparing for the Trip:

Passport and Visa:

Yes, you need a passport (someone actually asked that question on one of the boards); and you also need a visa to enter Brasil from the US. If you’re not a US citizen, you may or may not need a visa … check with the Brasilian embassy in your country. The visa must be acquired before coming to Brasil. After acquiring the visa you must enter Brasil within 90 days for the visa to be validated, and the visa, typically, is good for multiple entries for five years. Make sure you request a 5 year tourist visa, as some guys have ended up with shorter ones (90 days) and paid the same fee. It seems that this has especially been a problem at the Houston and Miami consulates.

Since mid-2002 the fee increased from $45 to $65 and then to $100 (in 2003) if getting it in person at one of the consulates. Why the increases, and why is it so high in the first place? The fee is set to mirror what the US charges Brasilians for a visa. When we jack up our fees, they jack up theirs. The fees are somewhat higher if you do the transaction by mail ($10), and each consulate seems to have slightly different rules regarding how long it takes, whether they will accept (or will only accept) mail applications, and so forth. Check with the Brasilian Embassy website and look under “consular services” for more information (contact information for all of the consular offices appears in an appendix here). Follow the instructions carefully, as personnel at many of the consulates are rather rigid. Generally, you’ll need a passport that won’t expire in the near future, a round-trip plane ticket, a completed application form (with photos), and the $$. Check with your consular office on acceptable forms of payment. The NY consulate, for example, only accepts US Postal Service money orders. And DO NOT do as a friend of mine did and show up at the airport without the visa. He was stranded in Chicago for two days trying to get the visa and straighten out his flight and hotel reservations.

Once you have your passport and visa, make a photocopy of the ID page of your passport and the page with the Brasilian visa stamp, and carry this with you at all times while in Brasil. You are required by law to carry ID with you at all times, and Brasilian police will give you a difficult time if you don’t have proper ID, and they may not accept anything other than a copy of your passport and visa as proper ID.

Language:

No, they don’t speak Spanish in Brasil. Brasil was settled by Portugal, and Portuguese is the “lingua franca.” If you speak Spanish you’ll find that many Brasilians will understand it reasonably well, but you may have problems understanding Portuguese. There are many sounds in Portuguese that do not occur in Spanish, but not vice versa. English is not widely spoken in Brasil. Take some time to learn the basics of Portuguese and you will have a much better time. I prefer the Pimsleur Brasilian Portuguese CD sets (three sets, I, II & III); they are not cheap, but they are effective. If you want a quicker introduction to the basic conversational necessities, try Pimsleur’s Instant Conversation Course (cassette or CD). Discount dealers can be found (try http://bigredgarage.com). You can also occasionally find used sets through places like Ebay, and you may be able to download mp3 files of these materials from the usual sources.

There is a wonderful little volume titled “Hot! International: Love and Sex in Seven Languages” by David Appell that includes Portuguese and covers anything you might want to ask of your special friends in Rio. I know of no other dictionary or guidebook that offers translations for “sit on my cock” or “I want to fuck your ass.” Unfortunately, it is out of print, and the publisher is no longer in business. Every so often a copy will appear on Ebay. Keep an eye out for it. The girls love it. Lately, however, used copies have been selling for as much as $225!

I’ve listed some additional language learning resources under “Further Readings” at the end of this guide for those who want to delve a bit deeper into the language.

Time:

The time difference between Rio and where you’re coming from will vary across the year. Technically, it’s –3 GMT, but changes to –2GMT during daylight savings time (NB: DST in Brasil doesn’t coincide with DST in the US). Here’s a web site that will give you the current time in Rio and many other major cities:

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock

You can also construct your own “Personal World Clock” using this site, featuring the time in the cities you frequent.

When to Visit:

When is the best time to come to Rio? Today! Failing that, tomorrow. That old saying about the beach—“the worst day at the beach beats the best day at work”—is true of Rio. In terms of Rio’s weather, see the section below.

Peak tourist season falls during Brasil’s summer, especially from mid-December until mid-February. You can expect hotels, apartments, and possibly flights to be significantly more expensive during this period, but it’s still a great time for a visit. I actually prefer the spring and fall months (especially October-November and April-May), as the crowds thin a bit, prices are more reasonable, yet the weather is still great and there are more than enough women to go around.

The absolute peak times for many visitors, however, are New Year’s Eve and Carnaval. Rio hosts the world’s largest New Year’s Eve party, Réveillon, on the beach in Copacabana. This is an event every traveler should try to experience at least once. Throngs of white-clad celebrants enjoy an amazing fireworks display, and many among the crowd place offerings on the sands to Iemanjá, the African Goddess of the Waters. Last year’s Réveillon had an estimated 2 million partygoers celebrating on the beach in Copacabana.

Carnaval is an institution that needs no introduction. Like Réveillon, prices in Rio skyrocket around the time of Carnaval, and many hotels and apartments require a one-week minimum stay at exorbitant prices. Carnaval is something that must be experienced, at least once. There’s a saying, “there’s no such thing as sin below the equator,” and that certainly appears to be true during Carnaval. The city turns into a massive party, beginning about a week before the official start of the holiday as the neighborhood “bandas” and “blocos” take to the streets. Old timers decry the recent commercialization of Carnaval, especially since the parade of “samba schools” was moved from the streets of Centro to the more sterile and decidedly more expensive Sambódromo, but it is still great fun and a feast for the senses. The crowds in town can become a bit overwhelming, and restaurants and bars are always overcrowded, but there’s samba and sex in the air everywhere! Carnaval in Rio officially begins the Saturday before Ash Wednesday and runs for four days. Carnaval 2006 runs from February 25-28. To find the dates of Carnaval in future years, see http://www.worldsamba.org/Carnaval/body_carnaval.html

Weather:

Rio’s summer runs from late November through early March, and this is both the hottest and wettest (rainfall) time of year. Winter runs from June through August and is the driest period. Temperatures can get quite warm in summer, but rarely terribly cool in winter. There are often very nice beach days in winter, but you can hit a cold spell as well. July, despite being in the middle of winter, can be nice because the universities are out of session for most of the month, so many college girls come to Rio to play. A good historical data on monthly average temperatures, rainfall, and such can be found at Weatherbase: (http://www.weatherbase.com/). Check out today’s weather (and see what your missing) at http://www.weather.com

Electricity:

Yes, they have it … intermittently! Just kidding, sort of. A couple of years ago Brasil was experiencing serious power grid problems, with rationing and occasional brownouts and blackouts, but everything seems to be fine now. The Rio standard is 110 volts (some hotels will have 220v outlets as well), and while the standard outlet is two round pins, most hotels have outlets that accommodate both the round and flat blade (US) plugs. Still, it’s not a bad idea to pick up plug adapter, especially if you’re staying in an older hotel or an apartment.

Finding Your Way:

A good map is a necessity. I like the one put out by Berndtson and Berndtson in their “B&B City Streets” series. It’s a laminated map so you can write on it with an erasable marker, and it includes the Metro system. You may be able to find (or order) it at larger bookstores (I grabbed a copy at Barnes and Noble in NYC), or you can track it down at http://www.mapmyway.com. You might also find a guidebook of some use. Nothing very elaborate is needed, and I like Frommer’s Portable Rio de Janeiro. But seriously, the guide you are reading now is all you really need!

Welcome to Rio !

Arriving in Rio:

There are two airports in Rio: an international airport (Galeão) and a domestic one (Santos Dumont). Most likely, you'll arrive at the international airport (at the Antonio Carlos Jobim Terminal), which is a good distance from the places in Rio where you'll want to make your home. After exiting your plane you’ll first go through immigration. Beginning in January of 2004 Brasil began a practice of fingerprinting and photographing, on a somewhat random basis, all Americans entering the country. This policy was in response to the US decision to do the same with many foreigners (including Brasilians) entering the US. Some days the fingerprinting/photo process is used and other days it is not. Clearing immigrations, however, can be a time-consuming process. Be patient; you’ll be in a termas soon enough!

Airport Taxis:

After passing through immigration, getting your luggage, and clearing customs (usually hassle-free) you'll head out to get a taxi. When you exit customs, guys wearing quasi-official looking uniforms trying to get a taxi for you may accost you. Do NOT take them up on their offers. Despite their uniforms, they are scam artists and will charge you at least double the highest rate you should pay.

Instead, you have two options. The cheaper of the two is to go directly ahead and outdoors and look for a metered cab (a yellow cab with meter). You may have to walk a ways to your right or left to find one. A metered cab ride to Copacabana should run you between $32-$40 reais (all amounts in Brasil's currency, the Real, unless otherwise noted). These cabs may or may not be air conditioned (and can charge extra for aircon), and the driver will likely not speak a word of English. However, if you bring a sheet of paper with your hotel's name and address, you should be fine. I've only had a couple of cabbies in Rio try to cheat me (with rigged meters), but I also speak some Portuguese and know my way around the town.

The other option, as you exit customs, is to look for the "radio cab" booths. You'll see a line of 4-5 booths ("Coopertramo" etc) with women trying to get your attention. Here you'll pre-pay for an air conditioned “radio taxi” cab to your destination but pay more (about $52 R one way); they will initially ask for more, so always ask for a discount (“tem desconto?”) or start to walk away and the price will come down. The advantage: guaranteed air conditioning and no haggling over the fare. Also, you can pay in dollars here and get a fair exchange, but you risk being ripped off if you try to pay with dollars with a metered cab. BTW, there are banks at the airport where you can exchange currency, including one by the baggage carousels and a couple outside of customs, but the rate is not very good (but better than you’ll get at your local bank at home). Take note that if you arrive on a holiday (they have lots of them in Brasil; see http://www.holidayfestival.com/Brazil.ht ml for a current listing)) or a Sunday, exchanging money may be a big problem. More on currency exchange later.

Hotels, Apartments, and Where to Stay:

Copacabana Beach is ground zero for the nightlife action, and many prefer to stay somewhere in that area. A good source for information on hotels in Rio is http://ipanema.com/. They provide information on hotels and often offer discounts when booking through them. Other choices for booking hotels include Don and the gang at Amerioca Tours (http://www.amerioca.net) or Bobby at http://www.blameitonrio4travel.com.

Probably the most popular Copa hotel these days is the Princess Copacabana, a very nice new hotel with larger and more modern rooms (apartments and suites) and a nice swimming pool. They are “guest-friendly.” but sometimes charge 60 Reais per night that you have a guest. A very nice hotel that has received less attention is the Portinari Design Hotel. Each of the 12 floors were designed by a different decorator, and feature many amenities found in much more expensive hotels. Yes, they are guest-friendly. Another popular, and less expensive, hotel is the Atlântico Copacabana. This hotel is located across from the Siqueira Campos metro station, and just a few blocks from the two main termas in Copacabana. Rooms are decent, and there are no guest fees charged. Two hotels popular with some mongers on more of a budget, located in the Copa neighborhood, are the Hotel Debret and the Rio Roiss Hotel. Both are within a couple blocks of the Help Discoteca (more later). Both are fairly small, basic hotels. The Debret is slightly less expensive (and the rooms somewhat shabbier), but you can get a room with a full ocean view. The oceanfront rooms on the top floors are pretty nice. The Rio Roiss has only a few rooms with partial ocean views (it's a block off the beach, behind the Othon Palace Hotel), but the rooms are larger and the breakfast is better. Both allow "guests" but will charge you about $15-20 (US) per night (the prices seem to change for all the hotels that charge them). I’m not particularly fond of either of these hotels, but they are well-located.

Some of the bigger hotels, such as the Othon Palace and the Sofitel, charge much more for guests, and others won't allow guests. The newer JW Marriott allows guests but insists that customers be discreet when arriving with their guests, and rooms start at around $200 US. Other hotels, such as the Luxor Regente, will allow guests if you pay the double rate or pay a per night fee. If you have questions about a specific hotel, just ask about their "guest policy" when you make reservations. They won't be shocked when you ask, and you can avoid a rude surprise later.

Renting an apartment is another option. While you may do without maid service and food service, there are no problems (or costs) with guests. If you are interested in an apartment, check the aforementioned websites or contact Don or Rhonda at Amerioca Tours (Amerioca@hotmail.com). Kenn at EZ-RioRentals (http://www.ez-riorentals.com) also has a stock of apartments available and provides a variety of other services to hobbyists. Most apartments have security guards and are quite safe. I also highly recommend Don’s guide services for new visitors to Rio who would like a little assistance during their first visits. More on this later.

Another option is to stay a bit further away. I actually prefer to stay in the Ipanema area. I find Copacabana to be a bit touristy and dirty. The Copa beach is often overcrowded and polluted, and overrun with scam artists. Most robberies I know of occur in the Copa area (after all, that's where the tourists congregate). Ipanema is a more upscale community, the beaches are nicer, there's less crime, and it's still very close to the Copa nightlife … just a $4-5 reais cab ride or a 20 minute walk. There are many hotels and apartments to choose from. A fellow I met on the plane back to the US swears by the Ipanema Inn … says it's basic and inexpensive, but clean, and does not charge for guests. Another option is the Arpoador Inn, on the beach and guest-friendly … again, no charge for guests. The Arpoador Inn is one of only two hotels in Rio (the other being the Sheraton) located right on the beach. It’s my usual choice even though it is fairly basic and has become a bit pricey for the oceanfront rooms. The Ipanema Tower Residence is a very nice option. All rooms are “suite” arrangements with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, etc., and the hotel is guest-friendly, with no guest charges. Further down Ipanema (actually in Leblon) is the Marina Palace Hotel, more upscale and also more expensive, but guest-friendly and it has an excellent restaurant. Further out yet is the Sheraton—the other Rio hotel located on the beach—which some guys like but which I find too removed from the real Rio. The Promenade chain, which owns the Princess Copacabana Hotel mentioned above, also has several properties in Ipanema and Leblon (the far end of Ipanema). You can view these options on their website: http://www.promenade.com.br

My experience has been that you will get a better price by booking through a travel agent, such as Ipanema.com, Amerioca.net, or BlameitonRio4Travel.com than you will by contacting the hotels directly or using the hotels’ web sites. For example, if you book through the Portinari Design Hotel’s web site, you’ll pay $130 (US) per night, but book through Ipanema.com and the same room is $90 (US). This is somewhat less true for the large chain hotels.

Getting Around:

Travel in Rio is pretty easy, although one can get in a bit of trouble if you end up in the wrong part of town. Cabs are the best way to travel. Always use yellow cabs unless you choose to take a radio cab to and from the airport (there are some white metered cabs that charge a rate about twice that of the yellow cabs). It's about $3.30 to get in the cab, and the distance charges are quite reasonable. Fares are slightly higher on Sundays, evenings after 9, and holidays. Always check to make sure the cabbie is using the meter and ask him/her to if he/she starts off without it. The most common tourist rip-off (or as the Rio veterans say, “tourist tax”) is the “no meter” scam. Some cabbies will try to negotiate a flat fare, which is always at least double what the meter fare would be. If a cabbie quotes you a fare when you get in the cab, point to the meter and say “metro, por favor.” If the cabbie balks, get out of the cab and flag down another. Few will speak anything but Portuguese, so if you don't, write your destinations on a piece of paper and give it to the driver. I was surprised to find how often cabbies didn't know my hotel's location or the location of the business (a major firm) I was visiting, so carrying a map is always a good idea.

Cabs are also a reasonable means of going to see some sights. If you want to take in Corcovado (the statue of Christ overlooking Rio) or Pão de Açucar (Sugarloaf), you can either arrange it with a tour company (see http://ipanema.com/ ) or just take a cab. The latter is much cheaper, but you'll have to negotiate tickets, transportation, etc., for yourself. Also note that cabbies are most likely to try to charge you a flat fee when you are going to or coming from one of the major tourist attractions.

Cabbies in Rio tend not to carry much money with them, so don’t expect them to be able to break large bills. Hoard your small bills (1s, 2s, 5s, and 10s) for use with taxis. Tipping is not expected; just round the fare up to the nearest real.

