It is still hotter than hell here! And humid! Like Houston or St. Louis in the summer!

OVERVIEW

There are more Russians here than ever before, but this might not be all bad. The Russians are a family-oriented crowd, and they bring their own women; I don't see them horn-dogging the hookers. They seem to be displacing some of the monger element, turning Pattaya overall into a more family-oriented tourist destination. There used to be a lot of fights between farang during high season. (And the highly-manipulative Esarn bar girls knew how to play this to their advantage.) The mongers seem more tolerant of each other lately.

(Sidebar on fights: what really sucks about fights is that no matter what, the outcome is uncertain.)

Vendors sell clothing, food, and all kinds of junk from tents along the beach side of Beach Road 1 (Sai 1). This has displaced the beach hookers, and an expat who lives here told me that that was the intent: "Clean up Pattaya." I don't know whether this is just for the holidays or an ongoing thing, but the beach hookers are now concentrated on the concrete landing --this thing between the beach and the sidewalk:



...that shot was taken around 1 p.m. --before the hookers showed up in full force.

Often in Pattaya I'll spot some nice brown body, beautiful legs, but when I get a glimpse of the front she's a baboon. Bangkok suits me better. I just come here to visit girls I know from before and do stuff I only do in Pattaya (swimming, sunbathing, etc.).

I had a wing man for most of the Pattaya trip, so this report should have a more balanced point of view. I like: cute young girls without tattoos or implants, unshaven (i.e. with a bush). I also prefer brown skin. Such girls are hard to come by in Pattaya during high season. My buddy preferred (incredibly, to me): heavier, older, and slutty-looking women. Tattoos are OK with him.

This is a shotgun review of some of the places that we hit on this trip.

CLUBS

Kinnaree Place (CH Link) is a Nevada-style brothel. We got there around 4 p.m. It was a sea of men with about three dozen Thai girls milling about in a few large rooms with wet bars. It's out of the way, south of town. The girls were a bit long in the tooth for my taste, but my buddy found several of them attractive. There was only one girl I would have gone with, but some guy was hovering over her. You pay 350 baht for the room, and the girl gets 1000 baht for forty minutes. I wanted to leave after one drink. It's best if you have your own wheels to check this place out, lest you end up dealing with price-gouging taxi drivers for a ride back into town.

(Speaking of gouging, the rip-offs in Pattaya are darn near incessant during high season. You have to be on your guard with everyone from hookers to baht-bus drivers who try to double-charge you. Masseuses who tell you one price and then tell you another after the massage, etc. Be clear in your bargaining. Doesn't hurt to write numbers down on a piece of paper.)

Soi LK Metro, near Soi Bukhao, has opened new clubs just during the last few months. One of them that I just got back from is Lady Love (CH Link). My buddy was in hog heaven: heavier, older women (moms), most with at least some tattoos (and/or C-section scars), but some of which are facially stunning! And I STAND CORRECTED (about the highest bar fine being 700 baht): The bar fine at Lady Love is a whopping 2000 baht! After midnight it goes down to 1500 baht. Whoa. Totally not worth it as far as I'm concerned.

On Walking Street I liked Super Girl (CH Link), Spanky's (CH Link), and Peppermint (CH Link). My buddy liked the Windmill Club (CH Link) --that's the actual name of the club, and it's not the one right on Walking Street that has a windmill on the front. Inside, the Windmill Club looks like the debauchery scene when Moses (Charlton Heston) came down from the mountain in The Ten Commandments: slutty older girls eating each other on stage, body sandwiches, etc. Everybody's packed into a small space. I was afraid the place would be hit by lightning.

Dream Teen (CH Link): a disappointment this time around, as has been the trend in recent years. We were about to leave after looking at the binder of photos when the mamasan called the girls out to line up for us as we sat on the couch. It was demeaning, as if they were being forced into military prostitution or something.

PP Massage (CH Link) Just one of the soapies we checked out. This one's on the Soi Bukhao side and the girls were a little long-in-the-tooth for my taste. I kidded my buddy that the three-digit numbers on their buttons were their ages.




IT IS SO HARD TO FIND GOOD HEAD THESE DAYS

We checked out Lólita's (CH Link) on Soi LK Metro, then went to the Bliss Lounge (CH Link), another BJ place about a ten-minute hike from there. We decided to partake at the Bliss Lounge because the girls were a bit more tolerable. (I've only seen dogs at BJ places anywhere for the past year.) We were taken to adjacent rooms by the girls picked. Mine wiped me off with a sanitary wipe and then went to work on me as I sat in a lounge chair and she knelt on a pillow.

