“You thought the leaden winter would bring you down forever,
But you rode upon a steamer to the violence of the sun.
And the colors of the sea bind your eyes with trembling mermaids,
And you touch the distant beaches with tales of brave Ulysses,
How his naked ears were tortured by the sirens sweetly singing…

“And you see a girl's brown body dancing through the turquoise,
And her footprints make you follow where the sky loves the sea.
And when your fingers find her, she drowns you in her body,
Carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of your mind...

Tiny purple fishes run laughing through your fingers,
And you want to take her with you to the hard land of the winter.
Her name is Aphrodite and she rides a crimson shell,
And you know you cannot leave her for you touched the distant sands
With tales of brave Ulysses, how his naked ears were tortured
By the sirens sweetly singing.” - Eric Clapton/ Cream

A BRIEF MONGER HISTORY

Mongering, for me, goes back to working in a bar in Chicago’s Lincoln Park in 1989. Someone mentioned a really cool bar in Costa Rica named the Park Hotel. I went down for a week and yes, it was a REALLY cool bar. You can buy a deep dish pizza, or maybe even a really expensive escort off the internet, but to press flesh with a $20 buck brown skinned wonder, “Hi how are you you look great how much let’s go”…just never happens on Chicago’s North side. I went back to Costa Rica in ’96, then for six months in ’99. I lived in Costa Rica off the internet boom in 2000 but it all ended with the bubble bursting. That lead to 2002 and a teaching gig and yearly summer trips to Costa Rica. I’d spend two months with a crew of crazed mongers in a crumbling building called the Apartamentos Ferso. $300 a month, fully furnished. We turned the joint into a brothel, amazing times. Things started to get chipped away though when the Park Hotel went under in the mid 2000’s. Then the Ferso owner decided to sell long term leases rather than keeping the apartment house as the brothel that we had made it. With the tourist influx incredible beaches like Manuel Antonio Costa Rica started to feel DONE. I moved on to Medellin in 2007 and had four full six week trips there. Got to know Boyd and the rest of the crew at Mansion/Castillo-- so many crazy times and chicas. Then Radioman, just as he did with Medellin, turned me onto Angeles City in ’09. I took my first trip and didn’t look back. This is the report for trip #4. Four weeks in Angeles, one week in Pattaya.

It might very well be the last for awhile.

DEATH OF THE MONGER HOBBY

“The death of a boy in Hong Kong can be your undoing.” — Charles Bukowski

It starts with the crash of the US economy in ’08. The university you work for, let’s call it The U, had expanded by purchasing real estate in downtown Chicago, spreading out fully during the go-go 2000’s. Then the real estate market crashes. Stock market tanks too, loses 30% of its value. Double whammy. The U goes into lockdown mode. It’s not going to eat those losses lightly. In fact, it’s not going to eat them at all. It hires a Bain Capital-style consultancy service to perform something called “prioritization”, looking at every school expense, seeking to make it more efficient (aka: combining departments and cutting salaries) while improving the academic experience (aka: cut expensive experienced staff and hire grad students for less than half the pay). This would be a year-long study. In the meantime almost a thousand students decide another 5% tuition increase is injustified and that maybe spending 21,000$ on a film school degree might not be worth a lifetime of debt. So they drop out. The U goes into panic mode. That’s 20 million dollars that just walked out the door. Suddenly you hear about classes disappearing and tenured teachers who taught them…purged. You, as a part-timer, have for years had zero job security or benefits. It was ok so long as the kids kept coming and the classes filled. Suddenly the classes stopped filling. No classes means no teachers needed. What was a marginal living becomes something less. And this strangulation of your livelihood is done not with a face to face meeting like in UP IN THE AIR. It’s done via email. You get an email saying you’re teaching only two classes per semester next year, not three. Sounds like no big deal until you run the numbers. That’s $10,000 dollars gone…in an email. This happens to be the exact $10,000 you’ve been spending on mongering every year for a decade. What’s left of your measly income goes for your monthly nut. Meaning the lifestyle you’ve known for a decade is gone. There’s nowhere to run to, can’t replace the income, nobody is hiring. 2012--not a great time to be a teacher. What’s left is… subsistence.

And you don’t relish life as subsistence.

Though there are WORSE things-- like not subsisting. Like living under the Wacker Street Bridge.

In the current state of affairs I believe, almost certainly, this is the last report coming from this brave Ulysses, at least for now.

But enough of my woes… onto the bitches.

THE TRIP OVER

Cathay Pacific rules! 14 ½ hours straight, nary a worrying bump. Fed like pigs, macaroon cakes, Raman noodles between meals. Linguine Alfredo, beef with mustard potatoes and Haagan Daz vanilla ice-cream. Beats Tiger air where you have to pay for a single sip of water. Paid 1698$ RT Chi. Cleared Hong Kong customs only after they impounded my silly string(no aerosol cans allowed in carry on) so remember not to bring silly string in your carry on! Finally caught Hunger Games on their 200+ movie consul (talked to someone who said United doesn’t offer 200+ movies, unlimited TV shows, sports, comedy and Discovery channel broadcasting. Bummer) So, caught HUNGER GAMES, and GOON, GAME CHANGE, THE ROCK, FAMILY GUY, OLYMPIC HIGHLIGHTS. BOOGIE NIGHTS climatic firecracker scene got cut off with our landing. Manila was dues paying, as always. Fucking hate that town with its overcrowding, heat, pollution, traffic jams…all of which were on display post 22 hours traveling at 1am in a chaotic airport scene. Took 40 minutes to clear customs, no line control or anyone in charge; then took time to find my driver and make it out of the skewed traffic jam. Rolled in Angeles about 2:30am.

CENTRAL PARK HOTEL

Room 6--good to see you again! Nearly fell out a dozen times in the car getting here, but once here, I’m awake, AWAKE! Get my shit out of storage, the wigs, the schoolgirl outfits I didn’t want to explain to Homeland Security the last time. Central Park has taken care of me, as usual. Full booking with 10% off for monthly rental, four pillows and towels, laptop in place and ready to go. It ain’t the Medellin Castillo and Boyd, but it’s the best you can do here. Everyone calls me by my first name on Day One.

WHAT’S THE SAME?

Change money at Norma’s. Not planning on using an ATM once this trip. Brought $7500 cash. Going rate is 41.69. Entire month I didn’t get 42. Last trip it was 42-43. Trip before was 45. We’re losing 5% purchasing power every year. You think this BLEEDING doesn’t add up? One year you’ll run the numbers and discover you simply can’t afford this addiction any longer.

Mamacitas for laundry. How fucking great that she charges by the pound and not by the item (in Pattaya they want a dollar per pair of underwear—yeah, right. Mamacita gets my laundry money, fools.) Support her business, mongers!

Raymond Street bars. It’s Day 1 and I can’t make it to or from Mamacitas without hearing a voice or two from the bars. “PAUL!” Geraldine is a left over from last year and recognizes me. It’s nice to be appreciated and I’ll be donating a few sheckles down this dirty back road.

SM Mall. Same as it ever was. The Fruitas stand for my banana smoothie. The buy one get one free perfume stand, the game arcade upstairs, Hypermart still with everything under the sun and the three claps “happy to serve!” staff. It occurs to me that this is what the Republicans ultimately want from us--A numbed acceptance of low wage subsistence: HAPPY TO SERVE!