If you want to get away from Copa or Ipanema and try another beach out, I recommend Barra da Tijuca. Barra is a beautiful, wide, white sand beach about 20-25 minutes from Copa. The best way to get there is by minibus. If you stand on the main beachfront roads in Copa or Ipanema, you'll notice little minivans with cardboard destination signs passing frequently, stopping and picking up folks. These are truly "mini" vans … they cruise the beaches and other parts of town and are an alternative to taxis. The cost from Rio to Barra de Tijuca is 3 reais (it would probably be 35 via cab). Look for a van with a “Barra” sign in the front window and flag it over and ask if it's going to the beach (praia). If the sign says "Recreio" on it, it's beach-bound for sure. You can also take the vans to the shopping centers, such as Barra Shopping or Rio Sul Shopping, or to the Hard Rock Café in Barra. When you're ready to head home, you can flag down almost any minivan and ask if it's going to Copa or Ipanema. The majority are, even if the sign says Centro, Rio Sul, or something else. These minivans seem to have no shocks or seat cushioning whatsoever … your butt will get a real workout.

Another travel option for some locations you may want to visit is the Metro subway system. It’s a very clean, efficient, and safe subway system. I use it when I want to head into the Centro area to visit the museums and the termas there. There are now two Metro stations in Copacabana, at Rua Siqueira Campos (which opened in March 2003) and at Praça Cardeal Arcoverde. You can take a cab to the station and take the subway on from there. The subway costs about 4.50 reais for a "duplo" (round trip ticket) and 2.25 for a “unitario.” Ten-ride “múltiplo” tickets (“bilhete”) is available for $22.50. Eventually the subway system may extend down to Ipanema, but probably not during my lifetime. For more info on the Rio Metro system, including a map, see http://www.metrorio.com.br. This Metro line (Linha 1, or Linha Vermelha) has been unofficially renamed the “Termas Shuttle” since many of us use it to run between the Centro and Copacabana termas (see below).

Money Matters:

The real is the official unit of currency, having replaced the cruzerio in 1995. One real equals 100 centavos. Bills come in 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 real (plural is reais) denominations. You can see the currency (bills) at http://www.bancocentra.gov.br/?CEDCOMUM and the coins at http://www.bcb.gov.br/?MOEDAFAM2

The exchange rate bounces around quite a bit. In early 1996 the rate was 96 centavos to the dollar. The real began falling slowly, but steadily, against the dollar, reaching 1.2 per dollar in late 1998. The Real was allowed to float in Jan. 99 and its value plummeted. When I was in Rio in early 1999, I saw the value of my dollar jump from 1.2 to around 2 reais in a few weeks. In June 2000 I got between $1.88 and $1.93 per dollar. Later that same year (September 2002) I got as high as 3.89 per dollar, with that devaluation reflecting investor concerns over the election looming in early October. Unfortunately, by mid-2003 the rate had dropped to around 2.85 and fell further due to the combined weakening of the dollar and the strengthening of the real. The exchange rate currently sits at 2.20 (as of this revision of the Guide), the lowest it’s been since April of 2002.

Watching the exchange rate is one of the Brasilian national pastimes, and the rate appears on the front page of all major newspapers. While the exchange rate is down below its peak levels, travel in Brasil is still a great deal. You can get an estimate of what you'll get at the exchange houses at http://www.xe.com/ucc/. Another source, where you can also print out handy currency conversion cheat sheets to carry with you, is http://www.oanda.com/convert/classic.

If you are exchanging cash, rates are usually better at the currency exchange shops, called cambios, than they are at the banks. Hotels generally offer the worst rates, so don’t change money at your hotel unless it’s an emergency.

Also, you'll get a better rate for cash than for traveler's checks (unlike some other countries). If you bring cash, try to bring newer bills to avoid concerns about counterfeit currency. You can hunt around and will find different rates at different places, and the rate may vary from hour to hour (rates sometime drop in the afternoon, after the banks have closed), although those fluctuations shouldn't be too large. I found a cambio offering somewhat better rates by asking one of the girls at Help where she exchanged her dollars. The girls understand money matters well; everyone in Brasil is an amateur economist!

The cambios and banks will be closed on Sundays and holidays, and many close early on Saturdays. Bank hours are 10-4, M-F. If you arrive on either a Sunday or a holiday, you may want to try to arrange to get some Brasilian currency before you arrive, but the rates you get outside Brasil tend to be pretty poor. You can get by in a pinch by paying for a radio cab at the airport with dollars and exchanging some currency with the radio cab company, or paying for entrance at Help with dollars (see below).

The best rates are sometimes to be had using your ATM card (but, note, this has not been the case in late 2005). Most of the Boys in Brasil can be found lined up at the Citibank ATM machines located next to the Blockbuster store at Av. Nossa Senhora de Copacabana and Rua Figueireido de Magalhães (there’s another Citibank branch on Rua Visconde de Pirajá in Ipanema). Some banks also have ATMs that will work with the CIRRUS and STAR network cards, but others don’t. One big advantage of ATMs is that some are open on days when the banks and cambios are closed, so even if you are usually exchanging cash at the cambios, the ATMs at Citibank will be available should you run out of reais on a Sunday.

Speaking of money, I suggest you always try to pay the girls in reais rather than dollars, as you’ll tend to get a better price. Tell them you don’t carry US cash, only an ATM card. Or tell them you’re Canadian, that you don’t have US dollars, only that worthless Canadian stuff, and you’ll do fine. If a girl negotiates in dollars, you might want to be a bit wary of her; most will mention an amount in reais (see “Some Thoughts on Money”).

One interesting side note: an excellent rate of exchange is often offered at the termas and at Help Disco. They won't allow you to exchange money, but they will allow you to pay in US currency, give you a very good rate, and give change in reais. Help and Termas L’uomo were giving a rate of 2.40 when the cambios were giving about 2.30 and the ATMs were giving 2.20.

You will also run into folks on the street offering to give you a good exchange rate. I think it's never wise to admit to someone on the street that you're carrying money. Robberies are not uncommon in Rio, so use good judgment.

Try to collect and keep a stash of small bills. They come in handy for cabs and such.

Tipping:

Since we’re talking about money, let’s considering tipping practices. Tipping is far less common in Brasil than in the U.S. or Europe. For example, tips are not expected by taxi drivers. You may want to round up to the nearest real when paying, but you will find that the cabbies will sometimes round the fare down to the nearest real (i.e., if you give the cabbie $5 for a $4.10 fare, he is likely to give you $1 in change). In restaurants, a 10% service charge is almost always added to any bill where you’ve received table service. Many diners will leave any coins that are given in change, but there is no need for additional tipping. It is customary to proved small tips of a few reais to hotel staff for any special assistance with luggage and such. Some hotels have been adding an “optional 10% service charge” to guests’ bills. If you see this, ask them to remove the charge, as this is a total scam.

In some other places around the world, it’s customary to tip the girls after your sessions with them. Many Thai girls expect a tip above the agreed-upon price. This is NOT the case in Brasil. If a girl gives services that are exceptional, you can acknowledge this by giving her a small present or offering to pay her cab fare, but even this is unnecessary, and tips are simply not expected. At the termas (see below) you should tip the locker room attendant and possibly any waitresses who actually took drink orders and served the drinks to you, but no one else needs tipping, especially the cashiers, who will often ask for a tip (if they do so, tell them you’ll tip them when they give you a world-class blowjob!).

Safety:

Much has been said about the dangers of Rio. Most of what I’ve read is overstated, based on old information, but there are a number of precautions one should take to reduce the chance of being victimized. Rio is a very big city, and like any big city anywhere in the world that has a lot of poverty and attracts a lot of tourists, there will be some crime. Most of the violent crime occurs in parts of town you will not be likely to wander into, such as the larger favelas. Much of it also involves members of the drug gangs, so be very careful if you decide to try to purchase drugs.

There is a fair amount of petty crime in Rio directed at tourists. Most of it is of the pickpocket, mugging, and petty theft variety, but armed robberies are not uncommon. What can you do to avoid being a victim? Start by following these 10 tips:

First, simply don’t carry around anything you don’t need at the moment, and make sure you have a good grip on anything you are carrying. I almost never carry a wallet with me, and if I do, I make sure I’m wearing pants or shorts that close in a way that makes pickpocketing more difficult (buttoned or zippered pockets work fairly well). You should always carry a photocopy of your passport (the inside page with all the info), but not your actual passport. It’s a good idea to carry a card with your hotel information as well. Otherwise, carry whatever money you need for your purposes and not much more.

Second, if you’re heading to a termas or somewhere where you need cash, carry the cash somewhere where it can’t be easily grabbed (i.e., in a hidden money belt, in your socks, etc.). You may want to keep 20 reais in your pocket as potential “mugging money.”

Third, don’t wear any flashy jewelry. Leave your Rolex at home and wear your cheap Timex. The only people likely to be impressed by your jewelry are potential thieves.

Fourth, don’t leave anything on the beach unattended that you can’t live without. You’ll notice that most of the locals will bring a t-shirt, a cheap pair of sandals, and maybe a towel to the beach, and nothing else. I have a little waterproof case that I put a few reais in and keep in my pocket while I’m in the water.

Fifth, stay off the beach after dark. Lots of muggings by groups of adolescent males occur at night on the beach, especially on Copacabana. The beach looks beautiful at night, but it’s not the place you’ll want to take a romantic or relaxing walk.

Sixth, take cabs most places after dark. Cabs are dirt cheap, and a mugging will pretty much ruin your Rio experience. The later it is, the more important it is that you heed this advice. Recently a group of kids attempted to rob my friend and me as we walked the 1 1/2 blocks from Help to my apartment at 3 a.m.

Seventh, keep valuables (cash, passport, cameras) in the safe in your room, especially when you’ve brought a working girl (“garota de programa,” or “garota”) back to your room. Most are trustworthy but a minority may not be. If renting an apartment you might want to check first to see if it has a safe (ideally, one that is built in or bolted down, or heavy enough that it can’t be stolen). If not, lock valuables inside your largest suitcase in order to minimize the likelihood of their “walking off.”

Eighth, think twice about bringing more than one garota back to your hotel or apartment at one time. Several guys have been robbed when they brought two girls back to their room. While one was screwing them senseless, the other was stealing everything not locked up. Unless you know the girls, you may want to confine your duplas (sessions with two girls) to the termas.

Ninth, if you are going to be out on the streets after 1 a.m., travel with a group. The muggers look for single guys or couples. Don’t make yourself an easy target. Better yet, take a cab to your destination, even if it’s close by. This is particularly true for the area around Help Discoteca. The streets around Help become “Mugger Central” after 2:00 a.m.

Tenth, if you’re walking around town, do not talk on your cell phone, carry it in plain view, or carry any other valuables (cameras, MP3 players, etc.) in plain view. If you need to use your phone, step inside a restaurant or other public building. Thieves wander the streets looking for people (especially tourists) with phones, cameras, etc. If you must go somewhere with your camera, take a cab.

Follow these rules and you should be able to relax and enjoy the greatest show on earth. The crime situation is much worse in Copacabana than in Ipanema or Leblon, so if safety is an important consideration, you might consider staying outside of Copacabana.

Staying in Touch:

If you have even minimal competence with Portuguese, then you might want to look into renting a cell phone. You will find yourself collecting the phone numbers of many girls as well as those of the fellow hobbyists you meet. Running back and forth to the hotel to make calls is a nuisance, and the public phone system in Brasil is a bit of a pain. You’ll notice that nearly everyone in Rio is walking around with a cell phone, unless they’re on the beach. It’s a rare garota de programa who doesn’t have a cell phone. You can rent a phone for a daily rate of about $5 from Blame It on Rio 4 Travel (located on Rua Xavier da Silveira, behind the Othon Palace Hotel) or from Tudo é Facil internet café (just a few doors from Blame It on Rio 4 Travel). Some of the people who rent apartments or provide guide services, such as Don from Amerioca Tours, provide cell phones for their clients. If you’ll be hanging around Rio for an extended period, or making three or more trips to Rio a year, you might consider buying your own phone, as I have. Most phone providers, such as TIM, Claro and GO, sell phones that work with pre-paid phone time cards. The costs are quite reasonable.

By the way, you’ll have to purchase these pre-paid cards with most phones you would lease or get from a guide. You can purchase them at the phone stores or, more conveniently, at most kiosks selling magazines and newspapers.

Having your own phone allows you to store those invaluable phone numbers you collect in a safe place. These phone numbers can become valuable commodities (”I’ll trade you an Ana and a Danielle for a Thaiza and a garota to be named later”).

Internet cafes have popped up all over Rio, and most have pretty decent service. I like Tudo é Facil (Rua Xavier da Silveira, 19); access speeds are generally good, and they offer many other IT services (CD burning, inexpensive LD (VOIP) phone services, etc.). They have a 24-hour facility on Av. Prado Junior.

Enjoying Rio:

Sure, you came for the sex, but Rio has so much more to offer. In Rio you can have your cake and eat it too, so try to enjoy the sights. Among the things you must do at least once: take the train up to the top of Corcovado (where the state of “Christ the Redeemer” is located), take the cable lift up to the top of Pão de Açucar (Sugar Loaf), visit the Jardim Botãnico, take a long walk in the Tijuca Forest (which contains a rain forest and lots of interesting wildlife), watch a “futevolei” match on Ipanema Beach (no-handed volleyball), visit the "Hippie Fair" in Ipanema (Praça General Osôrio) on Sunday, watch a sunset from the Arpoador Rocks or from the top of the hill in Garota de Ipanema Park, eat feijoada on Saturday at the Casa de Feijoada in Ipanema, rent a bike and ride along the ocean on Sunday when the main beach roads are closed and all of Rio seems to take to the streets, visit a "rodizio" style churrascaria (Marius or Porcão are my favorites), visit a samba school or go to a samba show (Platforma is touristy, but the show is great), take a "favela tour" and see how many Cariocas actually live their lives, go to Maracanã (Brasil’s shrine to soccer) and watch Brasilieros pursue their national passion, visit one of the big shopping malls (Rio Sul or Barra Shopping) and watch Brasileiras pursue their national obsession. The list could go on and on. The point is you’ll actually have more fun if you dig deep and taste all that Rio has to offer.

Guide Services:

The first-time visitor can sometimes find himself overwhelmed. Rio is a huge city, and if you’re new to the scene and don’t speak the language, you can find yourself wasting a lot of precious time stumbling around, literally and figuratively lost. Many less experienced visitors find the services of a guide, specializing in the needs of hobbyists, of considerable value. What services do these guides provide? They can arrange for cell phone access. They will take you on trips to the termas and the boites? They will translate for you with the girls. They will call an escort agency for you and arrange for a girl to come to your hotel. They will take you out to dinner, or arrange dinners with the girl of your dreams. They will bail you out when you get in trouble. They will arrange a VIPS festa for you (more on this later). They will arrange for a trip for you and your new girlfriend to Buzios or some other resort for a few days. They will even arrange for you to see the non-hobbyist tourist sites, such as Corcovado.

There are a number of guides who provide some or all of these services. The guide I know personally, though, and can thus recommend with complete confidence is Don of Amerioca Tours. He can be counted on to show anyone who wants assistance a very good time. And he will (and often does) go above and beyond the call of duty. Don bailed one client out of jail when a misunderstanding with the Brasilian police landed him in the Rio clink. And Don rescued one client from a berserk garota who was threatening to tear an apartment up at 4 a.m. (Don ended up with a nice black eye). Most importantly, Don is a good guy who knows the town and will look after his clients’ interests and guarantee plenty of fun and laughter. He has many repeat clients who probably don’t require his services but return because they enjoy the camaraderie. Don can be reached by email (Riodon@gmail.com) or phone (55-21-9108-1502), and works these days with Ken, another good guy.

The Women

This is why you came to Rio … right? There are many options, so we'll take them in turn.

The Termas

Termas are a marvelous institution … they should exist everywhere. The termas is a combination spa/health club/massage facility/bar/brothel (literally, it means “bathhouse”). There are dozens of termas in Rio, and they are to be found in all major cities in Brasil (under different names). I will give some information on the ones I know best. Newbies should take not that there is no such thing as a terma (singular).

Termas Basics:

In most cases, after arriving you’ll be sent to a locker room to change into a robe and sandals. You’ll have a key to your locker that you’ll wear on a band around your wrist. Your locker number is what all charges are credited against, so bartenders will ask for the number when you order drinks and the girls may ask you to give them your key when you’ve agreed to go back for a session (“programa”) in one of the rooms. Don’t put the key in the pocket of your robe; the robes can get accidentally swapped in the shower rooms, and you don’t want to lose that key (trust me, I speak from experience on this one). One friend gave his key to a garota and then took a nap. While he was napping she charged about $50 worth of drinks to his account! Keep track of your key at all times.

