Does anyone have any PV info they could share?...bars...sg's...prices etc...? I have heard a little bit about a bar called Juniors, but nothing else. Thanks

Juniors (the strip joint) is in Guadalajar (not a sex destination - NO ZONA, nothing close).

See Redsnake for PV information, but I hear it is a tourist oriented town and not hobbiest paradise.

Puerto Vallarta DOES have a zona, It is out past the bullring a couple of miles along a dirt road. Take a taxi there. Don't try to walk. They have about 4 clubs. Nothing like TJ, but a few diamonds in the rough can usually be found for similiar prices as TJ. Don't bother going before 11:00 pm.

Antonio el Tigre says: check out Junior's Bar in Puerto Vallarta - it's just south of town on the main road to Mismaloya - any cabbie will take you there for 5 bucks - good strip club, party atmosphere, chicas are very fine if you like the latina look, and full service is available in the back (at least as of last year). F/S is quite pricey compared to TJ, even for a quickie, but that's Vallarta. There are other gringo-oriented strip clubs in town but none are as fun as Juniors, in my opinion. Most of the locals agree. You can see my trip report in the Redsnake archive - my next trip to PV is in March!

I went to Juniors one night, nice strip club but the prices are very high, pressure from the waiters and the typical B.S. of Rev. bars. If you want to get something that comes close to the zona type experience go to the Hawaii. This is in an area that looks very scary but it was perfectly safe. Chicas are $60.00 up front this will cover everything no B.S. I believe some chicas might have different prices, she will pay the club and take you to her room, the rooms are right there. Nice young chicas, the one I was with had a great attitude, typical 1/2 hour session. There are a couple other clubs right there,The Cadillac , Las Alanzas, and Mi Tren. Las Alanzas and Mi Tren are open air courtyard type places. The floor shows at the Hawaii starts at 11:00 pm 2:00 am and 4:00 am, don't go eariler or you will be disapointed. The taxi drivers know where these clubs are and they are the place to be in Puerto Vallarta. Drink prices are typical of the zona.

Bjones, were you able to check-out Qeros???
Sounds like you had a good time in PV, thanks for the information!
SB

No, I didn't go there, but did talk to someone who did. I think it's more on the line of Junior's, thats to say more focused towards tourists and higher prices but I could be wrong. It's more in town and not on the outskirts like the Hawaii and the others. If you want to go, the taxi drivers know where it is and will take you where ever and wait while you go in to take a look. They know all the places. Believe me nothing much gets rolling until 11:00 pm or so. By the way, when they strip in Puerto Vallarta they strip all the way! Have Fun

Mongers, allow me to take the liberty to re-post a Vallarta trip report from summer of '99, relating my experiences in town and in the "zona" - this might clear up some of the confusion regarding PV-

Puerto Vallarta Trip Report.

I'm a 40 year old gringo who happens to be fluent in Espanol. I had just one 'free' evening (July 27, a Tuesday) to sample the whore-mongering delights in Vallarta - so as a public service here goes:

In my experience, the hooker bars in Puerto Vallarta come in 3 categories: (I'll save the best for last)

1) High End Strip Clubs - Oriented toward Gringos and Rich Mexican Tourists - These clubs include Juniors, Q'Eros (pronounced Cueros), and Chicas. Juniors is my favorite. Located just up the hill on the road south to Mismaloya - less than
a $5 cab ride from downtown.Visited Juniors saw a first class strip-show 8 or 10 lovely dark-skinned chicas who strip to the buff on the third song. There are very explicit fully-nude lap dances available for about $10 US with lots of fondling -
and of course the infamous "quickies" - 10 minutes in the back room full service with condom priced about $30 to the house and $40 tip for the chica. A little pricey but that's Vallarta.I partook with a hot-looking mid-twenties single mother of one
with a nice plump ass and big natural chi-chi's - service was of course quite satisfactory and was able to perfectly time the climax with the dreaded knock on the door. Hung out for a while, a couple of cold beers and then hit the road. (P.S. it will
cost about $150 - $200 USD to take one of these chicas back to your hotel for about a 2 hour session - a little rich for my blood).

2) Hooker Bars in the "Olas Atlas / Playa Los Muertos" side of town - right in town and more oriented toward the locals - Dropped in to a couple right next door to each (on the same street as the big Farmacia Guadalajara and the taco
stands) - called "Mamacitas" and "Bar Bohemio" - Bar Bohemio had a couple of homely looking fat girls sitting around waiting for the locals to buy them a $2 beer - not many takers - although this joint might be worth a look later in the evening to see if any better talent might be around.

Mamacitas had about 1/2 dozen average looking Chicas and one pretty -fine looking taller dark skinned beauty and a half-assed strip show. There were only about 3 or 4 locals hanging out at around midnight. I bought myself a beer ($1.50 US)
and bought a drink for the dark-skinned one ($5 US - ugh) but as a "fichera" I knew it would help her to get the drink ticket and therefore got her to explain the action at that particular site. It turns out there is a $20 private lap dance available but she insisted there was no sex permitted. Sex would be $150 to go to my hotel for a couple of hours - she said if we waited until
about 3am she would spend the rest of the night with me. Although tempted, I had another plan in mind. I told her I'd be back later - adios. (By the way, another bar in the vicinity along the same lines is "Lobos").