KOKOMOS RAIL

One of my favorite places on earth. Nothing’s changed, down to Heide the waitress, three years now on day shift. You don’t get greeted in Pattaya on a first name basis (unless you live there) but here everyone knows my name. They bring the sweet ice-tea jar without asking. They know I order the French Toast breakfast every day. At night, seeing it again for the first time on three hours sleep, it’s trippy-- hundreds of THEM, to and from work, magic hour strolling. The neon will kick in in about 30 minutes, still daylight as they make their way to work. Heels and shorts, rock hard thighs and smooth skin, female bodies you never see on Clark Street, Chicago. ZZ TOP on the box at Voodoo (CH Link), the fly with attitude, not budging, as if knowing I’ve got Pad Thai coming. It’s not that these are Goddesses passing. Most aren’t. It’s just the ENERGY at Magic Hour. Anticipation of night’s probabilities-- probabilities even Steven Hawking couldn’t calculate. Females, females… Forbidden City (CH Link), Typhoon (CH Link), One Eyed Wench (CH Link), Champagne (CH Link), and Lancelot (CH Link)… where will you end up tonight? Who will you end up with? How will it turn out? Earth shattering questions of world import. Typhoon’s orange neon kicks in now. So do the Welcome Inn (CH Link) oranges, Champagne’s yellows, pinks from Owl’s Nest (CH Link) and beyond. I won’t go gently into this good night.

WHAT’S NEW AND DIFFERENT?

I’ve built up a Facebook network of about 10 girls from last trip. This is new. When I think about all the great girls I’ve known, in Costa Rica, in Medellin, even the early trips here. Inevitably, even with a phone number, when I’d come back a year later they’d be gone from their clubs and the cell phone wouldn’t work… alas, they’d be gone. Now, with the miracle of Facebook, I can be NAGGED EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY by Filipinas who just HAVE to see me. Talk about advancement! Most of them don’t work out, by the way…some out of town, some flake out. 3 of 10 might come through, which is better than none in 10, I suppose.

THE NEW NORMAL: PRICING

1,500p barfines are gone. Found only one on Fields (One Eyed Wench) Some 1,600, most 1,800 and above. 4,000 max at Golden Nile (CH Link). Count in a round of drinks @ 250 and 500 tip, the average is about 2500p or $65 bucks. Read a lot about the sneak-out phenomenon. The sneak out thing is over-rated. Got tons of numbers this trip. Getting numbers isn’t the issue. It’s getting them to show up, on time, for the price and terms agreed. Lots of flake outs.

Another much discussed trend is the double lady drinks (DLD’s). First night at Spearmint (CH Link) I forgot to specify “single lady drink” and got pounded for 300p. Don’t forget to specify, guys.

DISEASE

Good news: 30 days in Angeles, 8 in Pattaya, no STD’s. No ear infection either, which seems to get me every year. The bad news? Full week of jet lag, off and on back problems, chomping ibuprofen throughout. Kissed an AC chick who too late told me she had throat issues. Hacking kisser’s cough followed and stuffedupness that destroyed my sleep and health for half the Pattaya trip. Speaking of STD’s…

RUBBERS

I don’t wear them in Angeles, or try not to. Didn’t use one this trip. In Pattaya, sure, they’re required. Even there though, slipped into two or three with nothing, and had the condom fall off and the girl not insist on a new one a couple sessions. I’m a completely lucky motherfucker to have escaped the STD curse. Be advised though: It’s now an Angeles interview question if you don’t want to use a rubber. I lost lays in Angeles because of this issue. I’d say in AC it’s still 80-20, 4 in 5 won’t require it. But it’s more of a factor than it was only two years ago. In this trip I was shot down by Fields girls, Perimeter girls, even BJ bar girls (two of them!) It’s not an automatic any more.

THE HITACHI!

Best vibrator in the world. Wasting them, as I knew it would. Noticed in my research for my micro-budget movie about the online adult chat world (investors welcome!) that the women were using one vibrator more than any other. The 90 buck Hitachi. So I bought one. Usually their faces knot up when they see this giant THING. Then they realize it doesn’t go inside them, and then they feel it work on their clit. OH MY GOD! (Their words). Three or four pretty much addicted to dick stroke/Hitachi on the clit missionary. Buy one, make your girls happy!

BITCHES

“You tease, you flirt, and you shine all the buttons on your green shirt. You can please yourself but somebody’s gonna get it.” — ELVIS COSTELLO

RAYMOND & SANTOS STREETS

Very good trip for Raymond Street. Ruby Lynn is a super freak who won’t make your Flickr Best Of set but will rock your world. Rhian is gone but Bea is a stone cold beauty. She’s also the freak who demands my Hitachi for at least two climaxes AFTER our session. Quite something to watch a 19 year-old relieve herself without regard or shy nature. Luna and Analyn, tag team extraordinaire. Geraldine with that solid state body, Donna and Rochelle on night shift. Barely had time for Treasure Island (CH Link) down on Santos, let alone Teaser Cutie bar near Norma’s, let alone the Perimeter bars. Wow Bar (CH Link) has four doables by itself. That’s more than I found in 40 Soi 6 bars! Pictures are enclosed.

MY CUTE DOORGIRL THING

“Guy cutting grapefruit and a girl with sleep in her eyes” — FILM NOIR LOVE

RHAPSODY (CH Link) DOORGIRL
It’s incurable, my cute doorgirl THING. Lost track of the number of doorgirls I fucked. My feet just stop. Valhalla (CH Link), Love and Music (CH Link), two from One Eyed Wench. This one was more than cute--she was proof of Divine existence. Without Henry Miller verbage, let’s just call her hot. The true monger knows though, don’t believe the advertising. She was on her cell phone the minute she stepped into my room. TURN OFF THE CELLPHONE, I say. She doesn’t wait long before telling me her sister has a problem. I tell her to stop, just stop. She’s staying the full two hours with two fucks, photos and no rubber, as agreed, or we walk back to her bar right now. She relented.

CUTE 19 YEAR OLD DOORGIRL

With braces, looks like she just graduated high school (oh wait, she did) insisting on kissing not just my chest but running her tongue all the way down. She’s a “little more” girl. Ask her: “We stop? Or little more? Up to you.” “Little more,” she whispers. To witness it was a privilege!

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

The two Santos street freaks who practically raped me will have to wait. Donna is coming over at 12. She’s coming out of retirement, supposedly. If she doesn’t show? Bea is around. Got her pics and she wants that Hitachi again. Speaking of the Hitachi, 3pm is Maricel who came 5x with the dick and Hitachi. This girl worked WOW bar last trip for 700 bf. Now she makes 3000p at Crystal Palace (CH Link). Body is stronger. She cornered me…on Facebook! Endlessly on Facebook…baby, get a life. Supposed to call that crazy doorgirl from Dirty Duck (CH Link) last year, another Facebook pal. Then there’s the Ponytails (CH Link) tequila girl who must have had a change of mind about no condom, she just called. Then there’s Krizel, formerly of Atlantis (CH Link), now at Cambodia (CH Link), also bugging me on Facebook. The killer Blue Nile (CH Link) dancer shooting me looks last night when I walked in barhopping with another chick. The Papasan at Wench has two more for me. And then there’s...

