After checking in, I unpacked and cleaned up myself and tended to a few work-related issues. Then, after a short nap, I headed out to exchange some money and get a bite to eat. I had been living on airline food for the past 36 hours and NEEDED to eat something decent. I usually change money at the Natalia Apartelle on Fields, but when I stopped there I was surprised to hear that they were out of pesos. I went around the corner to Norma's, exchanged 200 dollars (the exchange rate was 41.45) and headed to Mo's for sustenance. Along the way, I had to buy a new phone chip (365 pesos for the chip and a 300 peso load) as my old number had expired.

As always, the rail at Mo's is the BEST place on Fields to people watch. As I sat at the rail, I quietly looked around after ordering chicken strips and finally started to relax. The street was a mass of confusion – bar girls walking to work, trikes zipping down the street, hawkers selling their endless amount of shit, and jeepneys rumbling along. There was a slight smell of sewage in the air mixed with the pungent odor of trike exhaust fumes and a slightly ripe Aussie to my left. A cacophony of noise greeted my ears – a tinkling bell sound from the ice cream vendor’s bike, horns from trikes, garbled music coming from various bars, bar girls laughing and chatting with each other, the sound of a soccer match from the TV at Mo’s and the multitude of conversations taking place throughout the restaurant. It was chaos – and I loved it!

While waiting for my food, I sent Porker a text to make sure that my new phone chip was installed correctly and received a message that he and the guys were at the Byrd Cage. After finishing my food, I headed over there to join up with the boys. This was my first time in the Byrd Cage as it had opened since my last trip and I rather liked the place. While the dancers were not overwhelmingly gorgeous, there was a relaxed but fun atmosphere about the joint. I greeted Porker, Bud and Icarus (who were all enjoying the delights the Byrd Cage offered), ordered a San Miguel Light and began to catch up with the guys. There were a couple of interesting girls, including one tall skinny girl whose face I put into my brain for a later return.

We then went to Tender Touch as they were having a celebration for Daddy Jerry's birthday. During this celebration, there was supposed to be a raffle in which they were going to give away such prizes as a moped and a car. As a semi-permanent resident, Bud was stoked about the possibility of winning a car. So we settled in and ordered some drinks. With each ladies’ drink purchased you received a raffle ticket. Speaking of the ladies, there were a couple of interesting looking girls including a big-titted “midget” who caught Porker’s eye with her above average sized mams. He tried to call her over, but she was having none of him. This girl was obviously smarter than she looked as she probably figured out (correctly) that Porker was going to ravage those big boobs.

So now it’s time for the first raffle. We lay out our tickets in giddy anticipation, but alas none of us won. The lucky winner was called onto stage to draw for his prize and, ta-da, he’s won a moped. However, that “moped” quickly turned into a “mop-head.” Literally, the guy took an unused mop-head off the stage as a prize. It didn’t take us long to figure out that the car being raffled off was probably match-book sized! With no other reason to stay, we bid farewell.

After leaving Tender Touch we headed across the street to Gecko's. The place was hopping and the girls were the best that I had seen so far. After settling down for a bit, I called over a girl named Manilyn. She has a very pretty face and a nice rack. She was a little meatier than I usually prefer, but did I mention the nice rack? Manilyn claims to be 19 and has only been working in Angeles for 3 months. (I heard that A LOT on this trip.)

After we had thoroughly molested a couple of girls the boys decided to go to Shadow Bar on Santos Street. Manilyn was looking good so I held back with the intention of barfining her. However, as we began negotiations, she let me know that she was menstruating. I don’t know if she was really menstruating or was menstruating because she didn’t want to go with me. It didn’t really matter as it was deal-breaker.

I headed over to Shadow Bar and was amused by the antics of the guys for a little while. After a beer, I decided to head out on my own to find a bed-warmer for the night.

First, I headed over to Bedrock. There were a couple of cute girls there, but nothing that made sparks shoot out my ass. After that I did a quick walk-through of Neros and Blue Nile. I don’t know why. I really don’t like these bars as they are too big. As you might expect, nothing caught my eye, so I headed back out onto Fields and started walking back up the street.

I finally went into La Pasha and found an old flame from my last trip and ended up taking her out. La Pasha Girl (LPG) is a BIG-titted waitress who I had a lot of fun with in July and we seemed to click back into the rhythm we’d developed back then pretty quickly. LPG has a cute face, a killer body that she hides well and a dry sense of humor that I enjoy. We went to eat shawarmas and headed back to the hotel. LPG is a good time in bed. I had a great view in the big mirrors that are beside the beds in the Swiss Chalet of her giant boobs swaying back and forth as I pounded her doggy-style. After a round of boom2, we showered together where LPG drained me again. I was done for the night. Two rounds of acrobatic sex and trying to get adjusted after the journey left me wasted. I was ready to crawl into bed and drift off to sleep with LPG when she informed me that she couldn't stay the night as she had to go to hygiene in the morning. This combined with the fact that earlier she had been pushing the “I really want to live in the U.S.” routine made it easy for me to say, “see ya.” She promised that she would spend the night later in the week, but I never gave her the opportunity. LPG left without a tip and I got a great night's sleep.

These pictures were taken last July. I would have to say that they do not flatter LPG. Although she is bigger than most, I think she's looking better now than then.

Photos: La Pasha Girl 23 24

Dammit... I got excited for about 5 seconds with the possiblity of a good big-titted “midget” + Porker tale. Good stuff though....

her above average sized mams

He's really understating things: Those tits were HUGE! HUUUUUUGE! And on this little tiny chick that couldn't have been more than 4'9" (she claimed 4-11, but NO WAY!). But while my vision was riveted on her chest, the girls onstage had some stupid dance move where they'd raise their arms and wave them every once in awhile, and she just looked straight out of some DORF video! I'm as PC as the next guy (and have posted about getting MASSIVELY turned on banging a deaf girl in TJ once), but seeing those little alligator arms just made me WRETCH! I did suck it up for a minute and figured "well, let's test her with a body shot!", but as E-A mentioned, she was far too smart for THAT! I'm sure she has spent many a night with raw nipples from guys gnawing on them for pocket change all night!

This is an excellent report so far. Amazing how your writing style and Porker's are almost identical, including the use of acronyms to describe your girls. Had I not known you met Porker and Bud, I would just assume this was Porker's new board name. Trust me, that's a compliment and Porker has written some legendary reports on this site that still make me shoot beer through my nose.

Blazers,

Thanks for the kind words.

I am not Porker, as several people can attest. I'm taller, balder, a few years older and much more of a pain in the ass. I did blatantly steal his idea of using acronyms for girls in order to try to protect these girls and myself from PLMs who would print off pictures/reports and go to the bars looking for them by name. Of course, they can still be found. But, as you know, these girls sometimes look MUCH different on stage.

I agree that Porker is/was a legendary report writer on this board. I, for one, would like to see him churn out a couple of new ones. Of course, he will claim that he doesn't do anything except g out, come back and nail the GF. I would suggest that he is an astute enough observer of people and spends enough time in SEA to pound out an awesome report. Maybe if an idea he planted in my brain (the bastard) comes to fruition this summer, we can meet up and he will then get enough material to bust out a new report.

EA