Where do I even start? One of the best parts was when, after months of dense-as-a brick entertainment from you, you claimed to understand every nuance that previously went way over your head. Oh, yeah, and every discussion of stats with me or Byron was classic. How did a thoughtful guy like you ever get past the third grade? Oh, yeah, now I remember. Athletic Scholarship.

Keep guessing about me. Watching your nervous, paranoid, off target attempts to figure me out are fun on this end, and actually some of your best attempts at humor. They reveal lots about you and your considerable weaknesses. One of your most charming fragile aspects is that you take everything personally, spitefully, literally. I'm sure that serves you well out there, working with real adults.

Also, I love it whenever you get flustered and post about me in 12 places on this site over a 2 day period. If you are confused and pissed off enough now that I've explained April Fools Day to you, why don't you post another 12?

Feel the... Oh wait, maybe you should take your thumb out of your ass.

What's your IQ again? LOL!!!!!!

And now for the rest of ya...

GO LAKERS!
(Last I checked, they were still the 3-time defending world champions. The fact that this fact eats at "S" is pretty funny. Lets see, S claims that the Lakers didn't actually WIN those championships. LOL!!!)

Anyway, I'm looking forward the playoffs. Lots of X factors make this a highly interesting post season in the West. New Jersey and Detroit might even bring some gloss to the eastern brackets. I think those are the only Eastern two teams who have anything resembling a decent record against teams from the west, and maybe some NBA exec can spin that in a way that makes the finals interesting.

I'll probably take a little time off to attend some of the Lakers playoff games, like I did last year. Three-time defending champs don't get too excited about the regular season, so they will predictably crank things up during the second season.

I was worried the Lakers might have to play Dallas in the first round, who they could dispense with easily when the chips are down. As it stands, it looks like the champions will have worthy opponents.

The best, classiest, championship-worthy team in the West besides the Lakers is the San Antonio. Other than that you have some highly talented whiners (Sac), criminals (Blazers), also-rans (Minnesota) and flukes (Dallas). If the Spurs and the Lakers meet at any point, that's probably the series that will determine the next champion. Sacramento has tons of talent, a dynamite offensive scheme, and Bibby, but as far as I can tell, their choke meter is in the red zone, rivaling the Mavericks and Blazers.

Exxxxxcellent! Let the anger flow ... come to the dark side. Hee hee. I'm giddy! So predictable ... like a puppet on my string.

For a supposed "smart guy," you sure are a dope. You should petition whatever college you really went to for a refund. I seem to remember challenging you to an IQ test ... ohhh, that's right, you don't do challenges. That fear of failure thing again?

See, figuring you out is not a problem ... you're any psychologists dream. They could make a fortune just working on that gargantuan inferiority complex of yours. But that's old hat ... I enjoy working on the good stuff inside your head. "... ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun ..." ;)

Ben,

(damn, my transitions are smooth today!)

I've come to the sick conclusion that 18 years from now I may end up fucking the daughter of a whore you fuck today ... then 18 years after that your granddaughter. The possibilities are endless. Hmmm ... now how could I stretch that out to include your great-granddaughter in the mix? Maybe hanging at Pollo will do the trick ...

Along the way I will most assuredly drive Bitchster to insanity, and claim his “whoring boots” as my trophy.

-Superman-

I would feel honored to know that my granddaughter fucked Superman.

Actually, I would feel honored to fuck an 18 year old granddaughter 18 years from now.

benwhobelievesinincest

"I would feel honored to know that my granddaughter fucked Superman. "

Sounds like you are Superman's bitch.

Grow up Dogster ... big kids share.

-Superman-

About 15 years ago I had a friend who had two daughters pregnant with no husbands and not sure who were the fathers. At the time Steve Garvey was around town with several women claiming he had impregnated them. My friend use to tell everybody that Steve Garvey was the father of his daughters babies.

I want to be able to say that Superman is the father of my Mexican grand daughter's babies.

THE 10-STEP GUIDELINE FOR FINDING OUR TYPE OF TRAIL BLAZER:

1. Must possess thorough understanding of the bail-bond process in 20 states and the District of Columbia. Team representatives are always ready to assist in Oregon, but response time may be slower in the NBA's other ports of call. Comprehensive knowledge of Ontario's criminal justice system recommended, but not required.

