Good point Deeg; Grey pubic hair is a turn on.

Makes me want to return home and get some of that "good lovin".....


OH wait, there is a knock at my door. 19 year old rubia (yeah her Deege). Maybe I'll wait another month or so....or so...or so!

BaddaBoom....

Badseed I shit my pampers - (Turkey) - lolol

Turk with all respect I think it is wrong preaching about how these guys need to pay for sex. Duhhhh This is what this site is about. This is not ClubTuffGuy.com it is a site for guys to share information and help others out with the hobby.

It sounds like you are scolding or poking fun of others for enjoying their hobby which is wrong.

So I guess that answers my question, no one has met Mr perfect

Guys, I have seen the light. Turk may be on to something here.

Yesterday my GF brought her best friend out to spend the day on the boat. The best friend is available, braziliera and here in the USofA. The old DonGringo would've wanted to tag the best friend, but I've turned over a new leaf. Instead, I asked her if she would like me to help her find a nice guy here in America?

Her response? 'Sure! but only if you think he's nice!'.

So here's the deal guys. I will introduce you to her if you're 'nice'. She's 32 years old and from the southern part of Brazil. Inbox me.

DG,

And where was your namorada's best friend the other night?

Oh well, the nice guy part would have probably tripped me up anyways.......

I guess that leaves me out but thanks anyway DG.
If you ever know one up in San Diego that wants to be with a poor broke tuff guy, look me up

Sorry double post.
Admin please edit out
thanks
Milkstain

(Message edited by milkman on May 24, 2004)

Nice boat....

Available looks pretty nice too. Have you mentioned "Dupla" yet?

Sandman I'm not sure if a Dupla with you and Milky is what she had in mind, but I'll mention it to her.

DeeG

PS
Watch your back with Milky in the room - that boy may have 'issues'.

Milkman,

You should be posting in the TERMAS section, shouldn't you. Do you make the rules here? There are definitely hombres here who, like me do not like paying for sex. It is a golden rule that I live by. That's the way it has been for me.

It requires investing time, learning Portuguese, and getting out there among the natives. I have no problem if you criticize me. My main complaint has been those who "crossed the line" of common decency and respect. When you insult me personally, make my personal business your business, insult my girlfriend and her friends then you have crossed the line.

Milkman, I have nothing against you. If you want to have fun, get laid every hour on the hour, visit every terma in Rio, get drunk and do whatever else you do, I don't have a problem with this.

But, don't think for a minute that I do not have a right to campaign for other hombres who visit Rio to take in the culture, get to know the people, actually mingle with the Cariocas and get introduced to more friends, and I am not just talking garotas da programa, then you will experience a whole different treatment.

So I will do what I do, and you can do what you do, but--don't cross that line. Okay. Have respect for me and I will respect you and you won't receive any emails from me putting you in your place.

that's all that I ask.

Dongringo,

Nice work introducing your garota friends to some Americanos. Just what I have been preaching. And you notice that she said she wanted only a nice guy. So I hope you nice hombres out there will contact dongringo. Only nice guys, of course. Maybe you will find that garota who will introduce you to a whole different world and then you will understand that you won't lose any honor among the hombres here. No one is going to stand up and call you a coward to the monger cause, at least I hope they don. And if you do fall in love with the mysterious garota, and someone blasts you for this, I know you will come to her defense like I have with my Brasileira.

Coffeemaker,

I think you may have have seen the light and gone over to the other side. You can only go to those termas so many times, before it starts to set in. You sit in there after your third or fourth beer, waiting for a #9 garota to show up, and she's in the cabine with a long waiting line. The smell of cigaratte smoke, sweat, tanning lotion, beer and cum from the cabines. The sound of the cash register going sha ching, sha ching as you leave the terma to grab a cab and return to Meia Petaca. I don't see much fun in that. Go out to some of the bars and boites in Leblon or Botafogo, eat some good Brasilian food, take in the beach in Barra da Tijuca and meet some native cariocas. So many great Brasileiros. Nothing wrong with that. You might just meet that special someone and you will be posting here campaigning just like I am. ha.