She had a fast, tongue-flicking technique that was fun for a while, but when it came time to finish me off, she was going too fast. I asked her (in Thai) to slow down a bit. She kept going fast. Again, I asked her to make slower movements. She didn't slow down and it wasn't very erotic. I said, "Slow down? Do you understand?" She snapped back "Understand!" but she didn't do what I wanted, plus her fingernails were hurting me. I just washed off in the shower and went downstairs. My buddy had finished and paid his 700 baht.

I feel sick when I think about that place. Think I'll pass on the BJ places until some positive reports come out.

STRANGE PUSSY

MAI

Pattaya is what you make of it. Instead of just going to clubs and bar-hopping, I make it a point to get enough sleep and get out of my room to go looking during the day. That is how I found this girl and others like her. Sometimes I rent a scooter to cover more ground. I follow my instincts. Pattaya is a state of mind.

(Sidebar on renting a two-wheeler: unless you CURRENTLY ride a motorcycle at home, I strongly advise you to not rent a scooter in Pattaya. This is doubly true if you are from a country like the U.S.A. where you are used to driving on the right side of the road. The Pattaya cops WILL pull you over to check your breath, and helmet laws are strictly enforced here, for both driver and passengers. (Fine = 900 baht.) If you drink and ride, kiss your ass goodbye.)

For some reason I always meet at least one girl named Mai on each trip to Pattaya. This one I found working at a massage place on Beach Road 2 (Sai 2) just north of Soi 13/3. Oil massage was 400 an hour --or 500 in my hotel room, which is what I asked for. I was afraid this girl would be too bashful to come with me to my room, but she did it. I asked, "Khun GOO-ah, mai?" ("You afraid?") She said a little.

(Sidebar on the Thai language: the Thai word for "slash" is "TOP." So to tell the driver you want to go to Soi 13/3, you say "Soi SEEP-sahm TOP sahm.)

Back at the ranch, she closed the curtain all the way, which made my room pretty dark. I had a hunch that extracurricular sexual activity was in my near future. I opened the curtain back up a bit so that I could see her.

The massage was pretty good. After I turned over and she was doing my front, I inquired as to whether she could part with some clothing for additional baht. She was amenable. What a beautiful body! I asked if she had a kid and she said she did. I told her (truthfully) that I found that hard to believe! I sure couldn't tell from her body! Also, she had no tattoos and a beautiful bush and pussy.

I negotiated BBFS and it was steep, so I said, "OK, but you're having dinner and staying over with me tonight." She agreed. The act itself was just OK. Not enough friction. But I had several days' worth built up, so it was a relief when I finally popped.

By the time we went to dinner, we had a cloying, lovey-dovey thing going on. (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cloying) It was fun. We were feeding each other, petting, etc. I let my guard down and idiotically paid her the agreed-upon price at dinner! (Instead of the next morning! A hard-core Pattaya veteran like me! Unbelievable.)

We went to the beach later and lit off some kom-fai (flying candles, see photo). We lay on the beach chairs with her head on my chest, etc. She had me fooled. I had also told her by then that she didn't really have to stay over. (I didn't plan on doing it again with her. Just not enough friction for me to get off.)

Back at the ranch, I was on my laptop and she was in bed yapping in Esarn with her friends. Then a funny thing happened: she got a call and went out on the balcony to take it. I knew instantly that the call would be in English, to a customer. I was relieved because I didn't want to get stuck with her the rest of the week. As she was closing the patio door, I said "customer"! She came back in a few minutes later, fake-crying, and saying that her baby was sick. (So she had to leave, I could see it coming before she said it.) I instantly told her off, that I had been to Pattaya before, and that I knew she was leaving me for another customer. I just resent being treated like an idiot. I didn't think of negotiating a partial refund until after she left --too late. The amount of money was nothing stateside, but I get sick of taking a rip-off du jour every day.

But it's one of my truisms of Pattaya: as soon as I wish a relationship were over and I start worrying about how to end it so that I can be free again, it ends itself. That very day. It's like magic.

Mai was incredibly camera-shy. This first photo is out of focus, but it's a good photo because it tells the above story photographically. The little schemer on the phone:

Photos: Mai 01 02 03 04 05

MAY

I've known this one for a while. (Too much to tell.) But May is another example of a lovely girl I met by getting out of my room and covering some ground during the day. To my eye, May is wife material. But she sure doesn't act that way! Promiscuous as all hell. If you turn your back for ten minutes she will screw someone else, and that's hardly an exaggeration. She will break you of any possessiveness you might have, believe me.

