An old question, worth discussion. My simple answer is ABSOLUTELY give it a try if you have a chance. My experience:

`“Cuales son sus intensiones con me hija?” This is not the type of question that you would expect from the mother of a working TJ chica. I had spoken to her mother on the phone twice before. Both conversations were short and seemingly cold. I had already formed an image in my mind of the mother being very much like the mother in “Like Water for Chocolate”…. tough, cold hearted, suspicious.

I had called my amiga the night before. “Puedo hablar a Paula, por favor?”(Not her real name) “No! Esta infirma. Llamada mañana.” Click. The next night, I had to summon up a little courage to call my amiga. And, catering to my fears, the mother answered, not only with her cold manner, but with the mother of all questions, “ Su nombre es___?” “Si”. “What are your intentions with my daughter?” To say that I was taken aback is a huge understatement. I stuttered and stammered in my barely intermediate Spanish, first explaining that “Mi español no es muy bueno.” And then trying to tell her that I really had no intentions, other than being a true and honest friend to her daughter. She put the phone down, without comment. A minute later, Paula was there.

How did it get to this point, where I am talking to chica’s mother, a thousand miles away? The short answer is that on her last two visits home, we have talked by phone, about twice a week. But, there is a longer answer. There is a story here. It is one that I want to write down for myself. Because in that phone call, my amiga told me the news that I had started to dread, and that I thought was not coming for a few months. She told me that she was able to close escrow on her new house (a thousand miles away). The last time she and I discussed it, she was hoping to close in the spring, work a couple of more months, and then retire. With this happy news, I knew that the timetable had been moved up several months. Now, she might be moving back home by the end of March. I tried to sound happy for her.

But, my biggest fear was coming true. A few months ago, I had tried to break off the relationship because I feared the emotions that were developing. It was especially fearsome for me with a working chica, although I had learned to trust her. But, there was also the differences is culture, and the difference in age. But, we worked through it, mostly through her problem solving skills. At that time, I decided to take off the brakes and go for it, knowing that chances were, someday, I would pay the price. Now, I can almost feel the loneliness. Here is more of the story.

As a happy monger, I had enjoyed the pleasures of TJ for about 1-½ years. AB was my regular hangout, but, for a change, I occasionally went to CC, Tropical, Miami, but always made it back to AB. It was comfortable. I was a regular, and treated everyone right. I was told by a couple of chicas, that all the chicas knew me and that I was considered a preferred client.

Last year, I had read with some interest the Redsnake thread “To Favorita or not to Favorita” I remember not even seeing two sides to the question. With so many choices, why limit yourself? However, some of the posts were intriguing, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to really get to know one of these chicas.

Now, I am almost full circle is the process of having a full on relationship with a TJ chica. But, the end is in sight. And even though I am at this moment feeling sad, I would not have missed this experience for anything. Considered in total, the experience has been one of the best adventures in my life, it has paid emotional dividends I never imagined, not to mention the education. 18 months of mongering is like kindergarten compared to the education of 9 months of involvement with a working chica. I have been to birthday parties, bachelor parties, weddings, funerals, baptisms, witnessed abortions, slept at my amigas apartment, seen her shave an amiga’s pussy, to name a few memories that stand out. But none of these experiences compare to the 6 month long experience of pealing away, one by one, the defensive layers around my amigas heart. It is like pealing the layers of an onion. Except, in the middle, it is pure gold.

The Beginning

Well, friends, let me tell you that without ever making a conscious decision to have a favorita, it can sneak up on you, and hook you, before you know it. I can only see things in retrospect. I did not see the telltale signs along the way, but see them clearly now. Here are some of the memorable key events.

1. My amiga greeted me by name for two months before we ever shared a beer, a dance, or, of course, arriba. She later told me that she had over heard other chicas talking about me (it was all-good) and she was trying to be friendly. After a few times of her using my name, I had to find out her name, and was proud to respond “Hola Paula” the next time I saw her.
2. On our 4th occasion together, she stopped faking the big O and admitted that she had never had an O with a client, or even with a man. Silently, I decided to take this on as a project. Little did I know that it would be a 3-month project. It was a fun project to work on, and extremely satisfying to complete. I’d put this project on the personal satisfaction level equal to that of building a redwood patio.
3. About time #7, as we were renting a room from the guy that never smiles, she blurted out “por la noche”. I was shocked but happily paid the extra money. We were about 3 weeks into the O project. I sensed progress. I did not know we were only scratching the surface. But, this was really a special night, because for the first time, she fell asleep in my arms. I loved her sleeping in my arms, hearing her breathing become deeper, feeling her body twitch as she relaxed. Once I knew she was sound asleep, I inched my arm out a little so that I could focus on her face. What a perfect face, flawless complexion, thick, beautiful hair, eyebrows that should be in a cosmetics commercial, a nose that should be in a plastic surgeon’s ad, and lips that are slightly full, very kissable, and sooo sexy.

She slept for about an hour. My right arm also slept for about an hour. It was numb and just hung from my shoulder until the circulation returned.
Later, as we were leaving the hotel, she gave me her phone number, and asked for mine. Three days later, she called, just to say she was thinking about me.
4. Around time #9 we agreed to meet for dinner and then go to my hotel, away from the zona.
Later in the room she called her child. A few minutes into the conversation, she asked if I
wanted to say hi. My only apprehension was my level of Spanish. Could a four year old
understand a gringo struggling to learn Spanish? It was a great conversation! Now, my
amiga says that he rushes to the phone if he thinks it might be me.
5. About this time she asked if I could come to TJ on a Sunday to go out with her and 2 amigas
(both from AB). I jumped at the chance and during the evening, a profound realization set in.
I’ll never forget the moment the thought crossed my mind. THESE ARE NORMAL GIRLS.
They are happy, they are talking about family, friends, and cute guys that pass by. I could
Have been sitting with 3 twenty-something woman from my office. It was amazing,
6. Project O was starting to show unmistakable progress after about two months. The body
language told all. Also, we developed a ritual of sharing a bath before jumping in bed.
Another sign was the huge amount of kissing she now loved as we lay in bed. Also, she was
regularly falling asleep with her head on my shoulder, something that I always love.
7. We were now meeting regularly out of the zona on her days off, and occasionally meeting at
AB if I was in TJ on a workday. But, I was not comfortable at AB. One reason is that if I was there, I received all of her attention and felt that I was depriving her of working. Luckily, about this time she asked me not to come to AB, except to pick her up. She was also feeling uncomfortable with me at AB.
8. Somewhere in the process, we started having philosophical discussions. These were fascinating to me. Here I am a gringo, hearing the fears, hopes, dreams, and life experiences of a young Mexicana, raised deep in the heart of Mexico.
9. In the summer, I began to feel that emotionally, I was hurdling uncontrollably through space. I missed her when we were not together. I thought of her daily. Sometimes for a couple of weeks, when I would not see her in AB, I would even forget the kind of work she did. Finally, one night, missing her, I decided to end the impossible situation. Of course, it didn’t work. I foolishly returned to AB to make sure she was OK, agreed to have one beer together, and before I knew it, we were back to the races.
10. Four months have now passed since the breakup. It has gone flawlessly. Project O was completed within a week of ending the breakup. Then the intimacy, the trust, the sharing spread into other areas. She asked for advice in managing her money. I realized that she trusts me implicitly. It’s amazing. Some of that help enabled her to close on the house early.

The Now

She has been back from vacation for a week. I met her flight. I did not want to wait another day. We have spent two nights together this week. Both nights were physical, emotion filled experiences. Yes, she plans to work another 2-3 months to build a nest egg. She does not want our relationship to end. I can stay at her house as long as I want. However, the 1,000 miles will make quite a difference from the 90 miles that is now the distance between our casas.

On our first night together this week, I could tell that she was excited to tell me something else. She would not say, but I would not give up. It was fun for both of us. I threatened a complete body search. She readily agreed. I thought I had found it when I found the 3-week-old bush in her jeans. She knew that I preferred a natural bush but she preferred a vertical mustache as a working chica. I never made a big deal about it. When I asked her “por que?” she said “Pensé que lo quisiera.” I did like it. This is one example of a string of thoughtful little things that have made this a great experience.

But there were more little surprises that night. Responding to my question “Anything else new?” she reached in her purse and withdrew something that looked like a passport, but she clutched it to her breast. “Me excitan sobre esto.” Then she showed it to me. I reached for it. It was a passport, a new one, issued to her. She had applied for the passport when she was home in the summer and picked it up on her Xmas visit.

She told me tourista priorities as Disneyland, Hollywood, Las Vegas, and San Francisco. “Will you take me?” She surprised me with her clearly stated question in English. “Como no. Con gusto” I said without giving it much thought. But the questions quickly started to form in my mind. How long would we be gone? Would she actually sleep at my house for a night or two? Would I then have pictures of her in my house, to go along with my TJ pictures? The questions are endless.

This was the night of surprises. As we were preparing to go to sleep, she said “I want to read for a few minutes” “OK” I said, not knowing what was coming. She reached into her bag and withdrew a book. I could tell by the bookmark that she was almost half way through. As she lay back, opened the book, and started reading, I could see the title, “Conversacionales Ingleses.”

The Future

Quien sabe? She is moving home. I can’t give up my job and move 1,000 miles into Mexico. But, I’m not going to worry about it today, tomorrow, or next week. One of the great lessons I’ve learned from Mexicanas/Mexicanos is that life is too short to worry about things more than a day or two out in the future.

Wonderful story,I wrote a post blasting the cynics today about not being able to find love and romance in the Zona but I thought better about posting it. Now I don't have to,your story says it all.

WHISTLER-PLEASE EMAIL ME.THANKS,
AMAMENENA
scotty71349@hotmail.com

Whistler,

A rare and intriguing story.

One thing, you said "I can’t give up my job and move 1,000 miles into Mexico." Are you sure? Now that would be a life-time experience! You only live once and you could always come back if you want. Perhaps take 3 months leave without pay, go there, get an apartment close by, max out a new credit card if need be, and see what happens.

----------------------------

Here's my story.

I'm at the beginning of the journey you just completed and am feeling much trepidation. For many years after my divorce I ignored women and proudly taught friends the meaning of the word misogyny. Recent frequent trips to AB have again opened Pandora's box. It's quite a dilemma. On one hand there are opportunities to experience some new, strong, roller coaster emotions with a woman of a different culture and on the other hand I'm losing the happy go lucky, sleep well at night, comfortable emotional plateau I've lived on for a long time (hence, here I am posting at 3 AM).

At this point it would take some doing to close the box again, in fact I'm not sure I can. So I'm going to let things evolve as slowly as I can, try to be a wise gentleman and not a fool (which will be difficult to pull off ;-)) and enjoy this experience.

Whistler, just prepare yourself for the day when you find out that your chica has a novio......

L.D.V./Mana/Whistle/monger/cromagnuman/paramicium
All you single and billion cell animals, been
there done that! You guys are so damn worried,
and about what??? If anyone ever read any of my posts way back when, I aways said F.F.F. forget
them (chicas that is). You see, the lure to open
pandoras box and experince something that no college course could ever give you is extremely tempting. I believe there was a movie called the 'Last temptation of Mongers' or something like that ;-).

Guys, it will all depend on the chica you choose
which will determine your emotional roller coaster that you are going to be riding. My advice, if you have never felt the true passion of life, never 24/7 a chica from mexico, never seen her side of the family outside of the work place, never bathed in the nude in a river with her, never made love everyday for months straight, never had hours of BBBJ perform while driving the coast, never made love in the day light in a car, on a hood, never had anal while watching her perform the cowgirl acky breaky dance, never came a total of 5 or 6 times in a day, never thought your 'happy' was going to fall off due to over work of a nymph, never had shower sex then had her swallow you dry only to repeat,
well then, life is very short in relation to cosmic years, why, our years in the zone is really only a nano second of a supernova exploding. Live life to the fullest, its very very short, experience all there is to experince
in life and don't hold back. If the relationship does not work out, you still will be fulfilled
in regards to one of lifes most complex and passionate experinces and thats to have fallen in love with a Latina from Mexico. Good luck to the guy who ventures out and crosses the line of client and into novio ;-), it is virgin world in which very few can ever experience and appreciate.

If the relationship does not work out down the road and you return to the single monger life, you will look at your mongering in a whole new
and different way. Your appreciation towards the women will increase because of the experience
that you have shared with your novia/latina.
Say it can't happend? There are probably many on this board who know what i'm talking about and are currently involved in a similar relationship.
I would have to say that the best advice to take is to follow your heart and listen to what it is telling you because only you know for certain if you want to be involved with a chica from Mexico.


Let it be said, let it be written.
Raiders.

Raiders,

Actually I was with the gal who has captured my imagination for a few hours yesterday. Tried to be as cool as I could and let her do the talking. Seems we're on the same wavelength. Agreed that we would get out of the zone this weekend so I'm driving over. I like your "hours of BBBJ perform while driving the coast" idea. I've been there before and that is fun! Perhaps a cruise to La Fonda is in order.

So, I'm just going to let it roll, keep real, and enjoy.

Raiders, you said it extremely well. The monger experience can be thrilling and intoxicating. The novio experience is on a whole different plane ... still thrilling and intoxicating, but with many added rewards. Novio is high adventure, with the additions of intense emotional rewards, and a fascinating education.

I like your advice of just following your heart. Being open to the experience will increase the chances of it happening. However, novia possibilities are the exception and not the rule. The chicas with emotional and/or on drug problems make up a significant portion of the puta population and are not good candidates for a relationship, IMO.

It is like many things in life. The harder you try to make it happen, the less likely it is to happen. But, if you are content to begin with, and open to exploring whole new worlds with a chica, you have a good chance of attracting a like minded chica. Then, if she also turns you on sexually, let it flow. Of course, it will happen when you least expect it.

Be patient. These chicas are conditioned to the fickle ways of mongers. Earning their trust might take awhile. But, everything you invest in her will come back to you many fold.

Thanks for the wisdom guys. I have been seeing a girl for a month from C.C. She is getting ready to go back to Mexico City for a month. I have become very attached to her. She is definately not like the other girls. I was thinking of taking her out here in San Diego and spending some quality time with her before she goes back. After reading your posts I know that is what I want to do. I will have fun and not put large expectations on the outcome and be open to what happens. I am really going to miss her when she goes back. The honesty of this board really helped me in this situation.

Bone:

I had a favorita who finally went back home, but I cut a deal where I visit her every few months in her home town (she drops whatever guy she's seeing to spend time with me).

In many ways, it works out better than a trip to TJ, including the plane fare down to central Mexico.

“I’ll meet you in the U.S.” said my amiga with the new passport and visa. (See Favorita or Not To Favorita posted 1-16-01). “I’d like to pick you up in front of your place, as always, and we can cross together” I responded. But, she was insistent. She wanted to cross alone. She wanted to know that she could do it anytime she wanted.