>>>The smell of cigaratte smoke, sweat, tanning lotion, beer and cum from the cabines.<<<

Turk5555,
Are you sure your experiences are not with the gay termas?

Turk, how much money do you send down to Cristiane every month? If you arent sending any why didnt you say so several days ago when the question was posed to you?

"sha ching sha ching"

GCL,

Sha Ching was a pretty nice girl, although I personally don't care too much for Chinese girls. But, when in Hong Kong, fucking one did seem like the thing to do!

Turk still cracks me up! This bullshit is priceless.

I personally like Chinese girls and hope to make it back to Hong Kong one of these days. Catocony, any chance you could give me Sha Ching's number?

I have a MAJOR EARTHSHATTERING ANOUNCEMENT to make. Today, I had another meaningless and ultimately unfulfilling experience at a Sao Paulo casa (I will give the address and other details in an update to my LAguy's Sao Paulo Ins and Outs report, in the unlikely event any you have not been swayed by Turk5555's compelling arguments and still are doing the Sha Ching circuit). The garota was probably around 21 or 22 years old, very attractive and friendly, let me come twice and actually liked being fucked in the ass and having her photos taken throughout the session. HOWEVER, when I tried to discuss the meaning of life with her, she was totally inadequate and intellectually unstimulating; dreadfully, she demurred from the discussion and insisted on sucking my dick instead. But MOST SIGNIFICANTLY, as I was getting ready to leave, I was forced (to the tune of Sha Ching) to depart with 90 reais of my hard-earned money, a loss that is oh so hard to justify. Needless to say, I had an epiphany, one that may change my life.

Why, I asked myself, should I be spending such large sums on such meaningless experiences, when I could, FOR FREE, fuck Gilda in the ass, no questions asked (and no Sha Chings)? This revelation was much like a religious re-awakening, indeed I believe I HAVE BEEN BORN AGAIN!! Of course, I do not pretend to be the first to have experienced this conversion from meaningless sex to a higher calling (many of you will remember Larry Flynt's similar conversion) but this may be the first such conversion on this board. For this, I say, thank you Turk5555, and you the man!!

P.S. Catocony, I am sorry for bothering you about Sha Ching's number. That request was made before my epiphany. It is now unnecessary for you to respond to my crass request, and I apologize profusely for posting it.


(Message edited by LAguy on May 29, 2004)

LAguy,

I don't remember her number, but the only English she seems to know is "me so hor-ny, I luv you long time". I'm sure once you're back in Hong Kong, you'll be able to spot her.

I can't wait to do Gilda in the ass either. She totally bought my bullshit story about being a salesman for a chemical company, I just hope to keep the ball rolling and she believes my vesectomy story so I can fuck her sim comisihna. Then again, quite a few putas, er, I mean sweet, innocent 30-something brasileras who get pimped out on US Internet whoremongering discussion boards tend to offer bareback with little prompting anyways!

Catacony and Laguy, You have it all wrong about doing Gilda in the ass. I can asure you that that type of language would not have gotten you an introduction. I pretty much screen through all those who responded and only one guy made the final cut.

I understand from the latest reports that they have seen each other pretty much all last week. I think it is a feeling out period, which you hombres would not appreciate.

I could just imagine the horror of introducing either one of you putos to her. Gild has several brothers, and they are all big fucking dudes. If either one of you had tried something disgusting as you have posted here, not even your families would know why you suddenly disappeared.

Having said that, there are plenty of decent hombres here who appreciate the value of a relaciomento serio. Those of you who post here, apparently have nothing to contribute, but to insult and mock me.

In closing, I think both of you are worthless scumbags, without any class and manners whatsoever and you have nothing to contribute, except bar and terma stories which do not interest any of the hombres on this topic.

Why don't the top of you go back to the Termas topics and post your shit there.