After changing you can head to the shower room for a shower and sauna (advised; the cleaner you are, the more comfortable the girls will be in exploring your body) and then to the bar. When you first enter the bar area where the girls are, you might want to walk around awhile and check the talent out before taking a seat. If you see someone you want to check out closer, just say hi and ask if she wants a drink. If you sit down when you enter, you’re likely to be trapped by one of the more aggressive girls, and my experience is these girls use this tactic because they’ll get no takers otherwise. If you get trapped by a girl you’re not interested in, head off for a shower or sauna, or tell her you’re looking for a specific girl you’ve been with before (you can claim you’ve forgotten her name). They’ll get the picture.

Relax and enjoy yourself. Have a few drinks and chat with the girls. Drinks are pretty reasonable (with some exceptions, such as the ever-popular Red Bull and Whiskey), so be generous and offer girls a drink even if you don’t plan on getting to know them “up close and personal.” Eventually you’ll probably find someone who appeals to you, but don’t just rush back to the rooms for a session; take some time to get to know her. These girls can be very affectionate, and you’ll enjoy your time in the room more if you get to know your girl a bit first.

So you’ve decided on the garota of your dreams, or at least the one you’d like to spend the next 20-90 minutes getting to know better. You’ll have to decide for how long (sessions vary in length from 20 minutes (only in the low-end termas) to 90 minutes)—with the most typical options being 40 or 60 minutes—and in what kind of room (they vary from small “cabines” to very fancy suites with huge beds, whirlpool baths, etc). You can get the prices for the various options at the desk. When you’re ready to head back to the rooms, just tell her and she’ll let you know what to do. The routine varies in the different termas, so just follow her lead. Also, it’s common to experience “buyer’s remorse”—after settling on a particular garota, you’ll invariably see some stunner who will cause you to question the choice you’ve made. Get over it … there are too many beauties, and you can always come back another day. As the song says, “love the one you’re with.”

Speaking of return visits, sometimes you will find that a girl you spent time with earlier in your visit will lay claim to you. If you do not want to spend your time with her, be nice but direct and tell her you’d like to meet some of the other girls at the termas. I have never had a girl make a scene when I’ve done this. Just be friendly and polite … give her a kiss, buy her a drink, and maybe even ask her advice.

If you don’t speak Portuguese, you’ll be fine. The girls all know why you’re there, and the only things you have to decide are which girl (or girls), which room (cabine or suite) and for how long. If you do speak the language, even if just a little bit, you’ll have even more fun. I often arrive around 4:30 or earlier, in order to beat the crowds of men coming after work. Some of the termas will only have a few women around at that time, but many more will be showing up around 5:00. Between 5 and 6 is a good time to find the best selection, and, not surprisingly, the women often seem more energetic early in their work day.

Termas rules (these rules apply more generally when interacting with the working girls, or garotas de programa): Repeat after me—this is not your first trip to Rio, you will be in Rio for several weeks, and you won’t be leaving for at least another week. None of this may be true, but these are the correct answers to the invariable questions you will receive from the girls. “Is this your first time in Rio?” “How long will you be in Rio?” “When are you leaving?” You may think these questions are just an effort on the girl’s part to make polite conversation, and in a sense they are, but the girls are also sizing you up. Neophytes will be seen as someone who can potentially be taken advantage of. Newbies don’t know the ropes and may be worked for expensive drinks and underserved. The person who is staying only a few days may receive less attention and poorer service because he is less likely to be a steady customer. Similarly, the guy who says “I’m leaving tomorrow and won’t be back for a year” is begging for an unenthusiastic quickie from the girl (known by veterans as the RTF, or “Rio Tourist Fuck”). If, on the other hand, you tell the girl you’ve been in Brasil several times and will be around for awhile, she’s more likely to give her best effort in order to assure customer loyalty and repeat business (yes, from her perspective it is about business; more on this later). Only after you’ve been around awhile and know specific girls pretty well should you answer these questions truthfully.

FF Programs: An interesting innovation has been popping up among the termas over the past year: customer loyalty—or Frequent Fucker—programs. Termas 65, Solarium, and Monte Carlo all have programs in place. I wonder if I can convert some of my airline miles into termas points? Check for details at the termas. If you’re favorite termas doesn’t have a Frequent Fucker program, recommend that they join in or lose out. Most work by giving you a free entrance after five paid visits.

Promotions: Several of the termas have special promotions which can save you money on your visits. For example, if you visit the Solarium website you can sign up for the “Festa do Internauta” (Internet Party) promotion. When you register, a certificate will be emailed to you that is good for the price of admission on any Monday. The certificate is valid for two weeks, so request on just before you leave for Rio. You can also register for “Semana Maluca” (Crazy Week), and you will be sent an email notification a few days in advance of the occasional crazy weeks (discounted prices on rooms and sessions). Presently, you have to enter the Solarium website through the Portuguese language portal to register, as the promotions are not yet listed on the English site. Solarium also has a contest every Wednesday (“Quarta-feira da Sorte”): at 9:00 pm, one client’s locker number will be selected in a drawing. The winner will have all of the expenses he’s incurred up until 9:00 covered by the house, including entry, room and garota fees, massage services, and bar tab!

Termas Monte Carlo has a promotion similar to Festa do Internauta, called “Terça do Prazer” (Tuesday of Pleasure). Register on the Monte Carlo website (you can use the English section here) and you’ll be emailed a certificate covering admission for a Tuesday, good for the following 15 days.

Termas Rio Antigo and Termas L’uomo have occasional promotions which are announced on their websites. Give their sites a look just before you come to town to see if anything is happening.

Termas Festas: Some of the termas have occasional festas, or special parties, which often involve larger than usual numbers of girls and special decorations and costumes. Some of the termas post this information on their websites (Rio Antigo, 65) while others (4X4, L’uomo) post signs in advance of these parties. The Halloween parties are often great fun, and the festas at 4X4 feature as many a 180 garotas!

Paying and Prices: Your bill is paid as you leave the termas. While credit cards are accepted at most termas, in many cases you must pay the girls’ fees in cash (only 4X4, among the major termas, will allow you to charge the girls’ fees). All other charges can typically be put on your card. The charges appear on your billing statement in an innocuous form (“Harry’s Grill”). Some add an additional charge for using a credit card. Tipping the girls is not expected and in termas is generally inappropriate, but a small tip for the locker room attendant is always in good form.

With respect to prices posted in this Guide, please keep in mind that prices seem to change fairly regularly, depending on inflation, currency exchange, etc. These prices may not be exact due to these changes, but they are a good guide to what you will pay.

“Butterflying:” If you’re going to be flitting between “favoritas” at several termas, there’s something you need to know about. Eventually, there’s a very good chance your favoritas will learn about one another and your philandering. “GarotaNet” is an all-powerful, all-knowing communications/espionage network that allows the garotas to keep tabs on your whereabouts. Don’t think for a second that you can sneak off and bang that cutie at L’uomo without your regular at Solarium learning about it. You will be caught. Unlike Las Vegas, what happens in a termas does not stay in that termas.

I’ll share a brief story about the reach of GarotaNet: In January 2004, I was leaving Terraço Atlântico (more on this spot later) when my cell phone rang. I answered only to be greeted by a regular of mine who was living in Italy at the time. She just wanted me to know that she knew I was in Rio (I hadn’t told her!) and that she hoped I was having a good time but not too good of a time, and that she’d heard I’d been to a termas (I had, but how she found out I don’t know; lucky guess, I suppose). A friend of hers who had met me on a prior visit saw me at the Terraço and called her in Italy to let her know I was in town. I got a call a minute later. Moral of the story: there is no escaping the reach of GarotaNet.

This is why it may be better to admit upfront to the girls that you’re a dog (“cachorro safado”) and that you’ll be seeing various girls around town. If you take this approach, you do have to be somewhat tactful or you risk less than inspired service. Always give the girl at least the illusion that you’ll be back another time to be with her, even when telling her that you want to fuck her best friend.

The Termas Tour: The “Majors”

Termas L'uomo (Rua Siqueira Campos, 143, second level): in Copacabana, is an old favorite of mine. It was the first termas I visited, so there's a soft spot in my heart for it. It's in a little shopping/antiques mall, on the upper level facing out onto the street. The setup is like every other termas--there's a dressing room, shower and sauna area, a place to sit and relax and watch TV, a bunch of rooms (suites and cabinas) for “doing the deed,” and the bar area where most of the girls hang out. The facilities are decent, having been renovated in 2001. Prices, unfortunately, have recently risen. In late November 2005 they increased the entry fee to 60 reais (which is reduced to 50 if you have a session with a girl and 30 have two sessions), and the rest depends on type of room (cabine or suite) and length of time. A standard cabine is quite small and includes 40 minutes with the girl and now runs $200 plus $50 for entry. A suite for an hour will cost you over 300 reais total, excluding drinks. On Saturdays they have typical Brasilian food for free, and other days they have other specials. The girls are less numerous than Quatro por Quatro (4X4) or Centaurus, and more variable in quality, but the best are great, and they seem to want to work harder to please you than many other places. L’uomo sometimes has the feel of a neighborhood bar, and I think of it as my “Cheers” in Rio. Some of my most memorable termas experiences have been at L'uomo.

When you enter L'uomo you'll first go to a dressing room and change into a robe and sandals. You can then head through the bar and to the sauna area for a shower, a steam bath or sauna, etc. The bathroom has disposable toothbrushes, razors and shaving cream, etc. Next to this room is a large room with a television and chaise lounges. Here you can kick back and relax alone for a few minutes. The action takes place in the bar area. Head into the bar, grab a seat, order a drink, and watch the action. Depending on the day of the week and the time of day, between 10 and 30 girls will be working. If you see a girl who strikes your fancy, motion her over. It's really very simple. It is perfectly acceptable to talk with a number of women before settling on one. Once you find a good candidate, take a seat with her and get friendly. She'll soon likely have her tongue down your throat and her hand on your cock. Take your time, and don’t rush back to the rooms … the Brasilian women are great at foreplay and love to get close. When you do decide it's time to get to know her even better, let her know and she'll arrange the rest. Like I said, they tend to be great at their work. You can expect oral and standard sex. The oral sex may or may not be bareback (but is usually BB); while some girls propose using a condom for oral sex, most do not and it is often negotiable. Condoms are always used for standard sex. Anal sex is an option with many of the girls. After your time is up you can shower and leave, or shower and head back to the bar and have more fun. If the place isn't crowded, the girl you've been with will often be content to just sit with you and play around. It's a great way to spend an evening. You'll pay your tab when you leave.

L’uomo is open Mon-Sun. (one of only four termas open on Sunday), and they open at 4 p.m. (but it’s pretty quiet until 5:30) and close at 2 a.m. on M-F and 12 a.m. on weekends. It’s located just a block from the Siqueira Campos metro station. Their web site is http://www.luomo.com.br.

Termas Monte Carlo: Just a few blocks away is Termas Monte Carlo, also known as Club 19 (Rua Hilario de Gouveia, 19, in Copacabana). Monte Carlo is very convenient, just a block from the beach and Avenida Atlântica. It’s also just a few blocks from L’uomo, making it convenient to run from one to the other. The routine and set-up at Monte Carlo is nearly identical to L'uomo. You enter and change clothes on the ground floor, take the elevator or stairs to the showers/spa on the second (facilities are nicer than L'uomo's) and take the elevator to the club on the 3rd floor, where the girls are to be found.

Monte Carlo is the one termas I’ve been to where I find it essential to discuss your expectations with girls in advance. Specifically, I and others have had more sessions in which girls have insisted on using condoms for blow jobs (CBJ) at Monte Carlo, leading some of us to speculate that “MC” stands not for Monte Carlo but for “Mostly Covered.” In the past I had not found the girls at Monte Carlo to be as attractive on average as those at L'uomo, but that was not the case during my last two visits, and it only takes one (unless you want a "three-way", which is available at all the termas). MC always has a few stars around who will make a visit worthwhile.

Monte Carlo is open Mon.-Fri. from 3pm-2am and Sat. and Sun. from 3pm-12am. Their fees seem to be similar to those charged at L’uomo (entry is 50 reais), and they are actually owned by the same folks that run Solarium. Their web address is http://www.termasmontecarlo.com.br/.

Centaurus (Rua Canning, 44 in Ipanema) is considered by many to be the star of the termas. I have mixed feelings about the place, and rarely go there. They often have more women, and more gorgeous women, than the other termas I've been to. When Centaurus is crowded, the place really jumps. Thursday nights, for some reason, are particularly zoo-like. One the other hand, the place is poorly managed and the facilities (showers, etc.) are less well maintained than should be the case. It's also been hard to figure out the prices at Centaurus. I've had them try to charge me different amounts for the same services on different nights. When you enter Centaurus, you are generally required to leave a deposit (usually around 290 reais); this is the only termas that has such a requirement (that I've been to, at least), and it seems tacky. Tourists are charged more than locals, a practice I find offensive. If you’re a regular here these practices (advance payment and “tourist surcharge”) are dropped, and you can often talk your way out of them. It simply bothers me that they have these policies in the first place.

After you pay they may assign a girl to you to help you change into your robe, and of course she immediately wants to hook up with you. This is something I don't care for, and I always ditch the girls by telling them I'm heading to the sauna. After a shower on the ground floor you head upstairs to the bar area. There is a small room with a TV and massage tables that is often crowded with guys and girls getting friendly while watching soccer (what else!). This “relax” room is the staging area used by couples when the rooms are all full and they must wait for one to open up. The bar area is fairly large and has seating at the bar and bench seating elsewhere where it is easier to get to know the girls. There is a small stage where they have live music on some nights and where the girls do striptease routines every evening.

The great thing about Centaurus is the girls. The girls at Centaurus are on average very attractive and good at what they do. I detected more pressure to go with the more expensive "suite" option, but I suspect this is partly due to the fact that there are a limited number of cabinas, and there is often a backlog to the point that you have to cool your heels for a ½-hour or so waiting for a free one. Centaurus is clearly the most expensive of the termas I’ve visited. The 290 reais deposit will cover 40 minutes in a standard cabine ($200 for the room and girl, $70 for the entry, and a $20 “tourist tax”). If you decide to do something out of the ordinary, like take two girls with you to a suite, they may require that you go back downstairs and pay in advance, something I’ve never experienced in any of the other termas.

As you can tell, I have qualms about the place, but you’ll find few who would disagree with the claim that you’ll often (though not always) find more stunners here than anywhere else. Many of the girls at Centaurus are college students (many from one of the local Catholic colleges, and they all seem to be law students or psychology majors) and are better conversationalists than girls at the other termas. I have heard from guys who have had unsatisfactory experiences at Centaurus, though. Unfortunately, their policies have pissed me off to the point that I prefer other options and rarely visit Centaurus any longer. Centaurus is open Mon.-Fri. from 4-2 a.m. and until midnight on Sat.

Termas Solarium (Rua JJ Seabra, 21, Jardim Botânico) is another favorite, located in a nice neighborhood about 15 minutes from Copa or Ipanema. The facilities are quite nice, the location is accessible, and the girls work hard to please. Solarium is located in the Jardim Botânico neighborhood, just a couple of blocks from the Lagoa. It's a nice, safe neighborhood with some excellent restaurants in the surrounding area.

One of my favorite aspects of Solarium is their truth in advertising. Their prices are posted right on the wall as you enter, along with any daily specials. On average, entrance is 50 reais, a cabine is R$30, and the girls are R$130 for 40 minutes. It runs closer to R$280 for an hour in a suite with a Jacuzzi. Solarium has a series of promotions they run that can save you money (see “promotions” above) The management is extremely friendly and go to great lengths to make sure you have a good time. They will recommend girls if you're looking for something specific. The girls are on the whole very attractive, with a few real stunners, although fewer in number than many of the other places mentioned. The “swing nights” that used to take place on Wed. and Sun. have been moved elsewhere; probably a good thing, since most of the couples that showed were a bit on the scary side.

