I set some radio stations in the mean time though. What annoyed me the most was that news and traffic seemed to come on like every 15 minutes and then I couldn’t change the station. Well I could, but the only way I found to do so was to hit the I button three times. Perhaps there was a better way to do it. But it was still annoying to press that button when I wanted to escape news and traffic.
I didn’t research any German road signs or what they meant. But I figured when I saw the signs that were shaped in a circle and displayed five or six grey diagonal lines through an empty white space that normally had a speed limit number, I could drive as fast as I wanted. There was that and then the fact that I was driving about 120 and car after car after car was lighting me up on the left and passing me at around 60-80 kph more than the speed I was driving. And then there was the fact I hadn’t seen another speed limit sign for at least 10 km. So I decided to light it up on the roads myself.
I did it in increments though. First it was 140 and then later 160. 160 is 100 mph. When I got it up to about 180 I was finally the one lighting up the other drivers. Then I started playing Rammstein. First it was Du Hast, then Eifersucht and then finally Spiel Mit Mir. By the time Spiel Mit Mir finished I was at a place that was enforcing speed limits again so I quickly slowed down. There were also several areas of construction along the route where the limit was 60 or 80.
I was about 10 km from Cologne when Peter called. I told him Bernd's was on the agenda for today and he recommended that I hit Bernd's on the way to Cologne instead. He informed me they closed at midnight and that the place was dead by 9. We made tentative plans to hit Planet Happy Garden the following day. I thanked Peter for the information, but decided since I was so close to Cologne I would just check into the hotel first and then turn around and hit Bernd's. After that I didn’t know what I would do.
The nav system took me right to the front door of the Novotel Cologne and it was a pretty neat location right on the Rhein River.
Dorint Novotel Köln City
Bayenstrasse 51
50678 KOELN
GERMANY
Phone : (+49) 221/801470
Fax : (+49) 221/80147148
E-Mail: H3127@accor.com
Webpage: http://www.accorhotels.com/accorhotels/fichehotel/gb/nov/3127/fiche_hotel.shtml
Ah yes, the obligatory hotel and bathroom photos.
I checked in and then headed out just as quickly. I found a bank in the old town located directly behind the Novotel and then started speeding off on the 50 km journey back to Hennef and Bernd's Sauanclub. The nav system was perfect for finding Bernd’s. Basically the instructions to get to this FKK from Cologne are as follows:
1. Go south on the A3 until you get to the A560
2. Go east on the A560 towards Hennef
3. The A560 will end and then you will be on the B8
4. Follow the B8 for about 3 or 4 kilometers.
5. When you get close to a small little town called Lichtenberg, look for a street called Lichtenbergstrasse
6. Off of the B8 this means you make a super sharp right (not just a right) and almost start heading back in the direction you came.
7. Follow Lichtenbergstrasse until you find Schieferhof. Make a left onto Schieferhof.
8. You will pass a Bier Garten on Lichtenbergstrasse before you have to make the left onto Schieferhof, but I forget the name. I made a note of it on my second trip there
9. The address is Schieferhof 28.
Here is a map that highlights the route the nav system told me to take. The A560 is at the top left of the screen and the red is my route. From the map it actually looks like you can make a right earlier than what the nav system says, but I would just stick to the sharp right on Lichtenbergstrasse.
Driving up to the place absolutely tripped me out. It is basically a nice home in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Further accentuating my amazement and astonishment at the location of such a “house of prostitution” was the fact that as I was parking my car, a family of four with two kids in strollers were casually walking in front of me before I could pull in to park.
Bernd´s Saunaclub (Schieferhof)
Schieferhof 28
53773 Hennef/Lichtenberg
Phone: 02248/1529
Hours: Monday through Thursday 1:00 pm to Midnight, Friday 1:00 pm to 1:00 am Closed on the Weedends
Website: http://www.bernds-sauna-club.de/
Prices: Entry 70 € Blowjob without a condom and sex with finish in mouth: 50 €
I was buzzed in and I informed the attendant it was my first time there. I let her give me the spiel and then was assigned a lady to show me the club. I was given two towels and led back to the changing room and showers.
