This was the lower side view suite for R$250/night. I obtained the rate from Andre at Ipanema.com.
I felt it was a great bargain (included a morning breakfast) and the hotel was well-situated. It was one block to the beach and one in the other direction to the main shopping drag. The staff was helpful and provided recommendations for restaurants, bars, termas, drivers etc...I never brought a garota back but I seriously doubt it would have been a problem if you were discrete.
After getting acclimated to Rio by walking the beach and sampling the 60 cent choppes, my buddy and I left for 4 x 4 in a cab. The Friday afternoon pilgrimage was on. I was surprised to be dropped off at an innocuous looking entry on a busy side street. (Surely one sees the Taj Mahal or Chartres for miles in advance). We entered paying the basic rate and were slightly apprehensive in the locker room. It is a little unsettling to think you will just have flip flops, a robe and a key. The men changing in the locker room, the showers and sauna all had the vague feeling of being a gay bathhouse of some kind. When I walked into the bar, it was like the waters parting. Holy shit! There were 75-80 beautiful women there to welcome us. After securing a cold choppe and wandering a bit we settled on an area by the side of the stage, making small talk, fending off the aggressive ones (generally lower quality), watching the girls get dirty on stage, and soaking it all up. What a visual treat. I know there are many much more discriminating members on the board, but what I saw was sheer pleasure. Even the 5-7s are friendly and appetizing to a vacationing refugee from the frigid north. The atmosphere is super charged with sex. After an hour or two of mingling, I was chosen. She found me after my friend had disappeared. She was a mulatta with a classic bunda. The face was so-so, but the body was killer. She dragged me upstairs to make my choice (upgraded immediately) and off we went for an hour in the suite. The sex was raw and uninhibited. DFK, no problem. BBBJ, can do. The passion, the multiple positions and the 2 shots made me think of the musical intro to Wide World of Sports. It has been twenty years since I have exercised regularly.
Returned to the hotel for a cool down. I had brought some aged rum from duty free and enjoyed the balcony. The hotel provided a CD player for tunes. The hotel desk recommended The Esplanada Grille for dinner. It is excellent, but pricey by Brazilian standards. R$200 for steak, salad, and a bottle of red wine. The eye candy was terrific. Next to us was a couple from California at the end of a week long visit. The buxom female told us it was a great city, but to avoid Copacabana at night. "Why," I innocently queried? "Because, it is filled with prostitutes-especially a place called Help Disco," she tartly replied. The boyfriend, meagerly defending his masculinity, gave us a sorrowful look as if to say yes I nod with her in coerced agreement. If I do not nod, I will not get laid tonight. His message was unmistakable. Go to Help Disco. Nevertheless we defied the mixed messages and headed off to Termas Solarium.
We arrived around 11 o'clock. Knowing the drill, we took our third or fourth shower of the day and marched confidently into the bar. As an aside, one of the most pleasing aspects of termas has to be the feeling of cleanliness that accompanies such decadence. I know bacteria and viruses must flourish in that atmosphere but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. Anyway, we went about procuring some after dinner libations and working the room a little bit. My buddy was starting to fade as the jet lag and alcohol were kicking in. Nevertheless, I found a little spinner I was determined to enjoy. A 20 yo with braces and 1 kid. She was the opposite of the earlier chick from 4 x 4. Did the 40 minute express cabina and enjoyed the hell out of it. She was naughty. A BBBJ and extensive ball licking managed to do the trick. I negotiated for her to return to my hotel after her shift. My buddy meanwhile was still fading. Upon hearing my plan he decided to do the same. However, his negotiations were fouled up by his inebriated state. The garota was reluctant and eventually decided to torpedo the plan with the lame excuse that my buddy was groping her. Yes, we were going to leave the terma without garotas because he was groping a prostitute. Oh well, there was always tomorrow.