THE GIRL WHO WANTED TO KILL ME

Heard through the grapevine a girl was VERY upset with her photo being posted on PI AT NIGHT. She knew who took the photo and had vowed to kill him. I was pretty sure that the unfortunate fellow was me. Interesting, eh! Especially interesting because her bar was only steps from my hotel so there was no way to duck her. So, I did the reverse and second day, strolled in there. She just sneered at me, and I wasn’t sure how this would work out. She could send a hard luck Pinoy my way, hidden shiv just waiting to kill me, pay him with a blowjob or two. At 23, she’s HARD and wouldn’t have a problem doing so (which reminds me of the Medellin chick who confessed to having a dude killed, but that’s another story)….Couple caresses later though, some playful punches by her, but I could see in her eyes… she didn’t want blood. Certainly not after I peeled off 500p as a peace offering. She might have been pissed off, but that was 18 months ago. She probably sees me as the same fat meatstick, but there’s some affection here, somehow. Things worked out fine, despite the SLIMEBALL on PI AT NIGHT who outted me. Funny first session though. As she came out of the bathroom it occurred to me she could have the shiv with her (under the towel?) or just kill me with her mouth (no blowjob today, ok baby?) She laughs when I confess this and says she hadn’t thought about it, but it was a good idea. Happy am I there was no drama here.

KRIZEL

Worst lay of the trip. Avoid. Works at Cambodia. Killer body, major attitude problem. Complained about the water in my room as having the “smell of pigs”. Time comes to deliver the goods, she’s a starfish. Flat on her back, doesn’t even turn to me. Complaints that the room is cold, blah blah… I boot her out. Went from being a sweet 1500p Atlantis doorgirl to this year’s 2650 Coyote dancer who loves to GIVE ORDERS. “I’ve been with 700 peso girls with five times your passion. You have no passion.” “Go find one then” “I will.” No tip. Ciao baby, have yourself a life.

RHIZA

Force of nature. Sex monster numero uno. 3X with her. These are 4-6 hour dates, multiple sessions. Sand shark eyes that roll back upon feeding. A million thanks to Bwana Dik for turning me onto this porn star. Some of the best PSE I ever had. Traditional spinner height with larger, utterly perfect tits and ass. Got a brain too. She’s an English, science and math student and has ambitions outside of selling her body. Girl and I TALK about stuff. She hates Koreans and rom-coms so we’re off to a good start. “Sex is my habit,” she informs me, routinely. “You mean hobby.” “Habit.” “As in addiction?” “Yes.” My kinda girl! Rub strawberry wash over that silk smooth skin as we shower together. The girl likes romance and pussy eating. Hey, so do I! She likes my tongue. Wants to cut it off and take it home with her. Fully oil that mag body and in the immortal words of Rollergirl…”here we go!” DATE 2-- she wants fried chicken wings with gravy and I’m ordering from room service as she’s sucking my cock and watching me the whole time. Very hard to concentrate on the order! Do some pushups while stroking her from behind until the restaurant waitress knocks with the food. She wants me to keep fucking! Riding me, riding me… Said she stopped the Pacific Breeze elevator once and fucked between floors. We walked around looking for something TO DO last night. Nothing! SM mall closed, no movies, carnival is 40 minutes away by tryke. Had a drink in Angelwitch (CH Link) listening to music older than her, and then back home in drizzle to fuck yet again. This fucking shithole! I suppose I shouldn’t complain about watching her mount and ride me again with perfect tits, her face ecstatic. I can bowl in Chicago. I will never know times such as these.

THE DAYS RUN AWAY LIKE WILD HORSES OVER THE HILLS

What day is it? No idea. What date? No clue. What’s the plan tonight? No plan. What’s the mission then? Long lean, hard body, around the horn fucking. Appease the Gods of procreation and sex addiction. Chaos Theory in practice. A single ripple of water augers a typhoon.

CAN I BRING MY BRING MY FRIEND?

Many great sessions this way. Plugging Gracie, for instance. Last I saw her she was a green-eyed, dark-haired sex monster on Raymond street. This trip I find her on Fields, as a blonde, 7 months pregnant, working the door book at Golden Nile. Gracie, look at you! She came by the first night, within 30 seconds ripping off my shirt, within five minutes her eyes rolling into the back of her skull…essentially raping me, hit and run shit. Then the inevitable question: ‘You have a dancer friend from Golden Nile who wants extra money?” “Oh yes!” Next day she brings a 3,000p girl by, also hot. This is how it works. You know someone who knows someone who knows someone. Sixth degrees of sexual separation. The doorgirl I fucked last year at Treasure Island is off the market this year, engaged, but turns me on to this year’s Wench crop. The Raymond Street girl brings her cousin. The ex-Love and Music chick working the street knows I like spinners and give a finder’s fee. There’s no end to it.

LUNA AND ANALYN

These two were tag team of the trip. Took them to the game room at SM Mall, took them to the pool at Pacific Breeze. What THE FUCK else is there to do for laughs around here. Oh, right, boom boom. It gets old, especially when I remember that even that simple bowling alley in Patts as a great diversion. Anyone want to invest in a bowling alley in AC with me? These two (photos enclosed) are Raymond Street warriors. No customers in rainy season so they take care of this Jollibee motherfucker. Separate them. 1500p each for two 45 minutes sessions = big smile on Paulyvegas’ face.

PERIMETER

I suppose I should be thankful it’s the giant round table at Garfield’s that’s full of gringos, not my Raymond street bars. Is it the dollar beer that draws so many dudes here? Time after time I’d enter a Perimeter bar to a scene with more dudes than chicks. Know what I do then? Walk right the fuck out. I was a month in Angeles and out on the Perimeter all of three times. There’s a killer in Nifty’s (CH Link) named Eileen you might want to check out. Straight up sex monster.

MARILOU
Street pickup outside Mamacitas. I look at her passing with a friend. She eyes me and smiles. I pursue. In the US I might be arrested for approaching, certainly considered a pervert. I’m in my 50’s pursuing a 22 year old? What do you think would happen to me on Clark Street Chicago if I tried this? Here, within the hour I’m fucking this uber-skinny model type for 1000. Love this country!

PRINCESS
Another killer street chick. Heading home, across from Philly’s Best, sitting in an empty tryke is a micro-spinner to die for. 4-9, 80 pounds. She’s with a friend and they come back to my pad. We have some drinks and laughs with my toys. Give the friend 500 to bring me another spinner, and to piss off and leave me with Princess. 1000 to Princess. Un-be-lievable.

GUSELLE
Yet another street pickup. Dancer at Lollipop (CH Link). Dayshift, on break at the clothes stalls. I notice her legs and Porker and I take a detour into Lollipop. She promises to sneak out and actually delivered. The longer you’re around the better your chances with these fortuitous accidents.

LUNA
Pregnant, she was told by docs she’d probably need a Caesarian. Told her she’d need money. She couldn’t find the money. Carried the baby to term, and then lost it because she couldn’t afford the Caesarian. Medieval shit! Her baby died because she didn’t have the money for a basic proceedure. And she just seems to roll with it. These chicks are incredible, the hard lives they lead, playing the cards their dealt.

MISCELLANIA

• THE KOREANS. Got nothing against them. Got nothing for them, either. Pacific Breeze pool. Swim to the deep end, look up, four of them lounging in bad plaid shorts, kings of the manor-ALL TO THEMSELVES. Let me repeat that: Insular. Not in four full one month trips has a Korean ever uttered a syllable to me. Expressionless. Humorless. The next joke I hear from a Korean will be the first. Maybe they’re cracking them in their own language. I know about Korean cinema but since when are they an economic superpower? I mean, what do they export that creates so many mongers with so much disposable income? Atlantis, 7pm. They’re already set up at the rails, these …. .rotund consumers of resources. You can keep your green badgers.
• THE BIT. Up at 8, shower and internet. 9am-Kokomos, French toast breakfast and sweet tea. 10am-SM mall, get/pickup photo enlargements, Hypermarket food. 11am swallow first 100mg V. 12AM-Entertain first lady. 2pm-First lady goes. 3pm-Second lady arrives 5pm-Second lady leaves. 6pm eat dinner, siesta. 7:30-Hit Field searching for Lady 3. 10pm: bid goodbye to Lady 3. 11pm: Stagger into Fields for #4 or crash out at 12.
• Kalamansi vs. Lime? The fuck kinda word is that for a lime?!?
• Starting using a vasectomy line when pitching no rubbers to Fields girls. They seem to appreciate not having to worry about a baby and almost always seem more concerned about this than the distant concept of HIV disease.
• What happens when you can’t sleep because of congestion? You dream the dreamless sleep of dogs. You depart this world at 10:58pm for an Alice In Wonderland realm of sleep deprivation. Fucking six chicks in 24 hours doesn’t help, and is unsustainable with a pudgy 54 year old body.
• Think about being the Rayban sunglasses guy. Beckett would love his existence. Selling a product on foot, trudging hour upon hour, in a city that hasn’t seen sun in WEEKS. Or the pirated DVD guy, selling a product in the time of Pirate Bay, where I can download pristine DVD’s for free, while he sells his awful quality dups at a price. Schleping mile after mile, day after day, in futile search of a sale. Beckett would love these guys!