3) Hooker Bars in the Zona Roja

Well, fellow whore-mongers, I arranged for a $10 cab ride to the famous zone of tolerance and I'm quite sure these places are nowhere near TJ standards, they are usefull in their own way. (Located along a dirt road off the main highway behind the bull-ring -- DO NOT attempt to walk in the area please take a taxi) Physically, except for the Cadillac Bar, these places could only be described as depressing, smelly dives - but they serve a useful public service.

Arrived probalby a little after midnight on a Tuesday and things were pretty dead at the Cadillac Bar - in fact it was so dead it was just me, the bartender, the bouncer, and one chica. So what are the odds. I chose to buy her a $5 drink - (such a generous gringo) just to see if she would engage in any half- assed conversation. Luckily, she was pretty cute, early twenties with perky little chi-chis poking out the top of her skin-tight dress. After a while she mentioned it would be $40 plus $10 for the room (this is the standard price, I'm sure) and in hopes of a better session choose to accept the offer rather than bargain. Back in room (bare matress, fan, shower with running water, towel (!) - she disrobed and proceeded to a BBBJ - after just a few minutes she
wanted me on my back with condom and I said 'what's the hurry?" I did not want the typical bad attitude hurry-up hooker session. I asked her to lay down on her back and tried to get her to relax by caressing her and enjoying her tight young body.
Began sucking her nipple and this seemed to loosen her up a bit - after a few minutes found my mouth very close to her pubis and as she did not resist soon found my tounge on her little clitty and after a while (she tasted real clean) she either put on the requisite act or actually began to enjoy it a little as she moaned very softly "si, si" as my fingers slit right into her tasty little
cunt.

Aware of the time, I realized it was time to allow her get on top and after a while chose missionary position for the final act.
I was very pleased by her overall session and was able to take a cold shower afterwards - there was never any knock on the door because it was so dead. Gave her a kiss good-by and ordered another beer at the bar just to "chill" - I knew the night
was still young.

I then casually strolled across the street from Cadillac Bar to "Las Alanasas" - outside was quite a scene - probably about 6 or 8 chicas hanging around outside the club ranging from a couple of truly hopeless dogs to a couple of above average cuties.
I popped inside and saw 4 or 5 other chicas hanging out inside and about 3 or 4 locals. Ordered a 10 peso bottled water and tipped the waitress 10 pesos. This must of made her night. None of the chicas ever approached me, which I thought was quite odd, so I eventually walked to the bathroom and past a table with a couple of chicas hanging out and one particular blonde
gave me a little wave. I gave her the hand signal saying I'd be back in a minute, and then asked her to join me at my table.

Drinks for the chicas only $20 pesos ($2.20 US) - the blond chica was quite friendly and downed a straight shot of tequila (not water, I smelled it!) and wanted to talk business. She was older (probably mid-late 30's) but she said she had never been married and had no kids. Her body was in pretty good shape so I tended to believe her.

We soon agreed on $40 total including room - she performed as advertised in a very friendly easygoing session including BBBJ, massaging / licking balls, etc. Sex with condom of course, variety of standard positions, etc. Just for variety, she was quite pleased to allow me to fulfill my porn star fantasies and come between her tits, sin condon. Que rico.

After much small talk and another drinky-winky back at the bar (such a gentleman) - I decided to set out for the Hawaii club. However, not before the chica gave me her cell phone number (!) and told me she would be freelancing the next day at the beach over by the Holiday Inn, and that I should look her up then. I thanked her and told her I'd let her know.

The Hawaii Club was completely dead this being about 2:30 a.m. on a Tuesday. Saw 2 or 3 chicas hanging out, and strolled over casually to chat them up a bit. One chica had some nice cleavage and black frizy hair so I asked her if they were real.
She said it would cost me big bucks to find out! - Then she grabbed my half-limp prick through my pants. Well I always liked an agressive chica, and besides she looked a lot like a Latin girl I know back home and have always fantasized about fucking, so I said "what the hell" and we agreed to the standard $40 plus $10 room after some haggling she held firm to the price and of course I could have said no but by this time the little head got the best of me.

In the room the chi-chi's were indeed real - "Sonia" was also a single mom aged 23 (she said) from Nayarit and was the nastiest chica I met in Vallarta. After a BBBJ, she was laying on her back with her inviting young pussy wide open, I was on
top of her rubbing her with my hands and she began french kissing my mouth with full tongue and I knew I could penetrate her at that moment without condom - and of course even though these chicas get their health-cards I prevailed upon her to get the rubber and she did, after a while she said she wanted "de perrito" so of course I went along. She had a nice round and tight ass and before long the deed was done. Sonia at Hawaii is one hot chica!.

Now past 3a.m., and having had 4 chicas in one night of debauchery and having spent around $300 USD including drinks and transportation, I reluctantly decided to call it a night and grabbed a taxi back to my hotel. I had a 10'clock bus ticket to Guadalajara the next morning, in order to catch the Brazil-USA soccer game at Jalisco Stadium. This or course is the subject
of another trip report.

So who ever said that Vallarta suffers from a lack of sexual services?
Seek and ye shall find. - Antonio El Tigre del Norte.

Primo trip report Antoniotiger. Can't belive no one has commented before this.

Thanks for the feedback bro ... Vallarta is certainly not a prime mongering destination, but it is a great town for a vacation and such a contrast to the border towns I've visited. It's 100% safe to walk around at any hour day or night, (in the main tourist areas, of course) no need to fear muggers or corrupt cops trying to jack you up for bribes.

I'll be in PV next week. If I can get away from the old lady, I want to check out the scene. Any recent reports from PV that will bring me up to date? From their I'll be in Tepic about a week. I have a nephew who owned a whorehouse there, I got to check it out.