2. Proper representation. Players should have the digits of at least three legal attorneys who like to use the phrases "bogus search", "preposterous findings" and "if the glove don't fit ..." Added bonus if they have rappers on retainer.

3. Specialized public relations skills. Disrespecting apathetic fans in a half-empty arena won't cut it on this team. Players must be able to annoy and disenchant one of professional basketball's most loyal fan bases. Ability to appear ungrateful and entitled both in print and at community events (such as holiday charity benefits) a requirement.

4. A basic understanding of directions. i.e, must be able to turn to your left, turn to your right upon command.

5. Parenting skills. Must be willing to make statements like "we have to lead by example" and "this type of behavior will not be tolerated" and "if you do that again, I will beat the living crap out of you."

6. Possess knowledge of full array of hand gestures. Cursing in sign language an added plus. If you can flip the bird with one hand and slap a teammate with the other, sign immediately.

7. Must possess strong horticulture skills. Planting seeds in The Rose Garden is a team tradition.

8. The ability to roll a joint while cruising down Interstate-5 at 80 mph in a $50,000 Hummer. Added points if the player can come up with creative excuses for law enforcement on a moment's notice or have a medical prescription for glaucoma.

9. Must understand the phrase: "There is no We in Team."

10. An Ivy League degree is always helpful. How we found Chris Dudley, after all.

[From ESPN Page 2]

You are not alone in knowing the 4-peat in near. As a service to the others, why don't you re-post that incredibly accurate graph from a while back. That is a true classic. Can you put that on a t-shirt for me? Anyone who discusses Sacramento's regular season record in the context of getting a ring needs to STUDY your graph. Game 7, 4th quarter in sac, home team up by 16: maybe if they had had a better regular season record they would not have choked. Keep telling it like it is.

Oh come on! The drunkengraph is already half wrong. When the Lakers fail to win the title, it'll be a 100 percent failure. Given the author, a 100 percent failure is no surprise.

Even Dogster knows the Lakers are finished ... or maybe you missed his subtle (as a Shaq free throw) "out" when he praised San Antonio.

-Superman-

(Message edited by Superman on April 07, 2003)

-Superman-

Here's a likely playoff scenario the Lakers might have thought about: Currently, San Antonio trails the Mavs by 1/2 a game and 1 game on the loss column. If the playoffs were to start right now, the Lakers would play the Spurs, which would be a tougher match than the Mavs. If the Lakers beat the Mavs tomorrow, the Mavs will find themselves tie for 1st place with the Spurs who they are due to play in San Antonio on the 16th. Assuming the Lakers stay in 6th place and the game on the 16th determines who gets best overall record, then the Mavs will probably lose and play the Lakers on the first round of the playoffs. That's sweet for the Lakers who need to get into their playoff mood before they can take the Queens hearts on the second round. In conclusion, the Lakers will play to win tomorrow, but not as hard for the remaining games (i.e. rest) to stay in 6th and likely meet the Mavs on the first round, Queens on the 2nd round, and Spurs on the Western Conference finals. We'll see if that holds up.

jeez, they barely beat the grizzles on the road on a last second shot, and they needed OT to beat an inconsistent Suns team.... THE LAKERS ARE PLAYING LIKE A SIXTH SEED, not a one or two seed....I know they have the two most dominating players in the game, the playoff experience, the guru coach, but they dont have the depth on the bench, too much inconsistency from the reserve players... Worry about the first round oppenent first before talking about a finals matchup...

Happyboy you don't come across as very happy today. Of course the Lakers need to worry about the 1st round before they worry about the 2nd round and so on and so forth, but if they want to better their chances of winning a 4th ring, they need to think a little ahead and that's all I'm talking about. The Lakers are a team that was built for the regular season and their playoff record speaks for itself.

The mistake that many keep making is thinking that the regular season record is all that important to three time world champions. Phil Jackson's teams typically use the regular season to prepare for the post season, and then win when the chips are down. Jackson has been tinkering with the lineup, giving the younger dudes a chance to play. He already knows that the vets will be ready.