Upon entering this club directly ahead of me was a small desk and the clerk for entry fees and for paying when I finished. Before I got to this desk, on the right there were stairs that led down. To the left of the clerk desk was a bar. On the left side of the bar was a small room that probably was the kitchen in the house previously. That was where the buffet was setup. To the right of the bar was a small lounge area where the ladies sometimes hung out.
To the right of the clerk’s desk was a small and narrow hallway that led back to the locker room and the showers with the showers being on the right and the lockers being on the left. Inside the locker room was a door that led to another fuck room.
I got undressed and quickly showered and then my lady met me to give me the formal tour of the place. She showed me the floor level I just described and then we went downstairs. The stairs twisted down and to the right. When they ended I was in another lounge room. Yet another bar was located directly to my right with the chairs and couches in front of me. On the other side of the lounge were more fuck rooms with one open room with only glass separating it from the lounge. Down the hallway were more showers. I believe there was also a third floor of this place with more fuck rooms, but I never made it up there. I thanked my lady for the tour, but there was no way in hell I was going to take her.
I got a drink (you got free beer or cola at this place unlike Oase where you only got non-alcoholic beer or soda) and took a look around. I was not that impressed. It was still early, so I decided to hang out and just kick back. Soon I was watching dudes get blowjobs on the couch by eager women that seemed happy to please. This got me as horny as all hell and I wanted to be the one getting blown.
So I looked and looked. Peter informed me during our phone call that the women tended to be on the older side at Bernd´s and this assessment was pretty much correct. I finally found a lady that I thought was cute, but she kind of had a big nose. Still, she was good enough considering my arousal level so I started up a conversation with her. Her name was Melissa, 27, from Czech Republic. It wasn’t long before we were DFK’ing on the couch and I was receiving a BBBJ.
We soon retired to the room for more BBBJ action, more DFK’ing and my first of several excellent sessions at Bernd´s. I asked about CIM which she confirmed was available and right as I was about to finish I ripped off the condom, swung her around, stuck my dick in her mouth and shot away. She spat my jism into a Kleenex afterward.
I didn’t have to pay the women at Bernd´s right after the session like I did at Oase. Instead Melissa took my key number and put it on a tab. I then showered up and received a clean towel to continue the hunting.
It wasn’t long before I met Basca, 29, from Poland I think. This session started much the same as the first. Basca provided another warm-up BBBJ on the couch before we headed to the room for more BBBJ action. Another thing I liked about this place was that all the ladies seemed to really enjoy the sex. That is, they were all great actresses with lots of moaning and lots of positive feedback. All my sessions including couch time warm-up, etc lasted well past the 35 and 40 minute mark and I didn’t get charged extra. I also didn’t hear any complaints about it from the ladies. All the women seemed to really enjoy the DATY I provided as well.
It was a great time. I finished in Basca’s mouth as well and then cleaned up to find one more target. It was around 7:30 or 8 by now so this would probably be my last season before I headed somewhere else. I spotted a beautiful blonde that I wanted, but unfortunately had to endure her getting to know another man right as I was about to make my move. They got “friendly” on the couch so I decided to wait. I killed the time by drinking and just looking around, enjoying the atmosphere of the naked women.
I also forgot to mention that while touring the house I was shown the executive fuck room. This had a whirlpool bath and a tv/vcr for viewing porn. The room was 150 € for the hour, 100 € to the lady and 50 € to the house. It hardly seemed worth it to me.
My blonde had finally returned so I wasted no time in introducing myself to her. Her name was Mickey, 22, from Czech Republic. She was so cute. Nice tits, beautiful face. It was not long before I had my tongue down her throat, which of course soon led to my dick in her mouth.