They are open 7 days a week: Mon. through Fri. from 3 p.m. until 2 a.m., Sat. from 3-11 p.m., and Sun. from 4-midnight. Their web site can be seen at: http://www.solarium.com.br

Quatro por Quatro, located in the Centro area (Rua Buenos Aires 44, Centro), has emerged as my favorite termas. 4x4 is an excellent termas, with loads of friendly women. It is the largest termas I’ve been to, and there always seem to be 60-100 or more women around. The management seems helpful and upfront about costs and such, which are posted in several locations. There are plenty of women available and they are of comparable quality to other termas. The place is so big that one can get lost in it.

You enter through a narrow hallway and go up a flight of stairs to the desk, where they give you a locker key. The lockers are to your right, down a half flight of stairs. After changing you can go to the showers and sauna (go back to the stairs you entered up, and go up one more level). The shower and sauna facilities are not the best, but I’m not there for the “health club” amenities. After that you can hit the bars. There are two bar areas, one on the second floor (directly across from the desk) where most of the action is (including regular strip and “shower” shows) and another large one on the third floor (the VIP lounge), which is much quieter and a good place for conversation, cuddling, and getting something to eat. The bar areas were very recently redecorated, and the owners added a cyber cafe in a room adjoining the upstairs bar.

Prices are quite reasonable: entrance is $30 reais and an hour in a suite is only $170 reais(!), and the management gives you a clear up-front indication of how much the different services cost. 4X4 offers an “early bird” special: if you take a girl to a room to do the deed before 5:00, your entry fee is waived. The basic cabine is smaller at 4x4 than at some other places, but large enough not to feel cramped. Larger and fancier suites (including some with Jacuzzis, KS beds, ceiling mirrors, and dance floors) are available at higher prices, beginning at $220 for an hour in a “super suite.”

The only downside is location: 4x4 is in Centro and thus a bit of a haul for those staying in the Zona Sul neighborhoods of Copa or Ipanema (my preferred location), although it is easily accessed via Metro (just a few blocks from the Uruguaiana station). It is, nevertheless, absolutely worth a visit. I’ve imbibed in numerous threesomes and three foursomes at Quatro X Quatro and have always had a great time. Quatro X Quatro does not have a web site. This termas is located in the center of Rio’s business district and caters to businessmen. As a consequence of its location, it is open only Monday-Friday, from 2 until midnight. One interesting aspect: I’ve noticed an inordinate number of blondes at 4X4, and one of the girls there told me they “specialize” in blondes, so if that’s a fetish of yours, this may be your termas!

Termas 65 (Rua do Rosario, 65, Centro) also has some fans, and I count myself among them. This is another termas located in the Centro business district, just a short walk from 4X4, and it primarily attracts a local business clientele. Prices are high for downtown termas: entrance is $60 (no reduction for having a session like L’uomo) and session fees start at $190 for a 40-minute session is a cabine. The folks working at the front desk are helpful and will explain the prices and options in English.

Termas 65, like 4X4, is located on several floors. Just follow the noise to the boite upstairs where you’ll find about 30-40 girls crammed into a fairly small space. During my last visit I was very impressed with the quality of the options here, and there were enough stunners to make a visit definitely worthwhile. There are other rooms where you can get something to eat and have a quieter conversation, but the action takes place in the main boite. Termas 65 has a “Frequent Fucker” program: entrance is free on your third visit within a month, but you must register for the program at the termas. Sadly, you don’t get a “Termas 65 Frequent Fucker” card to carry in your wallet.

Like the other downtown termas, Termas 65 is a midweek place: open M-F from 2 p.m. until midnight. It is located just two blocks from Quatro por Quatro. Their website can be found at http://www.termas65.com.br

Termas Aeroporto (Av. Beira Mar, 216-C, Castelo) was once a highly-regarded termas but has fallen on hard times, and has been weak for several years running. I have never found the choices attractive here. I was surprised that Termas Aeroporto is as small as it is—just a bit larger than L’uomo or Solarium)—and was not particularly impressed by the quality of the girls (although I once had great fun with a set of twins!). Recent reviews have not been very positive.

Termas history buffs may be interested in knowing the Aeroporto was the first termas opened in Rio, in September of 1977.

Like Centaurus, many of the garotas here seem to be college students, and I ran into several girls who spoke English quite well. Also like Centaurus, when you enter a girl is assigned to you to help you change into your robe and such. It is quite easy to get away from the girl, assuming you haven’t fallen instantly in lust, by heading to the saunas and showers, which are very clean. An upstairs bar is where most of the mixing takes place, but there is also a "relax" room on the first floor where many of the girls hang out. Prices are Centaurus-like: $50 reais to enter and $240 reais for an hour in a suite. Unlike Centaurus, you pay when you leave, although you may be asked to pay the entrance fee upon arrival. Aeroporto is just a few (5-6) blocks from the Cinelandia metro stop and just a door or two from the Othon Aeroporto hotel.

Like 4X4, this is primarily a businessman’s termas, being located in a business neighborhood. It is open from noon to midnight, Mon.-Fri., and is a reasonable place for an early afternoon romp.

Rio Antigo (Joaquim Silva, 2, in the Gloria neighborhood) has some fans, although I’m not among them. Prices are fairly similar to L’uomo and the set-up is fairly standard. There is a main bar area where most of the girls hang out and occasional strip shows are held. A TV room nearby is a quieter place to sit with the garota of your choice and watch soccer or the ever-present telenovela (Brasilian soap opera). The facilities (showers, sauna, and steam bath) were all recently renovated and are the nicest of any termas I’ve visited.

I have not found this termas to be as interesting as many of the others on this list, but others have told me they’ve had good experiences here. The problem has mainly been a fairly limited selection of quality girls. On my last visit there were about 40 garotas on the floor, and I didn’t find a single one do-able. One guy on the Brasilian boards opined that Vila Mimosa (see below) has a better selection of garotas! I did visit here several times in 2003 to enjoy the company of the marvelous Patricia, but she has since left Rio Antigo. It’s probably worth at least one visit. Every once in awhile a stunner wanders into the place. My favorite Solarium garota worked at Rio Antigo briefly.

Entrance here is $40, a 40 minute session will set you back $140, and expect to pay $200 for an hour in a suite. Again, because of its proximity to downtown, it is only open on weekdays, from 2 p.m. until midnight. Rio Antigo is within walking distance of the Gloria metro station. Their web site can be found at http://www.rioantigo.com.br If you can read Portuguese, enter their website through the “Portuguese” rather than English portal, as the Portuguese section has a link to special promotions that is not available on the English pages.

Bononia Termas (Rua Min. Alfredo Valadão, 36, Copa) opened in November of 2005, and is located on a side street just a block above L’uomo. Formerly a gay termas, Bononia is being run by former L’uomo staff, who are trying to give L’uomo a little competition, something very welcome given recent price increases at many of the termas, including L’uomo.

Bononia is smaller than L’uomo, with about 10 cabines and suites upstairs. A small locker room (the gay guys must have liked close quarters) opens into the boite, which is reasonably nice. The dj cranking out the music here came over from L’uomo. The sauna facilities are modest; three showers (w/ hot water) and a small steam room. Cabines and suites feature nice mattresses and are reasonably comfortable.

The talent at Bononia is, well, developing. I stopped by one afternoon and saw about 15-20 garotas on duty, about 1/3 of whom I considered doable. I expect the talent will pick up as business builds. The best news is the price: entry is $35, 40 minutes in a cabine is $135, an hour in a standard suite is $165, and an hour in a nicer suite is $200. Duplas can be had in the larger suite for $350 for an hour.

While small, if Bononia can build their talent, it will represent a great addition in the Copa area, especially given how prices have risen elsewhere.

Bononia is open Mon.-Fri. from 4-midnight and Sat.-Sun. from 3-10. They are currently offering a variety of special offers. On Mondays the cabine fee is waived until 8pm; on Tuesdays entrance is free until 8pm; on Wednesdays a cabine is raffled off at 9pm; and on Thursdays and Fridays you’ll receive two free drinks with your entrance fee. This is the type of competition Rio needs!

Cancun (Rua do Carmo, 64, Centro) also opened in November, and is a spinoff of 4X4. This new place, with a “whiskeria” next door, is a great addition to the downtown options. All facilities are brand new, and the owners have invested a fair amount in the facilities. The rooms are among the nicest in Rio, and the shower and sauna facilities are a definite step up from their sibling. The suites are especially nice, with some having both small saunas and Jacuzzis.

Cancun recruited about 50 garotas from other downtown termas, so they are off to a quick start, and I expect the numbers will grow as the client base increases. The talent level is just below that of 4X4 and 65, but that’s likely to change, especially given the prices at Cancun.

Cancun is located on a side street between Rua Buenos Aires and Rua do Rosario; in other words, just a block or two from both 4X4 and 65! That means there are 4 “first division” termas within a four-block radius in Centro, giving Centro the highest major termas density in Rio.

Prices are similar to 4X4. Entrance is 30 reais and the costs of programs range from $150 for 40 minutes in a basic (but quite nice) cabine to $350 for 90 minutes in a super-lux suite, with 60 minute sessions running between $170 and $220, depending on the features of the suite.

Cancun, like any new establishment, has some bugs that need to be addressed. The AC is working too well in many of the rooms, and guys report near-frostbite conditions in some cases. A more serious problem is that management seems to watch the clock too closely and the calls have been coming to the rooms (signaling the end of the session) a few minutes too early. Hopefully management is getting the message that this is clearly a counterproductive policy.

As with most of the other downtown termas, Cancun is open Mon.-Fri. from 2pm until midnight.

“Segunda Divisão” Budget Termas:

There are cheaper options as well. Termas Beach Girls (formerly Termas Pedagio) (corner of Rua Siqueira Campos and Rua Barata Riberio, 2nd level, Copacabana) is quite inexpensive … you can get in and out for $120 reais, but my take is you get what you pay for. The facilities are pretty gross, the girls variable but less attractive than other places, and the sex is less enthusiastic. Some guys like it because it's a good place for a little voyeurism: the girls often give the guys head in the communal steam bath. If this appeals to you, it's an option. I have not been here in years, but I peeked in during my last trip and was not impressed.

There are a number of budget termas, which the locals refer to as “segunda divisão” (second division) termas, in and around downtown, and a low-end termas tour can be great fun. In these termas you have to be patient and look a bit harder, but I’ve uncovered some real gems in these places, and the price is certainly right. Many a girl you’ll meet in the first division termas got her start in one of these second division places, although some garotas move from the first- to the second division termas when their popularity slips.

A complete rundown of these places would probably be impossible, so I’ll just mention a few. The first three are unlike those previously described, in that you will not change into a robe; rather, you enter a bar area where you will meet the girls, and after you’ve made your selection you’ll head off to the rooms for some fun.

Termas 502 is located just a block from 4X4, at the corner of Av. Rio Branco and Rua da Alfandega (Rua de Alfandega, 502, Centro). Entry is 10 reais and covers 2 beers. Twenty, 30, 40, and 60 minute sessions, in either a cabine or a suite, are available at low prices. At the time of my most recent visit (July 2005) a 20 minute program cost $77 40 minutes cost $102, and an hour cost $112. The 20 minute session is known as the “MitchC Special.” I have only visited the suites, and they are, as one would expect, not as nice as the suites in the more upscale places, but perfectly clean and comfortable. I found three real cuties in this termas.

Termas Aquarios 61 (formerly Termas 61) is in the Praça Mauá neighborhood in Centro (Rua do Acre, 61) just a few blocks from the intersection of Av. Presidente Vargas and Av. Rio Branco. It’s a bit bigger than Termas 502 and has upstairs and downstairs bars. Prices are similar to Termas 502, and there were a number of very cute girls there with whom I sessioned. One of the interesting features of this termas is that you can pay a “bar fine” ($40) and take a girl out with you for the night (I negotiated a rate of $150 for all night with the girl). Admission is $20, which includes 4 beers; 1 hour sessions are $140 and 40 minutes will cost $90.

Club 31 (Rua Alcântara Machado, 31, Centro) drops the termas pretense altogether. Located just a few blocks from Termas 61 in the Praça Mauá area, it is quite basic, and I actually never found anyone to my liking here, but I never stopped by after 6 p.m., when I heard the selection got better. Entry has been $6 (includes the beers) and prices begin at $40 for a 20 minute session They frequently have a “two-for-one” special every Wednesday evening; pay for one girl and get a second, for a “dupla,” free.

MV 30 (Rua Mairink Veiga, 30, Centro) is just a block or two from Club 30 and Termas 61, and is set up more like a typical termas but with much lower prices. I’ve had mixed success here, and prefer some of the other budget places.

Termas 21 (Rua Buenos Aires, 21, 2^nd floor, Centro) is a small place with a reasonable selection of garotas, although quality is variable. The owner of Termas 21 also owns 4X4 and Termas 502. Robes are worn here, and the cabines do have showers, but the facilities are nothing to write home about. Entry is $20 (inc. 5 beers), and sessions start at $90 for 20 minutes, and go up to $130 for an hour. Obviously the 20 minute session is not much of a deal.

Boate Flórida (Praça Mauá, 9, Centro) is a combination boate/termas. No robes here, but the girls are available for sessions on site or for take-out. Entry is $10, and on-site rates are $65 for 30 minutes and $110 for an hour. The girls here do not get commissions for drinks you buy them, so they don’t pressure you to do so. Additionally, this is a really late night spot, staying open until 5 a.m. At about midnight, many garotas who work at the other downtown termas show up her hoping to score one more session before they head home.

As with all the other downtown termas, these “segunda divisão” termas are open only on weekdays, and most are open from 2 or 3 p.m. until midnight, in most cases.

You will not find the numbers or the same quality, on average, at these low-end termas that you would find in the first division spots. Indeed, some of the girls you see are downright frightening, leaving you to wonder who in the world convinced them to take up this line of work. But you may be the one who discovers a new gem (my absolutely all-time favorite, and one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, started her career in one of these budget places), and the price is certainly right. And these girls often appreciate the attention when a group of guys roll in. One afternoon about 6 of us walked into MV 30 and the girls stood up and applauded us!

I enjoy sampling the various places, and recommend that anyone new to Rio do a Termas Tour. You can't possibly have more fun! And given that the turnover in the girls working at the termas is fairly high and constant, even the Riophile should do a Termas Tour on a regular basis. The constant turnover means that various termas rise and fall in terms of selection and quality of girls available, so a termas that’s highly rated at one point in time may not maintain its standing over the long run. That’s why you have to keep exploring.

Now that the Metro station has opened at Siqueira Campos, you can access L’uomo, Bononia, Monte Carlo, Rio Antigo, Aeroporto, Termas 65, 4X4, Cancun, and the Praça Mauá budget termas easily. Wouldn’t that be a challenge: hit all eight major termas and the six second-division termas in Centro over a seven-day period!!!

“Terceira Divisão” Brothels/Massage Parlors:

Centro, and to a lesser degree Copacabana, are populated with a vast array of tiny sex shops that one would never notice if you didn’t know exactly where to look. These places sometimes advertise in the classified sections of the local papers (O Globo and O Dia, under “massagistas” or “massagem”) but often are known primarily through word of mouth. The locals refer to them as “casas de fast-sex” or “fast fodas” (fast fucks)—good name! There are quite a few in the Cinelândia, Carioca and Uruguaiana neighborhoods in Centro. Most of these places have only a handful of girls available, along with just a few rooms. The girls are of variable quality; they generally are not as pretty as the cutest of the termas girls, but they are often just as skilled, and seem willing to work just as hard or harder for their money. Speaking of which, these places tend to be very inexpensive. Standard sessions are 20-30 minutes (with 10 minute programs available in some), and the price is usually 1 real per minute (i.e., about $13 US for a 30 minute session with the current exchange rate) give or take a few centavos. The rooms often leave something to be desired in the hygiene department, but are upscale compared to most of the facilities at a place like Vila Mimosa (see below). These places are best to hit early in the day (before noon) because they get quite busy over the lunch hour (“businessman’s specials”), and due to the volume of sessions some girls have in a day, they get a bit worn out in the afternoon. Most open at 10 a.m. Bring a towel along, as some of the places don’t seem to change the sheets!

