Posted by YoungBrig on March 29, 2001 at 13:59:11:
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Folks: YB descended upon the Zona anoche and had his first run-in con la policia de Tijuana... I have a nueva novia in TJ ahora and after not being able to reach her cell for a week from the U.S. I pop into a phone station on the West Side of Ratero Hill about 10:30 pm and whammo!-- instantly I am connected...it is late but she wants to see me and invites me out to her residencia, in the Cumbres de Rubi neighborhood of TJ...somewhere in the general area of la tienda Siete Gallos... Of course, I have no idea of where the fetch that is but I manage to commandeer una especial taxi on the corner of Madera and Articulo 123...we eventually connect to avenida Fundadoras and drive deep into the TJ hinterlands...It is late and I am far from the comfort zone of La Coahuila and this particular area of TJ is marked by a high degree of disintigration and disorganization (actually, rather similar to the Zona, in retrospect)and I am beginning to think that perhaps this was not such a hot idea...particularly considering the fact that I am one lost motherfetcher... Well, we go over a hellacious bump and the poor cabbie's pesos (rolled into a towel on the dash) go flying everywhere so he slams on the brakes on some godforsaken lonely calle and begins frantically searching for his lost dinero...I pitch in to help and he is cussing like crazy and then he suddenly floors the taxiwagon in a fit of frustration, I think, and sure enough, the flashing lights of the TJ police are soon behind us... My conscience is clear and I know that I am clean (no drogas or alcohol for YB, you all know that), but what unnerves me is the little tab of Vitamin V that I happen to have in my backpocket...the officer asks me to step out and spread-em and empty my pockets and must ask me at least 10 times if have any drogas...I am debating as to whether or not I should empty everything else and try and keep the viagra in my pocket but-- fortunately-- the pill is still in the blisterpack so I determine to flip it casually next to the pile of my other cosas on top of the hood (cell phone, candy, gum, keys...a literal pile)... In the meantime the police are examining a bullet that they found in the cab and the cabbie is grinning and trying to explain as the gold bullet glints beneath the glare of the flashlights and I am thinking dios mio and trying not to look too obviously at my upside-down package of Viagra resting on a pile of gum...I emphasize with all the sincerity that YB can muster that I am only trying to get to the home of mi novia and that I have traveled a larga distancia por verte and I only have one day to see her and that si, this is mi primera vez in los Cumbres... He asks me "De donde eres?" and I say San Francisco and then he checks my ID and it states San Jose and he raises an eyebrow as if he has finally found a hole in my story...the cops are still hunched over the bullet and YB is surely wishing for the safety and security of Miami Bar about this time...I look around and see nothing but overgrown lots and crumbling concrete dwellings throught the swirl of the police lights... Finally I am ordered to pickup my things and return to the car and it is a shaking YB that tries to casually retrieve his Viagra tab...after a few more minutes the police relent and let the poor cabbie go...I asked him if they fined him or issued a ticket and he said no, nothing...he was pale and looked rather discombobulated...sort of how I looked, I imagine... Now for the happy ending: at the crest of a nearby hill we find the tienda Siete Gallos and I recognize mi amor's lookout (her 10-yr old primo on a bicicleta), and I realize that once again God had chosen to show favor upon the litte Saint YB and I was soon in the brazos of my little babe.... Conclusions: Mongers, keep the Viagra in the blisterpack until ready for use...however, I am still unsure as to whether the cop saw it and was unconcerned, or if he thought it was gum or whatever...Yo no se... I can emphatically state this however: if crumbling infrastructure and unpaved roads are what turn your particular crank, I highly recommend a trip out to los Cumbres...the trek will unquestionably be a real treat... YoungBrig
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