2011/07 Costar - Newbie-friendly Bangkok Nana Update
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2011/07 Costar - Newbie-friendly Bangkok Nana Update
| By Costar on Tuesday, July 12, 2011 - 10:59 am: Edit |
Frankly I'm on the fence about whether to post photos after members recently chided each other over how unattractive their girls were. If you guys make it "unsafe" to post anything less than award-winning photos, the reports will not accurately reflect market conditions, which is the purpose of this site as far as I'm concerned.
It's bad enough that these sites are trolled by proprietors promoting their clubs (and possibly do-gooder feminist infiltrators trying to throw a wrench into things). I'm a lone traveler acting in my own self-interest.
Face it, there is little incentive to write reports. It's a thankless job and a big time taker-upper. (Ditto for running a web site.) It might be a naive fantasy for collaborators at a site like this to pool accurate information that someone can actually use to plan a trip. But here goes. Mind what you like and ignore the rest...
Newbie-friendly Bangkok Nana Update - July 2011
by Costar
Thailand's very safe so don't hesitate to go it alone. There's a lot more to Bangkok and Thailand than the way I "do" Nana, but this will get you started.
Getting there:
I fly Thai Airways because it's non-stop: seventeen hours and it's all over with. Economy fare on this last trip was $1900 and change. (A non-stop wastes a lot of fuel and you pay for it. About half the fuel you take off with is just to fly the fuel over.) Service is on an Airbus A340 and you get a lot of electronics to play with: about fifty movies to choose from, games, current flight info, etc.
Other niceties about flying Thai: they get me to Bangkok around 6 a.m. so I save a night's lodging and start with a full day. The return trip leaves BKK about 7 p.m. and arrives in California about 9 p.m. that same day. No more getting to the airport by 4 a.m. to fly United to Narita! That was b.s. Now I sleep in on my last day, enjoy more of what I came for, and make my way to the airport in the afternoon. The extra day of vacation I get from Thai is well worth the extra airfare to me.
Other airlines can get you there cheaper in two hops, and for a longer vacation that's a viable option. I use http://www.kayak.com for comparison purposes, but before I purchase I always go directly to that airline's site to see if I can get a deal that beats Kayak.
Bring a hoodie! That cabin can get very chilly and drafty depending on where you sit, and we wouldn't want to catch a cold, would we? You can throw it away in Bangkok if you want.
Escape From BKK (the airport):
If Bangkok is your destination, the new Airport Link is absolutely the only way to go. It runs from 6 a.m. to midnight. There aren't any signs to help you find it (possibly due to pressure from taxi/limo drivers and other hucksters), so find your way down to the very lowest level of the airport and there it is. For a mere 45 baht you can ride it to Phaya Thai, where you can jump on the sky train (known to locals as "BTS"), and ride that to Nana or wherever you're staying.
On this last trip I took a seat on the empty Airport Link at about 7 a.m. on a weekday. After a couple of stops I was surrounded by young Thai girls packed in like sardines on their way to work. They were happy to talk to me. I could only see two other men in the whole train. I was thinking how this sure beats arguing with some dangerous and overpriced taxi driver who refuses to take the toll road he was supposed to take ("Motorway no good!"), and still expects me to hand him the slip from the taxi stand so that he gets reimbursed for the tolls he didn't pay.
In days of old I waited (and waited) in a cloud of cigarette smoke for the A3 bus to Nana for 120 baht, or I took my chances with a taxi. Why take a chance now? Take the Airport Link: no accidents, no arguments, no rips-offs. It's better, cheaper, and faster.
Lodging:
There are many places to stay in the Nana area already mentioned in other trip reports, so here are just a few:
The Nana Hotel. "Ground zero" location right across the street from the Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP) where the clubs are. And quite reasonable: 1490 baht/night in the low season.
The downside: it's old and dilapidated. If you bring a lady there and it's not a cut-and-dried pay-forplay (P4P) situation, she might feel like a tramp with all the whores hanging around. Romantic it ain't. And I've been tipping there for so long that the entire staff knows me by name and that kind of spooks me, like I have no privacy.
