I had a hard time sleeping that night due to the mattress being pretty hard. I had back surgery two years ago and my back as always been pretty temperamental. So we both got up at around 10:30 that morning and headed to the first restaurant we saw for breakfast. This started what I like to call the curse of bad food in Medellin.

It turns out that we needed to be a bit more picky on where we ate. The place we chose for breakfast was a mom and pop place that had traditional Colombian food. I ordered this corn pancake thing with meat. I was trying to expand my horizons but wound up expanding my stomachs endurance. I noticed a lot of traditional meals involved corn for some reason.I guess because corn was grown quite a bit in the countryside. I'm not a food snob but the cheese sucked and the meat tasted like rubber. Here are some pictures of our meal....







Mr.Ed had better luck with his meal. But it's not like we would be coming back for seconds.

We hit another Casa de cambio so Mr.Ed could change some more money. Here's a picture of a poster they had that made me chuckle...



We hailed a cab and headed to Blue Room (CH Link) since we heard that the same owners also ran Loutron (CH Link). The cab driver got a little lost and we spent about 15 minutes driving around, so we got to see a lot of the suburbs of Medellin. By the time we found it though, it turns out we were too early since it opened at noon and it was only like 11:00am at that point. So I looked at my notes and noticed that Energy opened pretty early, so off we went. This time the cabbie had a better time finding this place.

Kind of ironic since Blue Room actually had a sign while Energy (CH Link) was a run of the mill building. We rang the bell and waited....and waited....rang again...and waited....and waited finally when we were about to leave thinking we had outdated information the door opened and we were greeted inside by an older woman who kind of reminded me of my aunt Lisa. Except without the lazy eye....or the drooling.

Energy was pretty cozy. It had a large fish tank and decent furniture. We sat down, ordered a coke and the line up walked out. While the line up wasn't as good as Loutron, it definitely had better quality than a few other casas we visited later that week. It was early and a Tuesday so I wasn't expecting much, there were only like 5 girls but they were decent quality (mostly 7's.) So Mr.Ed wound picking a thin cutie whose name I forget since I didn't bang her. I wound up selecting the only girl was I thought was a 8, a girl with big fake boobs and fake ass named Sophia.

I guess I am just weird because I see a lot of posts of guys that hate silicone. Frankly I kind of prefer it. Its kinda hard to find good natural boobs, maybe I'm just picky but I didn't see many (if at all) horror show boob jobs. Anyway Sophia took me upstairs and gave me a mediocre massage. She was a little cold, so I had to warm her up by talking to her, joking and playing shrink a little. Anyway she went to give me a blowjob with a condom when I offered a tip (20k) and she proceeded to give me a bbbj. I decided at this point that I would no longer push for the bbbj, it's just not a big deal for me and I would rather save my money. Even if it's just 20k, besides when they do it, it's always a half hearted effort. So we made out for a bit and she was definitely a step up from Juliana but wasn't quite there. The sex was okay, it wasn't bad but it wasn't mind blowing either. This girl seemed like a long term repeat that would probably get better over time. So I picked up her cell and made plans to repeat. I never followed up on them since I wound up repeating with someone else later on.

She wouldn't let me take pictures while in the Casa although she offered to let me if we repeated at my place. I probably could have pushed it but meh, I just didn't want it bad enough.

Still I thought Sophia was good people and maybe next time I'm back in Medellin I will give her a call, I haven't written her off completely yet.

I waited for Mr.Ed downstairs and just chilled enjoying the ambiance. Payed the drinks and the fee, 103k, not a bad price. Mr.Ed came skipping down the stairs with a shit eating grin on his face. Apparently it went really well for him, which made me feel better considering last nights fiasco with Camilla. At this point we figured we would do some touristy stuff for our cover stories back home and to say we did something other than monger this trip. So we hit the Boterro Musuem...plus Mr.Ed wanted to check out the street walker scene.