The majority of these places are located in the upper floors of downtown businesses. Several are located on Rua Buenos Aires on the block across Av. Rio Branco from Termas 4X4. Try Rua Buenos Aires, 85 (3^rd, 4^th and 5^th floors) and 113 (2^nd floor). Nearby, on Presidente Vargas (590, room 1317) is a small fast-sex apartment that had about 8 girls when I visited. Most were “completa.” One small place that I enjoyed is located a few blocks south of Rua Buenos Aires, at Rua Ouvidor, 130, rooms 707 and 911. There were just a few girls here, but I found a keeper and had a very good 30 minute session for the price of a couple of beers in LA. At Travessa do Ouvidor, 37 (near the intersection with Rua Ouvidor, east of Av. Rio Branco) you’ll find a small putaria up one flight of stairs. Also nearby is Rua Uruguaiana, 24. Wander up the stairs and on floor 2, 3, and 4 you’ll see several doors open with girls beckoning you to come in. Closer to the Cinelândia metro station you’ll find many apartment brothels. Check out Rua Evaristo da Veiga, 47 (apartments 501, 502, 701, and 702). A few blocks away is a small place that I’ve had good luck with at Rua Santa Luzia, 405 (4^th floor, room 29). Two more reliably decent spots (decent is a relative term as used here; these are “real-a-minute” putarias after all) include Rua da Carioca, 59 (5^th floor) and Avenida 13 de Maio, 47 (rooms 708 and 2408). Many, but not all, of these places will have pamphleteers out front passing out small ads.

There are many, many listings for small places to be found in the classified sections of O Globo and O Dia. (see http://odia.ig.com.br/classificados/ and look under “Casa” and then under “massagens e termas”). Many do not list addresses but provide phone numbers. One popular place, Bel Prazer, can be reached at 2517-0879. Rates are $50 for 30 minutes, $100 for an hour, and $140 for an hour with two girls. Call and they will provide you with an address. Hint: you probably want to avoid the ads for “quase-mulheres” (transsexuals) unless that’s what gets your juices flowing. Not my thing…

I’ve never bumped into anyone who spoke a single word of English in these places, but talk is not what they’re selling, and negotiation skills are not needed: just pick a girl, do the deed, and pay on your way out. Some of these places do sell drinks, but socializing does not seem to be the focal activity.

The Night Clubs (Boites)

Another common place to search for that girl of your dreams (those lust-filled wet dreams, that is) is the night club area, which is located around Ave. Princess Isabel in Leme. There are many nightclubs in this neighborhood (also sometimes referred to as the Lido). These clubs (or "Boites") open relatively late and feature some exotic dance shows. The cover charges varies from $15-$40 reais and sometimes includes the first drink or two. Drink prices tend to be VERY expensive, so keep an eye on your bar tab and check it each time you order something. I've talked with guys who were surprised to find at the end of the evening that the bar tab was well over $200 US. Some of the clubs have been known to pad the tab with mystery charges.

These clubs are filled with women, some who dance and some who are just there to keep you company, share your drinks, and maybe go home with you. The dancers are also available to head home with you. The house makes its money off the drinks and cover. I have not paid a "bar fine" in any of these clubs, but then again, I don't frequent them. The best-known places are Barbarela’s, Frank's, La Cicciolina, New Pussycat, Don Juan’s, and the New Scotch Bar. Barbarela's is known to have the most attractive women, but an evening here can get pretty expensive, and the place will pad your tab if you’re not very careful. Most of the girls will ask for $300-400 reais for 2 hours but will negotiate from there. Many will not want to spend the night … they would prefer to make the quick money and then find another customer later. Also worth noting is the fact that while many these places open late, many of the hottest garotas get pulled out by 11 or so, especially at Barbarela’s. Not being a huge fan of the clubs, I can't offer more in the way of details. They are worth a visit, though. Frank’s has a pretty cool live sex show that usually takes place at 1 a.m. Make sure you wear protective eyewear if you sit in the front row!

Barbarella’s: Rua Min. Viveiros de Castro, 24, Copa

Frank’s Bar: Av. Princess Isabel, 185, Copa

La Cicciolina: Av. Princess Isabel, 185, Copa

New Scotch Bar: Av. Princess Isabel, 7, Copa

Pussycat: Rua Belfort Roxo, 88B, Copa

Help Discoteca

Everybody knows where Help is. Help is headquarters of the evening sex scene in Copacabana. Rumored to be the largest disco in Latin America (not true, Via Show in Rio is larger but is not a haven for working girls), it is the favorite hangout of working women in Rio and the men looking for them. Located on Ave. Atlântica, a block from the Othon Palace Hotel, Help gets rocking after midnight, and the crowds don't get heavy until about 1:30. You'll see it all in Help: the good, the bad, the ugly; from the sublime to the absurd. At times it looks like something out of a Fellini movie. If you're looking for someone to spend the night with, this is a good place to come. The crowd starts gathering around 10:30pm at the outdoor cafe‚ Terraço Atlântico, (also affectionately known as “Ground Zero,” the “Piranha Pond” or “The Snake Pit”) next door, and begin drifting in around midnight (admission prior to midnight is discounted). Any earlier and you'll find the place virtually vacant. The admission price has increased over the past few years from 9 to 12 to 16 and now to 25 reais, but inside drinks are quite reasonable (4 reais for a beer), and as I mentioned earlier, Help gives a great exchange rate for your dollars.

Many guys actually never make it into Help because they negotiate a deal at the café outside Help. I have met girls out front who didn’t want to go inside (too smoky, too loud, etc.) and just wanted to talk and drink outside before heading back to my hotel. This is a reasonable strategy—the lighting is better outside and you get a better view of your potential partner—but everyone must experience Help at least once.

The disco itself is big and the music tends to be deafening. I hate disco and techno, so I just grit my teeth and bear it as best as I can, but I do get out and dance. The girls appreciate the effort, even if you're a crappy dancer like me. As the evening wears on, the DJs play more sambas and less disco. If you want to escape the crowds on the floor, you can head upstairs where there are tables and have drinks and even order from a small menu.

Nearly all (but not all) of the women you see inside will be working girls … they are available. It is the largest “putaria” in Rio! For the most part they won't approach you, especially the stars. Of course, the real dogs will be more aggressive and grab your ass every time you walk by. The others may try to make eye contact and flirt from a distance, but generally you are expected to make the move. I'm constantly amazed at how many guys stand off to the side and seem to expect that the prettiest women will just walk over and say "Take me!" Making contact is pretty easy. Catch her eye, approach her and say hi, ask her if she wants a drink or wants to dance, and that's it. Everything else will follow. Prices are negotiable and get somewhat lower as the evening wears on. Don't be surprised, though, if your friend wants to stay until 3 or so. These women love to dance and have a good time, and some are amazing dancers. They may be working, but they're trying to have fun, too.

The initial asking price seems to be 300 reais these days. Remember, this is just an opening salvo, and most expect you to negotiate. Think of some funny way to convince her that 150-250 reais is more realistic (“you’re worth a thousand, but I can only pay 150”). Expect to pay between 200-250 reais for all night (I hold the line at 250 reais and generally try to pay 200 for all night and 150 for a couple of hours), and try to be clear whether you’re asking for all night or a few hours. Many will try to bargain in dollars, and will ask for $100 US and up. Some will quote a price and be unwilling to negotiate. What you decide to do is up to you, but most of your fellow hobbyists will appreciate your efforts to keep prices within reason. Don’t let your “little head” do all of your thinking! Also note, asking prices tend to fall after 3 a.m.

Spend some time with the woman before you decide she's the one. There are a lot of great ones at Help, but there are some bad apples as well. Several men have reported being drugged and robbed by their overnight visitors from Help. Exercise caution when accepting a drink from someone else, or leaving your drink unattended. You can often get a pretty good sense of the girl by spending an hour or two with her. If she seems too anxious to leave the disco and consummate the deal, you might ask yourself why, and whether she’ll be in a similar hurry to leave your hotel room.

Who are the women in Help? Well, they run the gamut. Some are hardcore pros who are there virtually every night. There are a handful of women I’ve seen almost every time I’ve been in Help over the past 8 years. Hardcore doesn’t necessarily mean “bad;” it just means that they have heard and seen it all. Others come one or two nights a week to make some spending money. Some are termas girls, who stop by Help if they’ve had a slow night in the termas or are short on cash. Others are students financing their education, and still others are girls in Rio on vacation looking for a way to cover their vacation costs. I have also met girls from the boites who come to Help on their nights off. During one trip I met a stunner in Help who dances at Barbarela’s every night except Saturdays. On numerous occasions I’ve left with college girls in town during their semester or summer breaks. There’s one commonality linking all of these girls: they are working girls and expect to be paid, even if money never gets mentioned.

When leaving Help for the evening, heed the advice on the signs at the door and try not take one of the cabs waiting out front. They are rip-off artists and will charge you quadruple the actual rate. Walk a block or so in either direction (it's probably safe if you stay on the sidewalk) and then flag a cab. Do take a cab to your location, though. I know of many guys who have been robbed after leaving Help who decided that it wasn’t worth $2 for a 5-block cab ride. Robberies are very common in the Help neighborhood.

If you’ll be at a hotel, the hotel staff is likely to ask your guest to fill out a card and show identification. Some hotels will ask her to leave her ID card at the desk. The Luxor Regente, for example, does this and then calls you before they return her card to make sure there are no problems. This is for your own protection and is pretty standard. I actually find it comforting to know that the hotel will have the girl’s ID information should she decide to rip me off. In your hotel room, always use your safe, and keep valuables and extra cash locked up. Most of the girls are honest (I've only once had a problem in countless trips), but it's better not to tempt fate.

Paying the girls can be an art form. I do not pay girls in advance, and have sometimes had bad experiences with those who demand it. In those cases I show the girl the money to prove I have it, and imply that if we have a really great time there might be a bonus. Other girls are a bit shy and embarrassed when the “financial transaction” part arrives, so I find it best to thank the girl with a kiss and somewhat discreetly slip the “present” into her pursue or pocket. Most appreciate the gesture. Adding 10 reais for her cab fare is a welcome and thoughtful gesture that the girls will appreciate.

Vila Mimosa

If you’re in the mood for something different—something “down and dirty”—you may want to check you Vila Mimosa (or VM, as it’s known to most). VM is a small section in the old downtown area (not far from the soccer stadium, Maracanã) that is home to some very seedy and inexpensive brothels. VM is a classic local institution that primarily serves locals. The original Vila Mimosa was demolished in 1966 when the land it sat on was deemed useful by developers. Shortly thereafter a new VM sprung up in its current location. It can get a bit rough, so if you do not look like a local and speak Portuguese, you may not want to wander in here on your own. Go with a group and/or book the services of a guide.

A VM Garota

What will you find in VM? There are a bunch of tiny beer bars and small houses each with several small rooms. You can select a girl and head to one of these rooms and do the deed on site. Here’s the deal, though. If Cleanliness is next to Godliness, VM borders on Hell. The rooms run from dirty to disgusting. The girls vary wildly in quality, from “butt ugly, wouldn’t get close enough to beat it with a 10-foot stick” to surprisingly pretty. I saw quite a number of girls who looked underage as well (if underage girls appeal to you, you might want to tour a Brasilian jail before you decide to imbibe). But this is budget-sex central: you should never pay more than $20-25 for a standard 20-minute spin with a girl here. I once had a $16 session (less than a real a minute)! Longer sessions are available; I had an hour session with a particularly pretty and really nasty garota for $65 (including the $5 for the room). Bring your own condoms or you’ll pay an extra real for one. You can pay about double the on-site rate if you decide to take her back to your place (not a bad idea if you’re averse to cum-covered sheets). If you’ll be using the rooms here, bring along a towel. Some rooms have been so grungy that I just had my girl strip and lean over the bed while I took her from behind while standing up with my shoes on! To be honest, this is not my cup of tea, but from time to time the mood strikes me and I make a VM run. It’s another of those places that any visitor should see at least once. The action seems to get going around 5 p.m. and goes well into the night. Sundays are very quiet, but As I mentioned earlier, go with a group or a guide. VM has its own website, which set records for number of hits in a day in Brasil after it was featured in a newspaper article: http://www.vilamimosa.com.br, but it appears to have lost all its useful content (maps, photos) recently, having been taken over by an NGO that supports prostitutes. VM is located on Sotero dos Reis, near the São Cristovão metro station. Do not plan to walk from the metro station after dark; the surrounding neighborhood is quite dangerous.

The Street

Avoid the women working the street along Av. Atlântica in Copa. Some cruise the sidewalks while others stand at the end of parked cars in the street. Many are IV drug users, a fair number are transvestites, and high percentages are HIV+. Many of their customers find themselves robbed and beaten by a nearby pimp/boyfriend. Pick pocketing is rampant. If they approach you, head the other way. Just say no. Really! There’s also street action to be found on Prado Junior and in Praça Mauá, but the same caveats/warnings apply.

Amateurs

By amateurs, I mean girls who will spend the night with you for free. The term “non-pro” gets used in a variety of ways, but usually to signify someone who is not a hardcore pro but who still expects to be paid. Amateurs are just party girls who you might sweet talk into spending the night with you. Generally, if you don’t speak Portuguese quite well, you can forget it.

A while back I took a friend’s advice and went to Maxim's, a disco atop the Rio Sul Shopping Center. He said there were often women there looking for a one-nighter, and he was right. I had all kinds of fun and ended up back at my hotel with a 22-year-old bank teller who just wanted to have some fun and practice her English. It was an awesome evening. Don't know if I just got lucky or what, but there were plenty of girls there on their own, and several flirted with me.

Sadly, Maxim’s has now closed, but there are clubs all over Rio. One of my favorite restaurants, Mostarda, has dancing on the 2nd floor after midnight, and there are lots of beauties. Another club I have visited several times is called "The Bedroom" and is decorated in a bedroom motif, with mattresses scattered around the club. You’ll see lots of groping goes on but no actual sex. Another cool club is Bunker 94. Nuth, in Barra da Tijuca, is a great dance club. Getting in these places is much like getting into a trendy club in NY. You have to dress right and look right. I do neither, but I got in because I was with people who did. You will generally NOT find pros in these clubs (if you do, they are usually “off-duty” and there to dance), but it is possible to sweet talk your way into some beautiful young thing’s pants … if you speak Portuguese and you look like you have $$$. Again, if you can’t speak Portuguese, you’ll have a hard time picking up any amateurs.

Don’t assume that all Brasilian women are dying to fuck foreign men. Usually, the locals will avoid you like the plague: they assume that all foreigners in Rio are sex tourists, and that any brasileira who is seen with a foreigner is a puta. Consequently, picking up amateurs is not as simple as many have made it sound—99% of the stories you hear about free sex with amateurs are complete BS.

Daytime Options

So it’s 2 p.m. and you’re horny as hell. What are you going to do about it? You have a few options. First, as noted above, some of the termas are already open, although the action tends to be pretty slow before 4:00. Termas 65 and Quatro X Quatro are your best mid-day bets. But what if it’s noon? Or what if you don’t want to make the trek downtown to the “fast-foda” brothels that open at 10 a.m.?

If you want to hang a bit closer to home there are three main options. Late in the afternoon (meaning 4 p.m. in Brasil’s summer and 2 p.m. in the winter) some garotas gather at three cafes looking for customers–Meia Pataca (next to the Othon Palace hotel), the Balcony (Av. Atlântica, 1424, in Copa) and Mabs (in Leme, at the other end of Copa). There are occasionally some beauties to be found at these places, but I’ve only once taken a girl from Meia Pataca back to my hotel. If you see something of potential interest, just grab a table and make eye contact. These girls are pros and are quite assertive … you won’t have to wave them over. More likely you’ll have to chase them off. Note, however, that the girls that hang out at Meia Pataca and Mabs, in particular, tend to be pretty hard core. The Balcony Bar stays pretty busy well into the evening while the other two place s are only afternoon venues.

The second option, earlier in the day, is on the beach directly in front of the Othon Palace hotel. On nice days about 20 or so pros work this beach, known to some of us as “Praia das Putas.” You can rent a beach chair from the guys there (negotiate in advance what all costs are; these guys will cheat you if given a chance) and, again, just make eye contact. The guys renting the chairs fashion themselves as big time pimps, but don’t let them serve as intermediaries or the price will go up. I’ve never taken a girl from the beach, although there are occasionally some really beauties there, and some enjoy prancing around topless. Let me reiterate one point: the guys working the beach here are thieves. Have as little to do with them as possible. If you don’t pay as you go, you’ll receive an unpleasant surprise when you leave.