And, so, my first U.S. adventure with my amiga was set, una cita, on her day off, a day we regularly spend together. Often, we spend the day at Plaza Rio, Cinepolis, and at the hotel, eating, drinking, swimming, … and, well, you know the rest.

But, this day was going to be different. On this day, I didn’t park in the $7 lot. There were no taxi rides. On this day, I was standing outside the U.S. customs office, waiting for her.

95% of the time, she is within 5 minutes of our cita. In the many months of dating, she has never been more than a few minutes late, something that I appreciate. One of my favorite pictures of her is her running down 4th St. in TJ, her hair blowing in the wind. We had had lunch that day. She had a couple of errands. I did not want to tag along. We agreed to meet an hour later at 4th and Rev. I was a couple of minutes early and decided to walk west on 4th and try to meet her. After about 20 steps, I see her ½ block away running down the sidewalk, in my direction. I ducked into a doorway. When she was about 40 feet away, in full stride, I snapped the first picture with the 2X zoom. The 2nd shot was about 15 feet, and we almost collided. “Why are you running?” I asked. “I didn’t want to be late” was her answer.

And she was not late today. She walked out of customs a couple of minutes before our agreed meeting time. I was standing off to the right. When our eyes met, she flashed her beautiful smile, and sprinted the few steps between us, pushing me into the fence. 49 kilos at a half-run will do that to me.

Kissing in public is a little embarrassing, but there is no way that I wanted to trim her exuberance. There is something wonderful about being with someone that is really happy to see you. And, exuberance, of course, is contagious. I would have stood there and kissed her for as long as she wanted. But, a minute later, we walked the long block to my car.

She does not drive. She has never had the opportunity to learn. We have never talked about cars. I don’t know what she expected, if she even gave it fore thought. Of course, being male, I was beaming with pride as we approached the car. I unlocked it from 15 feet away and the car responded with a friendly “beep-beep” and a flash of the taillights, the car's version of “Hola”.

She rewarded my male pride by giving the car a long look. Followed by an enthusiastic wolf whistle. I love chicas for all the usual reasons, but I love chicas that can whistle. I love chicas that drink beer. I love chicas that will wrestle with me in the grass. She is my type of chica, no matter what happens with us long term.

Within minutes of pulling onto the I-5, I am really stoked. All the time that she and I have spent together has been in MX, where I am the guest, I am the foreigner. I am the one that sometimes can’t communicate, or is sometimes not sure what is happening.

It’s odd. I was aware of the “follower” aspect of out relationship from the first trips upstairs at AB. Once we agreed on “Vamos arriba ahora mismo” she would lead the way out of AB, lead the way up the stairs, to the desk, and to the room. Sometimes, I did not even know the room number until we arrived at the room.

Things have changed since those early days. Today is VERY different! I look over at her and she is in my car, she is in my world. I have always been relaxed with her, but now, I’m really relaxed. I am in control. I like it. I really like it!!! Not because it gives me any advantage over her, but I really like having her in my car, holding hands, as we drive towards the afternoon that I have planned.

“Sabes adonde vamos” she asks. “Si, vamos a La Jolla. Tiene gusto de el.” We walked around, ate at a really cool place, and then went to the movies. Both of us loved “All the Pretty Horses” and it gave us a lot to talk about on the drive south, as the sun was setting.

A few times before, we have had days that were so full, that sex, left to the end of the day, didn’t happen. On this day, I was enjoying the activities so much that I had not thought much about sex, and had not made plans.

As we came off the “Last U.S. Exit” it was almost dark. She asked me to pull to the side of the road. Nothing seemed wrong. I was curious. She pulled my hand to her mouth, looked into my eyes, and said “No quisiera que el dia terminara. Encontremos un cuarto.” “Donde” I stupidly asked. “Tu sabes” she confidently replied. Three minutes later we were checking into the Travelodge.

Three hours later, we were parked in the turn-around at the border. After a long kiss she asks “Viene semana pasada?” “Si.” “TJ?” “Creo que si.” “Cuando vamos a Disneyland?” “No se.” I explained that Disney land could not be seen in one day, it takes two days. I will need vacation days. “Pero oremos, seguro.”

But, I am very anxious about Disneyland. If we go, it only makes sense that she spends a night at my house, in my bed. Then, she will really be in my life. That will shake me!!!

Obviously, I'm not sure that I can follow my own rule. My rule is that it is OK to love a working chica, it fact it is good to love a working chica. But, don't "fall in love" with a working chica.

Bravo Whistler - brought tears to my eyes - good luck... prog

Great time Whistler! It would be great (and very informative) to learn the logistics of how your chica got her visa/passport. Did you help with the process?

No, I did not help with the process and don't know many details. However, I know that the documents are legitiment. She surprised me when she returned from the holiday visit (post above). I also know that the visa was the most difficult of the two to get and I believe could only be gotten because she has assets in her name in MX, some combination of property and bank balance.

Whistler,

You're correct about assets and the visa. A legit job works too. But I guess that's not a player with these gals.

Whistler, awesome story. What strikes me as impressive and unusual about your tale is when you detailed watching your amiga running down the street so that she would be on time to meet you.

I have experienced and heard amigos tell how chicas were way late or totally flaked and didn't show at all. These chicas have a deserved rep based on history that says they are very unreliable and prone to being late as hell as a rule of thumb. That's not to say that all of them are like this, but it seems to be a common thread in conversation with other mongers. So when I read about your chica running to meet you I think you are a lucky guy to have such a chica. Geez, I almost view a date with a chica as a backup plan. :--)

Whistler, good posts, and been there done that.
Keep us posted on your on going events regarding
having a favorite in the U.S. Take advantage of
it and try to take her to as many places as possible........yet remember, if you 'fall in love' your life and times in the zone will come to a complete halt ;-). Ask your self if you are ready, if so, great, you will experience more than 100 years of mongering could ever allow you to experience because you can take this relationship to the next level. In my previous posts, I have always said that it is a must to at least experience being with a latina from mexico
24/7 at least once in life. Prepare yourself because you are about to go on an emotional roller coaster, more exciting than magic mountains collosal. You will now learn more than you could ever imagine just what makes your favorite tick, learn her likes, dislikes, her habbits, her happiness, her sadness, sex will become even more stimulating because its now just you and her to share each others emotion, love, and devotion. You will see all of her novellas, learn more spanish words, see and hear all kinds of crazy superstitions such as sweeping late at nite or lighting those st. candles. You will learn more about mexican food and what their names are. You may even have realitives visiting you, just don't be surprise, marry or act married to a latina, you then marry the family ;-). Good luck on your incredible adventure, if it does not work out down the road, you will be rewarded a million times over just for the shere experience!

Raiders.

Celtics, I've read the same thing many times about the chicas being late or not showing, and experienced it a couple of times with other chicas. One thing that has helped is that I am always on time for her, in fact usually early, so that she is not waiting. She knows that I am there.

I know what you mean about a back-up plan. It is better to have a plan and a back-up plan, or to have no plan at all, rather than just a plan...if that makes sense.

Raiders, you're right, my experience with a Latina from MX has truly been an awesome experience. Even just so far, I would not have imagined. I'm not anti U.S. women, but I can't see ever having an adventure like this with any American woman. At least not one that I've known, and there have been a few. I wonder what it is that gives Mexicanas their passion, spirit, and enthusiasm for life.

Your description of what might be ahead is beautifully written. It makes me not want to put the brakes on the relationship, when my instincts tell me to put the brakes on, at least partically. I'm not sure that I have the guts to take the whole tour, but I don't have to decide right now. Thank you for the preview. It sounds too good to pass up.

Whistler,

"I wonder what it is that gives Mexicanas their passion, spirit, and enthusiasm for life."

A guy like you maybe. Think about it, your $howing this chica the promi$ed land. $he's on cloud 9. Compare downtown TJ with downtown $an Diego a$ you drive through. We have it good here, at lea$t on a material level, which i$ what i$ mo$t important to mo$t mexicana$ we meet. $he's living her dream$ and you're the dream guide.
;-)

Have fun, it's the best thing you can do with your money!

Whistler:

Disneyland is awesome thru the eyes of a chica who is just discovering this land that is so very different from her home.

One of the best days of my life....

Brother LDV,
HA! Now THAT was some funny (and too true) $hit!

Whistler,
I don't know what your story is...married, gf, or single, but I was truly touched by your post. I have a couple of friends that are married to girls from Mexico and they are very happy. The girls weren't hookers before, but I don't know how much that really matters. Everybody has a past and they become a different person when they settle down. I 'm sure alot of people just couldn't get past the hooker thing, but consider this. If you want to marry a smart lady, marry a librarian; if you want a wife that makes alot of money, marry a doctor or lawyer; but if you want a wife that's gonna fuck you silly for the rest of your life and take care of your house and children, who do you think you should marry.....damn straight, a mexican hooker. I envy you and only hope I can find what you seem to have found. Bueno suerte amigo, and if this doesn't work out keep up the research. Also please keep us updated on this situation. You have alot of people wishing you the best here.

Adelito, thanks for the good wishes. I figure I have have 2-3 months, mas o menos, with her, before she will be going home.
The test will come when I see her start to make arraingements to leave TJ. She tells me not to worry about it. I'm doing an OK job of not worrying about it, now. And also, there are two determined people intent on working something out.

Does Aeromexico have frequant flyer miles?

YES

adelito- i beg to differ with you on one small point." if you want a chica that will fuck your brains out"...
I think a lot of these chicas tend to overcompensate by NOT wanting to have sex all the time now that they don't HAVE to. It's like a mailman retiring so he can go hiking all the time.
The only reason I say this is because I've been so in love with my fave of the past 2 years,that I've tried to learn as much as possible as to what makes her(and other prostitutes in general)tick.
Don't get me wrong,I'm rooting for Whistler probably harder than anybody,I wish I was in his shoes.It's just going to take a lot of work and understanding and communication to have this thing
be beneficial for both of them.Is love possible in
the Zona? Damn straight-it can and does happen,and from what I hear,for the ones that it does happen to, there's nothing like it in the world.
a.

Celtics - as usual I agree with you 100%. I would add that this is true of all Mexican women (as a generality - there are of course exceptions). I have finally figured out when to expect one of the girls I am dating to arrive; take however long she says it will be, and multiply it by 10.

Whistler - A friend of mine who is from an upper middle class TJ family gave me this advice last Saturday: Never, ever, ever be late for a date with a Mexican girl. They, of course, do not have to follow this same rule.

Adelito - I know one chica in AB who is saving for medical school. Wait a few years, and somone will have a beautiful, nice, smart, well-paid girl who will fuck them silly for the rest of their lives, and probably be a great mother and wife as well, if her time at AB does not change her too much.

Amamenenena - Maybe I have just been lucky, but all of the working chicas I have gone out with have liked sex at least as much as I do. So far, this is a fairly small sample size, so we'll see what I say a year from now.

My two pesos worth - there are no rules that normally apply to the question of sex with working chicas when they are not working. My amiga had never received a bit of pleasure from having sex with a man, let alone a client. It took three months, about 20 dates to overcome this, and then it was not 100% consistent. Now, sex is a priority for her.

I believe that there are many young chicas that don't receive pleasure with mongers, unless there is some relationship and a lot of trust. And trust does not come easy with working chicas for mongers.

My amiga also says that she has no sensation at all with clients. She says it is work.

Of course, this could all be just to stroke my male ego. But, I believe her. When I decided to let the relationship run it's course, I had to decide to trust her and believe what she tells me. Otherwise, it wouldn't work.

Yeah, you guys are screwing whores, and they are enjoying the sex. Happens all the time.

Whistler, it sounds like you have a great thing going with your novia and I hope it continues that way for both of you.

You said that your amiga has no sensation with clients and it is just trabajo for her. I would say that is probably true for the most part. I also believe she is trying to spare you worry and grief and that is nice and considerate of her.

However, these chicas are young and perhaps sowing their oates a bit too. Obviously most would not be at AB or the CC, for example, if they didn't need the money first and foremost. But it would only be natural that if they are at a time of the month where their hormones are at an elevated state, their mood is good, and a guy comes along that presses the right buttons that they would have a good time and let go. She's human.

Still, no client will get what you do or will it be as meaningfull as with you. I remember very well when I was seeing a chica from a smaller club who was beautiful physically and in spirit. I walked into her club one night and saw her slow dancing with a guy and she had a smile on her face. The guy then kissed her on the cheek and pulled her in closer. She did not resist. Imagine how that made me feel. Now this chica only worked for fichas, but it still stung. Then she saw me and left him after the song ended.

Later, I realized that why shouldn't she have a good time. I would hope that any chica would enjoy her work to some extent. It would be quite miserable for a chica to report to work everyday dreading the next eight hours of her life. It's a hard job to be sure, but hopefully there is some pleasure besides counting the cash.

Remember where you met her, be thankful for the good times, and hope for the best. It would be nice if you were the only guy having sex with your amiga, but that is not possible for now. Good luck.

Celtics

"Wait a few years, and somone will have a beautiful, nice, smart, well-paid girl
who will fuck them silly for the rest of their lives, and probably be a great mother and wife as well, if her time at AB does not change her too much."

Uh, thanks hippie for that wonderful visual image...

I have been to TJ twice now and although I am not a novice monger, (a lot of time spent in the PI and Korea in the mid 80's)there are a few things I would like a consensus on. I Have read that other guys like to go to another bar after doing a chica. I agree with this as I am not sure if she wants to hang with me or go off to her friends. Seeing as I have just lost a nut I am not in dier need of companionship at that time. But if you go with a buddy and he is upstairs after you are done you don't want to get lost from one another.
What is the proper etiquette (even in a 3rd world whore house there is etiquette) after doing a chica? My 3 experiences out of adelitas were all different. One wanted drinks afterword. Thats ok I guess. I usually want to talk to my buddies a little afterword. One raced off to her friends and I felt a little weird sitting their having her stare at me with her friends from across the room. One time I just waited out front and had some tacos.
What do others do? Laugh it off and grab another chica in front of the one you just did? No I don't want a girlfriend but it still bugs me. After all, I want to go back another day and not be the bad gringo. Or do you all feel they have heard it all and done it all before and it is foolish to have any uncertanties about anything.
(probably)

And no, I am not some sissy boy who worries about every little thing, its just that it is so great there I would hate to make a basic judgement error that to me seems ok but indeed it is not. My god, to be shunned at a place like that would kill me!! What are your tips?

Make her look good in front of her friends.

Going with someone else "in front of her friends" definitely makes her look bad and "lose face".

If you're going to do someone else, at least go to another bar. It sort of shows at least minimal respect for her.

Regards,
RickFeliz

Roscoe, the short answer to your question is, "It depends on the chica." Whatever your response is, you have to deal with each woman on an individual basis. There is no "one size fits all" response to dealing with the chicas in the zona norte.

As RF said, the primary rule is don't make her look bad or "lose face" with her amigas. She has to go to work every day with these same ladies, so appearances DO matter. You can make a chica lose face in many ways, but IMO it all comes down to being respectful of her and her image in the workplace, being courteous, and being relatively honest about your own intentions and plans.