I can suggest Juniors for an enjoyable in town experience. Many beautiful chicas dancing on stage, and most are available for full service sessions upon request either in house or for take out. I was there last year in September and the rates were $100 for 30 minutes in house or $200 for take out to your hotel or home. I don't usually partake of lap dances or private dances and I haven't experienced their in house facilities but I understand they have rooms of some sort. I usually spot the young lady I want then invite her to my table for drinks and if my intuition is correct which it usually is we are off to my hotel. Minus the travel time in the taxi depending on where you're going that gives you about one and a half hours of play time for the $200.

Lobos is another place right in town, much smaller and the general quality of ladies would be less than at Juniors but I met a girl there last May who was so much fun, pretty and very good company. I brought her to my hotel one night and on another night we just screwed behind a curtained booth in the club when the music was playing for the other girls dance. She was great fun, a good conversationalist and had her hand on my cock the whole night. Pricing here was the same as above.

Q'Eros and Chicas are on the main road that goes back to the airport and from what I understand they operate the same way and both are said to have good numbers of lovely ladies.

I have never been to the zona roja described in a previous post above. In fact I didn't even know it existed, it was never mentioned to me in my numerous requests for chicas on previous trips. It sounds like a place for locals and obviously could be good for a gringo who is fluent in Spanish.

Good luck and I would like to hear how it goes for you, I may be back down in February. Could be challenging getting away from the old lady.

Last year i spent some time in PV with a favorita.I found a decent beachside small resort hotel called Hotel Playa Conchas Chinas.It was a pretty good place to hole up with a chica.
I not sure if there would be any problems with bringing multiple chicas there but with interior restaraunts and bars overlooking the beach one should be able to sneak one in.The beach is ok but has a lot of big rocks.Nice cover though for some shallow water fun with your chica.

The room i stayed in was a Jr suite con jacuzzi that goes for 850 pesos.It included a nice kitchenette and utensils/pans so you can check out your chica's cooking skills if you want.The room was pretty nice and roomy decorated with tile and talavera styled.air conditioning worked well and there was a glass doors opened to a nice,private balcony that overlooked the beach.The Jacuzzi was located on the balcony and made for some nice relaxing.Not a bad place for 850 pesos.

This place is located on the southern side of Puerta Vallarta.You will need a $5 cabride to get to the Malecon or the main areas of town.Also the fancy restaraunt at the top area of this hotel seemed rather pricey.
http://www.viva-vallarta.com/hospedaje/hoteles/c-chinas/index.htm
Taxibob

Judging from the painting, it's El Set with a name change and face lift, right?

El Set?

El Set (as in movie set) is a restaurant where stars like Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris (the real one, not the "L" guy on the Redsnake board) have supposedly dined. The food is very good, but the prices are slightly on the high side.

Next door, to the left of El Set, is a condo place called Lindo Mar Resort. They have a neat little restaurant on the beach which serves great lunches for very reasonable prices. Just park in front of the Lindo Mar, walk through the lobby, take the elevator to the first floor (the front entrance and lobby are actually on the 6th floor) and walk towards the beach.

Back to the main topic, has anyone every gone to the Junior's Bar in the town of Bucerias? This place is about 20 km. or so north of Puerto Vallarta on the east side of main highway (Highway 200). The non-descript building looks like it is wrapped in dull aluminium foil or something. I passed the place once in the early afternoon, but it was closed and looked completely dead. Maybe it is only open in the night, or maybe it is permanetly closed.

Have fun in Vallarta, just keep alert so that you are not surprize attacked by the deadly timeshare salespeople

Yes i battled the deadly timeshare people.It took me and mi novia nearly an hour battle ourselves away from them for the measely prize of highly discounted tickets to the Maria Gallante booze and grub cruise from which i caught amoebic dysentary either from the salad or the milk used for the white russians.Unless a person just enjoys pissing off the salesmen as a pastime then i suggest one just skips these timeshare devils.

The picture looked like the hotel to me.They had a way overpriced restaraunt upstairs and a more reasonably priced one downstairs nearer the beach.Decent rooms with kitchenette and a jaccuzzi on the private balcony overlooking the too rocky beach though.

An update on the Zona in PV. I've been living here in PV for a few months now, and been out to the zone about 10 times! Here's the current scoop on the Zona clubs:

Hawaii is the main club, best looking ladies, the usual 10 peso beers , that's 90 cents to you gringos, and a men's room that won't make you gag. The ladies are NOT really enthusiastic at all. A standard half and half will cost anywhere from 400 - 500 pesos, a real quickie, and not very satisfying!
Cadillac club just re-opened a few weeks back, trying to be more up-scale, with real tile floors, a pool table, tablecloths etc. 15 pesos for a beer. There was only 1 or 2 chicas there two weeks back. They are still trying to get going.
Las Alansas is not a bad place, a good number of chicas, a bit better attitude than Hawaii, kinda spotty. I've had real good, and only fair. I was going to say really bad, but has anyone ever had a bad piece? Take a DEEP breath before entering the mens room - it's pretty foul!

Mi Tren. Open air, 10 peso beer, lot's of chicas that seem willing and eager. I've done well there, chicas are about 400 pesos ($44.44), but you can negotiate for less. I've had one at 300 pesos. Better bring scuba gear for the men's room though! It's worse than nasty! Girls to look for:
Sonia (may be the same one mentioned above)Big Chi-chis. good service. Monica, nice bod, good service at 300 pesos. Claudia - a petite chica, about 26 years old, missing most of her front teeth (gum job!!!) Not bad at all!!!