I again DATY’ed on her before she provided some terrific BBBJ action in the room. It was another great session with her demanding I finish in her mouth by making a blowjob motion with her hand and mouth and then pointing down her throat. Now that was cute. My only regret during this session is that I had little “milch” left after my two pops earlier and my six pops the day before. I wasn’t shooting blanks just yet, but I wished there was more volume for the cute little Mickey.
After three sessions I called it night. I showered up and got dressed and went to leave. Before leaving I turned in my key and the clerk loudly screamed out the names of all the women I had just fucked. Mickey was busy fucking someone else already, but Basca and Melissa assembled so I could pay them. I only had a 100 bill and a 50 so I gave that to the clerk and she changed it and then paid the ladies.
The two that I just fucked then saw me off at the door and shivered when I opened it since it was so cool outside. Another quick hug and kiss goodbye to each lady and I was out the door. It was snowing! Yup. As I was leaving Bernd´s that evening it was freaking snowing. It wasn’t sticking to the ground, but my windshield needed a good cleaning so I could see.
Since Peter and I had made plans to hit Planet Happy Garden the following day, I decided to hit Wildenrath. I have no idea how I got there. It was snowing and raining on my way there and I seem to remember go through several small towns and making tons of turns after getting off the main autobahn. On the map at http://www.de.map24.com/ it seems like there was a much more direct route there, but I remember tons of turns and taking not such a direct route. The nav system will get you right to the front door though, so you can easily rely on that as long as you have it.
While I was making the drive there though (I think it was 120 or so kilometers from Hennef) I got really tired. I actually had to pull over at a truck stop/gas station and fill up on some coke and peanuts before I could resume the trip. I was about 40 km from Wildenrath at the truck stop when Peter called to check on how things went at Bernd´s. I told him I had a great time and was heading to Wildenrath now. Little did I know how tempting that was for Peter. He immediately rattled off the recommendations of like three or four ladies and was tempted to join me. He changed his mind several times before saying he would meet me there.
Parksauna Wildenrath
Heinsberger Strasse. 35
41844 Wegberg/Wildenrath
Phone: 0 24 32 – 90 85 35
Hours: Monday through Saturday 2:00 pm to 4:00 am
Sunday 5:00 pm to 2:00 am
Prices: 50€ Entry 25€ Sex and CBJ 50€ Sex and BBBJ
Webpage: http://www.parksauna-wildenrath.de/
I got back into my car to resume the trip and in no time was pulling right up in front of Wildenrath. I entered and met the lady at the front (there was no real reception area there), but as I was changing remembered that I had forgotten my own condoms and lube in the car. I was asked to be let out again so that I could retrieve them. This error was only compounded when I left my wallet in the car after throwing it into the center console for some reason upon opening it up to retrieve my condoms and lube.
Needless to say I made quite a scene and felt kind of stupid going back to my car twice. But I need my own condoms! I was finally in and given the spiel. It was 50€ entrance, 25€ for a CBJ and fuck or 50€ for BBBJ and fuck.
They had nice white robes at this place and the women walked around in bikinis or nightwear, although there was one who went around topless. I was given a quick tour. Upon entering and directly to the left is the locker room. Coming out of the locker room and then making a left leads to the main bar and lounge area. Across from the bar and next to the locker room are the showers and a nice restroom. In the main bar area there is a refrigerator that stocks all you can drink soda and beer. I forget the names of beer they stocked. Continuing on down the hall and to the left after the locker room, shower and restrooms is a hallway that leads into a dry sauna. To the left of the sauna are the stairs that lead to the second floor and a door that leads to the security room/office.
Upstairs there was a big open space surrounded by four fuck rooms. Immediately to the right is another shower room and to the far left is a big open lounge room with a television and more couches/chairs and big round bed in the middle for public sex.
I went back downstairs and grabbed something to drink and sat on a stool at the bar while I waited for Peter to arrive. About five minutes later the clerk that let me in came running into the room with a mobile phone in her hand. She was scanning the room looking for someone and I knew she was looking for me. I got up to greet her and she motioned for me to come into the hallway.