GLC,

I have already told you not to barge into my personal business, but you apparently don't listen too well. I have absolutely no interest in being interrogated by you. I don't intend a sngle second more conversing with putos like you. If you think that because you are a monger this holds any special status, all I can say is moscas have more status. You can join Laguy and Catocony in the cabine waiting line at the terma of your choice.

Sha Ching, Sha Ching

http://www.costofsex.com/
http://www.costofsex.com/cost_of_getting_laid.html

Old conclusions, but still funny

Habana

Well, Turk, that puts another complexion on the whole matter. Not only does Gilda have all the aforementioned qualities, but she comes from a family of thugs. I can't wait to meet her.

Catocony:

From what I know about Hong Kong, long time is a multiple Sha Ching situation, many many Sha Chings. Were there multiple (and costly) Sha Chings with your Sha Ching? Or did Sha Ching keep her Sha Chings within reasonable limits?

Turk,

Despite what the 4 CD Pimsleur quick and easy Portuguese lessons taught you, "puto" is not the male form of "puta". It's a semi-slang for pissed/upset ie. "ta puto?"

Also the correct word for relationship is "relacionamento"

Now go impress your girlfriend with the new words you learned today.

I love this shit! It took a while but I finally got a reaction from him.

So Gilda has some "fucking" big brothers, eh? Interesting you said fucking and big, I think the picture is coming into focus now. Turk really is into turking (which originally meant gay anal sex, by the way) and was just using the putas to get to the bitchas. Very shrewd of you, Turk

My fellow hombres:

I have noted that this thread has gone astray from its initial purpose of opening up the wonderful world of monogamous relationships to the membership of this board. I believe one of the reasons for this is the lack of credible information and analysis about the individuals whose opinions are expressed here. As many of you know, possibly from my trip reports, I strive to provide information that is informative, relevant, accurate, and helpful to my fellow hombres. It is in this spirit that I report the results of my investigation and analysis.

There are two questions I would like to address here. First, many have wondered who Turk5555 is and what his motivations are. I have the answers. Second, I know many of you are distressed by my conversion from the mongering world to a higher calling. I have some additional information to provide about this conversion.

Turk5555: First, let me say it is clear that on the one side of the issue we have Turk5555, and on the other a few thousand hombres. That itself might be enough for some to dismiss Turk5555 altogether, without further analysis. However, that would be to fall into the “tyranny of the majority” trap, something that is hardly advisable in this day and age. So, it is necessary to proceed further.

I know that after reading some of his posts, a number of hombres have questioned whether Turk is a real person, or instead, some fictional character invented perhaps by some hombres residing in Brazil. However, the evidence speaks for itself:

(1) In response to some insinuations posted on this board, the usual suspects vehemently denied, in public posts, that they are posting under the name of Turk5555 in order to create problems here. Since we all know the regular hombres on this board, each and every one of them, post only accurate and informative information, and would never stoop to posting fictional accounts or characters here, it is obvious beyond any question that Turk5555 is not an alias for any regular hombre on this board, and most particularly any hombre who presently lives in Brazil. Any such speculation should be viewed with utter contempt for the poster.

(2) One of Turk5555’s mainstays is his reference to terma cash registers going “Sha Ching.” In light of the critical importance of this allegation, I felt it needed further analysis. To perform this analysis, I visited every terma in Rio, and was shocked to discover that not a single one of them Sha Chinged. I thought “ha,” we finally nailed Turk5555 as a hopeless imposter to the terma scene. However, I decided to probe deeper and deeper at the termas, and finally found someone who told me it probably used to be the case, before the adoption of electronic cash registers, that some termas had mechanical cash registers that made the sound Sha Ching. Unfortunately, because this got into ancient history, my sources were unable to provide further details.

(3) Accordingly, I was forced to use the world wide web to explore postings on the subject of termas from decades ago. To my astonishment, I found some very early postings referring to termas and “Sha Ching.” From this, I have been able to conclude without any equivocation, that Turk5555 is an internet troll who has gathered old and outdated information from other boards, and has re-cycled the information from those boards here. Alternatively, rather than the term “internet troll” one could substitute “geek.” However, I knew this could not be the whole story.