PATTAYA

“You gotta get in to get out.” — CARPET CRAWLERS, GENESIS

CLARK AIRFIELD

What a revelation! $10 buck 10 minute tryke ride vs. the $70 buck/2 hour backbreaker car ride from Manila? Not to mention the five minute in and out no hassle immigration process vs. the utter CHAOS of Manila. I approve!

Burdened with kisser’s cough, a bad back, and twitching lip…fucked up for the first four days by kissing Donna’s cousin… I had a need a fresh coconut shake. I had need of a killer Vietnamese noodle soup. Of Jomtien Beach, or any beach that isn’t Subic polluted with potato chip wrappers or overly commercialized like Cebu. I had need of a killer Indian meal to curry this illness from me.

MR. TOOM

Yeah yeah, I know I could take a bus for less. Don’t want to wait, just want to get there. Willing to pay up. 1000B + tip = $35 bucks, for a two hour car ride? Do you know what that would cost in Chicago? Very reliable car service.

PATTAYA BAY RESORT (CH Link)

Bad start here. The AC unit wasn’t working properly. Complained to the manager. She looked confused but I made it clear I wasn’t about to sweat out my nine-day vacation with substandard AC. I wanted kick ass, cold in five minute air! So what did they do? Brought in an engineer to empty the unit’s coolant and fill it with new liquid. Removed the filters and put in new ones. Not to mention the two extras pillows for my bad back; or the fan they found to help me with my stuff up breathing; or the free breakfast and pool; or that it’s walking distance from Walking Street, or that it’s just $33 per day. Great joint!

TOURIST STUFF

“Keep an eye on me, I shimmer on horizons.” — THROWING MUSES

CORAL ISLAND
Just can’t LIKE this place and its penned-in waters. UTTERLY OVERDEVELOPED swimming area just crushes it for me. I want undiscovered golden sand like beaches in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica. Not vendors of jet ski rentals stalking you as you swim. They literally WADE OUT and hit you up IN THE WATER!

GARY
Friend of a friend I first met two years ago. Monger kindred spirit. Marathoner vs. my 100 meter sprinter. He’s chill. Not a Type A, twitching lip, Jollibee Motherfucker from Chicago. Our approaches to mongering may appear diametrically opposed but really it’s just about budget. I show up $225 a day. Gary is making due on $225 FOR THE WEEK. I picked his brain on costs-- $300 for apartment, $60 for AC, $75 for motorbike and gas, $200 for food. Even on a $1000 budget, leaves money for pussy! Gary doesn’t go near Walking Street, living off a 200B happy ending massage parlor or two a day. Runs late afternoons, in great shape for 59. Lives off the food stalls but goes into a restaurant or two should he desire. Enjoys his morning cup of coffee and International Herald at Starbucks. He lives well, and that bodes well for someone like me who has put JACK SHIT away for his 3rd Act. Gary also showed me a place the locals go up near Big Buddha. Two ultra-skanks, one eight months pregnant selling it for 200B to the locals. Wow, they fuck in those tin shacks? Another world… entirely.

THE TOURIST IN ME

This urge conflicts directly with the monger urge. It’s hard to make those 9am hotel pickups for Elephant trekking when you were boning and drunk until 3am. Nevertheless, I accomplished everything but the GO KART rides this trip.

3 ISLAND TOUR
Caught the funkiest fish of all time. Try to spare him a pointless death but by the time we got his lip de-hooked and tossed him back, he had suffocated. Poor fucker--we’ll all go like that, the 1% too. Enjoyed the snorkeling and found many cool spotted silver fish slithering around the sand bar rocks. First prize for catching the biggest fish is a bottle of Vodka. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. New Zealander asked me if Mitt Romney could actually win. “He can, yes.” “Bit of a twit though, isn’t he?” “You have no fucking idea. Pray Obama wins.” Hong Kong cop tells me he’s actually NOT allowed to club protestors. I tell him in my hometown of Chicago, they did, do, and will club people. And sell city resources like parking meters and the Skyway off to greedy bankers for long term mega-profit. So much for obvious Chinese human rights issues. We talk briefly about the Batman movie theater massacre. He said it’s curious that so much ammunition could be purchased so easily on line. I agree, curious, indeed.

SRIRACHA TIGER ZOO
Awesome! The girls in Angeles are blown away by thr 8-by-11 picture of me and the Bengal tiger. Or me sitting high-fiving an orangutan. Or me sitting on top of the leering crocodile. Best was the pig race, which I caught from both coming and going, their ungodly squeal upon feeding time. I’m off pork, folks…. Tour guide lady moved us with German precision from the tiger show to the crocodile show to the elephant show, time left only for taking pictures with the animals, each stop ala cart to pay for each souvenir and photo. What a money-making machine! Great couple hours though. Worth it for Homeland Security photo ops alone. See, I WAS a tourist, not one of those nasty sex travel fellows who can’t even find a proper fuck at home! Not one of those PERVERTS!

SANCTUARY OF TRUTH
Loved the part where for 150B I got to pose for a photo as the king with two superhot babes worshipping at my side. This is a favorite spot, fabulous woodwork temple well worth the $17 buck entrance. Walk around the grounds and see the craftsmen work on gods and dragons that have fallen into ill repair.

THINGS I DIDN’T DO THE FIRST TIME AROUND
How the hell did I not make Jomtien beach the first time? This beach is NOT Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. It’s not one of the great wonders of the world. But it’s not Subic, either. People swim in this water. It looks, frankly, like the beach in Atlantic City. Murky but swimmable. And what a cool spot Jomtein is away from the beach. Made it up the hill to Big Buddha too. Motorbike guy waited while I took the requisite photos with the huge gold Buddha, the rail shots overlooking the city, clowning with some sub-big Buddhas with big bellies. Like being at Mount Rushmore. It’s a photo op, cotton candy quickly forgotten.

NAM SANG
Fav restaurant. Blackberry shake and orange spicy prawn soup—cured me of Kisser’s Cough!

PATTAYA BITCHES

“Whole lotta Rosie!” — AC/DC

I made assumptions, developed a thesis. This trip invalidated the thesis. There is an exception to every statement I’m about to make. First off: The trip was an unqualified joy. Yet I was sick half the time with dangerous non-sleep, leading past sleep deprivation to near crack up. I came for the Goddesses and found many, completely worthwhile, yet toward the end felt burned out by Walking Street. Likewise, while I rip on Beach Road skanks or the Soi 6 mediocrity, I found terrific gems in both places. Soi 7 had almost nothing of interest to me, very much like the quality you’d find on Perimeter Rd in Angeles, but at 30% more cost. Why would I be interested in these? Then I find the best looking one on the block to lend me two hours of her time, and like the song said—I call that a bargain, the best I ever had!