The Nana has a one-guest-at-a-time rule, but the rules aren't enforced if you grease the guard(s) seated behind the desk in the elevator lobby. I use a crisp new 100-baht note folded over twice, or two 50-bahts notes if there are two guards. Try not to be obvious about it.
Once I arrived at the elevators and saw a rather distinguished Chinese gentleman (fifty-ish) pleading with some cutie who apparently didn't have an ID card. She was very sharp in a black mini-dress and I supposed that he had bar fined her at NEP. His frustration was obvious. While the poor guy wondered aloud about what to do, I nonchalantly tossed my donation onto the guard desk without missing a beat and proceeded unimpeded up the elevator with my guests. The guards chuckled and muttered something about me knowing the protocol.
I used to stay on the 11th floor, but the eight floor is more presentable these days since they've finally replaced the hall carpeting. The lower floors have fewer windows and less light. Last year some buddies of mine stayed at the Nana on their first trip to Thailand and moved out after one night. They were more into the Soi 26 massage scene (blah), so they could stay closer to there.
If you want to spring for a really nice hotel, there's a Sheraton and a Westin next to the Asok BTS station, a short hop east from Nana, but a bit too far to walk from NEP. If that's where you're staying be sure to check out the Soi Cowboy clubs which, like the NEP clubs, are only going at night.
The Rajah Mansion (Tel. 0-2253-4436, http://www.rajah-mansion.com ): 11,000 baht/month for an air-conditioned room with a bed, fridge, TV, and hard (fake wood) floors. Nice tile bathrooms. Utilities run about another 2000 baht / month; the units are individually metered. The hallways are clean, tiled, and they get mopped every day. It's pretty well-kept, but still old and haunted by Russian hookers. On the west side of Soi 4, south of the Bus Stop bar and restaurant. They also have a weekly rate (5000 baht) but that only includes one cleaning for the week. Not to be confused with the Rajah Hotel next door (just north). This is the high-season (December/January) rate, so try haggling if you're there in the off-season.
The DI Hotel. A refurbished hotel across Soi 4 from the Rajah. Small but nice room 800 baht (high season). Larger rooms for more.
Miscellanea:
Lólita's: My first-morning errands include a trip to Lólita's. (Just don't expect the girls to look like the ones pictured on that web site.) It's a short walk from the Nana BTS station: walk down Soi 8 and make a right just before the 7-11. You'll see the girls sitting outside around the entrance. You pick one and she takes you inside a rather dark, cheesy bar (web site to the contrary again). It's 700 baht to go upstairs where she seats you on a couch and draws a curtain for privacy. She wipes your pecker off with a clean-wipe and then goes down on you, bareback and to completion if you like. You can fondle her. I want to save my initial big load for the evening's festivities, so I'm just there to relax and enjoy some erotic delight after the long flight. When I'm about to come I'll stop her and let that puppy cool off a minute, then let her resume. I repeat this a few times. It's fun. No one seems to be watching the time. See “Intimate Thai” below. It might come in handy at Lólita's.
The bar fine (to take a girl home) is exorbitant: 4000 baht! Once in a blue moon there will be a real cutie. That's when I indulge on the premises and throw caution to the wind regarding disease. You can sure catch a "pee-pee cold" there. If I find myself taking a long time to choose, I'll pass on Lólita's.
Massage: Jet lag doesn't bother me too much going to Asia, but the first day I'll have a two-hour oil massage in the afternoon so that I can safely doze off (during the massage) without sleeping all day, and after that I'm good. First-day ritual. The massage places I check out are the Bangkok Health Spa, kitty-corner across Sukhumvit Road from NEP (on the west side of Soi 3), and the massage place on the north side of the tunnel between Soi 5 and Soi 7. Needless to say there are many, many more around there. Personnel change frequently and you never know who you'll find. Last year in the tunnel I found a pretty 18 year-old masseuse with HOOTERS! She was menstruating but I got to oil-massage those big brown knockers. Oh man was that fun! :^)
If no one appeals to me in the massage parlors, Pat will come to my room and give me a two-hour oil massage for 750 baht. 500 more for a "special" massage, i.e. a hand job. (But save it for tonight! :-) Pat's number is 08-4622-1560. She's a nice girl who speaks enough English.
