There once was a young fag from Ramona
Who met a latina puta named Sharona
Said she, "I'm no queer"
and grabbed away his beer;
then proceeded to swallow his corona

I knew a girl who once had a weenie
But she looked real dam good in that bikini
Now she is sad that she doesnt see-me
its becuase i once heard that she wanted to be me

There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his whore down by the sea;
Said the puta, "Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "That's me."

Stolen by =Dogster=

After fucking this chick in the ass,
She expelled an assful of ass gas.
I don't want to sound crude,
But that smell was so rude,
I'd prefer a faceful of teargas.

Had a couple of drinks in Sans Souci,
'Cause I wanted to rent me a pussy.
When I checked her ID,
I saw she was a he,
Though she used to be Lou, now she's Lucy!

Benwhoisafamousstockbroker
whowasonceasweetiepiestroker
whowasfilledwithloathing
whensheworematernityclothing
andhehadtobecomeasmockgroper

Said Kendricks, Club Hombre huckster:
"I'm a terrorist-outlaw-puta-sucker.
Yes its true I like cunts
but I'll never do 2 at once
For I am the Unafucker!

Dodster,

You have a brain.

Not sure what else to say about it.

Creative I guess? Tambien sick.

Ben thats the best Limerick I have ever read.
Now go to the doctor and check your head
Then drink some Scotch and go to bed
before you say something you wish you haven't said

Ben, they’ve commented a-gain
About your love of fermented grain.
But my sincere refrain
Is that it doesn’t explain
The cause of your demented brain.

Created by =Dogster=


There was a young girl who begat
Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding
When she found she had no tit for Tat.

Stolen by =Dogster=

Haiku:

My hardened member
Buried between luscious lips
Performing rain dance

Biting her nipples
My hands squeezing her ass-cheeks
I shaft her wetness

Her tongue teases me
And my throbbing love muscle
Showers her with cream

There once was a man from Sydney
Who could put it in up to her Kidney
But a man from Quebec
Put it up to her neck
Now he had a big one, didn't he!

Stolen by =Dogster=

Said the prostitute dropping her towel
There's only one rule that I follow,
You can insert your shaft
In holes fore or aft,
But its output I never will swallow.

Stolen by =Dogster=

There once was a man from Australia
who painted his ass like a dahlia.
The color was fine,
likewise the design.
But the smell, ooooh! that was a failure.


from the movie "Breaker Morant", btw a 'dahlia' is a flower...Bosco

There once was a girl from Wheeling
who claimed she lacked sexual feeling
but a cynic named Boris just touched her clitoris
and she had to be scraped off the ceiling

(from a book)

We all know that tampons are spongey
And oftentimes get rather grungy
But why they have strings
Among other things
Is so that the crabs can all bungee.

Stolen by =Dogster=

You've heard of this wild guy Kendricks
Who Laments he doesn't have ten dicks.

From New Port beach
the putas are far from reach

So when he gets to the zone
he wears it down to the bone

Yea,he's the guy that guy who could use ten dicks
That's right it's that fuckin' Kendricks...

There was a young man fond of bbbj-ing
Who had a large wart on his thing
Though 'twas filled with green pus
He was wealthy, and thus
Mouthwash sales made the registers ring

Legends tell of an Innocent monger,
Chicas can't get enough of his donger.
To the border he races,
To spew cum on their faces,
Then runs north, while they scream "please stay longer!"

I used to do much whining
After oral pussy mining
Until I found the string
On that tampon thing
That allows me to floss after dining.

An original but based on a Dogster limerick kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

There once was an hombre named Snapper
Who kept the condom in the wrapper
While doing "chica ass"
Until he ran out of gas
Or she needed to use the crapper.

Any similarity between this limerick and the real Snapper is purely coincidental kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

I was eating some fine chica gash,
When out oozed somne other guy's trash.
Well this thick salty liquid,
Is not what I thirsted,
Now my mouth's filled with bitter fish mash.

While Kendrick's was eating his cuz
He noticed a pea in her fuzz.
His comment was quick:
Hey, are you sick?
She said: no, but the last guy was.

A Limerick based upon a well known joke kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

I again was a fool
When the chica broke out her tool
I then showed her mine
she started to wine
And I lost my kool


A Limerick from a crazy kind of guy
Milky

A lady from CC named Gabby
Knew how to make all hombres happy
And with hooters prodigious
Wooing verged on religious
So her income remained far from shabby

I knew a chica loud and squawky
Whose pussy was a walkie-talkie;
As I entered her station,
She screamed with elation;
It was heard from TJ to Milwaukee.

A Don't give me any static over that one kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

There was a group of voyeurists
Who thought themselves Club Hombre purists
They travelled multi-clitorally
But they were simply quite literally
A mere collection of of fucking tourists

Yours in whoring
=Dogster=

Club Hombre has really been fun,
With it's daily reports about cum.

The chicas are sweet,
Go early for fresh meat

I have fun in the sun
Then I cum in their buns

Too bad I can't nail everyone...

Oh where oh where is Farsider?
He was a good limerick writer.
I'm going to wait here
For that poetic peer;
I may have to do an all-nighter.