LAY OF THE LAND

Hundreds of massage joints may entice my pal Gary on his fixed income (and surely will me, in a decade or so) but why would I want to frequent these? For a hand job? Because it’s 200B? No thanks.

Beach Road chicks are skanks. What difference does it make that they cost 500B? I didn’t come 8000 miles and spend thousands to fuck these.
Soi 6 chicks are a notch better, but that’s not terribly impressive, going from 4’s to 5’s. My meat and potatoes are the Raymond Street girls of AC and street chicks of Medellin. You’d think I’d have more affinity toward these. I do not. They are USED, not young and –at least seemingly—fresh like in Angeles. Sure, you can’t beat the price for an afternoon quickie (1300B, all in) but I’m after QUALITY, not quantity here. Pass.

Soi 7, 8/Beer Bar chicks. Same deal. Sure, there are gems, if you have the TIME and KNOWLEDGE to find them. A tourist in and out for 8 days hasn’t that advantage. What I saw was a majority of non-descript chicks (5’s and 6’s), all very friendly I’m sure, great to share a beer with… But my time is limited. Pasadena. Leading us to…

WALKING STREET

Yes, of course it comes down to this. I came for the Goddesses. The chicks you simply don’t find on Fields. Or perhaps you do, if you can beat the Koreans to them in Atlantis and Crystal Palace. I usually stay away from Green Badge girls, but here in Pattaya, it’s the draw for me. That…exoticism.

The usual pigeon English attempted conversation over blaring club music: What your name? Where you stay? How long you here? What you do? The non-communication makes the Angeles conversations with chicks who speak English positively intellectual.

Took me four days to realize what a dipshit I was for ordering “SODA”. They’re clipping me at 125B per (and I’m not waiting around for the 15B change, which means it’s 140 or $4.50 for a fucking club soda) when all the door girls are holding those 60B draft beer signs outside. Dipshit, order the beer! I hate beer but order it and let it sit there. Beats the ENDLESS waitresses all over me, never giving me a second’s peace to look over the lineup.

RUSSIAN JOINT
Gary told me about this place. Russian joint (called Caramel (CH Link), I believe) with real live Russian hotties giving it up. Trudged to the end of WS, up the second floor elevator. Saw a hottie dancing, a couple in a dark booth with some Indians. Was presented a menu of services. 4000B for 30 minutes on site. 2 hours take out is 6000! Pass ladies, and pass on your skanky peroxide sisters stalking Beach Road!

LIVING DOLLS (CH Link) - WHAT’S UP (CH Link) - SAPHYRE (CH Link) — IRON CLUB (CH Link)
More 9’s than in any 20 Fields clubs. Obscene flesh. Bodies cut like you NEVER see in Chicago. These are the Goddesses. These are the reason I’m here. If I’m paying $1700 to get here, do you really think I’m going to cruise Beach Road for skanks? C’mon!

OIL
Very cool little Soi 6 girl. Showered me lovingly, lowered the light to an orange glow, and was moaning within the first minute—real moans. Didn’t hurt when the rubber came off and she stuff my cock back in without---soooo sexy. Met me at my hotel (cost 200 more) but still a huge bargain by Walking Street prices for real GFE. We had sex, hit the pool, were supposed to go bowling but her naked body drew me in for round 2. We’ll bowl next year.

WOW
One of the great names! What a pity it came at the height of my sleep deprivation and Cipro dick. Just couldn’t keep up with her. Still, to have a sex monster nympho who looks like that, with THAT name, what a great chick! Found at Club Bru (CH Link).

TUKTA
Beer bar girl exception. Solid 8. Near goddess doesn’t stop me when I oil her up, cock up, tease her with it without rubber and she shoves it in WITHOUT. Good as it gets.

SOI 7 BLONDE
I fucked the hottest girl on the block. Stone cold 8, maybe even a 9. She was so hot I played stupid board games with her buying her drinks for half an hour. Had her 1 year old kid there and we entertained her. The kid brought the check to me and I tipped her to stay in mom’s good graces. Long blonde hair in my face driving back to the hotel on the motorbike. I actually gasped at seeing her naked body. Peeling her clothes off her as she lay face down on the bed, oh! When I tell you most beer bar girls are 6’s, this is the exception that disproves the statement. You simply need the time to root them out.

SUTHIDA
“Deaf dumb and blind boy lives in a quiet vibration land. Strange as it seems his musical dreams ain’t quite so bad.” — THE WHO, AMAZING JOURNEY
I fucked a deaf girl. My first. Strange experience. It almost didn’t matter. We skipped the usual mundane questions about where you from what you name where you stay etc. It was 100% pantomime, not 95%. It was also the best GFE of the trip and one of the great lays ever. She works at The Office (CH Link) on Soi LK Metro and you can’t really miss her. Just ask for the deaf girl, you can thank me later. Knew it would be great when we French kissed on the back of the motorbike. She was so into the tiger outfit, right in character, growling without uttering a sound! Fuck the showers, ripping clothes off each other’s body. One for the books.

TEAZERS GIRL
Just as the deaf girl was the ultimate GFE, this one was uber-PSE. Found her on Walking Street outside Teazers (CH Link). Shocked she said yes to drinks, and then at the ease of the barfine at 700. For her? Seemed too easy. Likewise impossible the ease of her being photographed. Later I found out she was a former model. She struck poses no other chick did, or could. Then came time for business…oh my god….how can a goddess be a sex monster too? She got down so low into a doggie, spreading her ass from behind with both hands. Put it in muttering something about goddess sex. The sight of this Teazers girl bent over, waiting for the member of a wiggly Chicago boy is from some porno reality. She got off 3 times, a lover of vibrators and dick, and thanked me…goddess thanked me for fucking her. No, c’mon, not in the most demented XXX fantasy would such dialogue be plausible!!!

FREAKY WALKING STREET SIGHTS AND THOUGHTS

• What is it with the card guys talking about sex shows? They are everywhere!
• That poor gymnast girl. Her father putting her through moves NON STOP, hour after hour for tourist tip money.
• The poor lobster promotion girls, everybody blows them off.
• The super hot Italian restaurant waitress standing out in front of the Italian restaurant. I’ll barfine you!
• Hippy beach culture meets monger culture meets nature tourists meets actually white women, a sight not seen in Angeles.
• JAW dropping move by showering chick at Iron Club witnessed by cowboy-hatted dude and myself. She raised herself up, still soapy, by the iron circles flipped herself upside down and did a split that any on the USA gymnastics team would appreciate. Unreal!
• There is no negotiating. Standard price at EVERY joint: 2000B “for the lady”. What IS up for discussion is the barfine. Most joints are in the 600-800 range, which in addition to the 200+ for drinks and 100 motorbike cost = $100 bucks straight up. There are places (WHAT’S UP, LIVING DOLLS, others) that want—can you believe it?—1,500B barfine in addition to the 2000 “lady” tip. So we’re onto the $130 dollar lay now?

GENERAL IMPRESSIONS

AIRPORT (CH Link)
Overrated. Jammed packed with dudes at any hour, yet I rarely see a Goddess, and yes I was in there at 8 on the button when the chicks first start. Nothing there.

LIVING DOLLS
Best joint on Walking Street. Great array of talent, best of the trip--AND I DON’T RECOMMEND IT. Mamasan is asking 1500B barfine and not coming off the price (even at 1am) for the top talent. Oh sure, you can have her B girls for less at 1am. First off, I don’t LIKE fucking at 2am. Second, a jolly fuck you, Mamasan. I came here for the TOP talent, which you are holding hostage. I’m not paying that price, EVER.