What can I say about Centro? Well to be honest what slowly transpired that afternoon was something out of Fear & Loathing. First we were bombarded by the crowds in Centro, just folks pestering us which I hate. Also it was like information overload with so many people I kinda started having high anxiety. We were hungry and made the mistake of being roped into a local place by some dude in the street. That food was disgusting, quite frankly I still feel queasy looking at these pictures of what we ate.





I gave up halfway through my....uh...chicken? Mr.Ed soon followed suit. I picked up a digital camera at a store. The one I picked up back home was on the fritz. I thought I would get it at a bargain but the clerk just ran her game and I wound up paying about the same as in best buy. Funny thing though they gave me free ice cream for buying the camera, that was a first.

We then headed into the museum to check out the infamous Botterro. It was pretty impressive although after a while the images of blood, religious martyrdom and war just got to me. I started to crash and get sad. Here are some pics of what we saw...










At this point we had an hour to kill so we walked behind the museum where I had read that all the street walkers (CH Link) hung out at. I have never been with a street walker mostly because I have never seen the quality reported online from anywhere and also most of the crime/con stories tended to involve street walkers. Mr.Ed on the other hand was a pro at street walkers having spent years traveling to D.R.

So my impressions then. Well it was early, like 4pm so I wasn't expecting any tens to be walking around. But to sum it up, I have seen a small glimpse into the dark side of Medellin. The neighborhood is a dump, if you enjoy tijuana then this is probably a walk in the park for you. Me though, I will be honest I was being a bit of a wuss. I felt like I was Bruce Wayne walking down crime alley. Lots of congestion in the streets, trash and creepy looking buildings.

But the worst were the girls, I saw girls who looked like they were 12 and old whores who could be my grandmother selling themselves. They lurked in the hallways of cheap roach infested love motels. Like phantoms, yeah I am a wimp. I like to think of myself as very liberal but when I see old crack whores leaning on the front of the church (while there's mass inside!) trolling for johns, it just freaks me out.

I know, i know the world is a horrible and unfair place, suck it up Coqui.

From what I read the place gets a good crop at night but, I would not have the balls to walk around there after dark.

So we headed back to the apartment to rest and recharge our batteries. We chatted with Mr.Bond and I spoke to a pot connection I made who would be dropping off 100k worth of pot for me the next day. Once we were rested I decided to make plans for the night. I looked through my notes and saw that infanticide always raved about Nancy's (CH Link). Because of the great customer service he got at that casa. So I called her up.

A 5 year old picked up the phone and I hung up out of shock. Two minutes later I get a phone call from Nancy. She asks if I called, I say yes but that I think I had the wrong number, since I was looking for a Casa. She replies that I called the right number, so I ask how many girls she has. She replies that she has 8 girls and asks what our types are, I say big tits and nice ass plus friendly personality. I tell her we will be there in an hour.

A hour later we arrive at Nancy's, once again I am expecting some shit hole rat infested hell hole from the descriptions on the board. Yet again nothing I have never seen before since I live in the Bronx and grew up in P.R. Well we wait at the gate and ring the bell, we hear like 3 locks open and Igor comes out and unlocks the massive gate to let us in.

Nancy's place reminds me of a Spanish wedding reception, just a lot of plants and fountains with uncomfortable couches. Nancy shows up in a pink sweat suit, then she brings out Angie out and tells us to get to know her "no pressure" she says.

Rule #1 of the Mongering Handbook
If a mamasan tells you no pressure then get ready to be pressured

I apologize to Nancy for hanging up on the kid earlier. Nancy tells me there are no kids, so I must have dialed the wrong number. This immediately set up a red flag since she is blatantly lying to me.

Rule #2 of the Mongering Handbook
Always trust your gut

But I brush this off, Nancy tells me she's waiting for a few more girls. Wait but she told me she had 8 on the phone. Once again blatant lie. She just had Angie. Oh and Angie didn't even have a big rack, she just looked like your basic college girl. She was cute sure but just not my type.

So there we are Mr.Ed, Angie and me in the most awkward 20 minutes I have been in a while. Angie is uncomfortable and looking around the room nervously, touching her hair. Mr.Ed is not talking and I am annoyed at being lied to. Finally I resign myself and just start talking to Angie, cracking jokes basically being a goofball.