(4) As Catocony astutely observed, Turk5555 has been posting in another thread information originating from the Catholic Church. With this sort of access at his disposal, many might believe Turk5555 is a Catholic priest getting his jollies by posting here. However, we also know about Turk5555’s recent moves in the direction of anonymity, having previously posted his picture on this board, but now refusing to do so again. Is it possible that in order to maintain his anonymity, he is intentionally mis-leading us into thinking he is a priest, when, in fact, he is a religious figure from some other religion?

(5) Without boring you with all the details here, my pseudo-scientific analysis has established with a certainty level of 69 percent, that Turk5555 wears a #2 pencil, always sharpened, above his right ear, and is one of the mullahs associated with the Taliban and assigned to their technology division. I hope that settles the matter once and for all.

Implications of My Conversion: This issue is now moot. In my search through ancient internet postings, I came across some information about Larry Flynt’s similar conversion (as you probably know from my earlier posting, I modeled my conversion to a higher calling on Flynt’s conversion to fundamentalist Christianity). I was shocked (again) to learn that shortly after Flynt’s conversion to Christianity, he re-converted back into the pervert he presently is. Less well known is how he now regrets deeply the detour, and the “lost time” that resulted. I do not want to make the same mistake. So, rather than do something I might regret later—namely, losing valuable mongering time while diverting, albeit temporarily (like Turk5555) into a life of monogamy—I have decided to act quickly to reverse my mistake and return to the life of depravity and cheap thrills. By the way, if any of you are presently around Sao Paulo, you can find me at any of the finer mongering locations scattered throughout town, undoubtedly in line waiting for a cabine.

I hope this helps once and for all.

LAguy

The way I SEE IT, the guy started a thread and people jumped all over him. Then he stuck his foot in his mouth and they jumped all over him again. Then they piled on and piled on and piled on and piled on and piled on. Get over it already?

My hat is off to LAGuy. He has the makings of a detective. I hear there are openings for this type of thing in Las Angeles these days. ANyway, back to the analysis...I am comforted to know we have finally identified Turk. More importantly, I think the above analysis clears me as a suspect.

I see you made reference to the once posted photo of Turk and Cristiane. If anyone has this, or has Cristiane's contact information, please send it to me as I will try to get her to participate in a bukakke and I will film it. I am serious, so if any of you can help, please let me know.

Porker,
The guys are having fun, dipshit.

GCL, and other similarly minded hombres:

One other thing that is important. PLEASE, PLEASE, resist any of your strong urges to nominate my analysis above of the Turk5555 situation for the May trip report competition. While I know this may be a difficult request, I cannot afford to have the votes for my work split among more than one entry.

Laguy...while i wish you the best and hope you win, please keep in mind that your victory will be a hollow one either way. Why? Excellent question. Well the epic report of my South Dakota sex vacation was rejected from entering the competition. So winning the competition wouldnt really be so fulfilling would it? I guess it would be sort of like jerking off...you still have the sensation of a nut..but you arent proud of it.

GCL,

Even though I might not be proud afterwards, I am still going to jerk off to the pics of Turk's namorada that used to be posted on his Yahoo page.

GCL,

Maybe you are right, but on the other hand with my winnings I would be able to have around six nuts at the R$1 per minute (R$10 minimum) massage parlors in Rio. Now that I would be proud of.

(Message edited by LAguy on May 30, 2004)

Dipshit? Sounds like a compliment coming from the gay village idiot.

GCL, if you need pictures of my namorado to JO over then you are truly a sick mind. Sicker than I thought. I have finally gotten deep into your psyche. I didn't know that I had such an effect on you.

Perhaps it is that my words about you are true, and you are having this incredible urge to get back to me. I have seen these sort of behavior before. It is a human behavior of a truly sick mind. So adolescent. Like the bully at school who got kicked in the mouth and now wants his revenge. Someone who cannot let of go when the words strike a cord in you.