Cell Phone: If your cell phone has a SIM card, congratulations: it's a "GSM" phone, the kind that most of the world uses. Bring it to Thailand. (I consider a cell phone absolutely mandatory for Pattaya, by the way.) If you obtained your cell phone stateside, you will probably have to get it "unlocked" so that it can be used with carriers other than your stateside carrier. This unlocking procedure can be done at any of the many phone places on the 4th floor of the MBK (Mahboonkrong) shopping mall. (Take the BTS to the National Stadium station. Try the impressive food court on the 6th floor while you're there.) And you can pick up an Asian charger dirt cheap if you're worried about frying your home charger. DISCLAIMER: Unlocking hasn't harmed any of my phones, but I don't know anything about the newer “app” phones like the iPhone.
You buy a SIM card (new phone number) and pre-paid minutes. (If you get SMS messages that are partially blacked-out, those are Thai characters that your phone doesn't know how to render.)
Serious serial philanderers might want to change phone numbers once in a while because it might save you some “splainin'.” I had the same Thai phone number for a couple of years and the day I arrived I got calls from girlfriends who did not know I was coming! They call every day to check whether you're in country. Once I poked my head into an NEP club --just my head through the door curtain for only two seconds-- before proceeding to Rainbow II (another club). As soon as I sat down I got an SMS from a girlfriend in the first club: "Where are you?" 8-[]
Medical Certificate / Medical Anything: Bumrungrad Hospital is a ten-minute walk from NEP.
Expensive by Thai standards but cheap by ours, and top-notch. You can get a certificate with your name and photo on it stating in Thai that you don't have anything serious. (You can't get that stateside.) It's certainly not required and most guys probably don't bother, but it seems to put some girls a bit more at ease. The wait to see most doctors is normally just a few minutes, but the wait to see a urologist can be a serious wait (not a joke). Excellent food court on the mezzanine of the main building.
Charlie's Kitchen East side of Soi 4, steps from Nana Plaza. Consistently good food as of this writing. Not too expensive by farang standards, and pretty quick service. Beats hiking over to Soi 5 to eat at Foodland/Took La Dee, which is now shut down anyway.
Intimate Thai:
Writing Thai phonetically with Roman letters is nearly futile, but I chose these phrases because I think your pronunciation will come close enough to be understood:
| THAI | Pronunciation hint | ENGLISH |
| LEE-ahh | | lick |
| JOOPB | Rhymes with "poop." That last consonant is in between a B and a P, sort of a blend of the two. | kiss |
| tee-nee | | here |
| noy | Rhymes with “toy.” | A word that softens a command. Example: JOOPB tee-nee means "Kiss here." But JOOPB tee-nee noy is more like "Why don't you kiss it here for me, babe?" |
| bow-bow | Rhymes with "bow wow" or "chow chow." | gently |
| bow-bow noy | | gently please |
| cha-chahh | | slowly or slower |
| chawpb | | I like |
| DEE-DEE | | wonderful |
Learning to read and write Thai will boost your abilities to remember and pronounce words. If you ever
go up to Esarn country, nothing is in English; all the signs are in Thai.
Clubbing at NEP:
NEP bar fines usually run 600 baht, plus another 2000 to the girl for short time. It's fun to explore. It's the low season and most places weren't hopping until well after 9 p.m. Downright empty at 8 p.m.
If you're a serial philanderer like some guys (ahem), there's no way to avoid being seen as you funnel through the plaza entrance, especially since they removed all that stuff that was in the courtyard. NEP has a thousand eyes. Some girls have a sister working the door at a club, and she will spot you with another girl and tell on you. But if you're staying at the Nana Hotel you can just pay bar, arrange for your date to meet you at the hotel, and walk out all alone like the good Catholic boy that you are. :-)
Don't sweat the lady-boy clubs. Yah jahbp phom means "Don't touch me." Yah-mah-YOONG gahbp phom ("Don't come with me, mosquitos") is less threatening and seems to work better. If they know you're not interested they'll usually leave you alone.
I like the Rainbow clubs. At Rainbow II, girl number 005 is different from girl 5 (confusing). They'll tell you that the "00" prefix means that that girl can't leave NEP and that you can only bang her in one of the rooms there. They'll also hint that the girl is underage, but the "double-naught" girls I saw were no doubt in their twenties. I also like Mandarin and Playskool [sic].
