I just finished reading everyone else's responses to Ezy's report. While I was in BA a few weeks ago, I had plenty of time between "rounds" for conversation with the girls. There were a few questions I asked each of them ie. What kind of music they like, do they or what do they like to read, ...What is your favorite movie? Three of the four girls answered...you guessed it... Pretty Woman, and one of them teared up at the thought of it.

Yeah it is a hollywood fantasy, but don't kid yourself, some of these girls dream of that kind of scenario. I would guess more often than not that a lack of opportunity,or necessity forced them into the life, not the desire to sleep with 2 - 5 guys or more a day, sometimes fat slobs, sometimes abusive drunks, or the pure pursuit of money. If you were in their shoes would you want a different life?

EZE

Let me shed some background on the 3X rule. This comes from Ricardo, the owner of www.platynum.com.ar and www.escorts-argentina.com. He has been in this business for over 30 years, and has come up with three basic rules concerning working girls, which have proven true over time.

1. If the internet ad says she can speak basic English, that means she knows how to say “Your hotel, 200 pesos.”

2. Never see an escort or working girl more than three times, as after that they begin to start to ask you for money and gifts, and can become a drag. Worse, you can lose your heart to them. It is very easy to fall in love with these ladies, as they are beautiful and fun to be with.

3. Once a working girl, always a working girl. They love the sex or the money, or both, too much to leave it. As the girls get older, they may become a manager for younger girls, or will find someway to stay in the business.

I’ve broken the 3X rule myself, knowing full well the wild ride that could be ahead, and at the same time holding on to my heart. The rides have been good, and I still see some of these girls from time to time, and we still remain good friends. These girls are beautiful and a lot of fun to be with, but they know that my heart will not be lost to them. If you do marry one, you may be true to her, but can you trust her to not be with anyone else when things get a little stale? After all, she has spent lot of time in the business, and what’s another trick to pick up some extra cash?

There are exceptions to these rules for sure, and some even have happy endings. If you abide strictly by them though, your chances of getting hurt are almost nil.

Hang in there Ezy, we are all here for you.

Moondog

I'd suggest that those of you who have the belief system of "If you do marry one, you may be true to her, but can you trust her to not be with anyone else when things get a little stale?" should strictly follow 3x rules (or whatever it is called). Trust is central to relationships. There is no point pursuing relationship with a woman who you know you will never trust (because she is/was a prostitute).

I used to think that way. But, a girl made me change my mind.

Ezy.

This is a difficult one. You are operating on friendship and generosity, rather than love and passion. You want to help her. But, how far and how much? Only you can decide on this.

Ezy,

Don't you have any pride left in you?

You called this woman "a puta" and you had no intention or clear direction in your relationship with her. She took your money, fucked you over, and broke your trust. Doesn't trust mean anything to you even in just a simple friendship?

If she can't make it or support herself by selling her body, what makes you think whatever you provided her would help her make it in life?

Every monger is entitled to try establishing some source of relationship with these girls. But once the trust in that relationship is broken, please wake up, cut your losses, and face reality. What do you think she would do when the next Pablo come along and you aren't around?

Now, I apologize in advance for being so blunt and so harsh. But I don't do well when I see a fellow monger got hurt by a working girl. If you really want to help someone, why don't you take a stroll down that Santa Fe shopping lane and start your friendship with a regular beauty. There are thousands of Argentine women dying to meet a man with your generous heart.

Bottom line at this point, that trust is broken and this puta is history!!!

Sakebomb's message is blunt but true in so many ways. He is absolutely right. There are literally thousands of nice normal girls that could use money more than the "working girls" of Buenos Aires. I've met so many wonderful non prostitutes in Buenos Aires. Some online, some at the airport, some on the streets. I would much rather provide them with assistance than a working girl.

Ezy, in the end.... you need to do what makes you happy. Yeah it's good to get advice from like minded individuals sometimes but in the end you're the one that has to live with your decisions and your actions and you can then only congratulate or blame yourself. No matter what I know you'll continue to enjoy the wonderful city of Buenos Aires and it's beautiful women. Good luck amigo.

Marry her!!!

Many years ago, I was a stockbroker. A favorite stripper at a local tittybar was a sharp girl. She lived cheap, owned her own home, had roommates to help her with the mortgage, owned an old Camero that was paid for, and was banking all her extra cash. I invested tens of thousands of dollars for her, and made her some great returns. The loving was very good, and was gratis for several months.