This breaks the ice and Angie starts to warm up to me, so we're like old friends and I start to reconsider my decision not to take Angie. Mr.Ed then tells me he wants Angie. Eh whatever, I shrug and tell Angie to talk to Mr.Ed. So nancy then comes in with Paulina, she looked like something from an Japanese cartoon. Big eyes, short black hair and fake boobs. Physically she's my type but I was still trying to get a feel for her.

At this point I had been sitting there for about 40 minute and had to pee. So I excused myself to take a leak. While I am walking to the bathroom I pass two clearly 14 year old girls. Nancy sees my face and quickly says that they are her nieces. Again red flag but like a rookie I brush it off, so fucking stupid.

When I get back from my leak Paulina is gone and some skanky looking anorexic girl is there. I ask Mr.Ed about Paulina and it turns out some Korean douche had seen her and swooped in grabbed her for an in house session while I was in the can. Mr.Ed says to chill that we should wait for her to finish. So we wait...wait...and wait for about a fucking hour!!!! Meanwhile we broke one of the big rules of Mongering.

Rule#3 of the Mongering handbook
Never buy a girl a drink unless you know the venue

Yep you can see where this is going. Angie is downing shots of baileys on our dime. I really should have known better. This was a classic rookie mistake and I can't believe I fell for it. I'm pretty peeved at this point we have Spanish ballads blaring in my ear because the speaker is turned up to high. I should have told Mr.Ed to drop Angie and head out to Face Dos (CH Link) or something. But I didn't want to be a dick to him and I fell for the classic mistake of thinking that you should pull a girl from a bad venue because you have invested so much time there.

Rule#4 of the Mongering Handbook
Your the customer, you call the fucking shots

Anyway Paulina finally comes down. We ask the girls about pricing they tell us that they don't know that we need to talk to Nancy.
Fucking nancy says it's going to be 300k for 3 hours 150k for salida and 150k for the girls. I tell her she must be smoking crack.

She says let's work something out. I tell her why should pay 300k when I can just go to Loutron for better quality and i pay 250k. She says fine 250k, 100k for her and 150k for the girls for 3 hours. I'm still on the fence and Mr.Ed quickly agrees. Then she fucks us by telling us the drinks are 60 bucks.

At this point we just want to get out of this place, so we pay and get in a cab to go home. We hit a ATM, grab some cash and hit the apartment. I then notice that Paulina is acting weird. She's touching everything like a baby, she's also rather distant and not very talkative. Mr.Ed is having a ball with Angie though, so I figured I got the rotten pull this time. So we head to the bedroom, where Paulina quickly says no pictures.

~sigh~

Rule#5 of the Mongering Handbook
Always dictate the terms to the girl before you leave the venue

I am annoyed and don't feel a picture is worth this headache. She takes off her clothes and she had a pretty kicking body even with fake boobs, not the best boob job I have seen but not the worst. We get into the jacuzzi and she's loving it. We start talking and making out, we move to the bed to make out some more.

Suddenly her weird behavior is making sense. I am floored by this. I had a wave of emotions at this point, I'm pissed at Nancy.

I decide I just can't pull the trigger. It's just not me, I tell her I can't fuck her. She gets scared because she thinks I'm going to complain to nancy. I tell her not to worry and pay her 50k for her trouble and 20k for cab fare. She's pretty floored by me not wanting to fuck her. Trust me it was not an easy decision. Especially after seeing her naked, Jesus that was not fair.

So that night was a bust. It's my fault really, had I followed the rules I would never had even been in that situation. I will say this fuck Nancy. Mr.Ed said he had an okay time with Angie, according to him she was a little frigid in the sack. I went to sleep that night vowing to follow the rules and never let myself be in that situation again.

Nancy was trying to run game on DG and myself but luckily DG already knew her so she backed off a bit. She just has random prices, random contact with girls and tries to overcharge you for drinks.