The moments after a first session are always a little awkward because you're in unknown waters. But if you get to know a chica, and have more than one session with her, you will begin to understand how best to be respectful and what will avoid causing her unnecessary embarrassment. Some are seasoned pros and understand that guys will be trolling for carne fresca soon after they say "adios". Others are more sensative and some discretion is appreciated.

On a personal level, I usually leave the bar, but not because of the chica. After a session, I'm kind of all "sexed-out" and want to relax and decompress in an environment where I'm not constantly being approached by a beautiful prostitute when I'm too tired to do anything with her. So I will go to a quiet tourista bar (if that's not an oxymoron), and have a margarita and a cigar, or I'll go to a restaurant and get something to eat. Then maybe a walk, especially if it's daylight and the weather is nice. (There is a nice park about six blocks west of Revolucion off of Fourth Street.) I may even go to my hotel room and take a nap. After a couple of hours away from the weirdness of the sex shops, I'm usually ready to jump back in. By then, returning to the same bar is never a problem.

Every guy has his own rhythm to this hobby. Mine is not necessarily a blueprint for you. It's just what works for me.

The ladies of Adelitas will vary in how they react to you after a session. Most want to go back to stand in their "spots" because they want to make more money. After all, it's their job. If you ask, many will join you for a drink after your session, but it is certainly not expected.

Most guys aren't going to go right back up anyway and need recharging time so it's perfectly natural to hang out in the bar and have a drink. Nothing wrong with that, that's part of the fun.

Last year I went up with a lovely morena and after our session she sat directly across the bar from me and scritinized my every move and even gave me heat later about looking a little to long at a particularly nice ass strolling by. That's unusual but remember that this is their place of work and they know every inch of the bar they work in just as well as you know your living room. So I always treat every chica I meet with respect and a fun loving attitude. They appreciate it...they are women who just do this as their job.

Dissing them in their place of work by picking another in front of them may not matter to you on a particular trip, but it will on a repeat trip if you are seeking another good experience with the same chica or maybe a friend of hers. Word travels fast among chica cliques about their clients sometimes--especially guys they perceive to be jerks I think. This may be her job, but sex is still an intimate experience for all concerned IMO.

Roscoe,

If the girl is any good and I would like to seek her out in the future, I like to have a drink with them afterward and chat a bit. Most of them don't seem to mind that. I too feel uncomfortable pretending you don't know each other when only 10 minutes ago you were both naked rolling around in bed. I think you can kinda tell, if she doesn't bolt out of the room and you guys come down together then I'm sure she'd be receptive to a drink and some conversation. I'm pretty friendly with most of them, therefore whenever they see me in there they come up to me and say hello. A funny story: one time after coming back to the bar from upstairs with a girl I've done several times, I offer her a drink and she accepts. After a while her friend who saw us go up together comes over to her asks her "how's business?" she answers her and her friend leaves. About ten minutes later her friend spots us again and comes over and says to me "Ya deja la." Meanwhile, I'm like "what I'm not holding her against her will. She can leave whenever she wants. It's not like I have her tide up or anything." She stayed with me awhile longer then eventually left. So it's just up to you.

Harry

Good point about the return trips, Celtics. I learned that lesson a few years ago. Had a forgettable session with a pretty average chica. She was nice but the sex was just not anything special. The next trip, I saw her in the bar, and she made eye contact, but I ignored her because I didn't want her to press me for a repeat session.

Later, as I was standing near the DJ booth, she came by swinging her arms and just missed socking me in the nuts with her fist. She gave me a really dirty look. Obviously, she was pissed. To this day I don't know if she was just a bad shot or missed intentionally trying just to scare me.

Being older and wise now, I realize that I was disrespectful to her. All she wanted was to be acknowledged by me. A simple "hi" and a smile would have done the trick. As you said, sex is an intimate activity, and though it's a business to them, a lot of their self-esteem and self-identity is tied up in how they are perceived and how their customers treat them. Appearances DO matter. Although it's difficult to remember all the names and faces in the bars, my rule now is "when in doubt, smile and say hello."

Good comments by RF, Matiz, and Celtics that I can't add much to, except this point. If you have picked a chica that you like, in addition to being attracted to, it is a natural to have a drink with her afterwards. After all, the two of you have just gotten naked together. That shared intimate experience is a good foundation to get to know her better.

Personally, I enjoy getting to know the chicas. It is a nice way to further sear the memory of the experience in my mind. In the conversation before sex, you both are pre occupied with other thoughts. You are wondering if she is the best choice on which to blow time, money, and opportunity. She is wondering if you are an OK guy and if you'll take her upstairs.

After sex, those distractions are gone and there is opportunity for decent conversation. Assuming the session went well, you are both more relaxed and communications flow smoother.

Even working chicas respond to a monger showing interest in them, other than a sex object. It's enjoyable and time well spent, even if you never see the chica again.Of course, if all she is interested in is ringing the cash register again, none of the above applies. But, you can usually tell the quick turn-around artists in the pre-sex conversation.

Matiz, the famous Norteamericano writer, says

"All she wanted was to be acknowledged by me. A simple "hi" and a smile would have done the trick."

Octavia Paz, the famous Mexican writer, says

Mexicans hate being ignored. Their major complaint about the United States is that in the past we mostly ignored them. We treat them like "distant neighbors".

Regards,
RickFeliz

Matiz,

You could always go across the street to Molino Rojo after a good session with an AB girl. That way, you never have to be concerned about being approached by a "beautiful" prostitute when you are chica'd out. Only ugly ones!

Matiz:

I've made that walk to "Parque Tenniente Guerrero" a number of times...and typically too, after afternoon sessions...its great for head-clearing and the processing of Zona information, both vital and non-vital...the Park is always pleasant and peaceful, with families and Catholic schoolgirls and assorted abuelos y abuelas...

Getting burned by favorita!
I have been seeing this girl for the past six months, we have always had good times in AB and outside. This girl has always been very affectinate and have always treated me with respect.
One of the problems that she had was that, I only travel to the zona once a month and she wanted to spend more time with me, I also wanted that, but we never let each other know our intentions. Over the course of time we always talked on the phone at least once a week. We had made plans to celebrate Valentine's day on the 15th due to my work scheduled. But the week prior I had a difficult time trying to get a hold of her, she would turn off her cellphone and when I called AB she would not pick up. I called mutual friend from AB and she told me she hasn't been working for a week. I finally got a hold of her two days prior to my arrival and she said that when I get to TJ to give her a call because we needed to talk, the line went dead.
I got to TJ as planned and when I called her she said she was with her sister and the phone went dead again. I tried redialing but she had turned off her phone.
I knew something was wrong, but I had a zona virgin with me so I didn't wanna ruined it for him. I showed him the alley and the rest of the clubs. Once in AB we hook up with old friends and spend the evening dancing and dining outside of the zona. I had a good overnighter, but it wasn't the same. I have come to learn that with a zona girl you can't expect or look for a relationship.
I have some real nice friends in the zona, but they are friendships and to try to make it in to a relationship is entering a dangerous territory for you and them.

Brother CityOriginalGangster,
KNOWLEDGE! You are droppin' KNOWLEDGE, my brother! Expect the minimum in terms of reliability of these chicas, you ain't never gone be disappointed!

Cityog

You once told me that it's ALWAYS time to move on!

Jealous Mongers?? Question, when I head down to the Zona with my best friend he say's all the chicas he's had are off-limits to me. Do any of you guys run into this possesiveness with your buddies? I think we should all share!
SB

SB,

All the chicas your buddy has done are off limits?? Some friend!!! I make runs with a few different friends and we all know each other's favs and respect that, but certainly not ALL the chicas we do!!!

As far as this topic goes, to fave or not, it's a tough question. My favorite time in AB is weekend afternoons, the problem is that for the past few months I've been meeting my fave there weekly and splitting for "out-of-the-zone" experiences. Now I'm getting the desire to find another, things are getting a bit routine and familiar, and she expects me to go with her if she is there, it's easy money for her, AND she's always there!

I'd like to enjoy some carne fresca and the afternoons in AB with a new fave, but I have this routine I need to break. I probably feel funnier about it than she does, but nonetheless, I feel funny about "romancing" a new fave with the current one hanging around. I really do like her, as an amiga.

I'll work it out somehow, maybe a menage-a-trois would be a good start, but shit like this happens when you become a regular customer.

ldv

Yes Thats right Mr. Shadow,

Citog has always been the one who cares about chicas and at the same time he doesnt.
Heres my two cents, Cityog, just gets obssed with a chica and UNTIL he charms her, dines her and dumps her then he moves on. The chica, that doesnt complete this cycle, Cityog simply gets stuck for a while. Then finds another better looking chica to piss off the past one.

Valentino

Roscoe - you got several good answers, but I would have to say that this is generally true only in CC and AB, or with the more experienced chicas at other bars. At the smaller bars, where the girls go up less and are generally newer to the profession and less sophisticated (read, rancheras recently off the bus), the girls will be much more likely to get upset if you sit with or go upstairs with another girl. This can even be true if you do it a day or two later. At these type of bars, especially, getting a bad reputation can make it hard to have fun in the future. If the girl blatantly hooks up with another guy in front of you, however, then you can generally assume she does not care what you do.

Salsa_Boy - tell your friend to get over it. That is bullshit. Maybe he is just afraid she will tell you how inadequate he was in the sack.

Hi! Sorry to break the flow here a bit but I've got a question about calling Mexican cell phones from the US and thought you guys might have some experience. A chica in Nuevo Laredo that I've been with a few times gave me her cell number 2 weeks ago; and I was hoping to make an overnight date with her for tomorrow night. But, the number doesn't seem work when I try to reach it from here in Texas. It's a regular NL number (87 + 6 digits), except it has "044" before it, which she says is because it's a cellular number. So I dialed 011 + 52, as you would to reach any Mexican number from here in the US; then I dialed the 044 plus 87 plus the 6 digit number. But no go. I tried again without the 044 but no go; and then tried just 44 and again, no go. I also tried dialing a hotel in NL and it worked fine. So... can anyone give me some advice? I sure would like to see her tomorrow!

Thanks!!

go 01152drop the 44 and the rest of the number. if you are in tj use the 044 beginnig.

Sampson is right if not elaborate. The 044 signals that you will pay the cellular access fee. This only is for use in the local Mexican calling area, I do believe. So from Texas to NL you would dial:

011-52-87-666666

Claro ?

Be aware you rfriend is paying about $.25 a minute when you call. At least that is the TJ rate. I would assume that NL is about the same.

Buena suerte,
Gitano

I have been reading through some of the more recent posts here and thought I would throw my 2 cents in. I believe it was Matiz that said it all depends on the girl. It's the truth. And it all depends on you.

I have had an off and on favorita relationship with one of the girls for about a year and a half. In many ways it's been a good experience. She has opened doors within me through this close sexual friendship with a pretty woman from a foreign culture. At age 51 that has been a very pleasant experience.

The other side is that it can be maddening. I believe it was TightFit that said even the orneriest among us, as much as we deny it, are looking for the comfort of a sustainable caring relationship. If you are dating a bar girl, it probably ain't gonna happen. She has got to many problems. As you get closer to her you are going to want to fix them. It'll never happen. She'll keep finding more work for you.

Life in Zona Norte is rough and situations can change faster than an AB stripper. A favorita relationship can be a very pleasant diversion, but be careful that you don't slip into making an emotional commitment that goes beyond the diversion level.

She's the sweetest thing in my life. A day that starts with breakfast with her always turns out well. But that's it. She doesn't think like I do. She is the product of a vastly different culture that I have grown to appreciate, but will never truly be a part of. I value her friendship and I try to do small things to make her life a little better, but this friendship has hard set limits.

I'd like to tell you I have mastered this science, but it's not true. My feelings for her can start to get away from me at times and I have to get away from her. We really aren't very compatible on a daily basis beyond a few days and we start to drive each other nuts because of our different expectations and beliefs.

But I always miss her after a while and look her up again. Like I said that diversion with her somehow puts a balance in my life. I just wish she wouldn't watch those stupid talk shows.

Gitano

Gitano,

Your message rings a bell for me. Sometimes I think that puta relationships are good because there are hard limits, they're hookers, and they are from a different culture, no way I'm going to go monogamous. I intend to die a bachelor and hanging with these gals ensures that. Plus I get a laid a lot by other beautiful women when I go on the "off-fave" trips. But I do like having special ones to spend all day with and hopefully make some long term friends. There's one AB chica I've been seeing for four years. It's great and I always enjoy her company. There's another I've been seeing for a few months, she's from TJ and I live 25 minutes away. Hopefully I'll be dropping in on her 10 years from now.

ldv

Thanks for all of the feedback. I think that I will play it safe and move to another bar when finished making my deposit. No need risking a bad time. I have always liked the smaller less popular bars at other places I have been. I intend to check some of the places other than the big 3 in the zone! Hope to be down again on the 1st or so.

Whistler: Ulp! Is the "Paula" that you're talking about the same Paula I just met at AB? She mentioned something about breaking up with her novio. Can you check out the thread called "AB Girls Who Ask You Out?" and let me know if that sounds like the same Paula? I'm going back next week and I'd like to know if this is the case.

Cantinflas, I used a fictuous name and said so in the post. I should not have used any name at all. Sorry man. It is not Paula. Have a great time.

As a long time reader of this board and redsnake, I feel it is time for me to finally contribute. I have been an infrequent visitor to TJ for the last ten years(2-3 times a year) and have always tried to expand my experiences and, therefore, learn more about myself and what I am really looking for.

I arranged for two nights last Thursday in TJ staying at an off Rev Hotel. This was by far my most memorable trip. Thanks to this board, I got a wonderful non-sexual massage at Aztec and ventured down to AD.

I always like to sit at the bar and soak up the scene when I first get to TJ. I have no trouble politely getting rid of the aggressive ones and was settling in for a long, enjoyable night, I am no superman and I much more enjoy one good experience than trying to break any records. As I was sitting there, a taller girl sat down. Not ready to get involved with anyone yet, I ignored her for a couple of minutes, but finally I turned to look at her. I was blown away. She was beautiful. She was dressed very conservatively in jeans and blouse with dark, medium length soft hair surrounding a perfect face. Not one bit of the come-on hooker look to her. I can be in room full of fashion models and not be impressed, but this girl blew me away. I blurted out, "your beautiful", (not my normal MO) and she just smiled. I asked her if she wanted a drink and she accepted. Being very limited in my Spanish, I did manage to find out her name and where she was from. (Sorry, I am not the kiss and tell type.) Even though it far earlier than I had planned, I asked her to the room. She took my hand and led me upstairs. I kept looking at her and shaking my head. In my many times in TJ before, I had never felt like this. I was excited but also a little fearful. Holy Christ, I had just met this girl. I have not felt the emotions I was feeling since I was sixteen years old. In the room she was sweet and very eager to please. She did not rush me. I have to say every moment of that session will be part of my future fantasies. Being so off balance, I had not even bothered to talk money. When it was over I asked how much. She said fifty and I paid still shaking my head. When we got back down, I sat with her for a little while.