Her stated goal was to get $250k in the bank and then retire. During our time together, she broke the $200k barrier and was going strong toward the $250 mark. I quit the business, and our relationship ended abrubtly thereafter

In the ensuing years, I would run into her. We'd talk about her life. Fully 10 years later, she'd had cosmetic surgery and was still "sweating to the oldies" on a leather couch in a dark bar.

Because we'd shared some level of intellectual intimacy in the past, she would level with me. "What else can I do that will pay this well?" At the very least, I respected her realism, if not the results of her surgeries. Nearing 40, she knows that she can't do this much longer. Her stated goal has now changed to "finding a benevolent gentleman in his 60's who will be a life companion".

Am I surprised? Not one bit. Does this lower my opinion of her in any way? No way. It has always been my opinion that the road to prostituion is a one-way street with no U-turns permitted.

That said, I confess that I have recently enjoyed going vertical with more than one honey. Breaking the 3x rule has it's pitfalls, and I'm fully aware of the dangers inherent therein.

Ezy, you have stated that you were helping someone JUST to help her. That is truly laudable. Gifts are best left as gifts, as BluesTraveller has previously stated. Giving her a gift with strings attached made the act of giving that much more complex. Consider making all future gifts or acts of kindness just that. Placing conditions on your act of goodwill set you up for a problem. Who is more disappointed here - you or her? Whose life is more impacted by the failure to meet the condition? Remember, it is she who has to live with the results of her choices, not you.

With no expectations, you'll have no disappointmnets on your behalf or hers.

Great thread going here guys. At least Ezy didn't try to remain celebate, or worse yet, get married to her!

Ah, thanks for your sage comments...All comments were seriously considered. Well, except Antonio's suggestion that I marry her. Sorry Antiono.
(To Sakebomb...no apology necessary. I asked for advice. No need to apologize for being direct. I appreciate people who tell it like it is).....Here is what works for me:

I had a dual relationship with this chica, each with its own set of expectations---"lover/friend" and "sponser/benefactor" in a plan for her to leave prostitution. This was simply too confusing.

1. The plan for her to leave prostitution was flawed for several reasons, which many of you noted.
A. The alternative type of work was too close to her former life...I liked the analogy of not putting an alcoholic to work serving drinks in a bar!

B. The plan was too much Ezy and too little favorita. I took a comment that she was ready to quit too seriously. In retrospect, I think it was more a passing thought than a deep conviction. Sometimes she wants to quit. Sometimes she enjoys the hell out of the excitement!

C. I gave her too much money. Instead of giving her the same amount as in her former life, we should have worked out a budget. I could have paid her basic expenses and she could have looked for a more traditional job to earn extra money. This would have been a better indication that she was committed to change. Also, not requiring more than a month-to-month commitment was a mistake.Too little commitment.

D. The expectations I had of her as a friend/lover were hard to seperate from the expectations I had of her as her benefactor/sponser.

So, I have terminated all financial support for her, effective December 1. I left the door open for the future, telling her to contact me again when she was serious about leaving her work in the night as she calls it. Perhaps we can work out a new agreement, more grounded in reality.

2. My relationship with her as a lover/friend has also been complicated at times. Sometimes she says one thing about what she wants/expects from our relationship, sometimes she says other things....to help clarify, this is what I have told her....

A. I don't want a girlfriend(pareja/novia) who is a prostitute and who is not serious about quitting.

B. She has been a great amante(lover), in the sense that she offers incredible sex and is fun to be with on trips or for nights on the town. So I am willing to continue to see her when I am in BA and free, possibly a night or two. But in a relationship without obligations or expectations.

....I went on to say that I would enjoy spending an evening with her living out her fantasy of picking up a chica in a boliche, (note to SFHomre...no 25peso Clarin chicas)retreating to my apartment for her to watch, snap fotos while I enjoy myself with my new friend.....perhaps one other night doing the things she and I enjoy....

Whoever said I sounded like a guy who has just been divorced was very much on target....I feel liberated, freer than I have in some time to just enjoy myself (not that I was ever wholly celibate, but I am much freer now to do what I want with whomever I want without constraint).

Thanks, again, guys.....and if you see flaws in my present plan, post away...I am probably too close to be objective.

A final note to Pablo....May you die a slow, painful death from some hideous disease.

EZY: Move one. If you meet her in Nov. you'll become victim to mind-games and sob-story.
Remember, you are in EZE to enjoy not suffer - she is the reason you are having heart-aches

Sounds like a good plan amigo. If you still enjoy being around the girl, have fun. The minute it turns less then fun, cut bait and set sail(old fisherman's saying, I'm the old fisherman). It may allow you also to achieve your original goal of simply helping someone you care about, course that will be up to her.