Also, the Lakers HAVE won about 3/4 of their games since X-mas. That's a pretty typical winning percentage for the Lakers.

If Rick Adelman allows his Kings to lose to a much inferior Laker team, he should be fired on the spot. The only time the Lakers beat the Kings this year was when the Kings were missing half of their team. This Kings team seems much more focused. They were better than the Lakers last year but Jackson always has and always will have the officials in his back pocket. Laker fans were crying how the Bulls got preferential treatment during their reign but now it's the Lakers whom benefit from such bullshit. With the Lakers on the brink of losing the series, the refs rewarded them with 27 free throws...in a quarter(4th). That's not whining, that's the facts. An additional difference is that Pedra was injured for most of the series. With him in the lineup, the Kings just have way too many weapons against a Laker team with two excellent players and a bunch of scrubs.

Blazers, mi amigo.

Let me re-write your post more concisely.

"Waaahhh!" - Blazers

or if you prefer

"Waaahhh! X 3"

Anyway, enjoy the playoffs...

Trailblazers,
Those 4th quarter free throws were not due to anyone having the refs in his pocket, but rather because 'hack-a-shaq' was employed as a pseudo-defense. when a team commits 12-15 intentional fouls in a quarter a whole lotta free throws are going to ensue. it is an embarassment that the league allows it and it backfires to boot as shaq steps up his free throw % in the playoffs. the refs don't like shaq or phil, and I sense they're starting to already get tired of kobe a bit, so find a new excuse; unless of course you haven't yet read Dogster's graph of the NBA, in which case cease whining and read the graph: it tells all.

I wonder how I would react if I were a Blazers fan. Maybe he can't help himself.

Great posts Curiousone!!!!
--Dogster, Sam, and others.

I'll have to get around to updating the graph. Yes, the Lakers portion of The Graph will look very pretty, with the Lakers not losing much since Christmas.

The Sixers portion of the graph (not particularly relevant), has been berry berry gooood too me, as it was designed to stimulate more obsessive rage and agony in the board's most prominent dumb-ass/non-statistician. As hoped and predicted, the dude has obsessively mentioned me in about 75% of his posts at this site, his veins bursting at the frustrational pressure glowing out of control within. “Superman”? Hell. He’s The Incredible Sulk, everybody’s favourite SuperZero. Verrry entertaining. I especially like it when he takes sports and political discussions at this site SERIOUSLY, a reflection of his value as a (hee hee) man.

The Sixer's portion of the graph won't look particularly interesting, despite the fact that the Sixers turned their record around following a vet acquisition. It isn't so much that the Sixers heated up as it is that the rest of the East sank. The Sixers've been scraping up victories in a division where the top teams’ probabilities of winning a game are only slightly better than a coin-flip. And, if you believe Charley Rosen (ESPN Page 2), Iverson is somewhat less selfish than in the past, actually managing to pass the ball on occasion.

Ahh, yes.... It is a great time to be a Lakers fan.

As the Lakers inch toward the 5 and even the 4 spot for the playoffs, it is important to emphasize that the actual seeding doesn't matter much. More important is that the team enter the playoffs healthy and sufficiently rested. All the elements for a 4-peat are in place (including whining anti-Lakers dudes who feel victimized) and the team's playoff afterburners are kicking in. Oh, did y'all miss that? To repeat--The team has been kickin' ass since Christmas, and has been peaking just as the playoffs are approaching.

ster

Lakers just better hope they can avoid San Antonio in the first round, or it will be a quick exit from the playoffs. Lakers are, contrary to Bitchster's statement, not getting any rest. Phil is desperately trying to keep his team away from SA, and they are probably going to play it down to the wire. Kobe's played 89 minutes in the last two games ...

LOL, Bitchster! You've never made me angry (okay, I sometimes get frustrated at your stupidity, but hardly mad. Sort of a "How can anyone be that stupid" kind of frustration). One day you will realize you are nothing more than a tool. I goad you into posting. You reply exactly the way I think you will. You come off as a moron. I laugh. You remind me of this little chick I used to work with who I manipulated into beginning and ending every sentence to me with "sir." You are, like her, entertainment.