Now you attack my girlfriend as if she were a cheap beach whore. You attack her so you can get to me. Your comments about her are truly those of a demented and torchured mind. To you all Brasileiras are cheap whores, throwaways. Perhaps the garotas have seen through you like glass and seen the monster lurking inside.

Now you have taken it upon yourself to investigate me. The rest of you mongers who are complicite in this investigation, are equally little monsters who have nothing better to do. You are like members of a neighborhood gang. trust me GCL is not worth that kind of loyalty.

GCL, you can go screw yourself. Your comments deserve much more from me, but I am content that I already have wounded your mind. And, that is good enough for me. :-)

" if you need pictures of my namorado to JO over "

Turkey's namoradO? Well that explains everything talk about a freudian slip....

In the meantime, I hope we can put this litle flame war to rest. Maybe in the spirit of peace and friendship , Turk555 can send his namoradO over to GCL's place to help heal his wounded mind. A good, old-fashioned turking should be just the thing to cheer our buddy GCL up...

BS

TROUBLE IN IPAMEMA. I just spoke with Cristiane, my namoradas brasileira and she gave me an update on GILDA and the Americano I introduced to her. We will call him Rick.

Rick and Gilda had a great time. He showed a lot of class by paying for everything including separate hotel room in Ipanema. They went out to the beach every day, but poor Rick, a very light skinned Americano, got sunburned pretty bad on the third day, and that was it for him. No more praia. ha, ha.

So on the fourth day they went shopping together (that's Gilda for you, hee, hee) and he apparently racked up quite a bill on purchases of clothing, shoes, bikini, everything. She is one happy Garaota.

I think Rick thought he could buy his way into Gilda's heart, but when he tried to collect some buceta, insisting that she spend the last couple of nights with him, she turned him down, and he went ballistic by cancelling her room and having the hotel staff boot her out. No class, no class.

My girlfriend gave me the gory details this morning. To hear it from my namorada, the way she described the whole thing and how it came down, it was really quite funny.

Needless to say, I am really disappointed in Rick. I thought the ground rules were made rather clear from the start. Patience is a virtue that you must have if you are to build a relationship with a brasiliera. It also helps if you speak decent Portuguese.

Well, it didn't work out, I am sure that Rick probably high tailed it to the first terma he could find. I am choking in laughter as I write this.

Rick, if you read this, I am sorry to hear about the way things ended for you.


Turk

Rick should have got that room thing understood from the first meeting. Nice guys are great but sometimes as we all know they finish last. He probably got off lite in the long run. Can't beat those Termas for buying love. - Hemp

Turk, Of course cause he sounds like as friggin wuss. I thought you set him up with a girl for a real relationship? Sorry but I have not read every post in these threads but I thought he was set up with the assumption that he was being introduced to a girl that wanted a boyfriend not a paycheck. So what does Wimpy Rick do ? Starts spending all his money on her and thinks he is owed pussy at the end of the night? Fuck he should have saved his money and called Don for a few girls. It probabaly would have saved him a k or 2.

Some guys will just never get it. Was his name Ben by any chance?

Hey hombres, I never disclose names. There is honor among men, okay.

I am a bit pissed off at Rick (not his real name, of course) for cutting off on Gilda like he did. Gilda waited for Rick for morning cafe da manha and the dude didn't even bother to show up. That is cold blodded as it goes.

Then when poor Gilda returned to her room she gets a call from the front desk, advising her that she needs to check out by 11:00 a.m. My namorada and I were laughing about this, but I am sure Gilda didn't find it very amusing. Not even a note of goodbye.

I don't really know what transpired, don't know all the fact, but Gilda is really heart broken over this, because she apparently was taking a liking to Rick. But Gilda is a bit on the shy side. Her first encounter with an Americano. Poor Gilda probably feels snake bitten after getting dumped that way.

When I met Cristiane it took like five days for us to get together because she works three days a week. Luckily she got a week off from her job, and the rest is history, but even I could've felt I was being used. This definitely worried me, but she showed up like she promised and the rest is history.