Hasta Luego

EZE

Ezy,

My three centavos...

"I left the door open for the future, telling her to contact me again when she was serious about leaving her work in the night as she calls it. Perhaps we can work out a new agreement, more grounded in reality."

This will be the door she will use with new plans, where her financial desperation will attempt to overwhelm your financal sobriety. The potential "new agreement" you hold out, I suspect, is not separate from the lover's interest on your part. She knows that and exploits it.

"I don't want a girlfriend(pareja/novia) who is a prostitute and who is not serious about quitting...But in a relationship without obligations or expectations."

These are contradictory sentiments on your part. She may go along with your plan, as she understands it, because it is necessary to continue her income. You are the principal source of income, her best customer ever. If she has to get involved in convoluted dramas and escape plans, she will. But be honest, the plans are designed primarily to meet your needs, not hers.

My suggestion would be to continue to see her for the good sex you enjoy together. Pay her for her time. Travel together. Do not introduce the financal sponsor angle or lover/novia angle again. You can have clarity in your relationship if you keep the cash and carry basis. You can be her best customer and her most important client, without sacrificing anything but the girlfriend illusion and the knight on a white horse dream. You will be a free man and she will be responsible for her own decisions. If at some point she becomes interested in leaving the business, it will come from her and she will have a plan that you will be a small part of. Likewise on the lover/novia business. If you are meant to be together as a pair, she will make decisions that support that. Right now she is saying one thing and doing another. Not surprisingly, the emotional pitch of her interest in you is coincident with a cut off of funds.

Lastly, I am amazed you have opened up this thread on this board. You are sharing a story that will benefit many, myself included. Thanks.

Nomar

Have to agree with Nomar. She WILL use your offer of a possible future deal to her advantage.

All you really told her is that she still has her hooks in you.

Good posts everyone.

Ezy I hate to bring up old scars but is this the same girl you pre-paid a while back and she never showed up again that trip? (forgive me if I'm thinking of someone else but I'm too lazy to track down the original posts)

Either way, I'd have to say walk.

Your 'suspicion meter' will be going off all of the time if you get back together. And the fact that she didn't like the guy and was happy he didn't want much sex and has a small dick has NOTHING to do with this. Yes, he acted dishonorably but she's only telling you these things (true or not) to mitigate what SHE did. It could have been anyone. In the overall scheme of things him asking was no big deal. SHE said yes. The fact that he's unappealing makes it that much more of a 'business decision'. If he was younger, better looking and eactly her type I might believe it was one of those things. This was about money.

Remember, when you catch someone cheating it just means that you caught then that time. Unless you can honestly tell yourself that it was a one-time thing and ignore the fact they were capable of it you're in for more trouble.

Personally, I'd tell her to keep the deposit money and have a nice life. As for the bills, ask her why she doesn't spend some of the money she got from Pablo on them.

Good luck my friend.

Good thing I left the message I had planned to send her in the "drafts" box of my hotmail....After reading Nomar's post I took out the "we can talk later" phrase, and after reading Citydude's and Bonvvnt's messages I started all over again....
Bonvvnt is right, this is the same girl. Also, I confirmed several other episodes when she took advantage of me in similar ways (amazing what you can find out when you become suspicious)....

My new message reads....espero que tu tienes una vida marvelosa....hope you have a good life!

I feel pained because when she was good, she was really, really good but at the same time when she was bad, she was really really bad. Sometimes the agony is not worth the ecstasy.

At the same time, I feel an incredible sense of relief....She zapped a lot of my energy, not to mention my money!!!

Thanks, guys....

BNVVNT...gotta go take a nap now, so I will be wide awake tonight during the DAWGS-Gators game....

Once this converstation slows down it will be moved to Off-Topic: -Relationships

There are other threads of this nature some of you may be interested in reading.

This thread has certainly generated a good bit of discussion, much of it excellent. It might have been even more interesting if "Pablo" had posted his defense.I can't really say that I expected that to happen though.....small balls usually go with a small dick....

Ezy,

If you haven't sent that email yet, you might revise it to read:

"Espero que tengas una vida maravillosa"

Telling her this is the most sensible thing I've heard on this thread. I'd have just said it a lot sooner.

hombrecito, damn, I would had to send a grammatically incorrect dump letter....ok, correction noted, made, and message sent...termino, finis.....(though I suspect there will be other chapters)

Great thread. Poignant discussion. I've been down this path before as well. DonGringo's story and comments are invaluable. I will remember that next time I fall for a girl(and I will, most likely, being the soft-hearted sucker that I am). UNCONDITIONAL gifts.