-Superman-

Bwahaha... Frustrated, angry, stupid. I didn't invent those descriptions of you, in case you hadn't noticed. Your history re-writes are hilarious, designed clumsily to cover your less than quick thinking. Keep telling me about how smart you are, and about how YOU goad ME into posting. I love that part.

Phil doesn't do anything desperately, by the way. Zen, Baby!!!

"Less than quick thinking." LOL! It's appropriate here for me to quote a line from a really bad movie I saw last weekend ... "I can't think as slow as you if I tried." Loser.

-Superman-

Bitchster sed how YOU goad ME into posting. I love that part.

Me too ...

Superman 12/5/02: "The Lakers are done, close the fridge or whatever the dead guy used to say."

Bitchster 12/6/02: "A funny thing happened as I was thinking about responding to my friend Superman's "dead guy" post ..."

The good thing here is I actually get you to think. The bad thing is it doesn't help you all that much.

-Superman-

...Lakers predictably obliterate the Kings again this evening, 117 to 104... Ho hum. Looks like you are wrong again, “superman,” as usual. Who would’ve guessed? I'm looking forward to your brilliant (read: whining) analysis.

The funny thing here is that you actually think you are thinking.

Don't change.

Love,
Dogster

P.S. Sorry, “superman” manipulated me into posting this. Feel the power.

Lakers looked good, like they were fighting for their playoff position lives. Kings already won the division ... ho hum ... just as I predicted in my Sept 6 2002 post:

Lakers repeat is doubtful. Shaq will miss the first part of the season and get fat after toe surgery (whenever he finally gets around to it). He always starts the season out of shape anyway, and his eventual surgery will only exacerbate the problem. The Kings will jump out to a big lead and again have home court. Did I say "ho hum" yet?

Shaq cracks me up in the postgame interviews. Funny stuff. I'll miss that guy when he retires.

More funny stuff:

Doggie Doggie.mp3 (1024.0 k)

Superman Superman.mp3 (2453.4 k)

As for interesting analysis, I will try to break down Bitchster's starring role in each of the above songs ...

In song 1, "Doggie," we have a woman seeking a "doggie" (in this example Bitchster), to protect her loved one from the "robbers" and "scare them away with one bite." Now, anyone who knows Bitchster (outside of his bigmouthed "friends") must surely appreciate the cruel irony of asking him to protect the life a loved one ... enuff sed. To summarize: Count on Bitchster for protection = fatal mistake.

In song 2, the appropriately titled "Superman," Bitchster plays, errr, "the bitch." Here, "the bitch" seeks approval and affection from "Superman," the superior male. "The bitch" is desperate for any form of attention from the dominate male, and as such, keeps coming back for more abuse, no matter how many times Superman beats her down. Superman of course obliges "the bitch" by manipulating and controlling her into doing his bidding and keeping him "amused." The inferior "bitch" is so enamored with the mighty one that she accepts -- even relishes -- all forms of abuse from Superman.

The line "you want what you can't have, ooh girl that's too damn bad" is particularly relevant to the real Bitchster's relationship with the real Superman ... "the bitch" sees everything she desperately wants to be in the superior, err, "Superman," (oh so redundant!) yet she knows she will always be inferior. She therefore settles for any trivial bit of attention he gives her.

I could also explore "the bitch's" alcoholisim as an escape from her morbid reality, but I'll skip it because it's late and alcoholism is such an overdone subject.

Anyway, I tried ... but I'm a little out of practice. Oh well.

It does make me wonder though ... hmmm ... hey Bitchster, do ya think "she" should have gotten a doggie instead of a dogster?

Have I said 'Feel The Power' yet?

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

-Superman-

Lakers looked impressive, in true playoff form, Kings looked outmatched, outplayed, not focused, no defense, and 1 for 12 from three point range wont cut it.. No excuse for the Kings not to show up in the 2nd half, everyone is back and healthy, just give the Lakers credit... Kings are 11-2 in the last 13 games, only losses to Detroit on the road (going 5-1 in a east coast swing) and the lakers loss... It looks like the lakers could get the 4th spot in the playoffs, which means first round against possibly the twolves or the blazers, the lakers should win that series, then take on ... i think either the kings or jazz ,

"It's not mental with us. We don't have a mental block when it comes to them. That couldn't be farther from the truth,'' Webber said

Uh yeah Chris, and make sure you know how many time outs you have left.