Beach Bunda @ Praia das Putas

Pros also work the beaches in a few other spots: in front of the Le Meridian hotel in Leme, in front of the Marriott hotel in Copacabana, and in front of the Cesar Park Hotel in Ipanema, but in much smaller numbers than the Othon Palace location.

A mid-day short-time experience should cost you no more than $75-150 reais depending upon the amount of time you’re looking for.

Escorts are the third, and in my mind best, option. Many independent escorts advertise their services in the local papers (see O Dia and O Globo classified sections, for example) and they are very reasonable. Take note, however, of that fact that quite a number of transsexuals advertise in the papers. If that’s not your style, avoid the ones who use the term “quase mulher.” Better yet, use one of the many escort agencies.

Escort Agencies

There are dozens of escort agencies through which you can book girls for a few hours during the day or evening. Many have web sites where you can check out the girls pics (usually minus views of their faces)., and many also have advertisements in the classified section of the local newspapers. Descriptions of the girls are rather sensationalized, but they will often tell you if the girl does anal (“completa”) and what other services she offers. Many also have books of photos, so you can go to their offices and select a girl from the book or have a girl bring the book to your hotel/apartment (for a small fee). Most agency staff speak only Portuguese, so arranging something by phone can sometimes be a challenge if you don’t speak Portuguese. The prices vary considerably, but you can generally find a beauty to entertain you for two hours for between 100 and 250 reais. Try to find a deal like this in New York or LA! I’ve had very good luck with girls from Karla Models and Scort Show, and it’s hard to beat their price (100 reais for two hours, completa, plus taxi). If you book a girl from either of these agencies (they are sister agencies), request that the girl bring the book with the photos of their models (including pictures of faces) and there will be no charge. Lindas Models also has great prices ($100/2 hours, 2 girls for $180/2 hours) and some terrific girls, but they are infamous for bait-and-switch: the girl who arrives at your door is often not the one you requested. Cassiascort also offers 2-hour sessions for 100 reais. The Malu Models website suggest that their price is also $100, but on the phone you’ll be told it’s $130. Newscort is another of my favorites, and charges $120 for two hours. In other words, most of these agencies charge a real a minute or less!

The infamous Tatiana, late of Karla Models

Many of the agencies are listed in the local yellow pages, and many also advertise in the classified sections of the major papers. Their hours vary, and some are only open on weekdays. It’s best to check their websites for updated information and to get a rough idea of what their talent looks like, but many will often have new girls available whose pictures have yet to be posted; these new ones are often worth a spin sight-unseen. Here are a few web sites and phone numbers just to wet your appetite:

Karla Models

http://www.karlamodels.com.br

2502-4290

Scort Show

http://www.scortshow.com.br

2523-6115

Company Girl

http://www.companygirl.com.br

2513-1867

Barra VIPs

http://www.barravips.net

2421-3140

Newscort

http://www.newscort.com

2237-7792

Lindas Models

http://www.lindasmodels.com

2205-2463

Cassiascort

http://www.cassiascort.com

2552-3531

Malu Models

http://www.malumodels.com

3287-7849

Ciaplus

http://www.ciaplus.com

2522-6500

40 Graus

http://www.40graus.net

8725-5072

The escort agencies generally will not let you make a booking unless you have a telephone, so if you are staying in an apartment and don’t have a cell phone, booking escorts can be difficult. One of the nice things about the agencies is that many open fairly early. Let’s say you wake up at 10 a.m. and are feeling pretty horny. Give one of the agencies a call and you’ll have a pretty little brasileira doing a lap dance on your pole in 20 minutes.

Motels

The Brasilian motel is not the same as a US motel … a cheesy, down-at-the-mouth hotel. Brasilian motels are designed for sex, not really for sleeping. If you’re staying at a hotel that does not allow guests, if you prefer to be discrete, or if you just want a special night with a special garota, you might consider a trip to a motel.

The “love motel” is an institution in Brasil. Its existence reflects certain realities in the lives of most Brasilians: most live in crowded households, many share bedrooms with children or other roommates, and few have anything resembling privacy. Hence, motels: places where couples—married or not—can have a few hours of privacy for sex.

Because motels are intended for sex, they are designed for sex. Most have nice big beds with strategically placed mirrors. Many have whirlpools; most have TV with one or more porn channels. Upscale rooms have saunas, steambaths, swimming pools, waterfalls, and all sorts of electronic goodies (including internet connections in some cases, so you can upload those pictures as soon as you take them!). Some have special "equipment," like chairs especially designed for sex play. Several have on-site sex shops where you can purchase toys and such.

The motels can be found all over Rio. Some of my favorites are Hotel Bambina and Panda Motel in Botafogo, and VIPs, Sinless (great name!), and Nosso in Leblon (all a short cab ride from where you are likely to be staying. VIPs is the most expensive, but many of the nicer suites have fabulous ocean views and are equipped to the max (complete with big screen TVs, pools, waterfalls, sex chairs, etc.). VIPs is especially well suited for “festas,” which are essentially orgies involving groups of men and working girls. Festas usually involve two or more guys renting the Millennium Suite (and maybe individual apartments) and then bringing in groups of girls (often from an escort agency) for fun and games. Bring along swimsuits for the girls (which get removed after a few minutes) and lots of alcohol, and interesting things are bound to happen. Other motels also have rooms appropriate for festas (especially Snob, located in Centro), but the Millennium Suite, with its full-sized pool, two decks, and two beds, is ideal for big festas.

Rates at the motels vary considerably; as does the amount of time you get the room. Usually your fee covers the room for 8 hours, but some motels give you only 4-6 hours on Fri. and Sat. nights while others give you 12 hours. The fee varies by the room amenities, so you’ll pay more at VIPS for a room with a view and with all the toys than for a basic room with bed, mirrors, and a shower. Still, all the rooms are nice, and are likely much nicer for sex than your hotel room. Most motels offer breakfast in the morning.

Scenes from a festa at Motel VIPS

For more on this marvelous Brasilian institution (second only to the termas), see: http://www.guiademoteis.com.br. This site has links to many motel web sites and also has a link that allows you to print discount coupons for a number of the motels. Discount coupons are also sometimes available directly from the sites for the motels.

Here are some of my favorites, five located close to Copacabana/Ipanema and two in or close to Centro:

VIPS Motel (Av. Niemeyer, 418, Leblon, Ph: 3322-1662)

http://www.vipsmotel.com.br/

Basic apartments are $75 for 8 hours ; suites begin at $180 and go up to $500 for the Millennium.

Sinless Hotel (Av. Niemeyer, 214, Leblon, Ph: 2512-9913)

http://www.sinless.com.br/

The basic apartments are $58, with suites running from $83 to $145 (for 6 hours on Fri. and Sat. and 8 hours all other days).

Bambina Hotel (Rua Bambina, 65, Botafogo, Ph: 2539-0713)

http://www.bambinahotel.com.br/

Suites begin at $107, up to $239 (for 6 hours)

Panda Hotel (Rua São Clemente, 298, Botafogo, Ph: 2537-3134).

http://www.pandahotel.com.br

Apartments are $99 and suites are $110 and $399 (for 6 hours on Fri. and Sat. and 12 hours all other days).

Diamond Hotel (R. da Gloria, 46, Gloria, Ph: 2253-6262)

http://www.diamondhotel.com.br

Apartments run from $57.50 to $64.50; suites from $71 to $161.50, for 6 hours.

Hotel Snob (R. Henrique Valadares, 150, Centro, Ph: 2509-1818)

http://snobhotel.com.br

Snob has prices for 4- and 12-hour stays. Apartments are $53/$66 and suites start at $68/$86 and go up to $179/$242.

Nossa Hotel (Av. Niemeyer, 210, Leblon, Ph: 2274-3247)

http://www.nossohotel.com.br

Apartments are $40 and suites run from $65 to $110 (for 6 hours on Fri. and Sat. and 8 hours all other days).

If you find yourself in Copacabana with a garota you have to session with right away and don’t have time for a trek to these motels, a nearby option is the Vanity Motel, located at Av. Nossa Senhora de Copacabana, 1079 (just a few blocks from Help). The place is nothing to write home about, but the rooms have all the basics for accomplishing your mission.

Photography

A favorite souvenir of many a monger is a collection of photos from his sessions. Brasileiras are often very open-minded about photos, and many will willingly and happily pose for you. Indeed, sometimes it’s hard getting them to break off the modeling session. Some will also allow you to videotape your encounters with them.

How do you get a girl to pose for pictures? Ask her. I suggest that if photos are really important to you, ask in advance of securing her services, as she’ll be more motivated to say “yes” if the deal has not yet been finalized.

Taking photos in a termas is a touchy issue. Virtually all (if not all) termas officially discourage the practice, yet it goes on all the time. Again, it is best to secure your garota’s assent beforehand; then the trick is to smuggle your camera into the room. Obviously, small cameras work a lot better in these situations—don’t show up at a termas with your 35mm Nikon, a full lighting system, and collection of lenses. Be as discrete as possible when getting your camera and taking it to the room.

Digital cameras are popular with the girls because they love to see the photos of themselves. I’ve had some girls ask me to burn a CD of the photos when we were done shooting, and I generally try to honor requests for copies and such.

Over the past several years more and more girls have gotten antsy over being photographed, due largely to the fact that they have learned that guys like us may be posting their pictures on various websites. Some of the girls have their reasons for not wanting their pictures—especially explicit pictures—plastered all over the web, so I always ask if they care one way or the other about this. If they say they don’t want me to share their pictures, I honor their request. Others will ask that I not post any photo featuring their face, and I honor that request as well. You are free to do as you wish in this regard, but I know of a few guys who have gotten into a great deal of trouble after posting pictures of girls without their permission. You should assume that if you do so, they will find out. GarotaNet is more powerful than the NSA, CIA, and Mossad combined.

Some Thoughts on Money

It is, after all, pay for play, so it’s not surprising that money matters become one of the messiest issues guys deal with in Rio. The money issues are complicated by the fact that decisions are often made under less than ideal circumstances, when a guy is half (or wholly) drunk, smitten by a garota who’s promised to suck his dick like it’s never been sucked before, and is consequently doing most of his thinking with his little head.

Still, it’s important to keep one’s wits when negotiating, paying, etc. Many guys prefer the termas, massage parlors, and escort services because there’s little if any ambiguity around costs. But if you’re pulling girls from Help, the streetside cafes like Meia Pataca or the Balconey, the beach, or just negotiating a deal on your own with a girl from another venue, there are some guidelines you might want to keep in mind. First, with respect to the question of how much should I pay, my own rule of thumb is that a short afternoon session should cost between 100 and 150 reais. A short session (my definition is 2 hours) in the evening with a girl from Help should cost about 150 reais, and never more than 200. All-night sessions should generally run between 200-250. I know that some guys pay more because they think they need to in order to land a “superstar,” but I’ve never found that to be true. At a minimum you should negotiate, and never accept the first figure she offers. If she says “300,” counter with “200” and see how she responds. More than likely she’ll counter, and you’ll hopefully arrive at an agreeable compromise. If not, you should be prepared to walk away, just as you would if someone were trying to stiff you in negotiations on a car. And just because you can afford to overpay doesn’t mean you should. Will your session be better because you paid 400 reais instead of 250? Absolutely not, but you will be marked as a sucker, and your mongering comrades will not appreciate your distorting the marketplace unnecessarily. You don’t go to Starbucks and offer a 30% premium on their asking price for coffee, so why should you do precisely the same thing when acquiring the services of a girl?

If the price changes once you’re back in your room, stick to your deal. Smile, but be firm, and if she persists, show her the door. If things start to get ugly, you may want to pay her what she’s asking, and consider it a loss and a learning experience (hopefully you learned to choose more carefully).

Your garota may also ask you for cab money when she leaves. Guys vary in how they respond to this request: some feel that cab expenses are built into the negotiated fee, while others feel the request is legitimate. I usually will give the girls 10 reais without their asking, saying “this is for your cab fare,” and they are always quite appreciative. On the other hand, I’ve heard of girls asking for 20-50 reais for cab fare, and this is probably too much to offer. While some girls live considerable distances from Copa and Ipanema, most will probably catch a bus home that costs under 5 reais.

I’ve had many conversations with working girls about money over the years. They are surprised at how many men accept the first offer, agree to requests to go shopping, and so forth. In general they think less highly of men who are especially loose with their money. Sure, they love to have these men as clients, but they think of them as fools who mistakenly think that they’re getting something for the extra money (a better session, genuine affection, a relationship, etc.) that they are not getting. I overheard one garota referring to such a man as “my bank.” Guys, we are clients and they are service providers. Yes, the services they offer are something special, but in all but the rarest of circumstances, it’s still a business transaction, and nothing more. There’s no virtue in getting screwed (sorry) in any such transaction. You can get thoroughly fucked without getting fucked over, and emerge with your self-respect and your vacation funds intact. If you always let the girls dictate the terms, you will eventually feel like a chump, and that will put a damper on your enjoyment. There’s no need to act like a mindless ATM when dealing with these girls.

Some Thoughts on Discretion

While in Rio recently I spent an afternoon with a long-time favorita of mine who was sick and needed cheering up. While visiting with her she started talking about some of her clients. She got up, pulled a file from her dresser, and handed me a stack of photos and business cards from her male clients, asking me if I knew any of them, whether their jobs were especially lucrative, and so forth.

On another occasion a different favorita of mine accidentally forwarded her entire email inbox to me, complete with real names and email addresses (many from business email addresses). I recognized several of the guys from some of the internet boards.

My point in sharing these episodes is that you need to know that the information you share with these girls will not necessarily be considered confidential by them, and your anonymity is certainly not guaranteed. For some this may not be an issue, but I have known of several cases in which guys have been blackmailed by other guys (never the girls, actually) who got hold of names and contact information and threatened to contact wives and/or employers. In another case, a guy who felt especially possessive about a girl actually did contact employers and business customers of one of that garota’s clients who he was able to identify.

My advice to you, then, is to keep important personal information to yourself, and share your full name and other identifying information only with those you know to be absolutely trustworthy. If you feel compelled to have ongoing contact with girls, set up a Yahoo, Google, or Hotmail account under an alias, or get a post office box for snail mail and use an alias. Neither of the favoritas mentioned above have ever had my actual name, so I was shocked when I saw the number of guys who freely shared information that could lead to them being easily identified and contacted by others. One guy I spoke with told me how one of the girls he knew sent him a stack of nude photos of the two of them together. Great … except they were sent to the law firm where he was an associate, and his secretary opens all the mail. It might have been just a minor embarrassment had the secretary not been a good friend of the man’s wife.

My advice: be cautious about the personal information you share, both with the garotas and with the other guys you might meet. While what you are doing is legal, it might still prove embarrassing at a minimum, and could prove quite costly. And for those of you who are married, getting busted by your spouse is likely to lead to an especially expensive divorce. If there’s any way that your exploits in Rio could prove embarrassing and/or costly, take appropriate precautions in protecting your anonymity.

Gifts for Garotas

A little gift for your companion of the hour/evening can often sweeten the deal and make for a more pleasant time. I do have a few guidelines and recommendations regarding gifts that I’ll offer, as many guys either go overboard or give gifts that do more harm than good.

Unless you are visiting a very special friend, gifts are neither necessary nor expected. And unless you know the tastes of the garota in question, you may miss the mark with your gift. Women’s preferences for perfume, cosmetics, and such are very specific and idiosyncratic, so bringing scents without specific knowledge of what a garota prefers is almost always a mistake. The same can be true for clothing; you can get it wrong with respect to color, size, style, preferred brand, etc.

So … my main advice is to keep gifts simple until you know a particular garota and her preferences well. “Little” gifts are usually most appropriate. Chocolate is always a good option in that (1) most garotas love it, (2) decent chocolate is hard to come by in Brasil, and (3) it’s a relatively inexpensive gift that can be given both to the garotas you’ve known for years as well as the ones you’ve just met. Other sweets and treats are also appreciated.

Gifts that are over-the-top (such as major appliances), or just too generous given the nature of your relationship with a particular garota, are viewed with suspicion or as evidence that you are a total chump. One working girl told me recently that she doesn’t understand why these American men who don’t even know her bring her presents. She showed me the pile of loot she’d accumulated over the past month and it was truly ridiculous: two watches, three bracelets, a variety of kitchen utensils, a George Foreman grill, four bottles of perfume and five blouses that she said she’d never wear (wrong scents, wrong colors, etc.), a cd player, and so forth. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I still charged them 250 reais and left in the morning.”