SOI BUAKHAO/SOI LK METRO
Revelation of the trip. Didn’t make it here first trip. Great alternative to Walking Street. Found an incredible pair of chicks here, killers for a shade less than walking street prices. Try to find Wow (I shit you not) at Club Bru, and Suthida (see details) of The Office. You can thank me later.

INSOMNIA (CH Link)
True, there’s more deadly pussy per square foot here than almost any club you’ll walk into. Only two problems: 3 of 4 chicks are with dudes. The other 1 in 4 are with friends. At tables, with beers, social context. They show zero, as in ZERO compulsion to talk with a chubby dude from Chicago about renting out their bodies for the night. So what am I supposed to do, wait them out? Hope I score like in a straight disco at home? Sorry, not doing it. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t dance and I don’t fuck at 3am. What does it matter if I get a 3k go-go girl for 1500 if I’ve spent 500 or more on drinks to get to know her? I’m gonna fuck her exhausted at 4am, then crash and wake like a zombie, to save $30 bucks? Nope, pass.

WALKING STREET - MILKED THE SCENE

By the final day I was looking at the goddesses in a new light. I started comparing the experience of AC’s Green badge 8’s to the 9’s from WS. The drop off in looks was negligible. What wasn’t small was that I was getting two hours at most, even 90 minutes for my ST experience here, not the full night of AC. I was getting non-communication vs. communication. I had ZERO urgency to get laid and they seemingly had ZERO urgency to do business with me. Spending $100 nearly every time here meant the Green Badge chicks I refused in Angeles would suddenly be on the menu back home.

FINAL NIGHT FREELANCERS

While I badmouth freelancers it’s ironic I ended my last night with two of them. The first located on WS, super long, dark hair model quality. Wanted 1500. I almost laughed. Ok, let’s go! The last girl was a Beach Road blonde I saw her from the Baht bus. Jumped off the bus and tracked her down at the octopus stand. She wanted 700 and I just shook my head. Sure baby…I think I can afford that. Nice chick with an edge, didn’t mind a bit of a walk to get to my hotel, unlike the WS goddesses. Given time, I’m sure more gems could be discovered here.

CLUSTERFUCK FRIDAY ON WALKING STREET

7PM. Hit Soi 7 and 8. Chicks all look like Perimeter girls, 5’s and 6’s.Two hotties on the whole block, both locked up. Bad timing. I move on down the line. 7:30pm. Crushed from the 3 Island tour. Sun-burned. Nothing, I mean nothing on Beach Road worth a pop. Move on toward… 7:40PM. Walking Street. Make my way toward Rhino Bar (CH Link). Not open yet. 8pm, for once and all, is when it begins on Walking Street. Night has just begun and I’m beat to shit. 8pm. Sit down with a ‘soda’ and let the procession walk by me. Tourists flashing cell phone pictures of the kick boxers performing behind me. The poor 10 year-old gymnast worked to death by her dad for passing change. Surreal. Let me get out of here and get laid. 8:15pm. Look for the I Love New York doorgirl I met last night. Door guy says “Open at 9” ‘Too late,” I say, moving on down the line. 8:20pm. ROXY (CH Link) had a hottie last night. Nope, not open yet. Move on. 8:30PM. What’s Up Bar, utterly loaded with talent. Bar wants 2000B before 12 for the girl, 1000 after. Say what? $100 is now not enough to get laid on Walking Street? Outta here. 8:35pm: LIVING DOLLS. Mamasan tells me regular dancers are 700bf and I say fine, bring me #94, spied the night before. “Oh no, she’s Coyote dancer. They are 1500B, plus 2000 to the lady.” “Yeaaaaaah, I’m not paying that.” She looks past me utterly not caring. Speaking of looking past me, a hottie onstage doesn’t even see that I’m looking her over and might very well offer her $90 for 90 minutes of her life. No, she’s too busy looking over my head at her own image. Fuck you very much. Outta here. 8:50pm. BACCARA bar (CH Link). Same deal. Really nice spinner, zero eye contact. I’m right below her and she doesn’t see me. Honey, that’s fine, there are a thousand chicks in this naked city. Move on. 9pm. IRON CLUB. Find the hottie I had a drink with 3 days ago. What a shock she doesn’t remember me. Cutie with length, I talk barfine and she’s good with it. Then my one lousy interview question about photos. Nope, no good, she no like. Honey, I’m not paying $100 and coming away with no photos. Sorry, no, she says. THERE IS NO URGENCY FROM THESE GODDESSES, NO HUNGER, NO NEED TO MAKE CONCESSIONS. It’s a seller’s market. I leave alone again. 9:10PM. Moon Club (CH Link). Small joint, find a hottie and go for ANOTHER round of drinks. She’s up for coming with me, is good with photos, only thing is, the barfine is 2000 before 12. After that it comes down to a more reasonable 1000. In-credible. Not paying it. Sayonara, doll. 9:20PM. Angelwitch (CH Link). Dancer, hottie, giving me eyes. Good start. I’m thinking we’ve got action, wave her for a drink. She motions for me to wait, finishes her dance, and leaves for the bathroom, NOT returning. The fuck??? Don’t get it. Ciaooooo! 9:30PM. Is it possible I’m walking home UNLAID tonight? 9:40pm. FARENHEIT CLUB (CH Link). Great doorgirl. Have a drink with her. She’s new, hasn’t barfined yet. Mamasan says 1000bf and 2000tip for girl, paid up front. I say I’ll give her the tip on the back end and I want photos. They talk it over and reluctantly agree. Then a discussion on what ‘short time” means. Mamasan says 90 minutes. I tell her I’m not doing it for less than 2 hours. They talk it over and agree. I feel relieved. I’ve just got the bargain of the century paying this girl 100 dollars for two hours of her life. The search, two hours later, is over.

MISCELLANEA

• You know you’re in the Far East when they’re cheering Olympic ping pong in the bars.
• DOUCHEBAG INDIANS. You’re wearing a multi-color rainbow afro stumbling drunk down Walking Street, being generally obnoxious to everyone you encounter—isn’t that HYSTERICALLY FUNNY! Douche bag.
You join me at the front of the boat for the ride home from Coral island. First off, dude, BODY ODOR. In the wind and breeze, I still smell you? Secondly, for 25 minutes you don’t stop TALKING! Not once. By the end of it, I want to punch you out. Douche bag.
• MY MOTORBIKE HABIT. Talk about the 1%: Why would I want to wait for the plebian baht bus and pay 10 baht when I can get door to door service to Jomtein beach for 100B. Or up to Big Buddha. And do you really thinking I’m going to schlep a goddess to a fucking Baht bus when the 2 hour meter is running? C’mon, have some class. Not to mention how cool it is to have her hair blowing in your face, smelling the perfume, all the way back to the hotel. Yes, I’m willing to pay $3 bucks instead of .33 cents for that speed and experience. The older I get the more I just want what I want, and want it NOW. When time is a limited resource, it has a distinct VALUE.
• Local news channel detailing the deaths of two foreigners, found dead in rented rooms. This is news you NEVER see in the States. Two unknown geezers giving up the ghost, found anonymously by the landlady looking for her money, finding the body half naked on the floor. No relatives to claim them. The anonymous death of fixed-income ex-pats in faraway lands. Then the next night…
• “ELDERLY AMERICAN DIES MYSTERIOUSLY. Hearing echoes of my own demise…From the local channel: “Mr. Walter, 76, used to be an English teacher 19 years ago…his driver went to his driver and knocked but there was no answer. He opened the door with a pass key to discover Mr. Walter, deceased, on the bathroom floor. He is believed to have had heart disease though an autopsy is pending.” This resonates. Almost certainly the way your humble narrator will go.
DEATH IN VENICE. Gary mentioned that men come here to die well. Where would you rather end up--A nursing home in Bayonne, NJ? Or on the beach here looking over a Thai goddess, like Achenbach in Death In Venice? I know which one I’ll pick, as that time approaches. Until then…
Goodbye Pattaya! You treated me berry, berry well!