Ezy, thanks for sharing this with us. Best of luck.

I love fairy tales about honor (with happy endings however).

An amiga of mine quit the business two years ago without having any other trade skills.

I offered to help her while she got on her feet.

I ended up loaning her $6600 to pay her bills during a four month trial period.

Did she quit the business? No. Lasted 4 months.
Did I get my money back? Yes, 6 months later.
Did I take it in trade? No.
Strain the relationship? Yes.
Do I have sex with her now? No.

She proved how special she is by honoring her word to pay me back. With interest.

She was a diamond in the rough.

Don't give up on the chicas, but use your judgement and your gut feel. I was very lucky.

That's amazing Futbolito. You might just be the luckiest SOB I've ever heard of.

Futbolito, I have this addiction I need to shake. Could you help me too please? I will also pay you back with an interest, should I fail to quit my addiction to chocolates/sweets.

In all seriousness, that's an amazing story. What country was your chica from? Sorry it didn't work out for her but she was certainly honorable.

Ezy, it's easy to ignore one small episode after another when you're happy.

It's when you add them all up that reality sets in. Been then, brother. Moving on is best.

By the way gents, this thread has GOT to be remember for the 'best thread' award this year.

Futbolito if you got paid back you ARE the luckiest SOB I've ever heard of.

Ezy, if you want go to chat during the game. It'll be easier to rag you play by play rather than all at once after it's over!

One other thing...

Pablo probably doesn't want to tell his side of the story under his usual handle. Hombre, how about creating a 'pablo' ID so he can post it under that? He can remain anonymous and we at least get to hear his side...

Not that it matters. Ezy is doing the right thing no matter what Pablo's reasons. Dishonorable or not he might have done you a favor.

bonvvnt...I tried to have it out with her while I was in BA, but she and I were on the couch together, with her legs across my lap...she kept distracting me by doing some amazing things with her toes...kinda like hitting me below the belt! Anyway, we got to have one last rousing session...and my resolve is much stronger 5000 miles away with my crotch untouched.....

bonvvnt....I would be interested in hearing Pablo's side of the story, but as to whether he is dishonorable....well, that he is without honor is unquestionably true (though I may be somewhat biased)

Here are the "facts":

1. Pablo contacted me asking for information about Argentina, since this was a new mongering destination for him.

2. We exchanged numerous emails regarding tourism, culture and chicas. I freely and gladly took my time to help orient him as I have with others and as other hombres have done for me when I go to new destinations.

3. After numerous exchanges, I explained that I had had a close relationship with a chica for over a year. I had intense feelings for her, to the point that when I was in BA I spent almost all of my time with her. I had no plan to be with her forever, but I had offered to help support her financially until she could prepare herself for a new occupation. This offer was based upon her express desire to quit work as a prostitute. I went on to say that if I could look back in a few years and conclude that I had helped someone who felt trapped in an occupation to find a better life, that would be my reward.

4. Pablo expressed a desire to find a chica to travel with him to various parts of Argentina. His preference was to spend quality time with one or two chicas rather than a little time with a lot of chicas. After talking with my favorita, I offered to Pablo the possibility of her introducing him to some of her friends and showing him around the city when he first arrived in exchange for whatever payment he thought was fair.

5. He volunteered that he had used a similar service in Costa Rica and had found it very helpful. I told him very specifically that it was my desire to help her leave the field of prostitution, again based upon her stated desire. So, I had no interest in serving as her pimp. If he would agree that if I provided him her name and contact information he would respect this arrangement and use her only as a means of orienting himself to the city/culture and for him to meet her friends and not as his sex partner/prostitute.

6. Pablo responded that he had helped girls in similar circumstances on several continents...Russia, Viet Nam, and Costa Rica...and understood fully the circumstances which he would, of course, respect. He went on to say that where he lived in Asia sex was available on virtually every corner for very little money, so this was not a motivating factor for him. Further, that he did not like to confuse issues by adopting dual roles...if he was with someone as a guide, she would be his guide and nothing more. He would keep this seperate from his mongering activities. Since this was favorita's first experience in the field of tourism, he volunteered to provide her tips along the way about how to be succesful.

7. Pablo went on to say that he understood fully my deep feelings for my favorita...and had a specific word to describe these feelings....he found what I was trying to do for her admirable, and hoped he could be of some small help. I thanked him for his understanding. Based upon his word that he would respect this arrangement, I provided him with her phone number and email.

8. She met him at the airport with a driver, as planned. She took him around town and introduced him to several of her friends for him to interview as potential travel companions.

