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Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December.
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred
since the beginning of the month! (While filled with illusion I wrote you
this letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller
blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole
year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in
the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in
my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my
brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would ! go on errands and even
help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't
do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A
PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH,
THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH
SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME
ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING
TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN
MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL FUCK YOU UP!" I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID
ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO
WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE
YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA,
FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FUCKING
BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG!
SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH! Sincerely,
Johnny
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