This is where I got weird. Since my ability to speak any Spanish longer than two words in row is limited, I felt I should leave. I told her that I would like to see her later and left. I know you are thinking another love sick fool caught in the wonderland of TJ, because that is what was bothering me. I have had more than my share of experiences with life and women and I needed to sort all this out. I am not naive enough to think that she, in any way, even knew what she did to me or cared.

Surprisingly, horny or even sexually satisfied was not what I was feeling. More like confused. I walked back up to Rev Ave and killed a few hours doing nothing. I finally walked back to AB because I needed resolution. I spotted her sitting alone in one of the back booths and I walked up to her and sat down. She smiled and put her arm around my shoulders. I told her I wanted to be with her again. I did not have unlimited funds with me to try for an all-nighter and I really did not want to negotiate, so I asked her if she would like to spend an hour with me back in my hotel. She agreed and we got a cab and left. It was better than the afternoon. She stayed about an hour and a half, I never felt I was being hurried and she was so sweet. Again more fantasy material, an absolutely perfect face and body. I was hoping she would fall asleep, but, alas, no. I put the money next to her purse as she got dressed, walked her to a cab and sent her back.

The next day I was not in the mood to monger. I ate some Mexican and headed up to the zone. I again went to the bar to sit down. I sat there for maybe twenty minutes, not really even looking. A girl across the bar smiled but I just smiled back. After sending away a feisty one who approached, the girl from across the bar walked over. It was her with her hair different. She wanted to know why I was ignoring her. I told her I wasn't and that I had not recognized her. Another session. This time she wanted so very much for me to enjoy everything and made every effort to see that I did. But I just wanted to hold her and my performance was nowhere near to where it was from the night before. I think it confused her, but she smiled and obliged.

I had some personal business to attend to and I was in no hurry to get back. I spent the rest of the day and early evening doing that and tourist stuff. I then got another Aztec massage and probably did not get back to AB until about 11:00. I looked around and did not see her. In a way I was relieved, because I did not like the way I was acting with this girl. Don't you know it, about a half hour later, I saw her sitting alone in the back. Being Friday night it was packed. I walked over and sat down. She said with her broken English that there were too many people and that she had a headache. We talked a little and she told me wanted to give me her email address. I asked her again to my hotel. As we were taking the cab back to the room, I got this sudden urge to not have sex at all with her. When we got into the room, I immediately gave her the same money as the night before and told her that if she did not feel good, she could leave any time she wanted and that she was beautiful and that I would never forget her. I told her I did not want sex but would again like to hold her as long as she wanted to stay. She insisted on giving me a massage like I had given her the night before. Very sweet. I rubbed her head and she let me hold her for a long time. I just wanted her to fall asleep so I could keep holding her. She did nod off for a bit, but then woke and told me she had to go. She gave me her email and held my hand as we walked back to the cab.

That's it. She did absolutely nothing wrong and I am acting like an idiot.

I left the next day feeling much different than any previous visit. I know I am one of the many faceless. When I got back home, I waited a day and sent her some stupid mushy email about how wonderful she was and how much I enjoyed myself. Here, four days later, no response, which is probably for the best. She did say she had only been in TJ a little while and was going home in a few days. Who knows?

I felt like a lovesick teenager and I hope this is not what I have been looking for. I am too old and wise for this crap. Anyway, thanks for reading, I needed to get my emotions sorted out.

Coltello,

Welcome to heaven on earth. For whatever reason she chose you. You got "la confianza".

Reads like the story of a man "coming alive" again. Moving up the ladder from physical to emotional.

Welcome to the board. Great storytelling!

Highest Regards,
Rick Feliz

Coltello,

Ah yes, much better than a quick 1/2 hour anonymous session, is it not? Congrats, I'd say you scored big time. "Smitten" I think is the word and I enjoy that feeling as much as the purely physical. Probably more.

You said "I am too old and wise for this crap." Nah, what happened proves you're not too old, and wisdom usually takes a back seat to alluring women. "Crap"?? You also said you were feeling emotions you had not felt since you were sixteen years old. How could that be crap?? It's wonderful!!, as in full of wonder.

Enjoy it, but keep real. She probably thinks you're rich.

ldv

Coltello:

It's amazing, isn't it?

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. It was quite a roller coaster ride. My best advice is enjoy the moment, and enjoy it for what it is, whatever that may be.

And as to the email, you may be surprised. I exchange email with some of the gals I have met in TJ, and almost none of them check their email more often than once a week. Some who use Internet Cafes only do so a couple of times a month.

Coltello,

I can definitely relate to your experience. It was a little more than a year ago that I was "smitten" as LDV says. I had many of the same thoughts that you have. By most people's description, I am a "main stream, middle aged" guy that was having a great time playing in TJ, when I was myself smitten by a young AB sweetheart.

My suggestion ... email her again, call her at AB (yes, you can phone the chicas and they will page them. Let me know if you need the number) Set up another date!!! I would think you would want to repeat that experience.

If you are like me, you have probably missed some opportunities in life because you did not act. Don't let it happen with this one. And, don't get wrapped up in thinking too deep about "her job". Focus on how you feel when you are with her! There is a possibility of much learning and many riches, even for us older, wiser guys.

no,I'm not Mexican, I just play one on TV.
a.

Coltello
Just remember to keep everything in perspective. Enjoy your time with her because there are many who she makes feel the way you do about her,IT IS HER JOB.

Cotella, Take in the feedback and do a gut check with the Truth and Reality.If she doesn't call or e-mail back don't make excuses for her..It's the truth. A good way to look at it is if you had your best friend telling you things about a woman he met and you cared enough about him to tell him the brutal honest truth what would that be? We always read on these boards Y.M.M.V. that is a tough pill to take when your emotions have been swept into the situation.Your emotions can get Spanked Hard. All of us have a certain woman who comes into our life when we least expect it and knocks us off of our game and we don't know or care why. Like many say here have fun and don't Expect Too much. As well as let everyone know how it is going. Just my.02 cents

Thanks to those who responded to my post 3/22/01. I am surprised at the interest and grateful for the sound advice.

For those that gave me advice, don't worry, I expect nothing and hope for everything.

I am not in a position to offer any chica, any kind of commitment anyway. I do not live in the San Diego area and it is not practical for me to be in TJ as often as I would like. As I said in my previous post, what bothered me was my reaction to a situation that that I knew at the time had no real future. I would like very much to see her again, but if do not, life will go on. I expect nothing from her. If I can believe what she told me, she was in TJ for only a short period of time anyway, so I do not know how I would be seeing her. The idea of an email relationship is appealing to see where that might go, but nothing has come of that yet.

I look at my TJ trips as a way to learn more about who I really am. My favorite fantasy is to be able to go back in time 25 years, knowing what I know now, and live those 25 years again. (Oh, how different life would be.) My last visit only made it more difficult to stay away. I keep trying to think of good reasons to be in the San Diego area.

Unlike many mongers, I truly love women. Don't laugh, but I still consider it an honor when they allow me total access to their bodies (and in some cases their emotional beings), even when I am paying for it. I find latin women especially, both in the US and Mexico, to be representitive of all I love about women.

So, until I can be in TJ again, I will have to rely on this board to keep alive my great memories.

AB Chica Adventures

After the day trip to La Jolla, favorita was anxious to see Disneyland. Several of her AB friends had somehow seen Disneyland without a visa, through their kid's school.

We were now talking on the phone every day. Each conversation would end with her saying "Te quiero mucho. Call me or I'll call you" If I don't call her at lunch the following day, she will call me at exactly 1 PM, knowing that I am in the office and not yet involved with something. In each conversation she asks "Cuando vienes TJ?" and "Cuando vamos Disneyland?"

After not seeing her for 5 days, we agreed on a plan for me to come to TJ the next day, spend the night, and early the following day, we will drive to Anaheim. I told her I would see her tomorrow between 5-6PM. She was excited, but since she had not worked in 3 days because of her period, she said that she needed to work until I arrived, and could I pick her up at AB?

Going to AB is always a little struggle for me. But, I have managed to shut out the jealousy and other negative emotions that will ruin a relationship with a working chica. Plus, I can entertain myself with a Pacifico and the forever-fascinating people watching.

The following day, I was able to spring from work 2 hours earlier that planned. I tried to call, but she was gone. I didn't want to page her at AB. With light traffic, I was standing in front of AB, more than 2 hours early. A scary thought raced through my mind. What if she suddenly walks into or out of AB? I made a mad dash across the street, and walked down to Tropical.

I never wear a watch in MX so I never know exactly what time it is. However, I've learned to tell time in beers. One beer equals 30 minutes, pretty darn accurately. I sat at the bar just past the waiter station. Two beers down and Tropical was pretty slow. I started to wonder if LC or Miami would be any better. Just as I was pondering this, a chica (bonita) walked up and handed me a ticket. "Por que?" I asked. "Escucha por su numero" she said, walking off. I tried to wave her back. "Mas tarde". I was lonely, she was cute. I would have loved to buy her a couple of ficha drinks to pass the time. But, I settled for watching her go around BT handing tickets to each guy.

The place was starting to fill up and the cute chica was handing out tickets to guys as they came in. The DJ was starting to hype the raffle and the soon to be known lucky winner. More that half way through beer #3, there was a big fanfare, and the DJ called a winning number. I still was not sure what the prize was; I assumed something like a cheap bottle of tequila. After calling the number, the place was silent. Everyone looked around. 30 seconds went by. No one claimed to be the winner.

The chica lifted the basket up to the DJ to pull another number. He read the new number. Damn, I was only one number off. Suddenly, a young Mexicano right in front jumped to his feet, waving the ticket in the air. The chica handing out the tickets and one other chica made their way to the lucky winner and led him to the center of the dance floor.

The DJ played a Shakira song and the chicas began to dance around him. Within a minute the chicas tops were off, with some help from the guy. The danced around him, rubbing against him, rubbing his crouch, and teasing him as they removed his shirt. The chicas maneuvered him to the brass pole, with one chica in front of him and one behind him. Continuing to dance around him, the chica in back was making a lot of hand contact, and somehow managed to get the guys hands behind the pole, where she handcuffed him quicker than a TJ cop.
Now, both chicas danced in front of him, pulling their panties down past the hairline, rubbing him. He was having a good time and his friends were whooping and shouting. As one chica put her arms around his neck and teased him with little kisses, the other chica began to work on his belt. It was quickly undone, and his pants were quickly around his knees, also his underpants. The chicas left the dance floor, leaving him naked and handcuffed to the pole.

The place roared with laughter and applause. How funny, and I nearly fell off the stool laughing. In about 30 seconds, the chicas reappeared, one unhandcuffed him, and the other handed him a beer. They both hugged and kissed him and signaled for applause. He was a celebrity. This was more fun then watching gringos get cheese platters with their beer.

I headed over to AB. It was around 5 PM. I parted the curtains and took a left. I never look for her. I stand or sit near the DJ booth. She will find me. Sitting at the raised bar, I ordered a Pacifico. A few minutes later, I noticed a $1 bill on the floor, probably mine. Rising from picking it up, she was right there, right in front of me, having appeared from no where. She gently pushed me back onto the stool. Her huge smile, sparkling eyes, arms slipping around my neck, and her slipping between my knees for a hug, told me my patience, my tolerance, would again be rewarded.

We agreed to meet outside AB in 5 minutes as she changed and cashed in her fiches. In the cab ride to PA, we held hands and talked about the crappie weather. The conversation drifted to what we were going to do that night. We were both hungry.

A quick check in at the hotel, a couple of lingering kisses, some fresh lipstick, and we were walking out the front door. "Donde quieres comer" I asked. "Tu veras" she responded, and we got into the cab. Most of the time, I speak to her in Spanish and she speaks to me in English. It has gotten a couple of weird looks from cab drivers and waiters.

She told the driver to take us to the culture center. The Culture Center? In TJ? In 5 minutes, we arrived at a beautiful complex of buildings, highlighted by a huge dome. Exiting the cab, she took my hand and we walked a block to a small café. As the mesero handed us the menus she looked up and said "Dos Pacificos and dos platos enchiladas mole, por favor."

Excellent enchiladas mole. She paid for dinner. Unusual, but not the first time. Back at the culture center, I was really impressed. It was something you would not expect to find in TJ. That night they had a music group from Argentina and an exhibit from D.F. Neither really interested me. I was more interested in some private time with her before it got too late.

She led us to a ticket window. Looking up, I could not believe it … IMAX. IMAX in TJ? It was true and it was a perfect 50-minute diversion after dinner. We were back at the hotel before 9 PM.

SIDE NOTE: Last update, a couple of readers complained, good naturedly, about the lack of sexual content in my recounts. I reluctantly will include some detail below, although there is nothing unusual here. My motivation is that this is primarily a record for me.

A special night with her is worth the price of the PA and it is simply because of the tub. I love to get into the tub with her. She is always to the back, facing forward. I work around the hardware in the front. Some of our best conversations are in the tub, and, of course, it is very erotic. The conversations are interrupted with kissing and fondling. In the last few minutes of the bath there is something that I do, that she is unaware of, and is highly stimulating for me. I place my legs outside of hers, with my feet on each side of her butt. Then her feet are placed outside my legs, crossing over my legs at her knee. I wash one foot, one calf, and one thigh at a time. She loves the attention. I enjoy it also, because all the time, her legs are spread and there is a fell view of the beautiful, well-groomed panocha. She often comments that I leave the bath, solid wood.

In la cama, she makes love with her entire body. Her soft, thick, fine hair surrounds my face as she gives the gift of a deeply passionate kiss. Within a minute the throat sounds begin, she presses her breasts on my chest, and the pelvic movements begin.

Friends, you'll have to take it from here.

Asleep at midnight, 8 hours is perfect for me. Deep in a dream, I hear a sweet voice "despiertute, dispiertute." I peak at the clock. It is 7 AM. I peak at her. Her face is washed, hair brushed, teeth brushed. She has been up for awhile. I later find out that she woke at 6 AM and let me sleep until 7 AM. "Vamos a Anaheim" Her energy and enthusiasm quickly spreads to me.

Showered and dressed in 20 minutes, I was worried about the weather. Yesterday's 5-day forecast called for a 40% chance of rain. I had told her and she wanted to risk it.

After breakfast, and an uneventful border crossing, we headed up the I-5 towards Anaheim. It was overcast but no rain. But 45 minutes later, as we hit Orange County, it began to change. In San Clemente, there was a fine mist falling. By San Juan, it was more than a fine mist, but not hopeless. Several times she looked at me, the unspoken question was obvious "Will we be able to go to Disneyland?"

I was still hopeful, but as we passed Irvine Spectrum, the mist had turned to small drops. At MainPlace in Santa Ana, it was a steady rain. Her disappointment was showing.