BUT...

She has hot and young looking girls which I prefer and lots of college students who work when they need to which usually means high turnover and low mileage. Girls with less experience are more likely to accept my PSE requirements or at a minimum GFE. I found that harder to come by with higher end escorts.

I like your account of Centro. Visceral. Truly right out of Bukowski East LA. Now try 53rd and De Grief at 10pm and tell me what you see. Or the area around the church. Then walk up to the low-end nightclubs like Executivo and Maricaibo. Damn I miss that sleeze!

Man, I actually have a few bad stories about Nancy's from my last trip that I probably should have shared with you Coqui. My bad.

Infanticide this is why we need another trip report from you buddy.

Ugggg please tell me this was a short trip. You don't like a bandeja paisa for starters? You wont like Colombia or Medellin.

I'm surprised you couldn't find more decent places to eat. It's true the low-end mom-and-pop neighborhood food joints aren't really all that appetizing, you have to choose carefully among the carb and meat-heavy selections. I don't mind arepas but only the plain ones, not the ones with cheese inside. In the future you'd be better off just going into one of the high end malls (Oviedo) or mid-range shopping centers, they have a good selection of chain restaurants or franchises, including ones from the states. I know some people here will laugh at this, but the McDonald's in Colombia is pretty good, a step or two above the ones in the states. Their chicken salad is almost always a safe choice if you don't want to strain your digestive system. For something more authentic, but not way off the gringo palate, check out Leņas y Carbon; that's more a Cali thing but I think I saw one in MDE when I was there. You're from NY so think of Leņas as a Colombian version of Tad's Steaks with the meat a step or two above since the beef cattle there don't get a heavy corn-based diet or other processed stuff. There is a Colombian burger franchise called El Corral that is also pretty good if you can't stand the idea of going to a McD's when outside the states.

As for your so-called newbie errors, I think you did okay, you didn't make any major mistakes, so don't be hard on yourself. Casa runs can be very hit or miss, just keep trying until you find a winner.

The only mistake that I would point out to you is the one you actually didn't realize you made. Probably because you didn't understand yet the Colombian culture.

Let's put aside the age issue and talk basic strategy. You lost Paulina to the korean dude because you didn't close or make your intentions/interest clear. You see in Colombia, people rarely reject directly, it's all done very indirect or passive-aggressive. So when you told the girl you had to go to the bathroom, she interpreted that as you weren't really interested in her; if you had told her you were going to take her as soon as you came back from the john, it's 80% sure she would have brushed off the korean guy. Hell, just take her to a room, there's almost always a toilet and shower in these places; unless you're doing #2 and worried of stinking up the place you don't have to be embarrased of peeing in front of the girl, believe me, these chicas have seen and done it all, lol!

That's the only real mistake you made, and I can't blame you because you didn't know. But now you do. ;-) So even if you're not sure you're going to take her, just tell the girl to stay there, you'll be right back after going for a bio break, talking to your friend, whatever, that she shouldn't even look at another guy, you can say this in a cute, funny way, but with the eye contact that lets her know you're serious about her.

Also, avoid waiting around for sloppy seconds. I'm not a fan of sloppy seconds, I think the reasons are obvious (the girl may be tired from the first session, plus she's made her money for the day, she won't give you the same attention/effort). Sometimes you just don't know if you're the first customer, but actually waiting an hour for another monger to finish seems kind of flaky to me to be honest. I know I've seen locals do that for a favorite of theirs and obviously some mongers do it but something about it doesn't seem right to me, it can make the guy come across as somewhat desperate, not to mention it's not exactly the best use of one's precious vacation hours.

One thing that really kicks my ass in Mexico and from the looks of it, elsewhere in Latin America. Everytime I see salchichas on the menu, I figure I got some sausage coming. Like Farmer John links or something like that. Hell no, they give you a weenie. Doesn't matter if its for breakfast or on a pizza.

Sausage is usually called Chorizo in latin countries.

I went once to Nancy's and I don't get why she's so popular. Lots of other options out there for a better price.