Thanks for the valuable info Madmax. From the smell of things, I will need to upgrade my PADI scuba certifications to include toxic restroom diving (from the divemaster on the Tidy Bowl boat) before my next visit

By the way, exactly where is the zona in PV? In a message above, Traveler says, "it is out past the bullring a couple of miles along a dirt road". I assume that the bullring is the one across from the marine terminal where the cruise ships dock, but I don't remember seeing a dirt road (I remember the road next the bullring as being paved).

Thanks in advance.

Yes,that's the right road. the road is paved now, in fact it was re-done a few weeks back. Outside of the huge speed bumps, it's a nice road now. It's about 1 mile or two up the road, on the right. Any taxi driver should know where it is. Don't bother going before 11 or 12 at night. It really gets going well after midnight, and goes until 6 am.

Ok folks, I recently made it back from PV and using the help from MadMax, here are the directions to Puerto Vallarta's Zona Roja:

First drive on the main highway to the Bullring. The Bullring is near the cruise ship terminal (and also one intersection north from Sam's Club). When you make the turn onto the paved road next to the Bullring, mark your oddometer and drive for exactly 1.3 km (or 0.8 miles for the metric-impared). Turn right (on the dirt road) into the small compound which is the Zona Roja. Alternatively, you can count the speed bumps along the Bullring road: there are three sets of speed bumps close together and a fourth one a little more distant. The Zona Roja is an immediate right turn after the fourth speed bump.

There are four clubs in the zona: Cadillac Bar, Las Alansas, Mi Tren and Stravaganza. (Stravaganza used to be called the Hawaii Club.) None of the clubs had a cover charge and it is easy to drift from club to club.

The club descriptions provided by AntonioTiger, MadMax, Traveler and BJones in the posts above are "right-on", so they do not need repeating here. The only notable difference, however, is that Stravaganza (ex. Hawaii) was the most active club on the weekday night I went, with about 8 to 10 girls, who seemed a little younger than those in the other clubs.

I am no security expert, but the zona seemed fairly safe and "gringo friendly" - as long as you control yourself and don't make a scene. Of course, you will probably need at least a basic command of the Spanish language for maximum fun. Also, as posted above, don't walk to the zona: drive or use a taxi.

By the way, while you are writing all of this down in your "Mongering Notebook", pay particular attention to MadMax's warning about the restroom in Mi Tren. DO NOT, under any circumstances, go into the restroom in Mi Tren. The smell alone would kill mere mortals in a matter of seconds!

Good Luck and Happy Mongering!

P.S., The Junior's Bar in the town of Bucerias (see my post above) appears to be open for business after 11 PM. I did not go in, so I really can't comment any further. This bar may be a viable alternative for those folks staying in Nuevo Vallarta who don't want to travel all the way to Puerto Vallarta every night.

I believe that the smell in the restoom in Mi Tren can be used to smoke out the Al Quaida/Taliban in any cave in Afganistan!
Also, my chica friend from Mi Tren told me that there is a rumor that the officials are trying to move the zona further north, near the airport. I'll keep you informed of further details. Also, any mongers needing assistance in PV can e-mail me at madmax888@pvnet.com.mx.

I will be in PV in a few weeks. I have been going at least once a year for over 10 years now. I used to go with a girlfriend but recently have been traveling solo. I have visited the Zona in the past but not in several years. Last year I visited the brothel that is located in town. It used to be called Miss Kitty's but I believe it is now Mamacitas. It was out of my budget as one to go was in the $250.00 range for approximately two hours. There were some extremely attractive and young chicas at this establishment. I visited here two years ago with a friend and we took two with us back to the condo for a three hour session. The taxi driver was instucted by the club owner to come back for the chica's in three hours. Either the club owner gave diffent instuctions or the cab driver could not tell time because the three hour becam about an hour before he was blasting his horn out front at about 2 am waking every resident of the complex. We were able to sneek these two in very discreetly but there exit became quite a spectacle as the cab driver would not stop honking until every last resident was out standing on their balconies. It was slightly uncomfortable the next morning out at the pool making small talk with all of these people. They were not exactly sure which room these two came out of but it was not too hard to figure out as virtually all of the other residents were couples. I told them that I did not hear anything as I am a heavy sleeper ??? Oh yeah, these two were both very good looking and quite young, would be surprised if either was 18. They seemed to be very new at thier line of work and would do anything you told them. Mine kept telling me that her mouth was tired. I do not speak Spanish, they no english but it always seems to work out OK. I will visit the Zona on this trip as I will not have the budget for the "in town" joint. I always feel more comfortable if the chica will leave and travel back to my hotel. It usually costs a little more but works out better for me. The lack of Spanish is sometimes a problem here as the translator is usually the proprieter who usually never has problems with the girls leaving but at a price. I will report back when I return.

As for opinions on Puerto Vallarta, FUCK THIS PLACE. I drove down from SFO to PV with my brother in-law. I hit most of the clubs on The Malecon, Zoo, no name cafe, Collage(cool foam party). Most of the chicks were Canadian or Americans. I was staying in my brother in-laws apartment, so bringing a chica back to his place was not a good idea as my wife might of found out.
I was really suprise how big the gay community is in this place. Every where i went, there was guys looking at you weird. Dope is everywhere, there is more drug dealers in the streets than in the worst part of SF. The timeshare people are a pain in the ass. To me PV was over rated. But of course that is only my opinion.