Exiting Harbor Blvd. It was definitely raining. We pulled over and parked. "What we do?" she asked. I corrected her English, as we both had agreed to do, and then thought fast. "Lets go shopping! The best shoe store in California is close." I was willing to spring for a pair of Nordstrom shoes to help save the day. Her frown almost turned to a smile.

Back down the I-5 to MainPlace. She loved the mall, she loved the shoes at Nordstroms. An hour was spent looking at shoes and trying them on. With any other woman in my life, past or present, I would have been ready to go in 15 minutes, and insisting on going in 30 minutes. But, with her, an hour of looking at shoes was really an hour of watching her, watching her body movements, watching her facial expressions, occasionally interpreting communications with the sales person.

At 1 PM we left Nordstroms with a $70 pair of shoes. Even though it was clear that I was to pay, she was careful to balance cost, beauty, and utility. One more reason to admire her.

Looking out the mall door, her fear was verified. It was still raining. We went for a casual lunch. At 2 PM, it was still raining. "Que quieres hacer?" I asked thinking a movie might work. "Vamos a su casa" she quickly responded.

Well, this was not a new idea to me, but for some reason a moment of panic set in. I was sure that we would end up at my house before we returned to TJ. I was prepared for it, the place was clean and well stocked with firewood, beer, wine, tequila, and food. And, having her at my house was the real reason for the trip for me, not Disneyland.

Even though prepared, I was panicked. Hearing her say those words meant that a defining moment was a 40-minute drive away. I stood motionless, thoughts racing through my head. Am I crazy bringing an Aldelitas chica to where I live??? In just the first hour at my house, she will see more of the real me than all of the time we have spent together in MX. And in the course of a night, there will really be no hiding. She will probably see in my closet, my medicine cabinet, my cupboards … oh, there is no end. She will see much more than the pre-packaged me that always arrives down South, ready for a date.

As I pushed open the front door to my house, thank God I resisted the urge to pick her up and carry her over the threshold. Where had that thought come from? That would have been way too symbolic. But having her there was something that I had fantasized about many times. Inside, I was filled with happiness and excitement.

Once inside the house, I was suddenly embarrassed by the sign that hung in the entry saying "Bienvenida _____ me amor". But, when I looked at her, the embarrassment suddenly disappeared. I was too moved by her moist eyes, the tear on her cheek.

There was a 5-minute tour of the place, and I left the master bedroom until last. In the years that I had lived there, I had often wondered why the designers have placed a large skylight in the bedroom. I soon found out. It was so that on that afternoon, I could have the pleasure of ravishing her exquisite young body in brilliant, natural daylight.

As I unbuttoned her blouse, the sun made its first appearance of the day. The room was as light as if we were outside. I looked at her and we both looked at the skylight. "Vamos?" I asked, not wanting a "Yes". "Quedamos" she replied, pushing me onto the bed.

Taking off her bra remains one of my favorite things in life. Today was more than special. As I caressed her breasts, delighting in the quickly erecting nipples, I noticed for the first time, with the aid of sunlight, that there was a definite pinkish hue to her nipples. A gift. I love pink-cocoa brown.

An hour later, dry from the just completed shower, I reached into the closet, withdrew a silk robe, and held it open for her. She looked at me and before she could ask, I gave her the answer "Es tuyo." I gave her a pair of my socks to wear. She looked down for a long minute. Raising her head with a finger on the chin, her eyes were again filled with moisture. "Hay problema?" "Contraria"

The sound of a light rain patter began on the skylight. The sun had lasted a little more that an hour, almost the exact time of our lovemaking. Another storm was coming in, it was getting dark, the perfect setting for a fire. Damn, this was working out so well!

The next 5 hours were extraordinary. We built a fire, cooked dinner, ate on the floor in front of the fire, drank a six pack of Rolling Rock, listened to American music, listened to Mexican music, and played checkers.

I could and should write many more pages about our afternoon, evening, and night together for my record of this incredible adventure with a beautiful Mexicana, a person raised deep in the heart of Mexico, a daughter, a mother, a sister, a friend of many, an intelligent, kind, caring, honest, passionate, sexy, funny, generous chica, who happens to be an Adelitas chica. A chica that will soon be an ex-Adelitas chica, but will still be all the other things above.

WHITSLER...OR ANYONE W/ KNOWLEDGE,

If you could, please shoot me an email or post to show me how I could make a call to a Guadalajara cell phone # from the USA. My friend has given me a rather large amt of money to buy some stuffs, but I haven't gotten any luck returning her calls/msgs. I have tried to ask the operators to assist, but still gotten no luck. Sometimes, I called and got a long Spanish recording after the beeps, but my Spanish is too limited to understand. The # she gave me is: 04431 + 6-digit number. I understood that I must dial: 011 + 62 + 31 (Guadalajara city code???)+ the 6-digit #. Am I doing it right? PLEASE HELP especially from seasoned mongers and those who do business travel to GD. Thanks in advance. Next round of virtual/cyber Negra Modelo on me!!!

V/R
sakebomb
email: sakebomb99@yahoo.com

OK, not sure if I can help, but....

From the US you need to dial 011 (the International Access Code) + 52 (Mexico's Country Code) + 3 (GDL's city code) + the number.

When I break down the cell phone number I call often, it then has SEVEN digits after the 3.

Often when calling her cell phone the first time I call I get a message that her phone is not in service. I immediately redial, and get thru about 70% of the time.

Or to put what Curious said a different way, try just changing the "6" in the fourth digit to "5": 0115231 + 6 digits. Note that if she does not have time (money) in her phone's account, she will not be able to receive calls from the U.S. However, you could still get through by going to a Mexican pay phone and dialing with the "044" prefix, which essentially charges her cell phone time to you. If you do this, make sure you have plenty of pesos handy, as it will probably cost you 4 pesos per minute, plus whatever the long distance charges are.

Note that when using a Mexican pay phone to call a cell phone, the "044" is dropped when making long distance calls.

For example, a cell phone in Los Mochis may have this number: 044-XXX-XXX. The area code for Los Mochis is "68", which is not necessary if you are calling the cell phone locally.

If you call that same cell phone from TJ, you dial the following from a pay phone: 01.68.XXX-XXX. You do not use the "044" prefix.

I would swear that I have done it using 044, but maybe not. Who gets charged for the cell phone time if you dial 01?

If you dial "01", you are dialing long distance, so the 4 pesos a minute that get sucked out of your Ladatel card help pay for the cell phone charges, as well.

"If you dial "01", you are dialing long distance, so the 4 pesos a minute that get sucked out of your Ladatel card help pay for the cell phone charges, as well."

That's wrong. if it's long distance, the phone you are calling get's billed for the airtime. Basically, if you don't, or can't, dial 044 before the number, it's gonna charge the cell phone airtime.

Well, I think we are talking semantics here.

Anytime a cell phone is used, the owner of the cell phone has to pay for air time, whether or not they are calling or receiving, and whether or not the call is long distance.

Calling Guadalajara or Sinaloa, the receiving cell phone pays for cell phone air time, but not long distance. When you dial '01' you are paying for the long distance charges.

Finally gave up on GTE/AT&T for Baja roaming. Has not been functional since they switched systems and get different excuses from different people.

Switched to Verizon who in theory has Baja roaming service thru Telcel. Of course it didn't work at first. After some calls, it now works for receiving calls, making calls from TJ to the US, and making calls from TJ to TJ land lines. It does not currently work trying to call from TJ to TJ cel phones.

If I start with the number 6xxxxxxx, I tried to dial the 8 digits, or just the 7 digits, or 0446xxxxxxx, or 66xxxxxxx, or 526xxxxxxx, or 01526xxxxxx, or 011526xxxxxxx, none work. The 0446xxxxxxx worked with GTE (before they switched).

Anyone have a clue? I've got trouble reports in with both Verizon and Telcel but so far they say everything is ok and are at a loss to explain why I can't call these numbers. (Yes, I've tried different cel numbers and none work).

My service works for all calls in TJ through Verizon. Currently a number of areas in TJ are not roaming on Verizon. They have finally set their system up right with Baja Cell and Telcel. If you are making a call to TJ you will need to dial 0115268****** (to call a cell phone). If you are having problems it will be when you go into roam status. Call Verizon and tell them to activate your phone for Mexico. There is no charge but they only do it on request. If your phone goes into roam while in Mexico you will not be able to make a call, only receive them. In the area of the zone, there is a cell for Baja Cellular. It makes it a little difficult to get calls out sometimes. If you just walk a block or less sometimes your service will go out of roam and you will be able to make calls. On Verizon you dial all numbers to Mexico as though you were in the states 01152 international operator (011) and country code (52) Phone type/area (68 cell) plus the number. If you still have problems getting through with this, the phone you are dialing is either turned off or out of time. Currently Verizon is working in all points in TJ and as far down as Cabo for receiving and making calls. I did not take it with me to inland Mexico because they told me I would just have to be in the right spot and get lucky.

Hope this helps.
Additional note: Verizon deactivated *18 and *28 which were the Mexico roam codes last year.

The 01152xxxxxxxx does not work with any number. I can dial my house in playas with 66xxxxxx. I can dial US with 001-xxx-xxx-xxxx no problem. I can dial Telcel numbers if I omit the 044. I can not dial any Baja Celular numbers, with or without 044, or even using the 01152xxxxxxxx numbers. I know the Baja Celular phone is on and active because it is also mine and in my position with close to 3,000 pesos saldo. Any further suggestions appreciated...

After reading thru this I was kind of curious as to why you guys weren't using Nextel US service, My understanding is that it works in the Baja as a US number. That is your US calls are made like you were on the north side of the border. The only disadvantage that I see is that if most of your calls are to Mexico in Mexico than you are paying the international fee.

I have a selfish motive for bringing this up. I too have had it with the ATT roaming in the Baja. It has never worked and they keep telling me that it does. Since I am going to be in the Baja a lot over the next 6 months, I was thinking about dropping ATT in favor of Nextel. Might buy the double phone package and give one to fav, although I get heart palpitations thinking about the down side of that.

Gitano, I've had it with AT&T also. I switched to them specifically for the Baja roaming. When I complained for the 10th time last week, they gave me another option. In the past, I've dialed *468 to reach Baja Cell, with about a 95% failure rate.

According to AT&T customer service Baja Cell will "capture" your signal and hold it "captive" even if they can"t process it. However, they did say that I could call *288 and get Telcell, which is supposedly much more reliable.

I'd prefer another option other that Nextel, only because their phones are much more bulky than my little Nokia 8290.

Are there any other roaming options is Baja?

Nextel does not work at my residence in Playas de Tijuana. I tried an Amigas and it dies coming thru the hills. If you are going to stay in Centro, Zona Rio, and Zona Norte it's an option.

Thanks cf. Those are exactly the locations I need. I noticed that Nextel's 2 lowest end phones are the 550 and a 700. I am under the impression that the only difference is the available options on them, such as 3-way calling. The 550 has everything I need and I can get 2 of them for $100 thru June 30th.

http://www.nextel.com/phone_services/phonecomparison.shtml

Anybody know if the reception is equal on them ?

Whistler,

AT&T never gave me any connect options. They just put me off to Baja Cellular saying that it wasn't their problem. My info on this is dated as I haven't been in TJ much in the last 6 months. When I was out a few weeks back I noticed that things were still screwed up. My International service from CA was bad also and that pissed me off to the limit. Anybody ever call Central American countries with Nextel ?

Anyway I'm probably going to make the switch. I can get 2 phones on Nextel with the direct connect and unlimited long distance for not much more that I pay for the ATT service. I was just looking for a few testimonials from current users, since I hadn't asked about this in 6 months.

Thanks already guys.

Follow up. My Verizon cel phone works now. Verizon couldn't fix it. The TelCel engineer had to get in touch with the Baja Celular database group to manually enter the ESN (electronic serial number) of my phone into their system so I could call their phones. Ain't technology wonderful?

A correction:

Explorer said "Anytime a cell phone is used, the owner of the cell phone has to pay for air time, whether or not they are calling or receiving, and whether or not the call is long distance."

This is not true for Mexican cell phones, or at least not for many of them - I can't swear that the rules are the same for every company.

When you dial 044, you are paying for the cellular airtime, usually 4 pesos per minute, not the owner of the phone. This is why a cell phone that is "out of time" can still receive calls, if they are made in this manner. It can't receive calls that are made from the U.S. however, because in this case the air time is charged to the phone's account. I have encountered this many times. I believe that with at least one of the cellular providers, the receiving phone also is charged a small rate when you call with 044. These phones will continue to be able to receive 044 calls after the account is out of credit, but as soon as the owner pays for more time, the amount he has gone into debt is immediately deducted from the account.

I would also guess that What3ver is correct on the long distance issue, because I know for a fact that he has a lot of experience calling to and from Mexican phones. Hell, he is the person I usually ask first when I have a question about it.

When you're out of credit on a Baja Celular phone, you can't receive calls whether the caller uses 044 or not. I have a Baja Celular and know this from experience. Supposedly you can on a Telcel line though.

Yes, Explorer has obviously never heard of 'El que llama paga'.

Ok, just got my TJ phone bills. When I make a call to my amigas cel phone (which is in my name) I get billed on my land line at home for calling a cel phone, AND I get billed on the cel phone. I also get billed for one minute on BOTH if the voice mail message STARTS to answer WHETHER OR NOT I leave a message. So, adding my landline, my US cel service, and her mexican cel service, my phone bills this month are more than my rent. How far would the old tin cans and string thing work?

CF, all I have to say is try some indian smoke signals. Create a bon fire of the vanities outside your house, place a blanket on top, gather some smoke, then release. Let your favorite know what time you are sending the signals so she can go outside and translate the morse coded signals.

For her to return your smoke signals, all she has to do is go to a churo stand, order some churos, place a blanket on top of the oil cooker, gather smoke, send signals back and also enjoy those yummy churos. Yet be warned, she may turn into a gordita after sending you multiple churo signals!


Raiders 'will work for churos'.

mmmmmmmmm, chhhhhuuuuurrrrrroooossssssss....

There's guys who sell them on the beach here, have little carts with an oil cooker.

A Cheat to Remember

The urge to purge is overwhelming as I think about an extraordinary 2 days in the zona. But, it is hard to imagine any 2 days in the zona not being extraordinary. Maybe that is why it is habit forming.

Most of my recent experiences in TJ have been with and about my amiga, who is at home at the moment. And it is her being at home that created the opportunity for this adventure.

Cheating on My Amiga

It was 7 AM on a recent rainy morning when she and I got into our separate cabs. She was going to the airport and I was going to the border. The last things she said to me between kisses were "Quidarte mucho … Te quiero mucho … no otra mujeres." "No otra mujeres" I can still hear ringing in my ears. Can she read my mind? No! Does she have astonishing intuition? Yes! And she also understands the power of pussy, much better than any of us men. She has told me, pussy can make men do things that they don't plan to do. Pussy can make men do things that they know are wrong and that they know that they will regret later. So, it is safe to say that, at least theoretically, a man could be sitting in a bar, having a few beers, not even thinking about pussy, and the right (or wrong) chica could get him in her sites, and he is a goner before he knows it. I know this because my amiga explained it to me.