She handed me the phone and it was Peter informing me that he had decided to stay home for the evening. I guess when Peter had called the clerk she made mention to him of my ordeal with heading back to the car several times and I got the label of “confused guy” from her. When Peter called her and asked for me she replied with something like, “Oh. You mean the confused guy.” Oh well. Peter and I re-affirmed our plans to meet tomorrow at PHG and said goodbye.
I went back into the main lounge area and started to scan the talent. There were probably around 10 ladies working. I noticed a blonde that I liked so I approached her and asked her name. She spoke excellent English and said her name was Eva/Eve. I forget where she was from, but I am sure Peter remembers as I thought this was one of the ladies he recommended. I think she was Polish.
Eve was definitely a bit older at 30. She didn’t look that old from far away, but you could surely see it up close. It was especially noticeable around her eyes. She was a hot blonde though and had nice tits and a decent body. I decided to take her upstairs for the 50 Euro session. We both took showers beforehand and then got down to business on the bed. It was another great session with a great BBBJ and nice DFK’ing.
I thought her BBBJ skills were excellent and she was content to suck me until I’d had enough and we moved onto sex. Our session lasted a good 35-40 minutes (since I was keeping close watch now). Although she didn’t complain about the time I was admonished by her at the end of our time that some other ladies “might not be the same way.”
Overall I was very pleased with the session though. Later in the evening I approached a Russian with a super skinny body and dark hair that was pulled back into a pony tail. I thought she was cute and said hi. She immediately said something about not speaking English and seemed to want to have nothing to do with me. This could have been due to the language barrier or perhaps she just didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Regardless, her unfriendly attitude and unwillingness to work around the language barrier left a really bad taste in my mouth.
So after getting shot down by her, I started eyeing some other ladies. While I was making my decision, they all seemed to disappear one by one. There was another gorgeous brunette I wanted but she seemed preoccupied with someone else. Then there was the topless skinny lady, but she got taken right as I made my move. I couldn’t just fuck one lady so I had to take someone.
There was a chick sitting on the couch in the back of the lounge who was wearing glasses. She smiled brightly at me when I glanced her way, but I wasn’t overly attracted to her. I continued glancing and she continued smiling. I was getting tired and didn’t want to wait so I went over to speak with her.
She spoke no English, but we got past that. Her name was Laura from Latvia. She originally told me “Let-Land” which I didn’t understand until asking Peter the following day at PHG. I tried to get her age but the with the language barrier it just was not happening.
I decided to take her up and I would have to label the session as very average. So I guess I was 4/5 for the day. She tried to cut the BBBJ a little short and was a strict clock watcher. I did get the full thirty minutes out of her, but the average BBBJ and the clock watching brought the session down a little bit.
At this point I was really bummed that Peter wasn’t around. Since this was his place where everyone knew him I thought perhaps I would have had a better experience there if he were around. Looking at the place objectively I had one terrific session and one average session. At the surface it wasn’t that bad. But the one experience with the unfriendly Russian (I don’t know her name) just really turned me off and put me in a sour mood. And the worst part was that it wasn’t all that unexpected. On the way there during our phone call at the truck stop Peter even informed me that some of the ladies may not take too kindly or be friendly to me. I don’t remember if he used the word “foreigner” or American or just perhaps he was saying I would be at a disadvantage for not speaking German. But I do remember a comment from him beforehand saying the ladies might not take to me for whatever reasons. In the case of the Russian he was dead on.
The house was not huge like Oase and the selection was not as large. But the facilities they did have were very nice and quite plush. It was a small and intimate atmosphere and that was what appealed to Peter.
I showered up and changed back into my street clothes and headed out. It was pretty late and Peter wanted to meet at 1pm at PHG the following day. I didn’t think I could make it at one, but we’d see. I then made the drive back to Cologne to crash for the night.
Coming soon. A day at PHG. One horrible experience with a hot German lady. Meeting Peter and fucking a Tunisian.