I went to pv in feb2001. went to gogo bars but very high pricedand girls didnt seem that friendly. went to zona roja(by way of taxi..its the only way to get there) and went ot the cadillac bar. you can negotiate with the girls. my girl wanted 50 plus 10 for the room and i negotiated doen to 45 us including room. the pussy is the same if you pay 50 for it or 35. went ot the short term room on premises. not great,but ive fucked in worse places. the sex was good. you have 45 min or 1 nut whichever comes first. I lasted 35 min so I was very satisfied. most girls rated 6-7

I have been here in PV for 3 months now, and I don't believe that Mamacitas is open any more! I see that they have painted the door, but on a Friday night at 11:00PM, the door was still locked. I don't know what the deal is there! Anyhow, try Cadillac bar in the zona, its much more upscale than the other 3 in the zona! They actually have a tile floor!

Hey Cityog! Stay the fuck out of my town! We sure don't need your stupid Californicated bullshit here. If you didn't have a good time in PV, it's your own fault! Stay up there in Fagville SFO, and catch aids! IT's good for assholes like you!

Silly Canuck.

Flamer, shame on you. Next time you go to Senor Frog's, look outside buddy, yeah that's Fagville.
But I'll let you go so you could tan your hairy ass with the rest of your friends by the BLUE UMBRELLAS!!! Yeah you know where they are. Hugs and kisses from SF.

Shitty wog, I don't go to tourista clip-joints! I know where the real action is. Too bad you had a lousy time in PV. You are among the minority! I do agree with you about the time-share assholes! They really are a pain. Next time you want to leave the states, DON'T. Stay home. You're an UGLY AMERICAN, if you know what that means!

At least he isn't an UGLY CANADIAN(or should I say CANADIEN).

Something important I forgot to put in my post above:

When I went to Mi Tren, there were a lot of girls in the 3 - 5 rating range, but one of the two strippers was well above the rest at about a 7 to 8. This stripper wore a sexy dress, had a pretty face, smallish breasts and long, straight dark hair. She was somewhat agressive and lightly grabbed me between the legs as I entered through the front door.

Later, after getting on friendly terms with one of the waiters (who I had tipped well), I found out the good news and bad news:

Good News - all of the women there, except one, were really women.

Bad News - the great looking stripper was really a guy (i.e., post-op TV).

I don't know if "she" was taking guys to the room or just doing the fichera thing as I thankfully never got a chance to talk to her. The local guys seemed to be lining up one-after-another to dance with her, however, and given the lighting conditions, you really couldn't tell anything was unusual - even when she was completely naked during her dance routine.

The motto here:
Become friends with thy waiter before partaking in the ceremonies at Mi Tren.

Madmax, Easy! Yes, Cityog is an asshole! If you can't have a good time in PV you definitely just need to stay home. I have never been approached with drugs although due to my many trips I do know where to get them. The only gay that has ever approached me was wearing a dress and wanted $20.00 for a blowjob, yes I declined. Maybe I don't get approached because I don't wear spandex or a speedo on the beach. I do not go to PV for the Zona anyway just might drop by once or twice in a week for something different. Even if I go and there is no action it will not ruin my trip as there is way too much else to do in PV for that to even be a factor. Mamacita's seems to have a different name every couple of years. I am by there frequently as one of my favorite taco stands is just down the street in front of the Gigante. I will check out Cadillac bar and will be aware of the Mi Tren bano warnings !!!

Sorry about the tirade! I get a little pissed when people disparage a town that is so much fun, and the people there are so nice! Mamacita's is still next to the Guadalajara Pharamacia, but the door is chained, and I hadn't seen any one in there on any night. I will check it out again, and ask some questions about it from the neighbors. I met an absolute knock-out there a few years back, a 10 for sure, named Ceci, that I wish I could find again!

I think that Mamacita's opens really late. Maybe after midnight????

I certainly understand that. Yes, you are correct on the Pharmacia, I misstated as being next door to a Gigante. They (Mamacita's) had the best looking girls in town but out of my budget. Maybe I got the turista teatment but the only person to go through in there was the club owner. The first time I went years ago when it was Miss Kitty's the girls would leave for about $35.00. Last time it was more like $200.00. If they are still open I will at least go in to check it out. I will be in PV on 02/20, just another few days !!!

ASSHOLE! OUCH!! It's ok, we all have opinions. No hard feelings Kevin or Mad, I got a couple of guys at work that are PV regulars, and we disagree when it comes to PV. Kevin in spanish you are what we call a CHULO but without the h. It's only an opinion bro, no hard feelings.

Attention, Puerto Vallarta "Zona Roja" afficinados:

I've got a nice homework assignment for you!

I ran across a thread on another board which mentioned a place called "Osiris Centro Nocturnal", in the town of San Vicente, Nayarit, that was supposed to be similar to the places in PV's "Zona Roja" (i.e., dumpy dives with great prices). For lack of anything better to do, I set out driving in the daytime to locate the place. It is actually only a few minutes drive north from Puerto Vallarta and not difficult to get to. I assume that the place is only open at night. Here are the directions:

1. Follow the main highway (Mexico 200) north, past the PV airport, until you reach the Jalisco / Nayarit state line. Remember to set your clock back one hour because Nayarit is on Mountain Time rather than Central Time, like in Jalisco.

2. After reaching the military check point note the reading on your oddometer. You will travel 2.4 miles ( or 3.8 km.) to the first traffic light encountered. (Note: You may have to exit onto the lateral road which is actually 0.3 miles - or 0.5 km. - before the traffic light since I don't know if it is legal to make a turn at the light from the main highway). You are now in the town of Mezcales.