WELCOME HOME, AC!

5 of ‘em in 17 hours. Was back from the airport about 15 minutes when the first one arrived. Two more showed later before crashing. Two more at noon the next day. Waves of them, pursuing me and my wallet. I literally don’t even have to leave the Central Park. They just KEEP COMING.
Never ending rain on Fields….dude selling sunglasses in a land where this is no sun. Walked into Atlantis for the first time looking for a splurge girl. Koreans everywhere-- Skinny calculating ones, fat, yawning ones. Two nights left, still haven’t nibbled. Budget $700 over means I spent $240 pd this trip. 3 today, feel like a monk not fucking, writing this entry! Lost track of how many I’ve booked for tomorrow. 3? 4?

A LAST NIGHT WITH RHIZA

Jesus, Rhiza! Each “date” of our three was memorable. What will I remember about last night? Watching SNAKES ON A PLANE, eating chocolate caramel cake, naked and under covers, with a goddess. Kissing those chocolate lips. She stretches out and bares breasts—THOSE breasts—and pussy. Horny again. We had to stop the movie…twice. Never quite made it to the ending. She’s cool. Got into the Olympic 100 meter dash. This after our trip to SM. Bought her an anklet and earrings. Played video games. She got into the basketball shooting, car racing, and trying to scoop up that damn teddy bear (does anyone EVER actually scoop one with that freakin’ crane?) Short shorts and revealing t-shirt and she’s drawing looks from guys at SM. Back home to watch the movie…we couldn’t lay off for 90 minutes. This PSE girl is morphing into a GFE. Long looking into eyes, the kisses under covers, the slow, unconscious stroking, eating her to orgasm again and again. She says I make her crazy. I want to pack her into my bag. Punch in a couple air holes, toss in some sandwiches, 27 hours later she’s in Chicago with me. No visa, no bullshit.

That’s not going to happen.

What’s going to happen is I’m leaving tomorrow (Manila flooding allowing!) I won’t see Rhiza for a long time—if ever—again. This is the reality, and maybe she knows it too. Which makes parting such sweet sorrow.

POSTSCRIPT

Fencing, badminton, ping pong, judo… where the fuck are the REAL Olympic sports?

Waiting on two more Raymond Street girls as I type this, one last fuckfest before the FORCES OF ULTIMATE REALITY take hold of me. An Estonian discus thrower celebrates his 66 meter toss, putting him on top of the qualifying group. Fantastic pressure throw! Or so the English announcers tell me. All youngsters in the audience, take note!

Brave Ulysses is signing off. Fellow mongers, do your thing with style. Maybe your name will live on when they find you dead, half naked in a Pattaya bathroom. Until then…

Hold that Olympic torch high!

pp

Admin: Posted previously
Photo: Leopard Heels 01
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Photo: Doorgirl A - Lollipop 05
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Pauly,

I love the opening of your report, I know the feeling of having the rug snagged out from underneath you. I am taking a break from mongering too now although it is self inflicted by debt or as I like to call it, financial cancer. My retirement isn't far off and I'd hate to have to find a new "real" job, (I want to live off my pension and an ice cream truck) because I wasn't willing to bite the bullet now.

Your pics look great, I'll be reading through the report shortly...hang in there.

PV-

World class trip report, as usual. You have way more energy than I do, although I also have a few years on you.

Soi LK Metro and Soi Buakhao became favorites of mine during my last Pattaya trip. I got so tired of the wankers and Russian families strolling on WS that I didn't even set foot on WS last time. There's plenty of excellent talent to be found elsewhere.

And I'm glad you enjoyed your time with Rhiza. She is a sexual force majeure. She could be addictive.

Bwana

This is off the charts. It's like Spinal Tap's guitar amp--not a 10, an 11.

Wow have Pattaya prices gone nuts! The coyote girl thing was bad enough when they weren't available. Now they are and are overpriced and every girl worth fucking, it sounds like is in that category. And mamasans dictating what you will pay the girl? At today's airfares and the ordeal of travelling that far, you're probably better off getting an escort in Chicago who speaks English.

This is sad as I saw a huge quality leap in the photos of Pattaya to AC girls, but being faced with prices north of $100 would really take the wind out of the sails. This is the direct OPPOSITE of what Pattaya was all about. That is an endless supply of pretty tee raks for $30 LT until the morning which sometimes turned out to be ridiculously late sleep in times and frequently turned into great GFE holidays...just bring yourself.

Walking Street today - Talk about a clip joint...I fully blame the Russian mob which has taken over Pattaya...and everyone here is upset over Koreans in AC. If everything has to be ST, then Frankfurt's FKKs are probably the best choice.

There are many people out there who feel your pain. Even those who managed to keep their jobs since 2007 are now working harder than they have ever worked before for the same or slightly higher pay. There are a few people who have done very well since 2007 and, yep, those are the "1%". There are more billionaires now then ever before. Meanwhile, the stock market appears to have fully recovered, but we all know the rest of the USA...especially those who are not in the 1% may never recover.

So what is the solution? You could come down to Austin Texas where unemployment is in the 5s, the economy has fully recovered, there is no state taxes and a very large university boasting 55,000 students. I dont know if thats a solution, but just an idea...

I normally don't comment on many reports these days, but felt compelled - well done!

Re the situation, there's always choices. Best wishes!

You have some cuties in that collection for sure.

I can empathize with the situation you laid out in your opening segment. About ten years ago, I had a 2 year mongering hiatus forced on me as well, due to adverse economic conditions and the fallout that personally hit me.

Believe me, those were some tough times to get through. They made me appreciate my trips even more after I was able to climb back into the saddle.

Where did you find the blonde mixed Thai girl...in towel in first photo...very hot. Love the Filipina with glasses also.

(Message edited by Blazers on August 07, 2012)

Great photos....well done!!! I just do not know you you managed to stay in AC for 4 weeks.....one week max, is about all I can handle....

Great pics, and great read! I was forgetting how hot Thai ladies can be. . . . haven't been there since last summer.

epic finish to an epic trip. road to manila was closed until 7 this morning. problem was my flight left at 6:20am. so i'm stuck here. cathay pacific tells me they'll have get word from the "los angeles office" if I'll be allowed to upgrade to a full economy ticket, pay the hundreds difference and leave in two days. if they say no i'll have to wait for an equivalent fare to open up, which won't be FOR A WEEK OR MORE. I could, of course, burn the $2000 dollar ticket and buy a new $2000 ticket.

This place is a fucking disaster area. Endless, endless tropic rain.

Yup, the downpours are making headlines on my google news widget.

I used to think that people were uptight for not wanting to travel outside of the US. Well I still think that, but crazy shit like storms and planes skidding off the runway in Phuket cancelling every flight for 24 hours after, makes me understand the reluctance to leave a perceived terra firma.

I'm glad I ignored all those variables for so long, but then again who needs to go broke on plane tickets so they can deal with that crap? It's not like there's a substantial pay off awaiting you on walking street anymore. It may even be cheaper and entail less travel hazards to have sex in the champagne room when you account for airfare and inflation abroad.