Photos: May 06 07

DEE

One new girl I met in a smaller club is Dee. She has KNOCKERS! Exceptionally big. I already knew they were big when I met her but when she got her bra off, whoa! Sorry, but she would not allow a photo of them, even when I promised to not include her face. I have only seen her at night so far, so I haven't been able to get a nice natural-light photograph. (The darn on-the-camera flash washes everything out, and flattens the image. To really do justice to these knockers, I need natural ambient light for the chiaroscuro effect. Sorry to exclude the face.) Later when we got her bra off, I kept thanking her over and over. It was fun getting a real hand full of breasts. I haven't had my hands on a pair like this in, oh, ten years or so. They're huge.

Photos: Dee 08 09

The next night I had promised an all-nighter to one of my regulars, so I went by Dee's bar early to leave word that I had business to tend to. ("MEE too-RAHH" --"I have business.") By around 8 p.m. I was in my room settling in with my regular --a tender young sylph, dark brown and innocent. No tattoos. I got a surprise when I came out of the shower to discover that my innocent little girl had opened the door for someone who knocked! It was some girl. Wrapped in a towel, I asked who it was and peeked out from behind my girl and the door. Wrong number. We just shut the door and that girl went to knock on the next door.

Little did I realize --because I had taken my contact lenses out in preparation for bed-- that it had been Dee at my door! She came to my room uninvited and without calling! Bad girl! I found this out the next night when I brought Dee back for our second tryst, thus confirming for her that this was indeed my room! She doubled up her fist at me and was like, "You have LADY last night!!" (Maybe she hadn't been sure it was me with the wet hair crouching in a towel behind the little brown spinner and the door.) I lectured her about calling before coming over.

She did the same damn thing a couple of nights later! Luckily I didn't have anyone in my room at that time. Very possesive. I must have gaped her good!

One disadvantage of having stayed and tipped at this same hotel for so many years: everyone who works here knows me, and they allow girls to pass through the lobby to my room unhindered, without even carding them. They're trying to give me special treatment but it works against me sometimes.

PSYOPs

PSYOPs can be an important part of Pattaya survival. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PSYOP

One night Dee was wearing a low-cut top. We walked back to my hotel and I got a kick out of watching the faces of men walking in the opposite direction (toward us). They couldn't help looking at her big breasts jiggle. I couldn't blame them one bit. (She's twenty years old and they're about in their peak condition.) I wore a "looky-what-I've-got" smirk on my face to let them know it was OK to look. That particular evening I walked her past a spot where we would be spotted by an enemy Esarn girl who set me up for a hurt earlier this year. I pretended to not observe but I could tell that it bothered her. Retribution via PSYOPs.

INDIAN PSYOPs

You know those pushy Indian tailors who try to sell you suits? The ones to grab your arm or sometimes step out into the sidewalk in your way? Today one of them was holding some pictures of male models wearing suits. I said, "Can you make my face look like his? Ha ha." He then lectured me about not disturbing him! He said "If you want a suit, then talk to me. Otherwise do not disturb me. Did I disturb you?" What a prick!


FITNESS CENTERS

I Googled for gyms in Pattaya and found Stickman's useful page. For bodybuilders, Power Station on Walking Street, just north of Soi 16 seems to be the best deal. It's 120 baht per visit, or 290 for three visits, etc. They've got a squat rack, two (TWO!) calf machines, a leg press, a nice pull-up bar, a full set of dumbells, preacher bench, and olympic barbells. Plus the usual aerobic machines (treadmills, etc.)

My plan was to peak at home before coming to Thailand, but I've ended up staying in shape here. Had no idea I would be working out at this level. Next year I'm bringing some protein supplement.

I will finish this report in a couple of weeks.

Forgot to mention Secrets (CH Link), a club on Walking Street Soi 14 that a girlfriend turned me on to. At first glance it looks like just another club, but it's different and I like it because: (1) there's no stage; there are about half a dozen girls dancing in individual spots around the place, (2) the music is not so loud that you have to shout over it. You can actually hold a conversation there, and (3) they serve good food at decent prices.

"I like: cute young girls "

Seriously? Maybe your version isn't quite everyone else's according to your photos so far. Bangkok has just as many baboons as you call them.

Blazers, I don't post photos of them. (Kate, for example. She's no longer at Smoke N Kisses, BTW.) I don't think they deserve to be publicly humiliated by having their photos posted on a whoremonger board at that stage, especially after sleeping with me.

Thank you for taking a survey of everyone else's "version," whatever that means. (?)

There's just no incentive to report here.

Thanks for your report, Costar, I'm enjoying it.