3. At the this traffic light make a right turn onto a small, paved highway leading to the town of San Vicente.

4. You will travel 2.9 miles ( or 4.6 km.) on this highway and the club compound will be immediately on your left hand side. Note: the club is on the western outskirts of San Vincent, so if you reach the town square itself, turn around because you went too far.

I am running out of actual mongering time on this short visit and may not have time to check this place out and file an (im)proper trip report If you go, or have been before, please share your experiences.

Happy Mongering!
Don Tonto

Gee,
I wish that this board had an edit feature for posted messages. In my post directly above, the distance in "Step 2." is really 2.7 miles (or 4.3 km.) instead of 2.4 miles (or 3.8 km.) It really dosen't make any difference though since it is the only traffic light in the area.

I just found out about two other clubs in PV. They are both north of the city, in fact, north of the airport. They are attached to a hotel Alamo, and the names are Petunias and Rolex, like the watch. They are late-night places, with the action starting close to midnight. I will submit a field report when I get the urge! For a different place, check my report on Manzanillo. The prices there are cheaper all the way around! Taxis, hotels, food, and of course, chicas!

PV Report – 1999/2000/2001/2002

I haven’t been to the PV Zona, there has always been plenty to do elsewhere. I really should go.. just haven’t made it..

First point of attack should be along the Malecon, this is the main boardwalk along downtown. There are a lot of bars here with a lot of women. Look for a table with two or three women sitting at it and buy the table a round. Join them when the drink arrives and explain that women as beautiful as they are should never buy their own drinks.

Yes, this works. More than once I have ended up with two girls. No I am not a great looking stud, just a Joe, but cock hungry drunk girls are cock hungry drunk girls. Best line – “You girls are just a tequila shot away from what may be your first lesbian experience if you aren’t careful.”

But the Malecon runs dry some nights. I give it an hour, two or three clubs (last time The Zoo was a gold mine).

Again, lots of bars have drunk tourist women that just want to get laid. Find the two or three women that are alone and move in with them.

Then there is the southern part of town around Playa Los Muertos. Lots of TV’s here, but lots of great bars, and if you strike out here, there is always Juniors right up the hill. This area also has a lot of streetwalkers, some TV, some not, choose wisely. At 2:00 am, you can pick up something tasty for $400.00 np that will stay with you till noon the next day.

Once I got a young hardbody out of some no-name cantina down by Alliende that went with me to Yelapa the next day. After a great night and wakeup, we had breakfast, I told her I was going to Yelapa, she said it was a beautiful place and she loved it. I asked her if she wanted to go and she did. I spent the day with a nice hottie, got a BJ on the way to the falls and banged her again when I got back. She left about 5:00 as she had to go home. Cost me 400 np, and the price of breakfast, lunch and a ticket out of Boca.

Sometimes when I am down there I just want the “Junior’s” treatment. Juniors is the best strip club in PV, right above Playa Muertos, same people own “Candies”. They don’t charge a cover after 12:00 and they hand out tequila shots at the door. If you are a regular (spend $$ one night and go back within two days), they will waive the cover even if you are early.

What you need to know about Juniors –

They will screw you on the change. If you give them a 200NP note for a 150NP drink ( for a lady of course) demand the 50 change. I refuse to pay for anything else till I get my change….Once you set them straight a few times, they stop this.

They will get you fucked up drunk, I stick to beer.

The people that run these clubs are smart. They know how a man works. Fresh meat in the door is money. They have drinks for the lady at 10-15$ us, and dances at $20 us. The Dances are full contact. Suck their tits, they rub your cock, everything you could want out of a dance. This is to get you as hot as possible for a fuck.

They offer a ‘menu’ of services. There is the back room quickie (10-15 min) and the ½ hour to hour or more upstairs. A back room quickie might be offered at first for $60-80 us. Say no. Then they will come back with a special deal, and it will drop down to $20.00 us. The upstairs treatment they will ask $200 us or more for an hour. They have four rooms up there. Not all are that private. They have doors, but you can hear people coming and going and talking.

But for the full “Junior’s” treatment, a lesson from Elito himself:

- Sit next to the stage. The girls will come down off the stage and mess with you. You get to be part of the show for everybody else, but you get to suck a lot of tit and finger a lot of women. I tip 20np per dancer after she has given me a good dance from the stage. Girls will come and sit with you by the stage. You can grope them too. If you are having fun with the girls, you can do anything. A guy messing with three women, two sitting with him stage side and the dancer coming down and sitting on his face just sells more poon to those watching.

- I don’t buy couch dances. I’ll buy a girl a drink and have her sit in my lap, while she has her drink. Why get up and got to the couch dance area when you can suck tit at your table for the price of a drink. Again, if you are having fun and other customers know it, you are just parting of their marketing dept.

- Talk dirty. If you think you will be with a girl, ask her point blank: Do you suck dick? Do you like it in the ass? If you want a BBBJ, talk about this before you decide to take her back.
 Wait for the special. If things are going slow the floor man will come around and try to get more money out of you. After a bit, you will get a $200np, anything you want for 10 min in the back room deal. Meanwhile you have spent 150p on the girl in your lap and she has been telling you how she will let you bang her starfish and give you a BBBJ. Tell the floor man OK, take her back and do her.

- After you have busted your nut, things change. A woman that may have been quoted at $300 for the night at your hotel is now $120 for the night. The ½ hour upstairs in now $60.00. This is what I consider the ‘golden time’. Girls work you extra hard because they know you are proven commodity and they know you are no so desperate.