I think it is mental and Lakers not only won, they made it look easy.

Superman, can you imagine your embarrassment if Lakers beat the Kings again in the playoffs?

I think it is time for you to apologize to Dogster.

It took the Lakers nearly 80 games but now they are in true playoff form.
Who really cares what happens in the regular season that is like pre-season to the Lakers

I am a big Iverson phan but he doesnt have any true impact players on the team. Its quite disapointing to me because he plays with true heart. The guy plays with like 16 broken bones and still scores 47 plus a game

It looks like the Lakers again this year.
San Antonio ----please ! Bunch of wimpy guys that belong on a monger website if you ask me

Go Lakers
Milktuff

San Antonio ----please ! Bunch of wimpy guys that belong on a monger website if you ask me

the spurs did SWEEP the Lakers this year, I know that the regular season means NOTHING, but that has to play in the Lakers heads.....

Ohhhhhhhh! Laker fans!!! Everyone talks about Shaq and Kobe doen their thang as they should but don't forget the rest of the team!! Devean George had 21 vs Mavs, Horry is playing like it's playoff time, and Fisher looks like the 2001 playoff version of himself! I hope Shaq gets 2 flat tires 16 times during the playoffs!!! Don Nelson, the Mavs coach told the press he thought his players were dumber than a rock for pissing Shaq off before the game in Dallas. I don't care if the boy scout (Mike Bibby) goes for 50 as long as we have an angry Shaq!! I gotta find out where Shaq is going to be hanging out so I can flat the tires of his car!!! We're one week away from the playoffs! I CANNOT WAIT!!

Ben,

Come on now. Quit trying to start trouble ... who really needs to apologize to Bitchster?
Ouch, Blazers over the Lakers. That sort of bit some Blazer-hater in the ass. In what was arguably the first important game of the season for L.A., they come up short to a team of misfits. Embarrassing. Lost in the embarrassment is the very reason L.A. won't win the title this year ... when everyone on the team clicks, they are pretty much unbeatable. Unfortunately, it is ridiculous to think everyone on the team will be able to click for 4 of 7 games against SA, Sac or probably even Dallas.

Sum lozer recently wrote "it is important to emphasize that the actual seeding doesn't matter much. More important is that the team enter the playoffs healthy and sufficiently rested."

Better tell Phil ... seems to me they are fighting for playoff position (errr, just like I said they were). Kobe has averaged 44.25 minutes over the last 4 games. Shaq has averaged 41.25. Someone should graph all the rest they're getting. I would, but I clearly don't understand stats.

Milky,

How are the Mets doing? I will check up on the Yankees in August.

-Superman-

Here we are just days from the NBA playoffs, some waiting for the seats to get stablished before placin their bets at Caliente, while others simply love watching the best athletes competing at their highest level. Get your seat-belts fasten because folks you're in for an exceptional playoff year. It's all about the West side as the J.V. tournament (i.e. East) features more parity than last year.
As you read this you might wonder if the Bucks' defense has any chance to stop anybody this post season? I say watch out for the Hornets because they're a hard team to beat in their home court and capable of winning on the road.
San Antonio finally lost to, funny enough, the Suns who they will play in the 1st round of the playoffs. I personally think the old men from Utah can give Sac-Town a scare, but my biggest concern in this match up is to make sure Malone stays healthy as we will need him 100% next year at Laker camp.
I'm always first an NBA fan before I'm a Laker fan just as much as I'm a pussy chaser before I'm a husband. Ok, boys and girls, I hope you win your bets and your team goes far into the post season.

P.S. Iverson in the Dream Team as he should be. The only question to ask is why was Bibby chosen before A.I.?

Larry King sez:

"God must be a Laker."

Jarocho,

The Suns owned San Antonio this season 3-1 with I believe the Spurs only win coming in a homecourt overtime game.