Saturday we did the afternoon choppe stroll through Ipanema and Copacabana. It was cloudy so the beach was rather subdued. We found ourselves at an overpriced bar in Copa called the Balcony. There were some jaded hookers mingling about as we ate lunch and enjoyed the scene. After a brief moment of indecision (hotel for a nap?), we told the cab driver to take us back to Solarium. What followed was an extended stay. The afternoon crew was good, the ratio was heavily stacked in our favor, and we proceeded to relax in style. A couple of mediocre massages (R$40), saunas and cold choppes produced a brief nap in the lounge. This time I was attracted to a big-breasted morena who wanted to work me over in the jacuzzi suite. Who was I to say no? I signed up for the program and played the game all over again. The sex was great and we closed with a friendly rub and tug in the tub. I though to myself who the fuck thought up the idea of a terma? Why doesn't every city (with legal prostitution) have a program like this? This fantasy has got to combine at least 3-4 of my favorite sensations/activities in a safe and reasonably priced manner. What would it take to convince an entrepreneur in TJ to open one? They have massage joints and prostitution. What they don't have is a quality program.
Went back to the hotel for more drinks on the balcony and a brief nap. Woke up to grab a quick dinner and arrived at Barbarella around 1 o'clock. The place was crowded and we still managed to procure a table by the side of the stage. It was a great location near the women's restroom so every garota made a stroll past. We stayed for about an hour drinking and chatting but not making any decisions. We decided to go to Help. The place was packed. I was quite impressed by the selection and opportunities. My buddy less so. We drank a few choppes, he started to complain about the music. The option of putting him in a cab appealed to me, but I was fading too. So after about an hour we called it quits. Sometimes nothing strikes the imagination and so it was on my Saturday night in Rio.
Sunday we woke up to our one glorious sunny day. The day started with renting bikes and cruising up and down Copacabana and Ipanema beach.
Finally we decided to do the hooker beach in front of the Rio Othon Hotel and settled in to some beach chairs with an umbrella. The tout, Jerry, brought us a Herald Tribune and fed us a steady diet of the coldest beers we had ever tasted. The crowd of chicks was mixed but it was entertaining nonetheless. After a few hours we returned the bikes and prepared for the soccer match. We had the hotel driver take us to Maracana for the Fla-Flu match which was a blast. It was a one sided 4-1 blowout for Flamingo. The crowd was 80% Flamingo and sang for the entire two hours.
We sat in the archibrinquada (upper deck) seats for R$15. Beers were cold, hot dogs were too. Our driver was waiting for us at the end of the match and we were in and out without any problems. Ate at a good Italian joint around the corner and went out to a terma. The hotel guy sent us to Centauras but it was closed as it was a Sunday night. So, back to Solarium. We found there was time pressure as we had 1:15 minutes to make a selection before closing the bar. Pounded a couple of choppes and in walks the spinner from Friday. No problem, I can repeat when its good. Express cabina and right away she's asking me too DATY. Not my style so I politely declined and let her administer to my johnson. Better strategy as I was paying. She starts talking about money for her kid and I suddenly don't understand a word of Portuguese. Oh well, this was just another $50 event.
Monday we start doing the tourist sites of Corcovado and Sugar Loaf. I always laugh when I read about people missing these items as they were too occupied with their mongering pursuits. We would have been in the exact same position but having the hotel driver made it too easy. If you go to Rio, see them both.
BTW Monday was an ideal day as the tourist crowds from the weekend had passed at both locations. Afterwards we drive through the historic sections of downtown Rio and Catete. Monday afternoon I decide to check out L'Huomo alone. My buddy is terma'd out. Easy enough to find and a very enjoyable place. The selection was better than Solarium and the strip show was entertaining. The beers were cold, I was clean as whistle and soon was in the express cabina with a ravenous morena. She was a disappointment in the cabina though. She started rushing me and trying to finish too quickly. So a couple of duds to finish my terma experiences. Ended the night at Shenanigans in Ipanema, an American-style Irish bar which had the cutest bartender I had seen in four days. Tuesday meant transfer to BA so I'll resume that in a separate report.