When she went home for 3 weeks last summer, I had no trouble staying out of AB, out of the zona, and out of TJ. But, now, it is different, not because I care less, but because I am beginning to enter the survival mode. She will soon be gone for good, she says. I don't know if it will be in a few weeks or a few months, but I can already feel myself starting to pull away, not pulling away big time, but enough that when she told me about her Spring vacation, I soon began to think about what I would do while she was gone.

The first week of her vacation, I decided to go to TJ on the 1-½ days usually spent with her, and see what happens. I decided to turn up the potential for high adventure by staying at Cascadas. My plan was to make the rounds between Miami, LC, and Tropical and never go near AB. The next day, I'd sleep in and stop in at Executivo on my way back.

Yea, I know it. I'm cheating on my GF. It's wrong. I'm shameless after all the romantic times I've shared with her. "Dang me, dang me, they ought to take a rope and hang me" as the song goes.

Casadas

Arriving at Casadas mid afternoon, I got a room on piso 4, in the back, where I hoped it would be somewhat quieter. Some places in Casadas, you might as well be trying to sleep in the street, the noise level is the same.

The place has gone downhill since my last stay, at least in terms of cleanliness. The room stank, the walls had major stains, the toilet was dirty, the sheets were stained, gray, torn, thread bare, but seemed washed. But, with no mattress pad, I did not want to think of the flimsy barrier between me and who knows what. Then I noticed the spread. Definitely should be changed. I took it off and asked the hall guy to bring a clean blanket.

I had notice that the door across the hall was open but did not see who was in the room. The hall guy returns with the blanket. I smell it. Smells OK. We shake it open for inspection. Looks OK. As he is remaking the bed, a chica appears in the door. She asks for a blanket and indicates the room across the hall. He leaves to get her a blanket and she turns to go back to her room.

In the 30 seconds that she was standing in the doorway, I was able to make a quick physical evaluation. No make up and pretty, nice hair in a ponytail, slim, good figure shows through the jeans and sweatshirt. I later learn that she is 26 years old, 1.65 meters and 48 kilos. That would put her at 5'3" and 106 lbs, and a classic morena Mexicana beauty.

Dashing to my door, she is just entering her door. "Hola, soy ___" I quickly stammer. She turns and smiles. "Hola, soy Margarita" and then she caught herself. "Por favor, llamame Andrea". She had accidentally given me her real name. We stood in our mutual doorways and talked. She is from Guadalajara, dances in an exclusive club, "no sex, only dancing". Her club was closed this week. A friend of hers had worked at Miami and told her it would be good for a week. She had just arrived that morning and talked to the manager. He insisted she go to the medico before she could work. She had just returned from the medico. It was 3:15. She was told to report at 5 PM.

She asked me about a place to eat. I told her that I was about to go myself to a place on this block, good food, and always clean, and asked if she wanted to go. She accepted and we went to the cafe next to AB.

I know it was stupid to go there. Did I want to get caught? I don't know. It is just one of the best little restaurants in the area and I wanted her to know about it. I can stay out of AB, but I can't be ducking and hiding in the rest of the zona. Of course, while we were eating, two chicas came over to say "Hola" and to get a closed look at the chica with me, that no one knew. I did not introduce her. But, for sure, favorita will know. But, she does not know yet. I would have picked it up on the phone.

Andrea had many questions about Miami/HK, most of which I could not answer. Still, we had a good conversation. I liked her. I understood most of what she said. She understood most of my Spanish. The conversation flowed easily and there was good eye contact. Leaving, she wanted to pay for her meal. I insisted on paying the $145 pesos tab. We walked back to Casadas. We agreed to meet later at Miami. She went upstairs; I went to the farmacia.

Miami

Arriving at Miami, I was surprised at how crowded it was on a weekday afternoon. All tables around the dance floor were filled, as were the second ring of tables. I took a seat at the far bar, which was mostly deserted, except for a gorda at the end and a guy starting to set up the bar. I surveyed the place, didn't see her, and ordered a beer. Before the beer arrived, I saw a chica that could be her walking my way from the direction of the banos. As she got closer, I did not think it was her. But this chica was stunning. Beautiful face, long chestnut brown hair, and a luscious, slender body shown off very nicely by a form fitting, red shimmering dress, several inches above the knee.

She smiles warmly as she slides onto the stool next to me. It is her! "Que tal?" I ask. "Nerviosa" she answers. "Gustarias algo beber?" "Si, cheli". As she finishes her second small beer, a guy wearing a headset comes over and speaks to her. I can't hear the conversation as he is standing on the other side and she is facing away. He leaves. She takes the last gulp of beer and looks at me. "Bailando". I pour the rest of my beer in her glass. She downs it and slips off the stool. She then puts her purse on my lap and walks back towards the banos. The bar tender comes over and we both watch her curvaceous ass as she walks away. "Lucky man" he says to me.

But, I am now sitting there alone at the bar with a woman's purse on my lap. A Mexicano walks by and looks at me. I put it under my shirt.

She is the second to dance. I walk over and stand by the pillar to see better. Oh, can she move. On the second song, she is down to bra and panties. She has already collected about $10. As she unhooks her bra, the guys start to cheer and she is all over the first guy she with another $1. All of a sudden all the guys around the floor are waving dollars. She takes them one at a time and gives each a full body smash into the booth. As she is smashing about the 4th guy, I see him reach behind her and quickly slip down her panties to her knees. The guy at the next table takes them down to her ankles. They work like a team and help her completely out of her panties.

I want to yell "You don't have to do that" but the place in so load with cheering men that nobody would hear. Well, on your first day, you might be taken advantage of in Mexico, or anywhere. She made the rounds for another 5 minutes completely sin ropas. It was a hit.

I took my seat back on the barstool. Half way through the next dancer she comes back, smiling, her hand choking a wad of dollars. She sits there and counts the money. $60 for one dance set. She puts the money into her purse, leans back, and puts her legs on my lap. "Comoda?" "Si."

As we sit there through a couple more beers, I realize that I am not willing to sit there for 6 more hours and she realizes that she needs to work. She tells me that she works until 1 AM, and that she will be exhausted. She asks me if we can meet for breakfast at 11 AM the next morning. Reluctantly, I agree. Reluctantly, because, I'm a friendly guy, but I already have a great friend. This trip is about erotic adventures. I am very attracted to her. I also know that in the zona, manana may never come.

Tropical and LC

I head over to Tropical and sit at the end of the bar. BT is also pretty full. I sit there for a couple of hours. I can't get her off my mind. I have 3 beers. There is a floorshow. At least one chica is nice. She has been there for about a year. Cute, personable morena, good body, good dancer. She comes over to the end of the bar. I place $20 pesos in her g-string. If I knew her, it might be possible. But, I not in the mood for a "shortie" and I don't really want to start from scratch with a new chica. I decide to kill the next few hours and try to hit Miami about 12:30.

Next stop is LC. As I walk in, there is a fight right at the end of the bar as you walk through the curtains. I was startled. Two waiters had a guy by the arms and he was struggling. Suddenly they lurched the 3 feet that separated us and fell into me, all of us hitting the floor. Another waiter, a big guy grabbed the guy by the head and picked him up, while the other two waiters kept the hold on his arms.

Someone helped me up. I wasn't hurt. The first 20 feet of the bar had cleared because of the fight. The two waiters pinned the guy against the bar and the big waiter started to slap him hard, open hand, back hand, open hand, back hand, followed by a punch in the gut. They then took him through the curtains.

I set at the bar, stunned. The bar tender placed a tequila in front of me and apologized for the fight. I was rattled. I drank the tequila. The waiters returned. People returned to sitting at the bar. I ordered a beer and sat there is silence. On the second beer, I decided to walk around LC. Standing back by the DJ booth, leaning against the wall, I realized that the tequila was a mistake. I asked the time 11:30 PM. I decided to go up to the room for an hour's rest before returning to Miami.

A Cheat to Remember

I remember lying down on the bed and closing my eyes. The next thing I remember was a knocking on the door, a tapping on the window, and then my name being called. I looked through the blinds … guess who? Yes, it was her.

I opened the door. "Can I come in?" "What time is it?" "1:30" "Yes, come in" "I was hoping you would come back," she said. I was having a hard time clearing my mind. We didn't speak for a minute. "Ducha" I said. She was energized, not exhausted. She bounced on the bed. "Yo tambien" she said. I sat there in amazement as I looked at the stunning mujer in the stunning red dress, and thinking that I must look like shit. "Bano primero". As I stood there pissing, I began to realize the potential of the night. My head began to clear, I felt a trickle of energy returning.

I opened the bathroom door and she was standing not 3 feet from the door, smiling, wearing nothing but a towel. The hot water only took 3 minutes to arrive, a record for Casadas. As we got into the shower, I thought, damn, I never tire of bathing with beautiful women. I especially loved running that bar of soap over her beautiful body.

After the shower, sitting on the bed, I thought, she is too gorgeous for Miami. She should work at AB. We talked about her night. She danced a total of 3 times. The first time was the best. But, the manager and other chicas told her not to let the guys take off her panties. Still, she made $70 on the last two dances. Total dance tips and fiches for the night were $160+. I didn't ask if she went to the hotel. I figured it was her business, not mine.

We sat on the bed, wrapped in our towels. I decided to order coffee. She said she would like a beer and something to eat. I let her place the order but asked for coffee, 3 beers, and 2 plates of whatever she wanted to eat.

We talked for an hour as we eat and drank. Then, as if a timer was set, we fell into a tender, and then passionate embrace. I also like kissing beautiful women and can get lost in a long, wet, sensual kiss. It happened that night. In fact, I was totally lost in the whole sexual experience with her. The alternating kissing, toughing, fondling, looking into her eyes, the oral sex, the fucking.

The Next Day

Holy shit, I've got to check out in 15 minutes I thought as I peeked at her watch, as she slept. I woke her and explained that it was 15 minutes to one in the afternoon. I quickly dressed, went down stairs, and got my key deposit back. When I returned to the room, she was not there. The room was empty. My bag was gone.

I'm a trusting guy and I could not let myself believe anything other than she had moved my stuff to her room. I knocked on the door. A big, fat, naked man opened the door …

I couldn't resist. She opened the door. Yes, my stuff was on the bed. She was in a towel. I closed the door. We showered and left the hotel to get breakfast (lunch). Back at the café next to AB, they were happy to fix eggs and ham at 2 PM. I said "Hola" to another AB chica. After breakfast, she wanted to go to the bank and we walked up to zona central.

Back at the hotel at 3 PM, we had 2 hours before she had to go to work. But, it was obvious that she had lost some of her sparkle. I asked what was wrong. "You are leaving today." "Yes."

Sex that afternoon was bittersweet. She clung to me, more than showing passion. It gave me a sense of urgency to leave. She asked me to come back to TJ before she left. She asked me to call her in Guadalajara.

I talked to her twice before she left. She asked me to come back, but I did not sense a lot of urgency. I suspect that had I met her on her 3rd, 4th, or 5th day in TJ that I would not have had the same experience with her. We met at a moment that I was looking for adventure and that she needed a friend to get over that tough first day, in a tough city, in a tough work environment.

However, I do hope to visit Guadalajara this summer and let her show me the city. But, then, it could be sooner, later, or never. I'm not sure what will happen when favorita returns.

I missed the part about the big fat naked man in your amiga's room. Are you saying that she secured a new client in the time it took you to check out?

Sorry, lame attempt at a joke.

Whistler, both of your last posts were awesome, the one about taking your amiga to your house was really cool. I was wondering what had been going on with that situation. Glad to hear it's going so well. Is the chica that said to call her Andrea still working at Miami or it sorta sounded like she returned home when you said "I talked to her twice before she left."
Keep those great stories coming, they are quite touching.

Adelito, she has returned to Guad. I waited until she left to post the account. In times past, on the old board, I've regreted giving info that could lead to direct contact. You never know about the lurkers.

Since posting about cheating on my amiga, I have received feed back that expresses reaction from "disappointment" to "You're stupid to risk fucking up something that took a year to build."

When forced to think about it, this is my conclusion.

I feel like shit about the incident in TJ. It is too much to go into here, but I will write about it, at least for myself. Bottom line, I did let her down.

At least partially, the reason I did it is that I am afraid of loosing her and I wanted to see if I could survive. She's going back home, for sure. That is not something I can control. And, I am not able to move 1,000 miles into MX. Being a realist, it seems certain that whatever our intentions are when she leaves, we will eventually drift apart.

Yes, there will be visits, but how many visits will she be willing to make, and how many will I be willing to make. The relationship is destined to deteriorate. I predict that she will be snapped up by a successful Mexicano within 6 months after she hits her home town, and he will know nothing of her past. She will have his children and live happily ever after.

So, I did it to reassure myself that when she leaves, I will be able to survive. Meanwhile, I am going to try to make the best of the time we have left.

Feedback appreciated.

Whistler,

In another area of this site, you've been giving me advice about the benefit of overcoming tremendous obstacles to get what I really want. In my case, it's the obstacle of distance. Well, I'm about to throw the same advice back at you.

You can't take back the cheating... what's done is done. Hopefully, she won't find out and you won't have to resort to damage control.

You've invested a year in this thing. That's a lot. You owe it to yourself to see if the overwhelming odds can be overcome. Maybe it seems too much at the first, second, or even the hundredth glance. But have you really explored all the possibilities? Maybe you think you have, but...

I don't have any concrete suggestions, other than to say, if she's worth it, there has to be a way. Don't let pessimism and negative thinking drag you down.

You are treading on ground that no one here has walked on, at least not that I know of. But that doesn't mean that you can't blaze your own path.

Admittedly, I'm a hopeless romantic. Who says long-distance relationships can't work out? If it's meant to be, you'll find a way.

Whistler,
i've been following this thread since the first post in silence. marveled at your experiences and writing expertise. i think you should go back to the top and re-read your own thoughts. to let this chica go home may be something you will forever regret. sure the choice is not yours alone--and i haven't dated anything but a latina for 15 years-so i have some experience. generally latina's will follow their man--family is important, but when love is involved they follow their man. the fact that she owns property and has her own house is great. she has something to show for her time. even though it sounds simple to most--you know that many of those girls can't save their dough or use it constructively. ask her to follow you--she doesn't need to sell the house. her family can take care of it--it can be rented or used by a family member--their are many answers. i feel your passion in your posts and i feel strongly that if you don't try to make a permanent connection here you will spend a lot of time wondering what if. if you make a real effort and for whatever reason it doesn't work out i think you(and her) will be glad you tried. sure i'm another hopeless romantic, but as i believe raiders said "follow your heart." i think most of us are rooting for you.