I try to keep my gift giving simple. I bring chocolates and such for the new garotas and I try to find out what my favoritas want before I come and get them something that shows I’ve listened to them and know what they want/like. I quiz my favoritas about their preferences in scents, body lotions, clothes, and music, and then get them something that indicates that I bought it specifically for them. One favorita of mine loves tight black outfits; I know what size she wears and the style she prefers, so I shop accordingly. Another favorita loves several body lotions from Victoria’s Secret, so I bring some for her. Another likes American rock, so I always burn a half dozen compilation CDs for her and print labels and covers with her name on them. It’s the personal touch that makes a gift truly meaningful, so if you don’t know a garota well enough to give your gifts a personal touch, hold off on the gift-giving until you know her better.

Gifts that miss the mark—those that demonstrate that you know little about the woman and her tastes and preferences—can do more harm than good. Yes, it’s the thought that counts, but the thoughtful gift is something she’ll actually use. Many guys, for example, show up with what they regard as sexy lingerie as gifts, but what is sexy and stylish in the US (even brands such as Victoria’s Secret) are often viewed by brasileiras as stodgy stuff more appropriate for Grandma than a garota.

In the end, most gift giving that goes on is both unnecessary and unappreciated. If you feel compelled to give gifts, keep them simple and, if possible, make them personal.

Rio for “Pão Duros:” A Cheapskate’s Guide

Some guys arrive in Rio with extremely restricted budgets. Others just get their kicks squeezing as much out of a dollar as the can. How does a “pão duro” (cheapskate) get the most bang for his buck?

Airfare: Cheap fares are hard to come by these days. There are only a few options for finding good fares. First, keep an eye on the internet-only specials offered by all the major airlines. Many of the airlines have services you can subscribe to that will notify you of weekly specials. It’s also worth simply checking the airline websites from time to time. Most airlines load new fares onto their computers and websites late Monday/early Tuesday, so these are ideal times to check. Another option is using a bidding service like Priceline. You often lose flexibility, and potentially FF miles, when travel on a ticket purchased through Priceline, but you occasionally will save a fair chunk of change. Do some research on how to most effectively bid on Priceline before you go this route. Finally, you can try to book through a consolidator or “bucket broker.” These ticket resellers often advertise in the travel sections of major newspapers, and can be located on the internet as well.

Lodging: Apartments are generally less expensive than hotels, so refer to the section earlier in this guide for information on booking apartments. There are some very, very cheap hotels in Rio, but I know nothing about these places. You can save on apartments by (1) renting a studio or (2) sharing a two-bedroom with a friend. Avoiding peak season (Nov.-Mar.) will also save you money. Prices are often lower in Apr.-May and Sept.-Oct.

Food: Get an apartment with a refrigerator and stock it with food from the nearby grocery stores. Cheap meals are available at the sucos (juice) bars and the many “por kilo” restaurants. If your stomach is up to it, have a dinner at the hot dog trucks that show up in the evenings along Av. Atlântica, near Help. They really are good, though not necessarily good for you. Many small neighborhood bars serve simple, very inexpensive plate meals that are surprisingly tasty and filling.

Women: If you’re a true pão duro, you will not get within a mile of Centaurus or most of the major termas. Cheap pussy? You have a few options. Three escort agencies (Karlas, Scort Show and Lindas Models) offer 2 hours for $100. When you include the cab fare, this comes to about 1 real per minute. You say you don’t want to shell out $100-$120, even if it is for two hours? OK, you still have multiple options. Several of the downtown second division termas offer short sessions (20-30 minutes) for between $60-$80. Still too expensive? Some of the downtown “fast-fodas” brothels offer 20 minute sessions for $20-$30. Check the ads in O Dia (especially on Thur.) and you’ll see several “real-a-minute” places advertising, and others that offer sessions starting at $10 (reais, not dollars). And, of course, you mustn’t forget Vila Mimosa, where you can readily find 20 minute sessions for $25. Cheap enough??? Then, if you decide you want to splurge, there are still ways to save money. For example, say you decide you want to visit a “major” termas. The obvious choice is an early afternoon trip to 4X4. Session with a garota before 5:00 and you can get in and out for $150 for a 40 minute session and $170 for an hour. This, of course, assumes you are a true pão duro and don’t buy drinks for your girl. You can also save money on all-nighters by going into Help before midnight (entry is discounted) but not beginning negotiations until after 4:00 a.m., when some of the garotas start getting a little desperate, and their asking prices start to drop. Once again, a true cheapskate will avoid buying drinks at Help even though they are reasonably priced. Tell your girl you have some cheap beer back at your apartment, and you’ll let her have one (or maybe two if she’s good and nasty) there. You can also hang around outside Help until they close. Dozens of unattached garotas will be coming out the door, and you can swoop in and make a low-ball offer and have a reasonable chance of cutting a really good deal. Try one of those hotdogs from the truck while you wait, and if you want to play big spender, you can wait until you grab one of the garotas exiting Help and buy her a hot dog too. If the hot dog is too pricey, buy her a sorvette next door at Bob’s.

Dining in Rio

No, this is not a section about “dining at the Y.” There’s real food to be had in Rio. I’ve heard many a hobbyist complain about the food in Rio and, upon further questioning, learned that their culinary explorations had been limited to MacDonalds’, Bob’s, and a couple of Avenida Atlântica tourist trap restaurants. This is sad, because good food is readily available and relatively cheap in Rio.

Recommending restaurants can be like recommending women: one man’s “9’ is another’s ‘6.’ With that caveat in mind, these are some I’ve visited and enjoyed.

Bwana’s Top Fifteen

(in no particular order):

Quadrifoglio (R. JJ Seabra, 19, Jardim Botânico, tel: 2294-1433). Killer Italian; this upscale restaurant is a place to take a special garota. They feature wonderful fresh filled pastas and an array of marvelous sauces. Located just up the street from Termas Solarium.

Porcao Rio’s (Av. Infante Dom Henrique, Flamengo, 2554-8862). My favorite churrascaria (Brasilian BBQ) featuring great meats and a fabulous salad buffet. All-you-can-eat rodizio-style dining in a beautiful setting overlooking Sugarloaf. Another restaurant the garotas love.

Satyricon (R. Barão da Torre, 192, Ipamena, 2521-0627). Elegant (and pricey) seafood with an Italian accent; one of the best restaurants in the city. Lobster is their signature dish, and should not be missed.

Marius (Av. Atlântica, 290A, 2542-2393, Leme). This is another favorite churrascaria, where the food keeps coming until you plead “Não mais!” This is another spot the garotas appreciate coming.

Siri Mole e Cia (R. Francisco Otaviano, 50, Arpoador, 2267-0894). This wonderful restaurant features the cuisine of Bahia (fish, fish, and more fish). Try the spicy shrimp moqueca, and don’t skip the desserts.

Milano DOC (R. Gomes Carneiro, 132, Ipanema, 2522-0303). One of several excellent Italian restaurants featuring terrific seafood, especially the lobster and shrimp served with various pastas. Prices are quite reasonable given the quality of the food.

Celeiro (R. Dias Ferreira, 199, Leblon, 2274-7843). Conde Nast magazine raved about this salad and veggie restaurant, and I have to agree with their enthusiastic recommendation. The place to go the day after you’ve OD’ed on meat at a churrascaria.

Esplanada Grill (R. Barão da Torre, 600, Ipanema, 2239-0569). This is my favorite steakhouse in Rio. The picanha is to die for, and the side dishes are uniformly excellent. Start with their excellent tossed salad, and enjoy a bottle of their reasonably-priced wine.

Sol e Mar (Av. Nestor Moreira, s/n, Botafogo). Excellent seafood and Italian dishes complimented by one of the best views in Rio. Service can be slow, but the food is excellent and reasonable. Request a table overlooking the bay and Sugarloaf.

Garota de Ipanema (R. Vinicius de Moraes, 49A,Ipanema, 2523-3787). Best known as the location where Vinicius de Moraes and Tom Jobim wrote the lyrics to “The Girl from Ipanema,” the food is both excellent and reasonable. Excellent picanha served here.

Capricciosa (R. Domingos Ferreira, 221, Copa, 2255-1626). An upscale pizza and pasta restaurant featuring good sauces—rare in Brasil—along with excellent salads and pasta dishes. There is also a location at R. Vinícius de Moraes, 71-B.

Confeitaria Colombo (R. Gonçalves Dias, 32, Centro, 2232-2300). Open only for lunch, this classic European-style patisserie serves a great buffet-style lunch in an elegant setting. No need to dress up despite the beautiful setting. This is a nice place to have lunch on the way to Termas 4X4.

Marius Crustaceos (Av. Atlântica, 290, Leme, 2542-2393). Apply the rodizio style to seafood and this is what you get. Seafood, shellfish, stews, and a great salad buffet, all in a typically “Marius” classy setting.

Mio (R. Farme de Amoedo, 52, Ipanema). A nice Italian restaurant with a huge menu. Choose from dozens of pasta dishes and excellent meats and fresh fish.

Amir (R. Ronald de Carvalho, 55C, Copa, 2275-5596). Small and frequently crowded, this Arabian restaurant near the Praça do Lido is an absolute bargain, and great for lunch (temporarily closed for renovations, late 2005-early 2006).

More good eating options:

Along the Beach:

Don Camillo (Av. Atlântica, 3056, Copacabana) Best Italian on the beach.

Barril 1800 (Av. Vieira Souto, 110, Ipanema). Nice selection of typical Brasilian food.

Arab (Av. Atlântica, 1936, Copa). Terrific Arabian food, with a great “por kilo” buffet lunch.

Feijoada--Brasil’s National Dish:

Casa da Feijoada (R. Prudente de Moraes, 10, Ipanema). Served every day.

Confeitaria Colombo (see above). A great version served for lunch on Saturdays.

Bars with Great Snacks:

Bracarense (R. Jose Linhares, 85B, Leblon). Voted best in Rio repeatedly.

Cervantes (Av. Prado Junior, 335, Loja B, Copa). Great food, and open until 4 a.m.

Bar Luiz (R. da Carioca, 39, Centro). Best in Centro, Founded in 1887. A classic!

Salads and Light Meals:

Alface’s (R. Visconde do Graca, 51, Jardim Botânico). Great selection of salads.

Gula-Gula (R. Anibal de Mendonca, 132, Ipanema). A great choice for a light meal.

Celeiro (see above). When you’re craving salad and vegetables, this is the place to go.

Por Kilo:

Siqueira Grill (R. Siqueira Campos, 16B, Copa). Massive quantities, good and cheap.

Kilograma (N.S. de Copacabana, 1144, Copa). One of the city’s best; great for a big lunch.

Monchique (R, da Alfândega, 53, Centro). Good place for a big, cheap meal downtown.

Juices:

Polis Sucos (R. Maria Quiteria, 70, Ipanema). Killer juices from Amazonian fruits.

Sweets and Baked Goods:

The Bakers (R. Santa Clara, 86, Copa). Great pastries, cakes, and light meals.

Cafeina (NS de Copacabana & R. Constante Ramos, Copa) Pastries and great breakfasts.

Traiteurs de France (NS de Copacabana, 386, Copa). French-style baked goods.

Ice Cream:

Sorveteria Mil Frutas (R. Barao da Torre, 510B, Ipanema). Specializes in exotic fruit flavors. Worth a trip.

Sorveteria Mil Frutas (R. JJ Seabra, Jardim Botânico). Ditto; up the street from Termas Solarium.

Shopping in Rio

You didn’t come here to shop, but you may want to take a few hours to see what shopping “Carioca-style” is like. Brasilians (especially Brasileiras) love to shop, so a trip to the mall is a great way to see some serious eye-candy.

Malls: The two largest and most popular malls are Rio Sul Shopping, which is located just a few minutes from Copacabana, and Barra Shopping, which is further out, in Barra da Tijuca. Barra Shopping is the larger of the two malls, but unless you’re intent on some very serious shopping, you’ll be fine staying closer to home. Both malls feature a few larger “department stores” along with lots of smaller specialty stores and food courts. If you want to “go Brasilian,” the malls are good places to get that new wardrobe. Clothing prices are quite reasonable, although imported items tend to be pricey. The real reason for going to the malls, though, is to people-watch, or—more accurately—garota-watch. Brasilian women love to dress up and go to the mall for fun.

Souvenirs: In all likelihood you’re expected to bring some gifts back from Brasil. A great place to look for fairly inexpensive souvenirs is the Ipanema Hippie Fair (Feira Hippie de Ipanema) which is held every Sunday at Praça General Osorio. From 9-5 you can browse the stalls for leather goods (wallets, purses, sandals), arts and crafts, clothing, etc., at very good prices.

If you’re looking for more basic souvenir items, merchants set up stalls on the wide median on Avenida Atlântica, out in front of Help Disco, in Copacabana. This market is somewhat seasonal; in summer the stalls are in place Monday through Saturday evenings from about 8 p.m. until about 1 a.m. You should negotiate when buying souvenirs … it’s expected, and if you don’t get a discount, you’re paying more than the locals would.

Farmer’s Market: If you’re staying in the Ipanema area and would like to get some great fresh fruit and vegetables to take back to your hotel or apartment, then stop by Praça General Osorio on Tuesdays. The plaza is packed with merchants selling beautiful produce, meats, fish, etc. It’s worth an hour just to watch Cariocas as they bargain with the merchants here, but be sure to try some of the great fruit available here.

Music: It’s hard not to fall in love with the music of Brasil; there are many styles that capture the atmosphere of the country, and I find the music irresistible. CDs, in my estimation, are among the best souvenirs one can get in Rio. There are many small CD stores located around town, but only a few stores with really good selections. My favorite store is Modern Sound, located at Rua Barata Ribeiro, 502 (near the intersection with Rua Santa Clara). This store has an excellent selection of Brasilian music at very good prices (most CDs costing $10-$12 US). The shop also carries DVDs and has a nice café that features live music (mainly first-rate jazz) in the evenings (no cover).

Entertainment (the other kind)

Believe it or not, some guys don’t spend all their time inside termas or outside of Help. Rio, like other large cosmopolitan cities, has a wealth of entertainment options for those times when you need a break from the relentless pursuit of the perfect garota or for when you’ve found her and you want to do something fun that doesn’t involve total nudity. Here are a few options.

Dance clubs:

Rio has scores of dance clubs featuring different types of music and different types of crowds. Some dance clubs feature food, others do not. Most feature beautiful non-professional girls, but don’t expect to get lucky unless you (1) are young, (2) look and dress like you have $$$, and (3) speak Portuguese well. For most, it’s better to bring a date than hope to fins one in the clubs unless you have major game.

Here are a few clubs that are often good. The scene changes constantly, so it’s best to check with locals regarding which clubs are hot and which are not. Some clubs have cover charges while others have minimum consumption charges.

Nuth (Av. Armando Lombardi, 999, Barra)

Baronetti (Rua Barão da Torre, 354, Ipanema)

Studio 54 (Av. Das Americas, 5000, Barra)

Club Six (Rua das Marrecas, 38, Centro)

Melt (Rua Rita Ludolf, 47, Leblon)

Prelude (Av. Epitácio Pessoa, 1484, Lagoa)

The Bedroom (Estrada do Joá, 150, São Conrado)

People (Av. Bartolomeu Mitre, 370, Leblon)

Méli Mélo (Av. Borges de Medeiros, 1426, Lagoa)

Club B.A.S.E. (Rua Francisco Otaviano, 20, Copa)

Live Music:

Brasil is the most musical of countries, and music is in the soul of all Cariocas. Not surprisingly, great live music venues can be found throughout Rio. To find out who’s playing where, check the entertainment sections of the local newspapers (O Globo, O Dia, etc.).

Major Brasilian and international acts often appear at Claro Hall (Av. Ayrton Senna, 3000) in Barra da Tijuca and at Canecão in Botafogo (see http://www.canecao.com.br), but small clubs featuring jazz, bossa nova, and other genres are sprinkled throughout the city. Here are just a few possibilities.