It is kind of Ricks fault too. He claimed he spoke good Portuguese, but from what I understand he spoke very poor or little Portuguese. So pay attention: Speak the language.

Rick will probably read this when he returns to the US and probably be pissed at me, but he knew going in that I would be keeping an "eye from a distance". So if you read some ugly posts here you will know.

It looks like this matchmaking didn't work out for whatever reason. Sounds to me like miscommunication all the way down the line and a lack of patience on the part of Rick.

Needless to say, I don't think I will play matchmaker again. Not after all the insults, foul language, and so forth that I received.

If any of you hombres have experienced anything similar post your stories. I am ready to read them.

Your little conspiratorial laugh about Gilda and shopping-- "that's Gilda for you"-- says it all. You set up a fellow Hombre with a tight assed money grabbing woman. Anyone who frequents this board - ecxcept you I guess- would expect some kind of return in exchange for mega buck outlays. If this were a Christian singles site it might be different , however this is a site about mongering and the joys of sexual adventures in foriegn lands. I do not blame " Rick " for his expectations. It is he who should be pissed as hell at you for what you pulled over on him !! You're lucky you only recieved insults and foul language.

Somehow I think you are posting on the wrong site. Perhaps you should do a search for " meeting celibate singles " and find more victims there.

As for stories about " matchmaking " you are definitely asking the wrong crowd. Do not think any of us are in the matchmaking mode. I have however steered fellow Hombres towards some hot pussy - do you want stories like that ??

I really want to know who this REALLY is...

I wish I was SMART enough to act as dumb as Turk!! Turk - Turked - Turking. Someone's getting fucked on this one!!

E

The only way I would ever rent two hotel rooms would be to keep the namorada in one and use the other to bring back Help/beach/terma garotas and escorts.

Funny that Turk used "hee hee" in his story. A famous monger on this board frequently uses that in his posts.........

I'm sure in the next few weeks we will get more of this "story" if it had not been for Turk posting a link with his first trip report most of us would think that this story was nothing more than fiction.

However knowing that he had posted a link with his pic and going by memory of what I saw on that link Turk is short under 5'6", Bald, tanned, 40 something, chubby fucking worm.

Turk the best advice I can give you is to crawl back under what ever rock that you writhed out from under. As what goes around comes around.

"Rick" if your out there I would urge you to post any info you have on Turk, or at least contact Hombre for advice.

I just hope that Turk is not trying to blackmail you out of anything.

Friends don't hook Friends up with girls like "GILDA".

Or did I miss the lecture on how to be a buddy during college in my fraternity???

TURK - I do not know if you are real or not, but if you are....you are a PRICK. I would NEVER hook another guy up with a "CUNT" like Gilda unless he was a mortal enemy.

What an ASS!

Second, FUCK patience! If you can't get a girl into bed by the second date, you don't want her. Chances are nearly 100% that she sucks in bed....among other things.

Roaglide wrote "However knowing that he had posted a link with his pic and going by memory of what I saw on that link Turk is short under 5'6", Bald, tanned, 40 something, chubby fucking worm."

So what you are saying is that he fits right in with the crowd ?

Epi:

I couldn't have said it better - "I wish I was SMART enough to act as dumb as Turk!".

CONSISTENTLY faking idiocy is very hard... even I occasionally slip up and allow my true mental brilliance to shine thru. Our bald friend is either posting this crap from the back of the short bus, or he's a mongering Einstein... I give up!

;-)

BS

>>>So on the fourth day they went shopping together (that's Gilda for you, hee, hee) and he apparently racked up quite a bill on purchases of clothing, shoes, bikini, everything. She is one happy Garaota.<<<

Sha Ching

Badseed

Perhaps this is one of those instances where Turd is actually the "alter ego" of someone here.

I'm thinking it's not a "conscious" change, more like an MPD, where one of our "benevolent", productive hobbyists is sitting at his PC when this alter ego, Torpid5555 actually surfaces, signes in, and wreaks his own brand of schizoid logic upon unsuspecting, and vastly entertained, fellow hobbyists.

E