While they probably beat the Suns in a 5 game series, they are not looking forward to playing them in the first round. Yet San Antonio made the Lakers their bitches.

Funny. The Lakers hoping to not meet San Antonio early and San Antonio not wanting to meet the Suns early.

Just another reason to love playoff ball.

Baster you're so right my friend!! Spurs killed my Lakers during the regular season and the Suns are smiling just to be included in the playoffs!! You said the Suns not might win the series, but for money making purpose I would pick the first game to go to them. The toughest decision to make will be to pick up the MVP for the season as there are 4 guys who would clearly get it any other year.

-Jarocho

kinda odd how the no 8 seeds in the east (bucks) and west (suns) both dominated the respective no 1 seeds (detroit and SA)... Suns have been kinda streaky all year, but seem to be peaking at the right time.. Marion is ON FIRE, nba player of the week, and the Suns play real hard nosed defense.. I think the Spurs are going to be scared of the Suns.. If the Pistons get the top spot, they take on the bucks, i havent watched a lot of the JV league, but how did the bucks take three of four from Motor town??

Leave it to the Portland Trailchokers! Cuz of those losers, the Lakers get Minnesota instead of a certain first-round exit at the hands of the Mavericks. WEAK!!

Oh well, they are just prolonging their own agony.

-Superman-

"Oh well, they are just prolonging their own agony. "

LOL...thanks I really needed to laugh today!!

First Round Predictions

San Antonio over Phoenix
Minnesota over Los Angeles
Dallas over Portland
Sacramento over Utah

Detroit over Orlando
New Orleans over Philadelphia
Indiana over Boston
New Jersey over Milwaukee

My round predictions

San Antonio over Phoenix
Los Angeles over Minnesota
Dallas over Portland
Sacramento over Utah

Detroit over Orlando
New Orleans over Philadelphia
Boston over Indiana
New Jersey over Milwaukee

My first round predictions

Los Angeles over Minnesota
Los Angeles over Minnesota
Los Angeles over Minnesota
Los Angeles over Minnesota

Los Angeles over Minnesota
Los Angeles over Minnesota
Los Angeles over Minnesota
Los Angeles over Minnesota

LA tuff guys over wimpy T-Wolves, 'nuff seid!

I will not be so bold as to call Minnesota in a first round upset, but it would not surprise me in the least. Team that has never won a playoff series eliminating the 3 time defending champs ... that's not possible, is it? LOL.

Regardless, methinks Jarocho will not be laughing for long ;)

-Superman-

Oh, and Philly over Nawlins.

Fact that may only be interesting to me ... Allen Iverson became the first player in NBA history to lead the league in steals three straight years. Hey supasta, whatcha doin?

-Superman-

The only question to ask is why was Bibby chosen before A.I.?

Cuz corn rows frighten white america. It's as simple as that.

-Superman-

superstrangeman I always manage to laugh at anything you post :-) <-- see, thanks!!

God, I want Minnesota to defeat the Lakers in this fetching series...

I am so sick of the motherfetching Lakers and Phil motherfetching Jackson...

I have been thinking all week of an argument in favor of the Timberwolves, but have come up empty beyond relying on the unpredictability of professional sports...

Maybe Garnett goes crazy and gets 30 points and 20 boards all week, while inducing Shaq into perpetual foul trouble...

Pero, quien sabe?...Besides Dogster and Milkman, I mean...

YoungBrig

i think god is on the lakers side... again.. Shaq Jr was born today, which means the big man wont miss game one in minnesota, and the Suns stun the Spurs....again... with a 3 pt buzzer beater... the Spurs are basically in a must win situation for game two....the suns have won 4 of the last five meetings with SA... If the Suns can pull a stunning upset over the no 1 seed, the lakers will have an easy 2nd round matchup (HOME COURT ADVANTAGE) against Phoenix..

Attention NBA FANS!!!! Commish Stern has officially cancelled the rest of the NBA playoffs, and will award a 4th consecutive championsip to the Los Angeles Lakers.. Trophy ceremony will be in downtown LA tomorrow, with Madsen doing the white boy dance afterwards.. Thanks for your support and we will look forward to seeing you next year...