Allegro Bistro-Loja Modern Sound (Rua Barata Ribeiro, 502, Copa)

Bar do Tom (Rua Adalberto Ferreira, 32, Leblon)

Carioca da Gema (Rua Mem de Sá, 79, Lapa)

Casa da Mãe Joana (Av. Gomes Freire, 547, Lapa)

Chiko’s Bar (Av. Epitácio Pessoa, 1560, Lagoa)

Dama da Noite (Rua Gomes Freire, 773, Lapa)

Rhapsody (Av. Epitácio Pessoa, 1104, Lagoa)

Vinícius (Rua Vinícius de Morais, 39, Ipanema)

Health Issues

Sexually transmitted diseases:

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the risk of exposure to a sexually transmitted disease (STD) is elevated when having sex with women who are having sex with many other men (who are, themselves, having sex with many other women, etc.). More than a few men have picked up an unexpected “souvenir” during their “play for pay” vacations.

STDs are not epidemic, but they are common enough that precautions should be taken. Condoms are an effective barrier against most STDs, particularly the most common ones: chlamydia and gonorrhea. Condoms are also very effective in preventing exposure to HIV. Condom effectiveness is less clear for some other STDs, such as human papillomavirus (HPV) and herpes. Note that the latter two STDs are “incurable” in the sense that there are treatments to reduce the symptoms, but the underlying disease likely remains in place. Nevertheless, correct and consistent use of condoms is the best means of preventing exposure to both curable and incurable STDs.

If you are interested in knowing more about STDs, their symptoms, and appropriate treatment, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) website at: http://www.cdc.gov/nchstp/dstd/disease_info.htm

So what do you do if you think you have an STD? First, stop any sexual activity until you find out. Most of the bacterial STDs have a latency between infection and first signs of symptoms of between 5-7 days. Get to a doctor and get tested. Most likely you will be put on antibiotics; often a single large dose of Cipro combined with Doxycycline for 7 days. It’s not the end of the world, but if you infect your wife/significant other, it may be the next closest thing.

I have heard tales of some guys taking these antibiotics as a prophylaxis to prevent STDs. This is a terrifically bad idea in that over time it will decrease the effectiveness of the antibiotics.

Nuisance illnesses:

Not surprisingly, there’s a decent chance you’ll be exposed to viruses or bacteria that are new to your system and for which you have little immunity. You’re in a new place, and you’re exposing yourself—rather intimately—to new people. Sore throats, stomach ailments and such are an occasional risk for the traveling male, so you should be prepared to cope. Bringing along a good anti-diarrhea medication such as Imodium-AD is not a bad idea. I also bring along a supply of decongestants/antihistamines to do battle with colds and sore throats.

Medication:

Most medications you might want are available in the numerous drugstores (drogarias/farmácias) located every few blocks along Nossa Senhora de Copacabana, but the names are sometimes different, and if you don’t speak Portuguese you might need to find someone who can translate for you. Common medications such as Advil are available, and many medications that require a prescription elsewhere can be purchased without one in Brasil. You can even get an injection of Vitamin C at the farmácia (pharmacists in Brasil can give injections and “prescribe” many medications).

Can I drink the water?

Sure, but you increase the risk of bacterial exposure. I recommend that you use bottled water for drinking and brushing your teeth. It’s very inexpensive, whereas a stomach problem may well ruin your trip. It may seem overly cautious, but there’s no downside to drinking bottled water in place of tap water.

Odds and Ends

Vitamin V:

Yes, Viagra is readily available at any pharmacy/drug store in Rio. You should be able to buy it without a prescription. Enter any drogaria and go to the pharmacy counter—often at the rear—and ask for Viagra or, better yet, if you don’t speak Portuguese, hand them a piece of paper with the word Viagra written on it, along with how many you want. Viagra is generally sold in boxes of 4-50 mg. doses. A box of four should cost about 80-100 reais. Drogarias sometimes hold sales on the little blue pills.

Vitamin “Ci”:

Cialis is another entry in the “erectile dysfunction” market, competing with Viagra. Its fans (I’m among them) prefer it to Viagra because (1) it lasts for 36 hours, (2) it gives you a hard-on that is truly hard and long-lasting, and (3) there are none of the unpleasant side-effects (headaches, congestion, etc.) associated with Viagra. It’s available at almost all drogarias, in 2- or 4-packs of 20 mg. pills, and is slightly more expensive than Viagra.

Condoms:

I and many other men find the Brasilian condoms to be tight, thick, and a bit unreliable (I’ve blown a few), so I always bring my own, even to the termas. The condoms used in the termas are designed for her protection, not your pleasure, so bringing your own may enhance your session. I like the new “hi-tech” condoms such as “Pleasure Plus” and “Inspiral,” which can be found at condom specialty stores in the big cities or ordered through an on-line source (Condom Country, http:///www.condom.com is very reliable). I have not found a place to buy decent condoms in Rio, and the premium brands are not available there.

These days there’s a chance that your stash of condoms will be inspected by security personnel at an airport, but so what! I just smile and say “I’m going to Rio on vacation.” Indeed, on one of my latest Rio trips my luggage failed the “explosives test” and was thoroughly hand-searched by a young female TSA employee. She opened one bag in my suitcase and found 3 dozen condoms, some lube, and a variety of vibrators and other sex toys. I just smiled and said “It’s going to be a great vacation.” She almost fell over laughing. And, no, your condoms will not be confiscated by the customs folks in Rio. They’ve seen it all.

You may also want to bring along a good lubricant for those garotas who insist that you give it to them up the ass. I prefer water-based lubricants like Wet Platinum. You needn’t bring this to the termas; the termas girls all have their own little boxes full of supplies.

Further Readings

General:

James Page, The Brazilians. An excellent, relatively brief discussion of Brasil’s history and the forces influencing its present. Good discussions of the roots of Carnaval and the Brasilian passion for “the beautiful game.”

Robert Levine & John Crocitti, The Brazil Reader. A diverse collection of popular and scholarly articles on Brasil’s culture and history, most of them fascinating and well-written.

Chris McGowan & Ricardo Pessanha, The Brazilian Sound: Samba, Bossa Nova, and the Popular Music of Brazil. A decent overview of Brasilian music, although it misses the newer styles of Brasilian funk and hip-hop. A good list of must-have recordings.

Priscilla Ann Goslin, How to Be a Carioca. The real survival guide for the Rio tourist. Funny as hell and right on target. Thanks to Rhonda of Riotrips.com for recommending this one.

Language:

David Appell & Paul Balido (Eds), Hot! International: Love and Sex in 7 Languages. The only phrasebook covering phrases like “Suck my cock” and “Take the handcuffs off.” The seven languages include Portuguese, and the girls get a kick out of this book. Indispensable, but out of print, so very hard to find (see information in the “Language” section).

Sue Tyson-Ward, Teach Yourself Portuguese Grammar. An excellent brief introduction to grammar; it complements the Pimsleur CDs nicely.

Mario Perini, Modern Portuguese: A Reference Grammar. A very complete introduction to the formal grammar, but with an emphasis on informal Brasilian Portuguese as it is spoken.

Larousse Concise Dictionary: Portuguese/English. An excellent dictionary with 120,000 translations and good information on pronunciation and usage.

John Nitti & Michael Ferreira, 501 Portuguese Verbs. The complete conjugations of many commonly used verbs. More easily understood once you have a basic grasp on grammar (see Teach Yourself Portuguese Grammar).

Mmmmmm! Gostosa!!!

Enough, Already!

That about wraps up this sixth edition. I’m already counting the days until my next trip. I hope you find this useful. See you in Rio!

--Bwana Dik

List of Consular Jurisdictions in the United States

Brazilian Consulate General in Boston

The Stattler Building

20 Park Plaza, suite 810

Boston, MA 02116

Phone: (617) 542-4000

Fax: (617) 542-4318

E-mail: cgbos@consulatebrazil.org

http://www.consulatebrazil.org

Jurisdiction: States of Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont.

Brazilian Consulate General in Chicago

401 North Michigan Avenue, Suite 3050

Chicago, IL 60611

Phone: (312) 464-0244/464-0245

Fax: (312) 464-0299

central@brazilconsulatechicago.org

Jurisdiction: States of Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.

Brazilian Consulate General in Houston

Park Tower North

1233 West Loop South, Suite 1150

Houston, TX 77027

Phones: (713) 961-3063/961-3064/961-3065

Fax: (713) 961-3070

consbras@brazilhouston.org

http://www.brazilhouston.org

Jurisdiction: States of Arkansas, Colorado, Kansas, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas.

Brazilian Consulate General in Los Angeles

8484 Wilshire Blvd., suites 711/730

Beverly Hills, CA 90211

Phone: (323) 651-2664

Fax: (323) 651-1274

visas@brazilian-consulate.org

info@brazilian-consulate.org

Jurisdiction: States of Arizona, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, and in the State of California, the counties of Imperial, Kern, Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino, San Diego, San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, and Ventura.

Brazilian Consulate General in Miami

2601 S. Bayshore Drive, Suite 800

Miami, FL 33133

Phone: (305) 285-6200

Fax: (305) 285-6229

Fax on demand for information and forms: (305) 285-6259

consbras@brazilmiami.org

http://www.brazilmiami.org

Jurisdiction: States of Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Tennessee. Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, and the Commonwealth of the Bahamas.

Brazilian Consulate General in New York

1185 Avenue of the Americas (Sixth Avenue), 21st Floor

New York, NY 10036

Phone: (917) 777-7777

Fax: (212) 827-0225

consulado@brazilny.org

http://www.brazilny.org

Jurisdiction: States of Connecticut, Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania and the Bermuda Islands.

Brazilian Consulate General in San Francisco

300 Montgomery Street, suite 900

San Francisco, CA, 94104

Phone: (415) 981-8170

Fax: (415) 981-3628

brazilsf@brazilsf.org

http://www.brazilsf.org

Jurisdiction: States of Oregon, Washington, Alaska and in the State of California, the counties of Alameda, Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Contra Costa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Inyo, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Ladera, Marin, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Nevada, Placer, Plumas, Sacramento, San Benedito, San Francisco, San Joaquin, San Mateo, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Shasta, Sierra, Siskyou, Solano, Sonoma, Stanislau, Sutter,Tehama, Trinity, Tulare, Tuolunme, Yolo,and Yuma.

Brazilian Embassy in Washington, D.C.

Consular Service

3009 Whitehaven St., N.W.

Washington, D.C. 20008

Fax: (202) 238-2818

consular@brasilemb.org

http://www.brasilemb.org

Jurisdiction: District of Columbia, States of Kentucky, Maryland, Ohio, Virginia, and West Virginia.

Key Metric Conversions (approx.)

Girl’s Height (meters/feet)

1.55 = 5’1”

1.58 = 5’2”

1.61 = 5’3”

1.64 = 5’4 ½”

1.67 = 5’5 ¾”

1.70 = 5’7”

1.73 = 5’8”

1.76 = 5’9 ¼”

1.79 = 5’10 ½”

Girl’s Weight (kilos = lbs)

44 = 96.9

46 = 101.3

48 = 105.7

50 = 110.1

52 = 114.5

54 = 118.9

56 = 123.3

58 = 127.7

60 = 132

Girl’s Bust Size (centimeters = inches)

85 = 33 ½”

88 = 34 ½”

91 = 35 ¾”

94 = 37”

97 = 38 ¼”

100 = 39 ¼”

103 = 40 ½”

105 = 41 ¼”

108 = 42 ½

111 = Come to papa!

Temperature (C. = F.)

25 = 77

27 = 80.6

29 = 84.2

31 = 87.8

33 = 91.4

35 = 95

37 = 98.6

39 = 102.2

41 = Ridiculously Fucking Hot

Bwana’s Quick Guide to Rio

Termas (1=1^st Division, 2=2^nd Division)

Aeroporto (1)

Beira Mar, 216-C, Castelo

Mon-Fri

Aquarios 61 (2)

Rua do Acre, 61, Centro

Mon-Fri

Beach Girls (2)

Rua Barata Ribeiro, 370, #211, Copa

Mon-Sat

Boate Flórida (2)

Praça Mauá 9, Centro

Mon-Sat

Bononia Termas (1)

Rua Min. Alfredo Valadão, 36, Copa

Mon-Sun

Cancun (1)

Rua do Carmo, 64, Centro

Mon-Fri

Centaurus (1)

Rua Canning, 44, Ipanema

Mon-Sat

Club 30 (2)

Rua Alcântara Machado, 31, Centro

Mon-Fri

L’uomo (1)

Rua Siqueira Campos, 143, 2nd level, Copa

Mon-Sun

Monte Carlo (1)

Rua Hilário de Gouveia, 19, Copa

Mon-Sun

MV 30 (2)

Rua Mairink Veiga, 30, Centro

Mon-Fri

Praia Club 400 (1)

Av. Do Pepe, 400, Barra da Tijuca

Mon-Fri

Quatro por Quatro (1)

Rua Buenos Aires 44, Centro

Mon-Fri

Rio Antigo (1)

Joaquim Silva, 2, Gloria

Mon-Fri

Solarium (1)

Rua JJ Seabra, 21, Jardim Botânico

Mon-Sun

Termas 21 (2)

Rua Buenos Aires, 21, 2^nd floor, Centro

Mon-Fri

Termas 65 (1)

Rua do Rosário, 65, Centro

Mon-Fri

Termas 502 (2)

Rua de Alfandega, 502, Centro

Mon-Fri

Boites (w/Garotas for “Take-Out”)

Barbarella’s

Rua Ministro Viveiros de Castro, 24, Copa

Don Juan

Rua Duvivier, 37, Copa

Florida Bar

Praça Mauá, 9, Centro

Frank’s Bar

Av. Princess Isabel, 185B, Copa

La Ciccolina

Av. Princess Isabel, 185D, Copa

New Scotch Bar

Av. Princess Isabel, 7, Copa

Pussycat

Av. N.S. de Copacabana, 19, Copa

Scandinavia

Praça Mauá, 19, Centro

Escort Services

Barra VIPS

2421-3140

http://www.barravips.com.br

Mon-Sat

Company Girl

2513-1867

http://www.companygirl.com.br

Mon-Sun

Karla Models

2502-4290

http://www.karlamodels.com.br

Mon-Fri

New Scort

2237-7792

http://www.newscort.com

Mon-Sat

Scort Show

2523-6115

http://www.scortshow.com.br

Mon-Fri

Lindas Models

2205-2463

http://www.lindasmodels.com

Mon-Fri

Cassiascort

2552-3531

http://www.cassiascort.com

Mon-Sun

Malu Models

3287-7849

http://www.malumodels.com

Mon-Sun

Ciaplus

2522-6500

http://www.ciaplus.com

Mon-Sat

40 Graus

8725-5072

http://www.40graus.net

Mon-Fri

Motels

Bambina Hotel

Rua Bambina, 65, Botafogo

2539-0713

Diamond Hotel

Rua da Gloria, 46, Gloria

2253-6262

Hotel Snob

Rua Henrique Valadares, 150, Centro

2509-1818

Nossa Hotel

Av. Niemeyer, 210, Leblon

2274-3247

Panda Hotel

Rua São Clemente, 298, Botafogo

2537-3134

Sinless Hotel

Av. Niemeyer, 214, Leblon

2512-9913

Vanity Motel

Av. N.S. de Copacabana, 1079

2287-5841

VIPS Motel

Av. Niemeyer, 418, Leblon

3322-1662

Hotel and Apartment Reservations

Amerioca Tours (Don and Ken)

http://www.amerioca.net

riodon@gmail.com

Phone: 408-884-5903 (US-CA)

916-218-6092 (US-CA)

305-735-8433 (US-FL)

55-21-2522-1259 (Rio)

55-21-9392-9559 (Rio cell)

55-21-2523-4205 (Fax)

Blame It On Rio 4 Travel (Bobby)

http://www.blameitonrio4travel.com

bobby@blameitonrio4travel.com

Phone: 55-21-3813-5510 (Rio)

55-21-3813-5511 (Rio)

55-21-8844-9254 (Rio cell)

917-254-4867 (US-NY)

55-21-3813-0609 (Fax)

EZ Rio Rentals (Kenn)

http://www.ez-riorentals.com

4info@ez-riorentals.com

Phone: 954-681-4316 (US-FL)

55-21-9447-9981 (Rio)

Ipanema.Com

http://www.ipanema.com