Posted by Matiz on December 07, 2000 at 10:59:55:
In Reply to: Something that really bothers me... posted by TJHombre on December 06, 2000 at 22:13:08:
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Your comment about the board being here to aid guys involved in "relatively safe prostitution" gets to the core of this controversy. By our simple act of engaging in this hobby at whatever level, all of us live in glass houses of one sort or another. Since it's a given that even covered vaginal intercourse has some risk, however small, of HIV transmission, everything comes down to what risk is acceptable. Each individual must decide that for himself. And you, as moderator, must then decide where, if at all, to draw the line between discussions that, in your opinion, constructively discuss this issue and those that, in your opinion, undercut the goals you've outlined. It's an extremely difficult decision to make, and I sympathize with you, but I guess it goes with the territory of being a moderator. Whatever you decide we'll deal with it. But I did want to comment on your concerns that there will be those readers who buy the "low risk" argument and possibly contract HIV. First, while such readers may exist hypothetically, I am too much of a cynic to believe that such naive readers are actually out there. My favorita once told me she had been offered as much as $500 for a bareback quickie. (She declined, saying what good is the money to her if she's dead.) It made me realize in a dramatic way that there are and will always be guys for whom the quality of the immediate experience is more important than the long-term consequences. I'm not making a moral judgment. We each have a different "risk threshold", and there is frankly nothing you, nor I, nor anyone else can do about that, no matter how much information you put out there or how much you try to control what you feel is "bad" information. Second, if you assume that you share some responsibility for a reader getting HIV who was convinced by information he saw on this board, then you also have to assume that one of this board's responsibilities must be to inform, and accurately inform, mongers about the medical risks of this hobby. This is a slippery slope. If the medical risks, why not the legal, social, and physical (e.g., mugging) risks as well? By making that initial assumption, you are taking on a huge responsibility that belongs with the readers themselves and that I'm not sure you really want or need to shoulder. I'm not saying discussion of these issues isn't appropriate, just that ultimately, you shouldn't feel you have to take on the resonsibility for whether a particular individual accepts or rejects the information here, and then might be ultimately harmed in some way by his reliance on that information. When the discussion gets down to the nitty gritty of the risks we've each concluded are acceptable to us personally, we all get uncomfortable and fidgety. None of likes to be reminded of how vulnerable our glass house can be. But simply by engaging in this hobby, each of us, not you, has undertaken the responsibility for that vulnerability. That too goes with the territory. Just because you've taken on the thankless technical task of being mayor of this electronic Mongertown, you don't also have to assume responsibilities that more properly belong to each of us.
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