RT here. Back in Lima.

DAYS FOUR, FIVE & SIX – FRI-SUN, MAY 14-16, 2004

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM AREQUIPA: Had a great time at the convention... It was cold... buy chap stick... Bring sinus pills... Aero Continente SUCKS... Don’t buy local plane tickets in advance, they were much cheaper to buy here... The Santa Catalina monastery rocks... less hustle and bustle in the country's 2nd largest city... I haven't seen a pissed-off Peruvian yet... hole in the wall joints sell lunch for less than $1... I saw snow-capped mountains and volcanoes... got my picture taken with a llama... llamas stink... every Sunday morning, they do this whole big ceremony at Plaza Las Armas -- hundreds of school kids and marching bands... I didn't monger, but was offered 'girls' by a taxi driver... flew back Sunday night, had dinner and went to sleep.

DAY SEVEN - MONDAY, MAY 17, 2004

I had been thinking about my lack of 'over the top' success here in Lima. Originally, I chalked it up to rookie mistakes. But I think that isn't the case.

My current theory is that I am, er, over-thinking the entire situation. Instead of doing what many have done before me, I am trying to find different and off the beaten path ways to get laid.

I am trying to do exactly what I do in the Dominican Republic and San Jose, where the same-old, same-old has settled in. It is NOT same-old, same-old here: It's a different place, the rules are different, the people are different... I need to settle down and not think that I know so much.

With that in mind, I woke up Monday morning and got out my research. I identified three incall places and a Turkish Bath that were all virtually guaranteed to provide a good time. I plotted them on my map, and short of not being able to find these joints, and get back on track.

I start walking to the closest place, Banos Turkos en Los Andes, in the Los Andes Hotel.

BANOS TURKOS EN LOS ANDES:
In the Hotel Los Andes
Avenida Angamos Este No. 833-835, Miraflores
447-8177
12° 06' 793" S, 77° 01' 385" W
(Click here for Banos Turkos en Los Andes discussion)

Their business card promises 'loving attention', absolute privacy, and 'total relaxation'. How can I go wrong here? You enter the hotel (you can't miss it – there's a big neon sign on the roof) and take the elevator to the 9th floor. After telling the receptionist that you want a sauna and massage, you lock away your valuables and change into a towel.

These facilities weren't as nice as the Banos Turkos Windsor, but the admission was only $6, and steam is steam. So I steam, sauna, and rest, and then I announce to the receptionist that I'm ready for my massage. She sends me into a waiting room, and calls for the chicas.

It was early in the morning, so only two girls come out. They're both pretty, in their mid 20s, and wearing identical black jumpsuits, zippered down far enough so that I can see the red push-up bras doing their thing – pushing up.

I choose one of the girls (sorry, names are a blur), and we go into a semi-private massage area. It was nice and clean, but the walls do not go to the top. I worry a little, but I figure what the hell, there's no one else there at 10:30 in the morning. If she doesn't mind, neither will I.

She starts on the massage (only OK). It goes for a while, and the she has me turn over. I didn't want to be vague about my intentions, so I fondle her butt while she starts on my chest. She gets the hint and asks if I want just a massage, and I tell her no, I want more.

She says OK and quotes me $42.86. I agree. Then it gets 100% better. She tells me to put on my towel, we are going to her bedroom. Of course they have bedrooms, RT you moron, it's a god damm hotel!

We get to the hotel room and have a nice session for about an hour and a half. It starts with a slow strip and standing lap (?) dance, some more fondling, French, DATY, and two unrushed positions. I finish in a blaze of glory, and we lay in the room and talk about the differences between her and my countries, money being the top topic. The receptionist at the Baths, for example, makes $140 per month. Discretion kept me from asking what she took home, but her monthly expenses (rent, electric, water, phone) ran to about $250 per month. She used to be a secretary, but couldn't afford that job any longer.

I swear that she would have hung with me all day if I wanted, but I finally made motions to get back to the real world. It's easy to get dressed, you just put your towel on and get moving. I showered, got dressed for real, and left. The total cost for the sauna, massage, one soda, and extras: $58.57.

Walking back to the hotel area, I had a hole-in-the-wall $2 cebiche. It was every bit as good as the $6 ones in the fancy restaurants.

I spent the next few hours walking through the 'artisan' area (read: Tourist crap to take home with you). I had a fun couple of hours, what with the pressure off. I just bought some tourist crap, and flirted with every girl who cared enough to smile. One booth had two girls working, who were just in a great mood. I bought like $5 worth of crap, we joked and took some pictures. I left with their phone numbers and email addresses, with promises to call them when I get back to Lima.

Pappy called me. He was heading back from Machu Piccu, after having a great three days. We would try to hook up later.

My evening was taken up with dinner and general socializing at the house of one of the friends I had made at the convention.

We didn't finish dinner and talking until about midnight. I went to the Hacienda casino, where I lost (for the first time) about $40. Oh well, lucky in love, unlucky in cards.

As I was saying goodbye to my new friends, I decided that (except for the cold) I liked Peru and would be back.

COMING UP TUESDAY: My last day. I have a lunch date with the niece of the Peruvian travel agent I used back in Ft. Lauderdale. Also, I stopped in a photo place and let them download some of the pictures from my time with the girls at the tourist crap place. I will pick up the photos, deliver them and see if I can get a last-minute dinner date. Otherwise, I may go the outcall route, just to be thorough. My plane leaves early Wednesday morning.