An East Coast kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

In honor of MitchC's budgeting while in Havana last week. With his last $40, he was STILL chasing skirts in spite of still owing an $89 room charge...

I once knew a gringo so rash
On pussy he spent ALL his cash;
When asked for a loan
His friends did both groan
"Twas not I who spackled the gash!"

DonGringo

I met the monger named Ootie
Who goes to tijuana for booty
He digs the chicas with nice bodies
Sada's his choice from all the hotties
Even I must say she is a cutie

I spent most of my cash on panocha,
And the rest I spent on chica boca.
Now that I am flat broke,
I know it's not a joke,
Being addicted to sexo loca.

Bitch betta have my money
400 a day nothing less would be funny
with me there is no free pass
or she will have my foot in her ass
1k a day and I am sweet as honey


By a Tough guy who has his whore working at Adelitas

Saturday Trip Report

I met a chica named Jessica at a place called AB
I didn’t ask her where she was from
I knew she could make me cum
She got down on her knees to satisfy my needs
She got on top and I didn’t want it to stop
But eventually I popped

A mongerin' went the young banker
Like a fool did deposit his wanker
Improperly wrapped
Right after she'd crapped
Her roids knocked the scabs from his shankers

If you'd like a really good fuck
The zona's the place you'll have luck

If I could gather them all in a truck
I'd bring them home for a non stop suck

I visit a bar that is not to too far
It’s the place that has The Famous One
I wonder if she can guess my sign
Someday soon I will go at high noon
I hope I’m first in line

A soldier known only as Sarge
Had sex with a hooker named Marge.
Though only a grunt,
He assaulted her cunt,
And gave her an honorable discharge.

stolen by =Dogster=

Sheesh... why does this thread always resuscitate when I go away for a few days?

Stay tuned... a barrage of new ones is on the way.

An all-too-common situation, and a not-so-tactful way of dealing with it:

I said to this chica, "Por ano?"
She retorted, "I'm not sure I wanna."
She preferred the front entry
So I just told her, gently,
"But it smells like you douched with Romano."

A most curious creature, the beaver
(Not the animal, but the receiver.)
When she's nuzzled and licked
And filled up with dick
Whatever she says, you'll believe her!

(okay, so it's not TJ specific... but ain't it the truth!)

A notorious bar girl and whore
Would allow horny sailors to score,
But employed every means
Of avoiding Marines-
She was rotten, they claimed, to the Corps.

Stolen by =Dogster=

I once ate a fat chick in Cuba
Whose axewound resembled a tuba;
I puffed, and I blew
Until out shot some goo
With a bang that was heard in Aruba.

That was brilliant, Dongringo. I am in awe. Thank you for sharing that masterful limerick with us! That one had it all... eating out fat chicas in a latino country, creatively vulgar naming of female genitalia, puffing, blowing, goo, and of course, the big payoff at the end. Bravo!!!

Thanks KenD...considering how few words ryhme w/cuba, I felt like Liberace grunting out a 5 pound gerbil on that one. I may have pictures if there's enough interest?

Here's another one pertaining to everyone's (least) favorite Zona Norte establishment:

Stay away from that Kinkle Bar, sonny!
That ain't no place to go find a honey.
With its tall, ugly strangers
Transvestites and butt rangers
You'll be losing much more than your money!

Kendricks had an sweet lady caller
Who would finish him off with a swaller;
But with a random sneeze,
Poor Ken fell to his knees
And now we call him the Uniballer

I'm still laughing at that line "whose axewound resembled a tuba".

Permit me to just say that, after having reviewed the full archives of this thread, you are ALL a bunch of MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS!
Hombre should knight you all for the comedic value you add to this site.
DonGringo

Snow White's Gang Bang

Said the Dwarfs to their friend Snow White
"We want to gang bang you tonight!"
(Said she) "Well, let's see,"
"Seven of you, one of me"
"I guess it would be alright!"

Happy was the first to begin
He stuck his dick in with a grin
He stroked in and out
Finally did spout
And shot his load all over her chin!

The next dwarf in line was Doc
She then gently straddled his cock
Up and down she did bounce
Then swallowed every ounce
Of his hot, molten, gelatinous schlock!

The third dwarf to bang her was sneezy
Needless to say the conditions were breezy
In his own funny way
He was a good lay
But, when finished, he was tired and wheezy.

The fourth dwarf to mount her was Grumpy
Who was always in the mood for a good humpy
He did her with style
On her face put a smile
And covered her with jism that was lumpy.

The next one to fuck her was Bashful
Who claims he was brought up in Nashville
When she saw his bit
She damn near did shit
And knew she was in for a gashful!

The sixth dwarf to pork her was Sleepy
But first he had to go peepy
Then performed a great stunt
Licked her ass, fucked her cunt
The whole thing was really quite creepy!

Dopey was the last dwarf to do her
But he had no clue how to screw her
He got coaching from Doc
In control of his cock
But he damn near stuck it right through her!

Snow White was sore and content
After being fucked by seven small gents
But when she arose
To put on her clothes
She was all alone, they all went!

(Stolen by Dogster)

Kendricks, I hope there was enough gratuitous detail for you here...