9. Apparantly none were to his liking, since she phoned me just before he was to leave Buenos Aires for a tour to Iguazu Falls to say that maybe she had misunderstood him, but she thought he had told her he wanted to take her either instead of or along with one of her friends. Because there was the possibility of some misunderstanding she asked me not to say anything to him. As I said in an earlier post, to this point whenever I spoke with her about how things were going there had been an unmistakable excitment in her voice...I am doing something other than selling my body and getting paid for it!....This is great.

10. Favorita was not available by phone or email for the next 3-4 days which struck me as odd, given that this time coinceded with Pablos trip out of town and her account of what she thought he was asking. When I spoke with her the next time, she was evasive and the excitement was gone from her voice. I sensed something was amis, but preferred to wait until I saw her in person to discuss the issue with her.

11. I did, however, phone Pablo at Art Suites. He told me of his great trip to Iguazu....but that he had found his date, one of my favorita's friends, a bit of a disappointment, blah, blah, blah. All of this was, of course, a blatant lie.

12. He emailed me several other times and phoned me upon his return to the states to thank me for all the help I had provided to him...making his trip one to remember, etc. He went on to say that while his relationship with my favorita was simply as a friend, he could see why I would think she was so special...blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, in his conversations with her he was professing his love and hope that she would be discrete about what she told me. Add hypocrite to liar.

I doubt that Pablo could or would dispute these facts. About the only defense that I could imagine he might offer is..."your favorita was so much more intelligent and fun to be with than her friends that I could not resist latching onto her for the duration of my trip...after all, I am here to satisfy my needs....my word, be damned, if you were stupid enough to believe me...that's your problem..."

or possibiltiy two...."what's the problem? you weren't here. I was. I took nothing away from you....you enjoy her when you are here...I enjoyed her when I was here...."

I emailed him to express my feelings of betrayal, without specifying how much I knew...His response was (and I parahprase)...Wow, "Golly, if I did anything to hurt or offend either of you, I am so sorry".....I will not share the particulars of my response to him, but it was fairly pointed and made it clear that I knew he had violated our agreement. I have heard nothing since. No suprise.

Let me repeat what I have said before...had Pablo gone to favorita's boliche and picked her up, she would have been fair game. That's the nature of that setting and is expected. But to gain entre to her under the pretext of wanting/expecting nothing more than a guide...and to exploit the situation to use her as a prostitute is totally without honor.

I think that very often our future destiny turns on small decsions.....had Pablo honored our original agreement, favorita might have found enough financial incentive and behavioral reinforcement in doing something other than prostitution to pursue a different life. That he used her as a prostitute merely confirmed what she already suspicioned, that this is what and who she is in life.

We all make our own beds in life, so I do not hold him totally responsible for her decisions. In this sense, bonvvnt, you are right...he did me a favor. But his total disregard for his word and his shallow manipulation of people to meet his needs without regard to the consequences for others, is without excuse. I shall miss her. It will hurt for awhile, but I will recover. Pablo I will loathe forever.

The real loser in this little drama is favorita. I have been her benefactor and/or most important client for over a year. She will have to spend a lot more time on her back to earn the same amount of money and whatever hope she had of escape is now gone...at least for the time being.....I feel for her and her family. This is both the consequence of her actions and Pablo's abuse of his agreement with me...in a real sense he can share responsiblity for having returned one of the best prostitutes in Buenos Aires to her rightful place in her boliche. Depending upon your perspective, you can thank him or blame him....

She was from Tijuana, Mexico.

Yes I am very lucky, but that means good and bad.

My other fairy tales are much more Grimm.

Ezy:

If you want to be her friend, don't sleep with her. If you want to be her husband, you had better accept her background. If you want to be her boyfriend, you need to stop paying her.

futbolito...you are fortunate. Congratulations.

I don't want anything from her any longer. My relationship with her is over.

I never wanted to be her husband. She was my friend and lover (as opposed to fiance). It is not her background, but her present behavior that is of concern. I stopped paying her some time ago. As long as she was working regularly, when I was in town I saw her as she had time apart from work. The financial arrangement I had with her recently was so she could change lifestyles and stop working and was based upon her expressed desire to get out of the business.....Obviously, she is not ready to quit.

Ezy,

"I think that very often our future destiny turns on small decsions.....had Pablo honored our original agreement, favorita might have found enough financial incentive and behavioral reinforcement in doing something other than prostitution to pursue a different life. That he used her as a prostitute merely confirmed what she already suspicioned, that this is what and who she is in life."