Blazers apparently doesn't realize that a lot of people have different tastes than he does, and that they have just as much a right to their tastes as he does to his. He does the board a disservice when he criticizes those tastes. I appreciate his excellent reports where he showcases what HE likes--he's a great, veteran contributor to this board--but I wish he'd stop posting such useless and counterproductive comments. They discourage people from posting.

Actually I was merely responding to the fact that he says he has superior taste when it comes to bargirls and that's the reason why he prefers Bangkok to the "baboons" of Pattaya.

If he wants to take his ball and go home because he isn't getting his ass kissed, well that's his issue.

There's probably a hundred guys like myself that do a lot of traveling and don't contribute because of nonsense like this.

Me personally, I don't like skinny girls of 18, I prefer one older and thicker with nice legs and big butt so I can imagine what I would have to listen to here.

We are losing out on information due to the constant criticism of other guys pulls.

Personally the women Costar pulled looked just fine to me although some were not my type.

Thanks for the contribution.

Trek

I have to agree with Irek and Hunterman.

We should all take personal reports for what they are...personal.

I personally am very thankful that we all have different tastes and levels (economic and otherwise) to enjoy ourselves.

In my view, every report has something useful.

There are some of our members, established or not, who appear to be a bit to quick to utter negative comments a bit to quickly just because or because the posters view of the mongering world does not fit theirs well.

I mean no disrespect as many of the vets have indeed make huge contributions to this and other boards. But small contributions matter as well.

Blazers, all you post is pictures of FOOD, you two-faced idiot! LOL Why don't you post to ThaiFoodPictures.com

I will only post the photos I'm willing to post. The only potential reward for doing what you want me to do is the approval of a hostile cyber-bully that I will never hook up with personally. You have no leverage here. For a lawyer, your manipulation skills are pathetic!

And it doesn't matter that there are baboons in BKK. Who cares about the undesirables where the cuties are more plentiful? You missed the point entirely becausey you are an imbecile. Way to go, Professor Dershowitz.

You called Thai women baboons, you racist fuck. I posted photos of more girls in two days than you did of your entire trip. If you want to withhold photos, that's your decision old man,

Wah, you hurt my feelings and I don't want to post anymore. Either post or dont. Complete pussies in the USA these days.

(Message edited by Blazers on January 01, 2013)

Thanks for the report. I just have one question. Are you speaking of Issan girls when you say Esarn? That was confusing me a bit throughout your report. Otherwise, good report and thanks for sharing.

What are the odds? Blazers getting into a pissing contest over photos....

I remember the days when I out-posted, out-travelled and out-fucked Blazers, and all he ever said about my pics was 'why no face in that pic?'

If it helps to put him in perspective - picture Blazers as the guy on the left in this photo - aka 'Waldorf' He has a little more going for him than Statler, for what it's worth. That's all I have to say about Waldorf

Hey, Im only 44.

I was too harsh here and apologize to the OP but it was the "I have great taste, Bangkok is better and Pattaya girls look like baboons" that set me off. The OP sees to have the same elitist attitude about Manila vs. AC. As I'd those of us that go to mongering towns outside the capital are peasants.

I overreacted.

@Trek: thank you for your comments. Yes, CH is a flame-fest, but who has time to moderate? It is enough of a PITN running a web site as it is.

@Mexidan: Yes. Issan, Esarn, or however you want to transliterate it with Roman characters. (It's actually spelled with Thai characters.)

@Blazers: I was referring to facially unattractive girls as baboons. "Facially unattractive girls" is not a race or even a cognizable class. On the other hand, you often put down Indians, write of the places they can't get into, etc. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Now if you all will excuse me, my girlfriend is in the shower. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my stay and forget all about this site for a while. Over and out.

I think you meant writing off places the Indians can get into and that is only because of their taste in women.

Costar paid for the flight, he paid for the vacation and the ladies. If he thinks Pattaya women are baboons and the Bangkok women are awesome let him have his opinion. Its his dime. He can also have all the Elitist attitudes he wants too. You can have what you want when its your dime.

If Costar believes Burger King burgers are the best, but you believe McDonalds is the best, well so what. Who cares. The point of this forum is not to argue which is the best, but to simply report your observations and opinions. We are grown adults and know whats being presented to us is an opinion. We will look at the photos and agree or disagree, but we shouldnt flame the man for voicing his opinion.

Please lets stay away from the age old debates of Camaro vs Mustang or even Mustang vs BMW. Lets stay grown up, report our opinion and respect the mans opinion even if we disagree with ourselves. Let Costar have his Burger King and you can have your McDonalds.

To be honest, I didnt even waste my time reading all the comments and Im not sure why Im wasting time typing a few paragraphs. I just browsed through the pictures smiling, laughing or straight faced and then on to the next report.