Farsider, the input does make sense coming back at me. You're right, if I want it to continue with her, then I have to look for a way for it to work and not assume that it will necessarily fade away because of distance. That's good input.

It would be easier if I knew what I wanted. All along I've tried to make sure that it was worth it "for today" and if it ended today, I would not regret it. And, it is true.

For many months I've assumed that it would end when she left. Some reprogramming of my mind is in order.

Sampson, her following me, that's an option that I haven't considered. Why, I'm not sure. It's the most logical option from my standpoint. It's a little scary, thinking about her living with me, and a lot to ask of her. I'm not sure she has ever thought it possible. It's a huge leap. It really gives me something to think about and I'll think about it a lot. Thanks for the excellent input.

Sampson's advice is excellent, and I'd like to second it. I think you are severely limiting yourself by not allowing yourself to consider the possibility that she might be willing to follow you. In the end, it comes down to this... what do YOU want? You need to evaluate that, and it's good that you've realized it.

Right now, you're coming to the end of the feel-good stage of the relationship, where only the present matters and no thought is given to the future. But things don't stay in that stage very long; they either move forward or slide back. And it's complicated here, because she appears to have future plans of her own. Notice I said, "appears."

Think it over, and if you decide that you'd like your future to include her in some way, here's a humble suggestion. Take her on that Disneyland trip that she's been dreaming of (and for heaven's sake, check out the weather forecast beforehand!). Show her the time of her life. Then, near the end of the day, bring up the future. Hey, if you want to be all mushy and romantic about it, sit her down near that big castle in the center.

You might just find that she's been waiting for you to make the first move, all along.

Just my two cents here... but from what you've written about her, she appears to be a true gem, with none of the baggage you'd expect to find in an AB working chica. If I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd be inclined to let her get away that easily.

Whistler,

I disagree with those who called you "stupid" and I think you should not let them bother you. They are entitled to their opinions, however, they should not use such harsh word while you're searching for your own soul. Here are my two cents regard your situation. I personally think you have found the answer to your problem by being a REALIST. However, if YOU ARE REALLY LOVE HER and WANTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO WORK...here are some of my suggestions:
1. I sense that you have nvr visited Guadalajara (GDL), why not pay a visit, perhaps more than once to check out the environment, living condition, and job opportunity. From what I've heard from my amigas, GDL is a beautiful city with an European flavor and Jalisco (beach city) is only 30 min drive.
2. Suggest to her of a mutual location like Rosarito or Ensennada where both of you could happily and comfortably live and you would visit her family in GDL annually.
3. Look for a job with an American company that does business in GDL. This is a great chance to get an extended stay and earning a living while you're at it. If your relationship works out, that's great...if not, there is always a way back.
4. STAY AWAY FROM THE ZONA FOR AWHILE. I'm not criticizing you, but this is not the time for you to screw around. You need to get your head cleared up, and also give your amiga a chance to prove to you how much she means to you. Let see what her reaction/feeling to you would be once she's home for good.
5. I don't recommend you to dumb your amiga, but why not pay a visit to local Hispanic bars/clubs in LA, Orange, and San Diego counties. Perhaps, you could meet someone nice, and don't have to move 1000 miles deep in MX.

At this moment, I would like to tell you a bit about myself, and also tell you a little story that indicated you're not alone in this subj. From reading both of your GREAT posts, I know I'm a lot younger than you are. I have been seriously mongering for over a year. I like Adelitas because it's a place where I can drink, smoke, and get varieties AT THE SAME TIME. This bar also makes me feel like a family. From the manager, the guards, the bartenders, and all the meseros, they all treated me with respect and vice versa.
During my mongering time, I have met and dated several HC cutie. No need to mention any name, but I would provide some hints of whom they are. "S" the Icequeen, "X" Kate Winslet look-alike, and "J" the College Girl. They all are great women, sensual, seductive, and sincere outside of their working environment. I did enjoy their company doing activities or just hanging out at their homes. They all were special, but I did not love nor had any strong feeling for any of them.

Mongering was great until I met "A" about a month ago. Two words: fricking NATURAL BEAUTY. This gal would put Salma Heyak and all above three gals to shame. From the beginning, I have sensed that this gal would be trouble for me. I met "A" on her 5th day in TJ, and she only planned to be there for 8 days. We spent her last three days together. The first night, I followed the regular routine by paying for her service. But the next two nights, it was.."no quierro deniro"..and she would get real pissed when I put or stuck them in her purse while she's not looking. I would find the money to be back in my pocket after I leave her room the next day. The morning she went back to GDL, she whispered in my ear..."te quierro mucho, I wait for you", and tears started rolling down her face as she found her sit inside the cab.

Frick...I really hate this feeling. I'm a monger, I'm not suppose to have any feeling for any gal. I have met, known, and dated so many of them, but I nvr have this loneliness, emptiness, and confuse feeling I'm having. (If any of you reading this, I'm not bragging at all!!! Trust me I'm very fortunate for having "knowning" many women. I do treat them with respect. I have nvr considered them as "prostitutes" but rather as "entertainers". And I'm absolutely do not like the idea of "fricking" women for free.)

I didn't know how sincere she is until I got a call from her at 2:30pm the same day as she got to her house in GDL from the airport. Since then, in about 9 days, I have received about 5 msgs from her, speaking slowyly in Spanish because she's well aware of my limited Spanish. She sent me numerous emails of her latest pics, her family pics, and the beautiful city of GDL. She also told me how pissed she is because I haven't called her. She didn't realize that I couldn't call her for some reason. Sometimes, I would hear "..no pagas..." or "...incorrecto numero..". Man, I wish I should have spent two years learning Spanish than French.

I am still trying to avoid her questions of what do I think of living in GDL with her and her family. I suggested to her of the mutual location in Rosarito. I can picture myself living in Rosarito, working or open some kind of business there. But Guadalajara???? Shoot...that's 1000 miles deep. She said she would think about it, but at this moment she can't because her mom, family, and friends are all in GDL. When I asked her how much money I would be able to make in GDL if I found a job there. She told me that I could make $150 USD/week...shoot that much less than 10% of my annual salary.

Whister, I know I haven't known her for as long as you have known yours. But I'm a strong believer of love at first sight. That how I have met and dated my 2 US Latina ex-gf for an extended period of time. I know it's way to early to wonder with those serious issues with her. I don't even know why or how it started. But I do know it started from attraction, chemistry, feeling, and now stronger feeling that we have for each other.

For now REALITY starts kicking in, and I tried to hold my ground. But her beauty, genuine personality, and her gracious smile constantly testing my will and desire.

Sakebomb, its nice to know that there are a few romantics out there. It sounds like you are closer to a long term chica relationship then I am. She has not asked me to live with her. She has only said that I could stay at her house.

We both suffer from indecision. Most people have missed opportunities,from indecision, that they later regret. Could I make the adjustment and live in MX? I don't know. Could she make the adjustment and live in the U.S.? I don't know.

I'm also skeptical about long term relationships, having had a marriage fail after many years. Relationships are tough under ideal circumstances. When you add complicating factors like culture and age differences, it can really be tough.

You idea about working for a company that does business in MX is a good one. That is worth considering, although she does not live in GDL or MX City, so the chance of working in her city is small. But, I'm going to see what I can find out.

I also agree that this is not the time to be screwing around. I regret doing it. I'd undo it if I could.

Sounds like you're having a great time in AB. Me too. I wouldn't trade my mongering or GF experiences for anything. Thanks for your thoughtful feedback.

I too have been seeing one woman I met at AB exclusively for about 6 months. I see her every weekend (out of the zone) and we talk on the phone during the week. My approach is to take things real slow because of the vast difference in our backgrounds. She's a great friend and thoroughly enjoyable. I enjoy her showing me around TJ (her hometown) and she enjoys coming to San Diego with me. We have a special little hotel in the playas that we spend a lot of time at. One thing for sure, I'm keeping this relationship on the "friend level". After 10 years of marriage and 14 years of bachelorhood after the marriage, I know which I prefer. Doesn't mean that I won't always be there if she needs help, and, maybe someday I just may decide she's all the woman I need. What it does mean is that I'm not making any promises. I'm very skeptical of monogamy and the concept of love and I really believe that familiarity breeds contempt. Have fun with your relationships, be kind, be gentle, but never do something because of a woman that you wouldn't want to do for yourself. Like moving to some little dusty town in the middle of Mexico.

ldv

I hate it when she wants Chinese. No ethnic connotations here, but Chinese food has never been a favorite. And, especially in MX, I want to eat Mexican. Most of my life, I’ve been plagued with women that like Chinese food. Now that I have a Mexican GF, it is not any better.

The other day, I was sitting in a cab outside favorita’s apartment at the 12 PM agreed time. In the past month, we have met this way because of her 5-year-old. The child and I have become too attached. This became apparent a month ago when she and I were dropping him off at the baby sitter and he wouldn’t leave my arms, even though he loves the sitter and his best friend was there. Nor, would he go to his mother. Finally, she grabbed him from my arms, thrust him into the arms of the sitter, and dragged me out of there by the hand. The crowning blow for her was that I started to side with the child, showing that I was willing to alter our plans of dinner, movie, bath, and bed, for the child.

Later that night at dinner, we decided to minimize my contact with the boy, after I admitted that I would miss him almost as much as her, when they return home to central MX. This day as I sat in the cab and waited, I realized that I may never again see much of the boy, a great little guy that had taught me many Spanish words that I otherwise would not know, like ball, throw, catch, hit, toy, and phrases like “lets play”, “read to me”, “lets hide”, and “lets go outside”. Yes, she was absolutely right! I am too attached to him! One love in that house is enough to try to control.

As the cab door popped open I was startled because of my deep thought about the boy. But, the present quickly returned as I looked into the face that has captivated me these 14 months. To me, she is a classic Latin beauty, with thick dark brown hair, brown sparkling eyes, perfect skin, beautiful smile, all proudly carried above a size 5 all natural body that turns heads every time we are in public. It is lucky that I have been able to conquer the jealousy thing.

As she entered the cab and slid across the seat, she placed a gift-wrapped box on my lap. There was no chance to look at the box, as she slipped her arms around my neck and pressed her soft lips against mine. In 10 seconds I was lost again. It often happens to me when kissing her. I get lost in the kiss. I thought that this was something that only happens to girls. Before her, it never happened to me. Kissing was just a prelude to sex. With her, a kiss is very nice on it’s own merits.

“Ahem, ahem, perdon” said the voice from the front seat. He said it shyly. At least a minute had gone by that he had had to endure the smacking noise from the back seat. The three of us sat in the cab for an embarrassed moment. “A donde?” he asked. Before I could speak she announced “Adelitas”, and we drove off. Looking at her I asked “Adelitas?” “Baby shower” she said in English. That explained the gift. This could be interesting.

The sky was cloudless and the sun bright as we entered AB. Entering AB at 12:30 PM is like entering a movie theater at 12:30 PM. She walked first through the curtains; I followed close behind, like a hen pecked novio, which I am not. She was walking fast. My eyes had not adjusted. Suddenly, my right foot caught the leg of a barstool that was placed there for a gringo whose eyes hadn’t adjusted. Luckily, the music volume hid the sound of the crashing stool. Still, I felt like a buffoon. She looked back and kept walking, pointing to the area back and to the right of the bar. I stopped to pick up the stool and then walked slowly through a deserted Hottie Central and took the last seat at the end of the bar. It was the perfect place to watch AB chicas play, party, and celebrate among themselves.

Favorita came over and took my hand. With the other hand she picked up an empty beer bottle, banged on the bar and yelled to the bartender only 4 feet away “Un Pacifico, por favor!” Damn, these chicas can make some noise when they want attention!

I counted 22 chicas taking part in the shower. I knew or recognized most of the chicas. Several of them came over to say “Hola. Como estas?” and then make small talk. But two chicas separately said almost the same thing as they returned to the shower. It is something that still rings in my head and translates to “Treat her well.” I always treat her well. What do they mean?

The chicas were dressed about half in street clothes and half in working clothes. The chica of honor sat in a chair and opened gifts one by one. I thought the gifts were on the generous side, but these are chicas with disposable incomes. The chicas laughed, hollered, shouted, and giggled like any group of 20’s something women. Even the chicas that I consider hardened were laughing freely and having a good time.

A little after 1:30 on the sidewalk outside AB, she looks into my squinting eyes and asks “Hue quieres hacer?” “Comer” “Yo tambien.” “Cuales” “Chinese” Damn it, why did I ask which? I should have just said lets eat Mexican. But, I am the caballero and she is the beautiful senorita, so off we go to a restaurant that only has Chinese writing on the windows.

Inside, the place is clean and is about half full of people, equally divided between Mexicans and Asians. I am the only exception.

A cute Asian waitress gives us menus and begins to jabber. I don’t even recognize the language, let alone understand. Then I pick up the words “cocina” and “recomenda” and I assume she is speaking broken Spanish with an Asian accent and giving us the specials of the day. She goes for two long minutes then stops talking and looks at us. Five seconds of silence, and we say “Gracias” at the same time. She walks away.

“Entiendes?” I ask. “No, tu?” favorita responds. “No” I say and we both break into a hearty belly laugh like two teenagers after their first joint. It is such a funny situation, sitting in a restaurant, and we both have a language problem. It was one of those rare moments that we were laughing so hard, and people were looking at us, and the harder we tried to stop, the worse it got. Finally, we stopped, tears running down both our cheeks, only to erupt into laughter again 10 seconds later.

Back in the cab, we headed to Plaza Rio to see La Mexicana, and she is telling me about her week at work, about the volume, Cinco de Mayo, new chicas, and one pervert. Amazing stories. I wish that I had encouraged her to keep a journal a long time ago.

We returned to her apartment after the movie. This is unusual, but since I was not spending the night in TJ, she arranged for the sitter to take the boy rather that staying at the apartment. It was a little before 6 PM. The sitter would return with the boy after 8 PM. Her apartment is not luxurious, but it is always very clean. I sat on the small couch and looked out the window. She brought out a bottle of Don Julio Anejo that she had given me as a gift in the fall, and I asked if I could keep it at her place. She put one of my favorite CD’s on, “Un Sueno”, and said “Practicamos bailar.” I can dance OK, but not to Cumbia. We’ve been trying to get me to the point that I can dance Cumbia in public, but the dance lessons never last very long.

After the first song, she excused herself, “bano.” After a couple of minutes I hear water running. She sticks her head around the corner. “Lets have a shower.”

And that is a pretty typical day with my amiga.

For me, at this time, it is my preferred TJ activity.

I have become friends with several of the girls @AB over the years and we separate business and pleasure. If we go out to eat on their day off no sucky fucky if I or they want sucky fucky then I do that when they are working. This has allowed me to make many a good chica friend as well as referrals to other chicas when they get a novio.
Above all just remember where you met them, what they were doing for a living when you met them and above all enjoy yourself.We go to play and pay not stay

Well said Soberdude.