- Sometimes it is fun to go there and go through three women, $15 drink and a $20 quickie. Your drinks are $5, so it is three hours at $40.00 per hour and three women.

- The Floor Man – OK, this guy is the ring master. He is important. Be nice to him. My first night into PV, I say hi, shake his hand and tip him a 100np when he says he will “take care” of me. He tells the girls what to do. Anyone you like, he sends her over. Total pimp. I always say that I just got into town and I am checking out the local clubs. He does his best to make sure I don’t even look anywhere else. The first few years this worked great, this year he recognized me and said I know you…. of course that just made things easier for me. I didn’t have to clear up getting my change and the $20 quickie action was automatic. If I am going back within a day or so, I always tip him 200np on my way out the door. This makes sure I don’t pay cover when I go back and I get my first drink on the house (really).

- Condoms – Bring your own. They give them to you, but one time I was there and went up stairs for a half hour with a girl and they played the lot condom game on me and then came back with one. I take a few of my own. I control the quality and once I got laid at my table because I had one.

There are other clubs, Queros (they even have a WWW page), Chicas, and Candies and some more. I haven’t been to another place in a few years. They were all more of a Vegas meets Mexico type thing. Also more expensive. These places are closer to the big tourist hotels and cater to the American dollar. Which reminds me, when they ask where I am from… it is Canada. They believe that Americans as a general rule have more money. I was at Queros with some friends. I said I was from Canada, they said California. My prices were 1/3 of theirs.

enjoy

-Elito “Eltardo”

Elito,

Excellent Report... reminds me of my monger days in PV... Me imagino que con las chicas las hablas en su idioma.. eso te ha de ayuday un chingo...
And I'm glad Juniors is still going strong...
-Antonio el Tigre del Norte

You being too nice about Cueros. Ladies drinks are 150MN. Thats $16 USD. Its ridiculously expensive.

I met a gf dancer at Juniors. She moved into my hotel for a week. Other than our many expenses, (room service etc), I only paid her $100USD for the entire week. She is a sweat heart, and we still get together occasionally. I enjoyed Junior's, many a nite. But I didn't know you could get laid there that cheap. And I speak spanish. But since i had a g/f, I never really tried.

I found Acapulco to be much cheaper than Vallarta. And the Chica's there is the best titty joint I've ever been to. And, unlike Vallarta, its not much more expensive than Matamoros.

Could use some help in organizing a trip into the interior of Mexico, involving taking my own vehicle.
1)tips on getting insurance;
2)tips on getting the forms (temporary-importation-of-vehicle form; promise-to-return-vehicle form; tourist card) and where and when;
3)tips on crossing at Del Rio, TX (time of day; possibility of crossing and getting documents after 6pm).
How much of the document work can I do from here in Chicago through the Mexican consulate (their phone is always busy)?
Thanks, dudes

Where are you going into the interior of Mexico? You better travel into Mexico is through Laredo. I know they have a big area where you have to go to get premission for you and your vehicle. It is off Lara somthing. Its the first right if you cross through the puento #1. Its busy in the rush hour on weekends and weekdays. Insurance you can check in both Laredos and also they sell vechicle insurance at the big area in NL. You have to have the vechicle title. Also, you might need to get premission from the loan company of your vehicle. You can get a lot of info from the Mexican Counsel in Chicago but you have to go to it. Its busy around 6 pm in trying to cross over. Your best bet is to go and pay any duties at the Mexican Counsult in Chicago if you are taking anything across. They will charge you several times at the border and inside where they have a immigration check point. Usually everyboy wants a mordida when you cross into mexico interior. Soy take an instant camera o other camera to take a picture of the immigration agent but ask him first. So you can tell him you paid your taxes in Chicago and they informed you that you don't have pay anymore and you are to report him to them or a superior. But do not over do it because you might end up losing your vechicle and possesions. No guns or any weapons are allowed into mexico, even bullets or you will end up in prison. Unless you have prior premission if you are going hunting. The road from Nuevo Laredo is good but is a long drive about 3 hours. Enjoy your trip. Or you might want to try through Eagle Pass, Texas to cross over into mexico. I suggest get started early and cross over and get all the paper work completed before you start your trip.

Hey Palmiro,

A web site with some useful information: http://www.mexonline.com/drivemex.htm

I cross at Nuevo Laredo and its not too difficult, except maybe confusing the first time. In addition to El Mike's words, I would offer the following advice:

1) It is "extremely" difficult to complete the vehicle permission process if you don't have a US credit card (note that a debit card won't work).

2) Get Mexican auto insurance as your US insurance is probably useless outside of the US or Canada (But you already knew this).

3) You will pass through a secondary customs checkpoint just south of Nuevo Laredo on the road to Monterrey. In addition, you will have to pass through military checkpoints at least one time for each state you go through. The military personel may wave you through or stop you. They are primarily looking for drugs or firearms. If they stop you, keep calm and answer their questions. My experience is that they are generally courteous, but watch them closely if they check inside your car just to make sure that nothing is taken (or nothing is planted in the car). I have never had problems with the military, however there seem to be checkpoints all over the place if you go to Sinaloa (Mexico's drug-producing state) or Chippas (home of Marco and his band of Zapatista rebels. In these places, they sometimes stop every car.

4) Make sure that you ATM card has a four-digit PIN number. The five-digit PIN numbers may not work at all Mexican ATM machines. If your card is five-digit, go to your bank to get it changed before leaving for Mexico.