Poke around. You never know what you'll find. The nice thing about the clubs is that the girls are on stage in bikinis or panties, so you can see what you're getting. No unpleasant surprises in your room. (For example, I don't like implants. It's like humping on Frankenstein.)
I'm curious to know what this tattoo means. Tattoos make me sick but she was so young and cute (from the front) that I had to investigate. Found her in the Mercury Club on the 2nd floor of NEP near the top of the escalator. I think it's Japanese. Can anybody translate?
Soi Cowboy is another bunch of clubs near the Asok BTS station. Once I walked into a club there and we were all wading waist-deep in Styrofoam packing peanuts under black lights. It was kind of cool. :-)
Escape to Pattaya:
A taxi runs 1200 or 1300 baht. Alternatively, you can take the BTS to the Ekkamai bus station and take the bus for 120 baht, but you're separated from your luggage and sometimes the buses run late, plus you still have to pay for a baht bus in Pattaya.
Don't hesitate to check out Pattaya. There you don't have to know where to go because the whole town exists for the hobby. You trip over bar girls. Rooms and girls are both less expensive. The subject of another report.
Final F*** Engineering (for the last day):
In my experience,Thai bar girls are usually late. If you schedule a tryst before taking off for the airport, just assume she will be two hours late and plan accordingly, or have her stay over that last night. Every time I called two girls to come over (to make sure I'd get one or the other) they both showed up and I had to fix it, so I don't recommend that unless you're Houdini.
Before You Go:
• A packing checklist is smart for essentials like: a hoodie for the flight, earplugs for the clubs, and whatever else you don't want to forget.
• Tell your bank or credit union when you're going to Thailand to make sure your ATM card will work. My Visa card has always worked anyway but now I call Visa too, just to make sure. There are so many scams that CUswirl has Thailand on a list of countries requiring special precautions.
• Go to http://travel.state.gov/ and select Thailand from the drop-down list. It's free. I've never run into any of the scams they describe, but they're on that page because they were reported by other Americans.
• Mostly for other countries, I travel with a money belt to hold cash and cards that I don't need handy. First I put everything in a Ziploc bag so it doesn't get sweaty, and then put that in the money belt. Upon arrival I put the money belt in a hotel safe.
| By Smuckin on Wednesday, July 13, 2011 - 10:26 am: Edit |
nice well written report , please post some pics , we all appreciate them.
Costar, great report. this is exactly what i looked for when i first started the hobby. all the information is already here on the sight but this report is a good complete updated first adventure kind of guide.
i agree with the hoodie! i always bring mine because i don't want to lay my head on their pillows or seat as well as it being cold.
with the phone, i unlocked my iPhone from the states but the thing with that is, i can't update my iTunes or my phone will lock again. Asian countries can only unlock up too a certain version. that may have changed.
the tattoo i suspect is the Buddist prayer/mantra many girls have in Thai characters on their backs here.
other than that, thank you again for a good report. and post those pics! many here will appreciate them!
Nice report. I appreciate the nitty gritty details of the Nana, that's just the kind of tip that makes a report worth reading.
Due to the overgrown new Suvanrabhumi being so far from the city it has really made no sense to take spend one night's Pattaya hotel money on a taxi to Bangkok on your first night. My last trip to Bangkok demonstrated this to me as Soi Cowboy was a shadow of its former self and even the Nana parking lot was dearth of women at 2:30 AM.
But the airport train testimony means Bangkok is now a practical destination with a 150 baht fare. I've waited for the Bell bus to Pattaya before and it sucks waiting. Taking the shuttle to the bus station is no better you just wait there. It's nice to know there's a cheap and easy way to get into Bangkok again and you can take the BTS to the bus station in the morning to Pattaya.
The clearing out of the Bangkok courtyard is welcome news. I still remember my first trip to Bangkok almost 10 years ago. Last night, hanging out with a buddy at one of I think 2 beer bars in the early evening in an open feeling Nana plaza before the go gos got going. It's nice to know that's a possibility again.
| By 694me on Saturday, July 16, 2011 - 09:05 pm: Edit |
I still think $1,900 for LAX to BKK is more than I want to pay and getting to Nana a 1 am is not bad.