I'm sorry man, but that's garbage. What part about Ricardo's 3rd rule didn't you understand? You're trying to justify what you did by saying if Pablo had just not done this, that you may have "saved" your favorita. The truth is that she was a working girl before you met her, while you knew her, and will be after you're gone. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your favorita being a prostitute. You're not a white night and you'll never save anybody.

I think Pablo is an asshole and it's shitty what he did to you, but he's not the root of your problem. The real problem is that you broke the 3x rule and were paying a prostitute a lot of money not to have sex. Now you're suffering the consequences.

I don't mean to come down hard on this, but I think you're living in some fantasy with this favorita. Believe me, I've been there. I had similar delusions with a Tica once. I obliterated the 3x rule and I was going to save her. I sent her some cash from the US ($50/month), was looking into getting her in school, etc..Then one day she hit me up for $1200. What do you think my first thought was? That it was a scam? To tell her to fuck off? NO-It was what bank I was going to go to and whether to cash in Travelers Checks or use my ATM card. Only after thinking about it awhile did I start asking questions and I then said no. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but it was a turning point. It was very difficult, but I had to accept that my Tica was no different than any other prostitute, that I wasn't going to save her, and that my actions created my problem.

The 3x rule is maybe the best advice for us on the site. Pretty much every time you go over 3x or get involved with a working chica, you'll be putting yourself in a situation that will ultimately have a negative outcome.

HC1

Ezy - the entrance to the path that leads a chica to prostitution is easily marked. The exits off the path are few and far between.

These exits are generally:
pregnancy & child rearing
looking too old to be marketable
disease and/or illness

On my first monger trip ever, I sat beside Marlena on the internet computers at the DelRey in Costa. I helped her translate letters from her novios via www.freetranslations.com. I watched as she responded to SEVERAL emails from guys who were sending her money. She would thank them dearly and then ask for more, ending each email with "I cannot wait to be with you again, my love". I've never forgotten that.

Why do you think this thread is so long - because you gave too much from your wallet or from your heart? The real issue with you is not the money - you make enough to where you'll not miss what you gave her - what's lost is your heart. And you think Pablo is even a little bit to blame? Wake up man! If her resolve to leave the biz was any stronger, she'd pick herself back up and just keep on trying.

Permit me to be blunt, buddy. Turn the white horse out to pasture. Enjoy the hobby for what it is. Be generous and gracious to those who you feel deserve it, but HOLD ON TO YOUR HEART.

I think everything in life is a learning experience. Ezy, as long as you can learn from this experience it will make you a better and stronger person.

The thing to do from here is to move on. Forget about your favorita, forget about "Pablo". Think about all the other wonderful girls in Buenos Aires.

I think DonGringo says it best when he says to "HOLD ON TO YOUR HEARTS". I might be one of the nicest guys in the world but I'm very very realistic when it comes to these working girls. I've dated hot hot US escorts, strippers, etc. and I ended up breaking up with all of them because of their lifestyle. It's too hard on a guy's heart to think about someone you truly care about sleeping with other guys.

I talk to a few girls from the clubs from Buenos Aires like many of you do with other girls you know in other cities. I don't care what you think about how nice a girl is. How sweet she is. How "different" she is from all the other girls you met. There is a good chance she is playing you at the same time as another guy. I can't tell you how many times I'm on webcamera with one of my amigas. Often times she has girls at her apartment from Playwoman, Black's, et. al. Many times I'll have them on speakerphone while I'm watching them on camera. I'll hear them talking about all these American "suckers" that they got to give them money.

Sometimes I even see them sharing business cards and laughing saying things like..."yeah this one paid me $500 US". I think if some of you guys could see images like this you would think twice about helping out financially.

I posted this in another thread. I look at sex as any other valuable commodity no different than gold, silver or diamonds. The price centers on supply and demand, it's a valuable resource and there will always be people that get conned by these precious resources. Yes, sex is a human interaction but don't get too confused with your emotions guys. I wish I could save the world too but it's not realistic. The best I can do is help out each chica a few hours or a night at a time.

Good luck all.

Ok guys, I get the point. We have met the enemy and he is me! The new me is emerging....

chicas...3x's and you are out...

hombres...you want info about chicas I know? I laugh in your face!

I am steel.

ezywhohasnoheart.

ps. Pablo, once the knife is surgically removed from my back would you like it returned?

Ezy,

In the post above, you said:

>ps. Pablo, once the knife is surgically removed from my back would you like it returned?

Amigo, please forget about him and move on. You are too good of a guy to be dwelling on this.