5) Keep a lot of Pesos with you to pay the tolls and to pay for gas. Neither place will take credit cards. Toll roads are expensive (even by US standards) as well as gasoline.

6) When you get gas, make sure that the attendant starts the pump at $0.00. It is a popular trick among a few attendants to make you re-pay for the last customer's gas as well as your own.

7) If your state only uses one license tag on the rear of the car, get a "decorative" tag for the front if you don't already have one. Mexico uses two tags: front and rear, and you could attract unwanted police attention if the front tag space of your car is blank.

8) Before you return to the US, make sure that you return to the place where you got your vehicle permission. This is very important. Unpleasant things will happen if Mexico thinks that you abandoned or sold your car in Mexico.

When you get there, they will remove your permission sticker and give you a receipt showing that you returned the car. Keep the receipt just in case you have any future problems (just like you keep old income tax forms .... right?)

9) Keep a log of your mongering adventures so that you can share them with your buddies on this site. You will find action in just about every town of reasonable size that you pass through.

Good Luck!

An update of PUERTO VALLARTA. Was there in late Feb. The strip joint at the top of hill called "Junior's" is a huge ripoff. Save your money. Ten bucks to get in and $50 lap dances/hand jobs. Give me a break. Now the Zona Rosa on the outside of town is another matter. Definitely worth a visit. It's north toward the airport down a road the leads to a bull ring. All the taxi drivers know where it is. The taxi ride is $6 each way to/from the old part of town. No problem getting back late, there seem to always be taxis waiting to take guys back. There are three bars there, somewhat similar. Don't get laid in the first one, check them all out and they're right there together. You MUST do some haggling here and the price is nego. thru the mngmnt, but try to deal direct with the girls. My bargaining began at $100 and ended at $60. I must tell you for that I spent an hour with a very attractive, sweet 20 yr old from Zacatecas who was about 5'1" and weighed maybe 100lb, was dressed a la Brittney Spears and gave me a fabulous blow job, fucked my brains out in any position I wanted, and was not adverse to some snuggling with a hand job after the fact just to end things right. Definitely not wham bam thank you mam. Very nice. I was with a buddy who picked another girl who have been the sister of the one I was with and when we compared notes he reported a similar experience.

According to the weather chanel, Puerto Vallarta was just at the bottom of Tropical Depression "Krapalloverya". Concrete bits in the street, broken glass everywhere, yada yada yada.

If you were going, plan different.

Dem Gnomes

Went to Puerto Vallarta in November 2002 maybe two weeks after the hurricane. From web sites it seemed like the place was going on...I was thinking like Adelitas up north. I was truly dissapointed. I visited two spots Queros and Baywatch. Of the two Queros was the equivalent to Magic Mountain while Baywatch was the equivalent to a miniature golf center in size. However the girls where pretty much the same on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give them an average of a 4 in looks (there were about 10 girls on the floor), to the establishmnets credit it was a Sunday night. That wasn't the worst of it, while I was looking for eye candy, I asked the concierge/maitre'd what was available on the menu. I was told pretty much anything. I do speak spanish, so I asked for clarification with the "anything," by no means was I gonna find anything close to a GFE there. Here is the final nail in the coffin...the guy told me that if I wanted a BJ it would be around $160 and if I wanted full service it would be $300; the first thing I asked him was if that was in dollars or pesos...can you fu#$*n beleive that they wanted American dollars. Needless to say I stayed there for few hours to see if any girl close to a seven came down worth $$$, sadly only one girl came down right before I was about to leave and it seemed that every single guy (12 of them) scrambled out of their seats for her...she was definitely a 9. This was between my travels between the two establishment. If I came down again for business and not the pleasure of my hobby I may visit Queros once again, I wouldnt step foot in Baywatch ( too small and only two girls were on the floor). There are other places in PV, however at the time they were all closed due to the hurricane. I'd save my money and go to BA Argentina or to Los Suites de Barranco in Peru...but that is another chapter to tell.

Loopback911,

Sorry to hear that you didn't enjoy your stay. I usually go the Zona Roja area and avoid the high-priced tourist places altogether. There, you can usually secure full-service action for $30 to $60 USD. Selection of girls varies greatly, but you can drift freely amongst the four clubs located there without paying any cover charges. Usually, you will find someone to your liking (just watch out for the one or two TVs who may be hanging around).

Last time I was there, I hooked up with one hot chica who sat and drank beers with me for about an hour. She was drinking much faster than I was, so she kept refilling her empty glass from my beer bottle whenever the waitress was not looking so that I would not have to keep buying the over-priced "chica drinks". After performing the "deed", I made sure that some of the money that she saved me in drink purchases got back to her as a big propina (tip)!

Despite the initial appearance, the Zona clubs (which don't really get started before midnight)are safe and gringo friendly. They are low-key and not that bad, as long as you don't have to use the restrooms. The Mexican locals hang out at these clubs, so gringos will be very much in the minority. This plays in your favor as the locals generally don't want to spend money on the girls. Many are content to just sit with their buddies, drink their beers and enjoy watching the stage action; a condition that makes just about every girl easily available to you without waiting.

Stravaganza (Hawaii) and the Cadillac Club have the lowest hustle factors from the girls. You may need to approach the girl youself, but she will be interested. In Mi Tren or Las Alansas, the hustle factor is much higher.

By the way, almost all of the hurricane damage has been repaired and with the exception of a couple of closed hotels...its business as normal.