BTW, Costar, very nice and helpful report! I'm off to Pattaya/Phuket/Bangkok in 2 1/2 weeks. You're info will be useful. Thanks!
very nice informative report , thank you for your effort....knowledge I hope to use in the near future
| By Admin on Tuesday, July 19, 2011 - 02:14 pm: Edit |
Admin: Heated discussion moved to -Off-Topic-: -Entertainment: Outside: Photo Request
thank you very much for a excellent intro to thailand..at first i thought ooh a shill tout for thai air..but i went on and realized this was a great report and very informative ..blah blah blah..very glad for the info
Here is what you do if you really want to post the pictures and avoid criticism...wait a week or two after the last post in this thread and then simply email them to hombre to post in the multimedia. The pictures wont show up in this thread, but will post to the multimedia section. That way you can share the pictures without the usual commentary.
The truth is the majority of the women posted to this forum are youthful and better then what most here could come up with in Australia, the US or where ever they might be from. There are on occasion women who look dubious and those are usually the older heavier variety which some here might or might not appreciate. Also the ones with unsightly scars or bad dental work...
Most of the time when someone says the women are ugly its because they don't appreciate the commentary in the report or the style of the poster. Many times the women are actually attractive, but the Hombres will unfairly take it out on the ladies rather then the poster. If the ladies are fairly slender, youthful and without obvious abnormalities then post away. Whatever the peanut gallery has to say, let us be the judge of attractiveness. Don't mind them. Of course, if there is something obviously wrong like the lady is 40 years old, 300 lbs with some bad dental work then you can expect a little negative commentary of course...so use your own judgement...a report full of pictures is more informative then one without...thanks for posting and your time btw, I know these reports are so time consuming to put together.
| By Mitchc on Sunday, July 24, 2011 - 08:58 pm: Edit |
than
Portege, are you Australian?
He said he was a disabled American before so who knows?
Not nice to pick on a disable vet, but at least you can feel sorry for him.
MM
Who said he was a vet? Also the statement was to show that he is leaving conflicting information about himself.
Conflicting information? Conspiracy theories? You guys have got to lay off that Vodka and also that crack pipe too.
| By Costar on Friday, July 29, 2011 - 08:11 am: Edit |
@Chumslick: I just included flight info because I thought it was customary. (Most people seem to include it.) I also wanted to state my reasons for flying Thai because my friends think it's crazy to spend so much on airfare. Award trips bring the average down to about $1400 per trip, not too bad for nonstop service.
I got access to business class flat $2,500 or first $3000. Reliable and a hell of a lot more comfortable from the states
| By Costar on Thursday, September 08, 2011 - 07:32 pm: Edit |
Just an update: Suvarnabhumi airport now has plenty of visible signs to the airport link: "Train to City."
As an aside, there are now five (5) BTS (Skytrain) stations beyond Oh Nut, and six (6) beyond Saphan Taksin. (I may be dating myself but those were end-stations for years and years.)
There has been a lot of visible progress here this year. (I'm sure Yingluck will accept the credit despite that stuff having already been paid for. I still can't believe the Thais replaced an Oxford-educated economist with someone who had never been elected to anything.)
| By Laguy on Thursday, September 08, 2011 - 08:59 pm: Edit |
Are you sure about the five BTS Skytrain stations beyond On Nut (sp?). I was there a few weeks ago, and On Nut was still the terminal station, i.e., everyone on the train got out there; the train then turned around and everyone waiting got on an empty train.
| By Costar on Friday, September 09, 2011 - 02:47 am: Edit |
Yep. The terminal station going that way now is Bearing. In the stations the sign says Bearing instead of Oh Nut. So they must have just opened it up since you were here. There's even a Wikipedia page on it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bearing_Station
On to more important things: I wish I could exchange some of my relief for some of your energy! (Whoever figures out how to do that will make a fortune.) I'm down in Pattaya now and I'm so worn out I can't even walk straight. Heading back to the Philippines tomorrow.
(Message edited by costar on September 09, 2011)
| By Laguy on Friday, September 09, 2011 - 11:33 am: Edit |
Yes, the Wikipedia entry says it opened August 12 and I rode out to On Nut shortly before then.