I became very good friends with one of the CC girls and for the most part enjoyed the experience. What happened though over time was that as we got increasingly involved in each other's personal lives, I could not reconcile how I was feeling about her with her chosen profession.

At the same time she had no way out due to severe financial family pressures. I guess that's bullshit to some degree. There is always a way out, but in her case the options were more limited than usual. And to be honest, I'm not so sure that she wanted out. Dealers (be it pot, bod, used cars, or financial securities) get hooked on dealing.

I would visit her back home and met many members of her family. She had one sister in particular, that I grew very fond of as a friend. But after one of these visits back home, when I began to watch her metamorphosize back into the bar girl, I just couldn't go back to a customer status. She read this on me and we parted with angry words.

I would guess that my message is that depending on what you end up looking for, getting close to one of the girls could be a no win situation that gets painful. I was ok with my arrangement with her for a long time, but reached a point where it was a dead end I didn't want to continue.

I really don't have any complaints about any of this. It was a memorable experience, but one I would approach again with added caution.

Getting to know a working chica is like reading a very good book. When it is over, you enjoyed it tremendously, sorry to have it end, but not sorry at all that you read it.

I am into a very long book right now. It will be ending soon. I will be sad, but never regret the experience.

Knowing a working chica is not for everyone. Some guys just want a good fuck. That's fine. But, a friendship/romance with a working chica can be quite an experience. It has enriched my life.

Ever since I discovered Adelita's my MO has pretty much been the same. Although I have screwed many girls there , I usually find one that I like and we become to a certain extent...friends. To me it is a much more satisfying, but sometimes painful experience. It is good to have sex with lots of different women, but when you find one that is fun to hangout with and talk to all night as well as have sex...it's great. I didn't speak any spanish when I started going to AB 2 years ago. Now I can get by just fine if the girl speaks no english. I'm not yet fluent, but it's been a great bonus besides just sex to really learn alot.

Of course one of the negatives is when you get close with one of these girls alot of emotions come into play for both of you and the potential exists that you'll hurt each other...but that is the same in any relationship. In addition to that I always am conscious of the likelyhood that she doesn't really give a shit about me other than that I keep bringing her money. I would like to hope it is more than that to her, but who knows what they really think? Lord knows I've been lied to by enough of them that I should have them figured out by now.

I'm pretty much addicted to my favorita at the moment and can't sop thinking about her, but I felt the same way about the last one and the one before her too. Alternatively, I have gone home with a BIG smile on my face after a session with Perlita or Carla Picasso or some other random one timer, so "To Favorita or not to Favorita"? THAT is the question.

Adelito, you probably know my bias.

I've been active with woman all my life, so I have many experiences with which to compare my AB amiga relationship. I've been "in love" before and don't think I am 'in love" now, but there has never been an experience that has been such an adventure, such an education, and very emotionally satisfying.

Successful relationships in the zona are rare. But, there are intelligent, caring, trustworthy, and loyal chicas in the zona. I was lucky to find one, although, I wasn't looking, at the time.

There are several rules that I have found necessary for protection. Here are the ones that I can think of, now.

Love her, love being with her, but don't fall "in love" with her. This means that it is too risky to give unconditional romantic love. It is essential to maintain some control over your emotions. For me, sometimes, this feels like trying to control a horse that wants to break into a full gallop. But, it is a must.

The relationship has to be worth it all along. If you have 10 dates with her and each one is great, it is OK if something happens. This is because you received your payment in pleasure each time, so you'll never regret the 10 dates.

It does not matter if she feels the same as you. Throw that question out of your mind. It will only screw up your thinking and you'll never know the answer. The important thing is how do you feel when you are with her. Do you feel great? Do you love the time with her? If you answered yes, keep seeing her until the answers change.


Jealousy is something that must be conquered, if there is any chance for a relationship. What has worked for me is to avoid AB, if possible, and see her away from the club.

I hope this helps. There are so many bonuses to exploring a TJ chica, I'd say go for it, for the adventure, if nothing else.

Best of luck, amigo.

To Favorita or to Not Favorita, is definitely the question. I met my Novia in Aug. 2000. She is not a Zona Chica but was a working girl. She wasn't the most popular chica working at *********, but she did get her share of posts on the board. It wasn't until 7 months after I met her that we took our relationship to the next level. I would see her on the average of once a week until Dec. 2000. I brought her a Christmas gift not knowing at that time I wouldn't see her again for almost 3 months. At that time she was definitely my favorita, and I was not seeing anybody else north or south of the border. My business required strict attention following New Years, and I returned to see her again shortly after Valentine's Day. During this time we had zero contact. I did not have her phone number, although she did have mine, at that time her limited english prevented any phone contact. When I met her in the reception area I could immediately tell she was happy to see me. She greeted me with a hug that we still talk about today. It was one of those hugs when neither one of us wanted to let go. We must have stood there hugging in the lobby for a good two minutes, when she whispered into my ear, "I had a dream about you". It was that night that I knew I had met the woman for me. We continued to see each other at her place of employment, but no longer did I wish to continue a intimate relationship there. It was mutually agreed if we wanted to "be together" that we would go to a hotel. So, I started paying the hefty outcall prices and during that time we would go out for dinner and then to a hotel. Many times we would just lay in bed and watch TV. She loves watching the Discovery Channel. I can remember one night we watched a fight together. What a woman. So that brings us up to the present. She is no longer working, much to my happiness. But that had to be her decision. We have met various members of each others family, and now she is wearing a beautiful engagement ring that I recently gave her. That was my birthday present to her. (my birthday, not hers) I help her out financially, but we are building a future together. Her english is improving much faster than my spanish, luckily for me. She plans on returning to school in September and studying computers and English. I have seen a different side of her. The difference between business and reality. I treat her with respect and we "just don't" talk about her working days. It's part of the past, and I guess you can say lucky for me it was. So, to all of you guys out there asking yourself the very same question, To Favorita or not to Favorita? I say go for it, you just might find a little happiness out there with a wonderful woman, I did.

I like what you said Whistler about putting out of my mind what I think she is thinking, because it is just speculation. About the jealousy part...that's not an issue for me. I actually would like to see her make lots of money. Sometimes when I see her leaving with a cliente I give her the thumbs up and a big smile. Also, it really doesn't bother me what she does for a living...hell, if any women would pay me for sex, I'd do it too. I mean really, why would someone doing what we are doing...paying for sex...mind that a girl we like gets paid for sex. If you don't like girls like that, don't go to TJ. Stay home and whack off or find a legitimate girl at home.

She, however is jealous of me being in AB and has told me it makes her uncomfortable when I am there. She has a couple of friends that always seem to be there, one of whom tells her every move I make while there, the other whom I formerly dated. I didn't have sex with my current fav until 2 months ago when we were both in Nuevo Laredo, although I have known her for about 2 years. We would always talk and I'd buy her a drink, but never anything more. I was going to the room with her "sister"(turns out they're really friends)...my first AB favorita and thought it would be rude or something. Actually I found several other girls more attractive and just wasn't in to her like that...funny how things change. Now I can't get enough of her. When we spend the night together we usually hacer el amor(not coger, chingar, sucky fucky or any other groceria, which she forbids me from using) 3 times in about a 10-12 hour period. That's alot for me. I'm still sore from yesterday morning. As far as not going to AB, that is difficult because I love the place, but I know she'd prefer it. Usually she calls me and we arrange a time and I pick her up at home, but this last weekend we were supposed to meet at midnight Sunday, but she didn't say where. So I went to AB, but she wasn't there. I went to her house and her roommate's husband told me she wasn't there either, so I returned to AB and began to wonder if I needed to move to plan B. I had dinner with her "sister" at Cafe Monte Carlo and then she wanted to go upstairs. I told her maybe a bit later, so she returned to work...good thing, because favorita shows up about 20 minutes later. Of course somehow the other friend already told her I was hanging out with the "sister". It was really pretty amusing. I have a good time teasing her about "sister". Turns out she was late because she had some 3 hour deal with some other cliente. I didn't mind at all, I had company while I waited.

Sundance, your story is great. I hope it works for you. Buena suerte, amigo.

I'm really going to try to just enjoy the times we have together and not allow myself to care too much. It is pretty exciting and down right interesting seeing them outside of work. It's kinda like getting to go backstage and hangout with your favorite movie star. Imagine taking Julia Roberts or Jennifer Lopez out after a day at the set and getting to see what there real life is like...meet their friends(and be treated as one of their friends), go to their house, learn about them as people, not just working girls, and having sex as much as you want instead of the dreaded knock at 20-30 minutes...it's cool.

Thanks again Whistler, I enjoy and respect your experiences down south. If we ever meet, the first round is on me.

Adelito, you have a very good perspective to maximise the rewards of a true friendship (or romance) with her. Knowing my amiga on a deeper level has been like peeling the layers of an onion. I'm still peeling layers and each one is fascinating. I'm beginning to think the layers are endless.

It is important that you are getting your payback (whatever that is) on a very regular basis. Then, if one day something happens, there are no regrets.

I like your analogy about going backstage. It is exactly like that, but even more so for me. In my 1 1/2 years of mongering, before the relationship, I began to wonder what was behind the curtain, so to speak. As you know, going behind the curtain is like going down the rabbit hole. It is a different world.

Wishing you the most exciting of adventures.

Hey Whistler,

I guess I am not too sure how things are going to go after the next time I see her...you probably recall from the thread above about her request for a loan. I still haven't quite decided how I want to handle it, but I'll be the first to admit it if I was suckered. I know this is a possibility, I just hope it doesn't work out badly. The irony is if I did loan her the money and she doesn't make good then she would be the real loser, because if things continue as they are then she stands to make alot more than $1000 from me. Maybe making her wait a month would help determine whether she was planning on leaving as Westfargo suggests. She tells me she is moving her kids back here from Nuevo Laredo as soon as they are out of school next month. So we'll see.

It's always great hearing from you. Do you hang out at AB much anymore or do you pretty much avoid it? It sounds like your novia is back home so you're free to roam. Shoot me an email if your going to be down there and we can meet for a beer. I am working alot of overtime this week and next, but I'm sure I'll manage to squeeze in at least one trip down.

Adelito, yes, I remember about the loan. If she throws away the relationship because you didn't loan her the money, her main motivation is probably money. Be careful how you turn her down. Do it in a way that allows her to save face.

My friend is still in TJ and we are as close or closer than ever. Initially, she was going to leave in May. Now, I don't know. There is not a firm date, but I'm sure it will be soon. I don't ask. I don't want to dread it. I only focus on the week at hand and enjoy it.

I'm in AB fairly often, but not just hanging out. Thanks for the beer invitation. I'm working a heavy schedule also, so the first priority in TJ is the amiga. When she leaves, I should have plenty of time.

Whistler,

Good advice about the saving face part. I initially told her it would take some time to get that much money together, not specifying whether or not I would do it, but needed to think about it. I am expecting a call from her Friday to see if I am coming to see her this weekend. I also told her I am working alot this week and may not be able to come this weekend, so I don't really think she expects me to be handing over the cash right away.

I keep going back and forth as to how I want to handle it with her. I want to continue as things are, but she really put me on the spot with this request. On one hand it seems like she's testing me to see what she can get away with, which means she sees me as a sucker. On the other hand when I think of how she treats me when we are together...totally unlike any of the many others I've experienced down there...it makes me want to do something extraordinary for her.

I'll just continue to weigh the risks and make my final decision at the appropriate time.

I reread this whole thread last night and one of the things that you said you really love about your friend is when she falls asleep in your arms. It made me think back to the nights I have spent with my friend and she always does that too. She always cuddles up next to me and pulls my arm around her and lays her head on my chest and falls asleep so peacefully. At these times she seems more fragile and vulnerable, like a woman that needs her man, not like a hardened hooker that is trying to con me out of my last cent. When we make love there are no fake moans or rush to get it done. In fact one of the times we did it last weekend after I came she made me keep going for about another 5 or 6 minutes til she finished. I surprised myself by being able...even wanting to keep going...usually as soon as I am done I am done. She told me at one point that if we are to be together I had better plan on sex about 3 times every day. And speaking of orgasms I believe I can tell the difference when they pretend to have one or really do, and in my opinion this girl is the only hooker I have ever been with in TJ to really have one. They all pretend to, this one I believe. I think it has something to do with the history between us, we were friends for over 1 1/2 years before we got together. I hope that friendship will survive this business.

Here's my .02 on the matter: 1. These girls are also human beings. 2. If you were to list the reasons why most women go into that "trade" you would find most of them to be synonymous with needing someone (dysfunctional families, single parents, young, pretty, no marketable skills). 3. They like sex as much as you, and, if you turn them on, they will have an orgasm (or two). ;-)

I have a special friend who from the beginning would tell me that she enjoyed having sex with me more than anyone else. At first, I thought it was something she also told everyone and brushed it off. As I saw here more frequently, I would last longer before climaxing, sometimes she was completely soaked. I also liked the fact that she would masturbate at the same time (I had never experienced that). While she really never asked me for anything, one day she hinted to me that there were some toys she had heard of in the U.S. side (and her not crossing) and would like for her kids. About a week later I picked them up for her (totally a wopping $12.00 or so). We continued at about the same pace. One day, out of the blue, I asked her if she would have dinner with me sometime, she hesitated at first and then said yes. I saw her a few more times at the club and she would mention how she thought I would make a good partner (mate, husband, I don't know).
As much as I wanted to pursue that relationship I could see disaster ahead and decided to stop frequenting that club.
I wish things could be different, such as having met her somewhere else, before I was elsewhere committed. If I was able to pursue the relationship, I would do it and if she would leave that line of work I would not think twice about her past. She is a beautiful person, pretty, good bodied, caring, funny, smart, witty, and has many more positive attributes to her. I was just afraid that someone would be hurt.
I never once felt jealousy when I saw her with other guys at the club, and once I became a good customer (steady) she would sit with me for lots of time without asking for anything. I did feel bad about "seeing" other girls at the club when she was there for some weird reason, but she told me several times that she appreciated it that I did not.
I guess it's just a complicated thing, that I cannot begin to describe and I wanted to share it because I see a similar story with the same foundational issues on here over and over.
The bottom line is make your decisions from two places: your heart and your head (the one on your shoulders, the other one will most definitely lead you the wrong way). And if you can, go for it.
Have a blast and give em hell!

Thanks Nogi Boy,

It sounds like you were in a very similar situation. How long ago was that? And for how long were the 2 of you friends?

I guess if she and I survive this it will make our friendship stronger...then, who knows? When I am honest with myself, I can't really see a way that would put the 2 of us together permanently. But that is mainly because she told me she has no desire to live in the US, and I certainly don't want to live in Mexico. So I guess most of those kind of thoughts are fantasy.

But I like Whistler's idea of enjoying it while you can, living for today, etc.

By all means enjoy it while you can for sure.

My experience ended about 6 months ago and last for almost 2 years.

I saw her everyday for a while (but that got expensive quickly).

Good luck!