Moondog

Moondog, where I live many a pick up truck sports a Forgit, Hell!! bumper sticker, referring to the War of Yankee Aggression (Known in California and throught the North as the Civil War). I will move on and have no intention of wallowing in this mess...but forget?...nah.....true to my heritage, I have a long memory....sometimes this serves me well...as when I learn from previous mistakes which I do not repeat.

See ya later this month. No discussions about Favorita or Pablo....I promise....Only new chicas and the good life in BA....which reminds me, I have submitted an offer to lease an apartment. Since I won't be supporting a chica any longer, I can afford a nicer place! A silver lining, I suppose....sonrisa...

Forgiving both of them is your best resolution.

You will be able to sleep much better at night.

That doesn't mean you should forget what happened.

This was a lesson from the school of hard knocks.

Life is too short to waste, so go enjoy yourself.

And judging by this thread, you are not alone.....

Futbolisto, I agree wholeheartedly that anger and resentment will lead to sleep loss and all manner of other physical and emotional problems....I will let it go and move on....but,no, I won't forget and in his case, I am not ready to forgive....

But this does not mean I intend to let it consume my life either....

CONCLUDING COMMENT

When I come on the Board I tend to migrate toward my destinations of interest. I rarely read posts from areas outside of South America, especially Buenos Aires.

One of the things I have enjoyed as this thread has evolved has been the opportunity to read comments from a number of mongers with whom I rarely if ever interact. There are clearly a number of very intelligent, insightful guys here who hang out in different parts of the world...many of whom have learned their lessons the hard way, regardless of destination!

Another of the things which I have really appreciated is the support received from those of you who are a part of my circle of BA friends.Support does not always mean agreement. I especially appreciate those of you who told it like you saw it...I respect you for your honesty. Gracias, guys.

I would love to continue chatting, but I gotta get ready for my next trip to Buenos Aires. There are girls to email and phone, reservations to be made, rent for an apartment to be negotiated, etc....

EZY...Smile. You are getting ready to have 1X with a new, gorgeous BA chica. I'd call that a pretty lucky hombre.....!

ENJOY!


Sandman

Is that the right attitude or what guys?

Well said, Sandman! More fish, another bus, etc.

Sandman, thanks for the kind thoughts.....but why did you use the singular "chica" ? sonrisa.....

Atta boy EZE...now U R thinking!

These posts were moved here from the TripReports section

Clarification: Several guys have emailed me to ask if the hombre without honor referred to in my post is the guy who uses the handle Pablo on the board. NO. Categorically no.

Sorry Pablo for any misunderstanding. If there are future posts I will call a spade a spade and simply use the offending SOB's handle......

I'm going to be a SOB and extend this thread out some MORE....

First of all, my sympathies to you, Ezy, and congratulations for having (hopefully) finally shaken off your "favorita" and some of the misconceptions you were laboring under. We all make mistakes in life, what's important is that we learn from them. I think the most important lesson for you (and all of us, especially ME!) is not so much what happened as the amount of rationalizations and self-induced mind fucks you made. 'I left the door open for the future"... "I told her I wanted a gf who was not a puta"... etc, etc.. Fortunately, some of the hombres here on this site threw some cold water in your face long enough for you to take a deep breath and do the right thing - tell her "have a nice life!" and move on. Don't feel bad, one way or another, we've ALL been there - rationalizing, pretending, not wanting to let go of our stupid fantasy constructs. Then KABOOM! and we start all over again... all a part of life....

I want to throw out a little idea for this thread and the hombres, specifically as relates to our relationships with the "girls" - be they pro's, semi-pros, non-pros that sometimes recieve our monetary "support", mistresses, etc.. Brazilians have a fantastic concept called "amizade colorida" - Colorful Friendship. Basically it means that you're friends, but you fuck. Not lovers, not boyfriend/girlfriend, not "noivos", just friends.... but you fuck. Fucking adds the "color" to your friendship. First of all, it's the answer to the eternal question of "can men and women be just friends without sex?" - of course not, let's fuck! Second, it covers a wide range of possibilities... garotas de programma that you go out with to dinner or "dates" or even long weekends, etc.; that chick you know from college that you discuss Kirkegarrd with and then fuck; girls that you give an occasional "present" to in return for sex; a mistress who you provide for; fucking your boss's secretary (my present kick...); your buddy's brother-in-law's sister that you occasionally fuck (actually that would be your buddy's wife ;^D ); whatever. The important point is that it's all in good fun, there's no emotional ATTACHMENT involved, and it could all end in an instant, but it's fun while the ride lasts. In a way, it's an extreme form of mental compartimentalization (how do you spell that??) - THESE relationships are for "serious," i.e. eventually leading to love and marriage - and THOSE relationships (amizades coloridas) are for FUN. And never the twain shall meet. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER..... EVER.