Thanks for the information.
Well your directional options will no longer be "One nut" or "More shit" (Mo Chit). I always thought both were unappealing.
| By Laguy on Friday, September 09, 2011 - 08:03 pm: Edit |
But thankfully you can still go Bang Sue if you use the subway. They're not gonna take that away from me!
| By Costar on Saturday, November 19, 2011 - 07:38 pm: Edit |
Come to think of it, the simplest way to get someone to leave you alone is to just say "my ow." ("Ow" rhymes with "cow.") That will be understood and is probaby easier for most of you to remember. It's more dismaying because the Thais aren't used to hearing it from farang. Whoever it is will back off.
It just means "I don't want."
| By Costar on Thursday, July 05, 2012 - 07:46 am: Edit |
LAPTOP REPAIR AT PANTHIP PLAZA!
My netbook fell apart and was unusable. I was debating whether to leave its remains here or take them back to the states to have the disk destroyed. A girl who came to my room told me that they fix 'em at PP.
A guy named Pop at KD Computers charged me 1500 baht and told me to come back in three hours. Good as new! 
What a relief! There are probably other repair booths there as well.
Take the Skytrain to the Ratchathewi station. (If you're coming from Nana, it's one stop past Siam.) From there it's a 30 baht scooter ride to Panthip Plaza. It opens at 10 a.m.
| By Costar on Sunday, July 15, 2012 - 09:15 am: Edit |
I found the guy's card. I don't mean to plug this particular business. I'm just reporting that he did a bang-up job of fixing my netbook, which was pretty banged-up itself. It was a huge relief!
And again, there may be several outfits like this at Panthip Plaza.
The top line is kind of amusing if you read Thai. The part before KD (rawn) means "store." The part after KD is a phonetic spelling of "computer": Kawm-pew-tuh
Cute, huh? 
| By Costar on Sunday, November 18, 2012 - 05:30 pm: Edit |
Forgot to mention the huge beds at the Nana Hotel. These are not measured by King, Queen, Full, etc. They are measured in acres! There's no real mattress and box spring this big, so the mattresses are foam. Which is nice if you have a long-timer who fidgets; this way she doesn't keep you awake all night. The place is still a bomb-shelter, though; its main redeeming factor is its steps-away proximity to Nana Plaza.
Some updates, mostly good:
The Nana area has gotten some sprucing up, and the bars adjacent to Nana Plaza on Soi 4 have also gotten a facelift. Notice the bar named Zen to the right of the NP entrance. THAT PLACE GOES THROUGH, i.e. you can enter on Soi 4, go through, and walk out the back into the plaza --under an awning, invisible to the clubs on the north side or any on the 2nd and 3rd levels! So now you can access the plaza without getting spotted going through that damn bottleneck entrance! This is a blessing if you're two-timing and want to avoid getting busted. Makes it easier.
Foodland is open again on Soi 5! The joke's on me because (I learned today) that it's been open most of this year. But since all the reconstruction, you can't see it until you're almost right in front of it. The new counter seats about twice as many people, but it's still packed for their 65-baht breakfast deal.
Their menu item #51 "Black sesame seed dumplings in hot ginger syrup" (which some Thais call "boo-loy") is the second biggest reason I come to Thailand. Even if you normally don't go for Asian desserts, consider trying this one.
Just for those unfamiliar with Nana, here is a shot of Sukhumvit Road where many hookers hang out. They all turned away or split when they saw the camera come out:
Rents in Bangkok have gone cock-outrageous in the past few years. I don't yet know why the demand is up, but somebody's moving here. I saw a nice studio apartment in the Trendy Building, a newer building around Soi 11/13. It comes furnished and goes for 25,000/month plus utilities (electricity and water). If you can find anything nice in Bangkok for less than $800/month, please let us know where it is.
Going to BKK in October.
I'll be staying at the Majestic Grande.
I want to stay "close to the action" but I have some "snobbish" tendencies..
Any thoughts on this Location?
Can someone direct me to any posts that will be the best for a newbie in BKK?
I haven't been on this site in years and trying to re-find my way around!
Any help would be appreciated
J6
Nana_July2011