That's my mood as of late.

Much applause from me, my brother in mongering. I'd say "CLAP, CLAP", but don't want to pile on the STD HIT ME sign for the PI.

CH folks, Pauly is indeed one DEDICATED PERVERT, and that is a claim I bestow on bended knee, eyes cast to the ground. The man is on a MISSION and extremely well prepared, with outfits, watermelon props, patriotic symbols, silly string, heavy machinery... Only thing missing is Sancho's "restraints"?

Oh, and a cellphone? Dude, the sneakout % surely goes up with a better ability to follow up on the arrangements than calls from landlines and facebook messages! I'm FLOORED you can get girls to come over at ALL without a cell. You also get the fishing requests from THEM which range from mildly annoying to OMG, HELL YES, GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!

I love your writing style and mongering style. We won't compete foe girls because first on my checklist is never extra-SMALL!

He's right about the rain -- it's rained constantly for the last 2+ weeks, and I'm currently stuck in AC because of flooding in/around Manila. There are worse places one could be stranded!

That is the most incredible collection of photos ever, there ain't a one I wouldn't gladly pay just to hear her piss in a tin can. And I can't even say that about my own photos.

who is the girl with the two fruit drinks , she is the best ever!!!!!!!!

My ADHD forced me to skim most of your report. However, I'd love to hear the story behind the two girls with the signs "I will give you nice blow Job [capital J, because I guess it's just that good…] and Welcome Big Dick" I would love to have them waiting for me the next time I get off the plane in LaGuardia or LAX.

Jigettis , "… pay just to hear her piss in a tin can" I worry about you. :-)

Smuckin...girl with the fruit drinks is Luna, available sometimes on Raymond St.

BDOM...those were walking street doorgirls. gave 'em a hundred each for the photos. i loved the one girl with the WELCOME BIG DICK sign, then she turned it around to say WELCOME SMALL DICK.

4am at the Manila airport. OUTTA here in two hours, happy to leave this rainy place.

PV: Kudos as usual. Have always been a fan of your trip reports. I have been trying to duplicate your success in Medellin, AC, etc. That being said, I am trying to do some pre-trip research on Pattaya - Can you point out your photos of the deaf girl and the other gems you found on Soi Metro & Beach Rd? If you have any numbers/intel that you don't mind sharing on your Pattaya ladies please PM me. I thank you in advance.

Blonde Thai mixed girl with braces you found on Soi 7?

Thats the hottest Thai hooker I have ever seen photographed. Cant tell if there is baby damage with the mesh one piece but from the photo, she will get snatched up quick from the top gogo bars. She is definitely half Thai which is rare in Pattaya.

EPIC post and amazing pics!!!! Thanks for posting. This post will be part of the future Hall Of Fame Posts for sure.

Totfotog, PM me and I''ll get you some details.

Thanks for the nice words Daytimer.

Blazers, I've been trying to remember the exact name of the bar she worked in. It was almost down at the very end, on the left, just in front of the Silver somethingoranother. Didn't take notes on the bar but yeah, she was staggering. Gasped when i saw her body.

Amazing report Pauly,
The Rhiza portion brought me some memories...
Cheers.
Zen

If you were in PI for more than a week you should have collected a stable of 1,000 peso girlfriends.

Enjoyed your reporting style, wow i used to monger AC & pattaya for a long time but have turned into a BKK & manila snob, i feel there are better looking girls in those sister cities with less work to be done... yea i know i pay more but who cares cant take money to my grave.

But now its time to visit lil sister cities... thanks for your inspired report.

GREAT REPORT, and pics are really hot. looks like this trip was a grand slam !! ps i hope you have good luck in the future with the job, i'd hate it if you weren't going to have these wild times and reports in the future. thank's again

Paulyvegas has perhaps the most impeccable taste in finding some of the finer ladies in Asia. I always find several of my dearest most beloved girlfriends in his reports and this one is no exception. I notice few of the finest AC has to offer in this one too. Outstanding work.

There is one point where perhaps I can provide closure for Porker and Smukin though.

Smuckin: "who is the girl with the two fruit drinks , she is the best ever!!!!!!!!"

Paulyvegas: "Smuckin...girl with the fruit drinks is Luna, available sometimes on Raymond St."

Porker: "CH folks, Pauly is indeed one DEDICATED PERVERT, and that is a claim I bestow on bended knee, eyes cast to the ground. The man is on a MISSION and extremely well prepared, with outfits, watermelon props, patriotic symbols, silly string, heavy machinery... Only thing missing is Sancho's "restraints"?"

Here's Luna from a while back
Photo: Luna Restraints

Holy cow! Wonder how many minutes that photo will last? Happy to have sent it and what else can you say but LUUUUUUNA!

Tell me you didn't do that with my sweet sweet Bea....

Meant to say happy to have SEEN it,. of course...

Some day Sancho, you and I will set upon Raymond Street together. The girls will squeal, then flee...and then.....

I didn't do 'that' to sweet sweet Bea, but all of the pictures I do have of her are way way way way to far over the line to post here. She is a very naughty lady. I met her a few days aster she first arrived in AC. I don't know what experience she had before but she was way over the top even as a new girl. Truly profound, that one.

I have to ask about another one of the ladies (I cant remember her name) as part of my ongoing scientific studies of the toilet habits of Filipinas. She is the great anomaly in the peeing sitting on the rim with the lid up, or squatting to pee statistics. Since on two separate occasions now I have noted she sits on the rim with the seat up and pees before the session, but AFTER the session she squats on the rim and pees. I am working on a hypothesis that she may be doing it that way to expel a creampie.

Did you perchance note this anomalous behavior?
Photo: A Rim Sitting
Photo: A Squatting

Photo: B Rim Sitting
Photo: B Squatting

Jesus dude, you go in there when they piss?

Nope, that ain't me. Can't vouch for her....

How did you get a social disease and I didn't when we fuck the EXACT same chicks.

Bea, what a monster, you're right. And that sweet face! I gave her a couple orgasms and she insisted on using my $90 buck Hitachi for two more before she left. I was SHOWERING when she declared: "I came again."

Was her "cousin" (according to them) still there too? They make a great team

Photos: Great Team 01 02

Last trip?!? WTF?!? Because of finances?!?

I will buy more lottery tickets and take you under my wing when I win! These brown beauties deserve to be fucked more and I would be honored to have you as my Yoda!

Kafinated, I will carry your suitcases and be your Yes Man, my friend. If you're picking up the tab I will get you very well laid and say VERY nice things about you!

Thanks, Paulyvegas for the TR. The beginning really resonates, as cash flow for me has been shit since the housing bubble popped. Down from 3-4 trips a year to 1, longer trip.

I love how your trip picks up and you have a great time.

Bigpoppa - You are so right. Prices took the piss out of me last year. Girl I'd taken for a week on a previous trip gave me the "but other man gave me 3,000 baht" deal, after the first night.

Although I'm not happy about the price increases, I realize I could have had a better time if I didn't worry so much about the money last trip. I find I can economize myself right into a shitty trip, so this time I'll relax and spend what it takes to have a good time and not worry so much.

Wheels up in 2 hours for me. Thailand, then the Philippines.

as a long time monger in the phils and LOS, that was some trip report my friend, i was almost there myself
you're a true aficionado, and a world class monger

Hey Travlr...thanks bro. Just cruising this board because the Oscars are so fucking boring....haven't been here in months.

Going back in June. Somehow, BARELY, was able to swing it this year. Time's is tough. We'll keeping rocking until the whole shithouse comes down, or until Jennifer "skinny" Hudson stops that reverb
squeal!