The "amizade colorida" attitude works great when you are flirting with breaking Moondog's wise 3x rule... we're having an "amizade colorida", I like being with you, Kid, if you need an extra $200 for baby's new shoes, here it is (if I've got it/want to part with it), no questions asked, now let's get back to bed! No strings, no expectations (except to maybe tell me beforehand before she breaks off a date - common courtesy still applies), no hard feelings when it's over. Gotta love a catholic country, everyone is so good at being a hypocrite! (before you ask, yes, I'm a catholic) On a side note, why do you think Brazilian girls love it up the ass? So they don't lose their virginity before they get married!!! I've had any number of gf's who wouldn't let me fuck them in the front... Anyway, guys, take mongering for what it is - fun in the sun. Sure your interactions with the "girls" may lead to something - but that something is an "Amizade Colorida." Enjoy it for what it is.

EZ, un abrazo a ti, hombre...

BS

BS,

Great post. You are right, you can't be friends without the sex.

Enjoy the life,

Moondog

Good point! In Colombian the concept is called 'estamous bien'. We like each other, we fuck, we're friends, we're not exclusive.

It works!

"Estamous bien" = "We're cool", I like that! I'm still trying to teach the concept to a few American girls.....

For what the story is worth, and to show that I'm also a sentimental fool, here's my own latest attempt to be a good Samaritan... this past August, in Ceara, northeastern Brazil. Long story short, I hooked up with a very cute 21 year old in a little beach town outside of Jericoacoara. Nice girl and we had a few good nights together..... of course, she had a kid, and of course you could practically see the little gears working in her head thinking about getting herself a ticket to the States, and of course, she had got herself the kid when she was 19 and skipped out of town with her then boyfriend to try for a "better life" in Sao Paulo... unlike most of girls who do the same thing, she didn't wind up in a 3rd-rate boite along Av. Augusta peddling her ass, rather she came back home to live with her mom (dad is dead) and raise her kid and was taking some technical school courses, but she didn't know what the hell she was going to do with her life, everybody in town is either a fisherman or married to a fisherman and there are no job prospects, technical school course or not. She was kinda thinking of heading back to the big city... etc, etc.

In the meantime,she was earning petty cash by running errands on her little Honda motorcycle - going to the nearest town with a grocery store, getting supplies for people, running them back. What? how come there's no grocery store in this town? 5,000 people and no grocery store?!? Nobody has enough money to buy up a stock of groceries big enough to start a store... Hmmm, my little capitalist mind kicks in, we can fix that. How much are we talking about? About $200... (I was asking the local barowner, not the girl!). So I sat down with her mother.... "Look, you know the best thing for your daughter and your grandson is for her to stay here with you, right? You know what is going to happen to her if she heads for Sao Paulo or Fortaleza, right? You want her to stay here, and except for lack of job, she says that SHE wants to stay here, right? Well, here's what we're going to do..."

Bottom line, everybody's happy. $200 is about a year's savings for them, it's a night out with the boys for me. I was very upfront about it - there's no strings attached, I'll probably never see you all again. Use it for booze and new curtains, I don't care, that's your problem - not mine. I'm giving you an opportunity, what you do with it is up to you. The only thing I asked is if they DO open a grocery store that they consider naming it "Tenda do Saci" (it's my home socccer team's mascot). Maybe there's a Tenda do Saci today, maybe there isn't. Maybe I was a patronizing bastard, certainly I turned a fantastic free fuck into a $200 fuck (nothing more expensive than a free fuck). I feel I did the right thing, but I did it purely because I could and because in this world of uncertainties it was a pretty obvious solution. So far I haven't written or called (to the one community phone in town), but I probably will in a few months, just to see what happened. Hopefully, Mom, cute girl, and grandson are all well.

So there's my horrendous confession, I'm a sap too - just more realistic, tighter with my wallet, and I expect less. BTW, the "local barowner" was a chick... about 24 years old. I was fucking her in a hammock about 3 hours after making my tearful goodbyes to cute girl #1 (her tears, not mine). Once a monger, always a monger... ;-)

BS

Ah yes, I've been guilty of this myself.

I call it the 'El Padron' syndrome. Expect nothing but a good feeling. And hope you really did make a difference.

BTW: If you stick around to see the results, you interfere with the experiment...

Damn, life is good.

Moondog