If Portege really is living here (in Pattaya) now, he'll probably learn to speak Russian before he learns Thai. The hotels are already jammed with "Rooskies" and it's not even high season yet.
Some people don't like Pattaya in the high season anyway. Saturday night traffic jams on beach road 2 (Sai Song) are intense, even if you're just trying to squeeze through on a scooter. My buddy in Jomtien moves to Bangkok or Saigon for the high season.
How I Get A Room If My Favorite Hotel Is Full:
Stay anywhere the first night. The next morning I go there to grease the manager and give him my phone number. He'll call around noon saying to come on over.
Scouting for Talent
I rented a scooter (which is now up to 200 baht/day, 1000 baht/week). I had brought an Arai full-face helmet that had been in an accident. You shouldn't use a wrecked helmet at all, but I feel safer with it than with one of the stupid helmets that they give you in Pattaya. Plus I don't have to worry about catching head lice. I thought it would give me some anonymity when cruising Soi 6. What a joke that turned out to be: I've only seen one other full-face helmet here. The girls are like, "It's that guy again."
[Sidebar on two-wheelers: Don't rent one unless (1) you ride at home, AND (2) you only ride sober and well-rested so that your brain can process driving on the left side of the road. Every time I've ever been in Pattaya Memorial's emergency room I saw people who had been in scooter accidents. Every time. Don't say I didn't warn you.]
I spotted a cutie at the Ruby Club (CH Link) on Soi 6 and pulled over. Nice face with very brown legs and bottom. Bought drinks. She didn't want to go to my hotel, so we went to a room upstairs. Bar fine = 300 baht. This place has pretty clean rooms. She had had a kid. She was down to her undies and I just thought, "Ahh shit, I don't want to do this." I said "mai bpen rai" ("never mind") and told her that she could keep the bar fine. She asked what was wrong, and I said I preferred to do it at my hotel.
I went outside and got back on my scooter. Another cutie walked up and addressed me by name! Couldn't place her! She asked if I remembered her. She took me to her bar and then it clicked, even though the bar had changed names recently (a common occurrence on Soi 6). "Praa" had changed her hair color to a light brunette. I hadn't seen her in a year, and MY how she had grown! She grew some breasts and had become curvaceous. What an ass! Wow!
I had been thinking about her a lot at home and just didn't recognize the New Her. (Couldn't find her on my last trip a few months ago.) It reminded me of the Elvis song "Little Sister": ...but you've been growin', and baby it's been showin' from your HEAD down to your toes!
Praa has me pegged as a "live one," and for good reason. When I found her last year, she had only ever done short time at the bar, i.e. she had never gone to a hotel. To take her home for an all-nighter I had to convince her and the ladies running the bar (in Thai) that I could be trusted with this tender morsel.
I got to know them at that bar pretty well and (no kidding) they threw a surprise party for me last year when I went to pick up Praa on my birthday. On Soi 6, imagine that: a birthday party in Sodom and Gomorrah.
Plus --and some of you are going to jump all over me for this-- I bid all the way up to 8000 baht for that first all-nighter, and 8000 again for a subsequent one. So for Praa, I am a live one. Face it, if you want beautiful young pussy all to yourself in your own room, all night, it's gonnna cost you. (Somebody told me that I should change my name to "Mark.")
(And shut up, Porker, this isn't the PI. I'll bid what it takes to get the girls I want. If I start an inflation in Thailand, so be it. This isn't Wal Mart.) (That's one of the things about this site: if you spend more, somebody calls you extravagant. Spend less and somebody else calls you a "cheap Charlie.")
So on this trip, the "new Praa" told me that she had just returned from Khon Kaen that day to "work" because her mother was waiting for surgery and they needed the money to begin. (That has got to be the oldest bar girl scam in the book: "my mama sick." Classic.)
Anatomy of a Scam
Spent that night with the New Praa and it was EXCELLENT! We did it again in the morning, and then I was completely spent. I felt like I would never do it again. The morning session was especially great because, to my surprise, I could just tell from the beginning that I was going to pop. (I don't care for those can't-come marathons.)
Boy, did I ever get some looks from the tourists when I was hanging out with Praa.
I got her on a flight from BKK up to Khon Kaen so that she could go back home, and I could play around in Pattaya. She is still so young that I figured I should see her off. She had flown once before but didn't know anything about Suvarnabhumi and what time to get there, etc.
Before we left Pattaya I bought her a black jacket that she wanted in Pattaya Central. That evening she went to a salon and had her hair done. When she came back to the hotel, she was wearing some painted-on (i.e. incredibly tight) black pants, that black jacket, and her hair was in bangs. She looked like a million bucks. Stunning! WOOoooo. Straight off the cover of Seventeen, Thai edition.
Rather than get up super-early in Pattaya to head to the airport, we spent that night in a hotel close to Suvarnabhumi. It was only 1000 baht and I found it through JK Travel on Soi 8 in Pattaya. It was a simple but surprisingly clean room with a large bed. I desperately needed sleep and made turning in a priority.
About 11 p.m. she shook me awake. She was crying and said "Mommy died! Mommy died!" I was surprised that she knew how to say that in English. But it didn't occur to me right then, in that condition, that it might be an act. So I held her in the dark, trying to comfort her. I thought about how bad it would suck to be in her situation in this country and lose her mother. Her crying didn't seem to be the true keening that I would expect in that situation. She calmed down surprisingly fast and told me that she would need money for some kind of ceremony, and she punched the number 15000 into her phone to show me. I said we would talk about money in the morning. I needed sleep bad.
Come morning we split for the airport right away, and money didn't come up until we got her checked in to her flight and I walked her to security, where we had to part ways. I told her I didn't have any more $$ to give her just then. Off she went, a Thai model dressing sharp, with spike heels, on the way to her mom's funeral. Hmm...
Now that I had gotten some sleep, it started to come together: she has exactly one mother, and her mother will die exactly once. What are the odds that this will occur on the day that her live one is visiting from the U.S.A.?
And how is it that a girl who speaks no English knew how to say "Mommy died"? I know at least a thousand words of any language before I know the word for "die." And she nailed it: "died" --past participle and all. How? Because her Esarn cunt gold-digger friends that were putting her up to this told her to say it, that's how. I believe that they were coaching her with text messages every step of the way.
By now there are many additional holes in her story.
She just called to see if I would send her some money since she spent it all on her mother's arrangements. I told her to meet me in Pattaya. She said she didn't have any money at all to get to Pattaya. I told her to meet me in Pattaya. Then she said she HAD enough to get to Pattaya.
From now on, it's strictly pay-for-play with her, and she gets "minimum wage." Don't take the scheming personally; it's just what two-faced Esarn girls do in Pattaya. That's what I get for being a live one. She could have kept milking me but she killed the goose.
