BJ PLACES:

The only one that I ever check out is Lólitas (CH Link) off Soi 8. I don't care for its current roster --which changes completely from one trip to the next. (After all, who wants make a career out of that? "Dear Uncle Somchai, How are you these days? I am working at a BJ place in Bangkok.")


MASSAGE:

Soapy massage, where you pick a numbered girl out of an aquarium, isn't my thing. The best I've seen of those were in Bangkok, though. (As opposed to other parts of Thailand, or Macao.)

I prefer plain old foot- or body-massage on the first day so that I can snooze during the massage without worrying about sleeping through lunch and dinner, as I would in my hotel room. I scoured the area to find a cute masseuse but was having no luck.

There's a place on the north side of Sukhumvit road between Soi 5 and Soi 7 that I had already been to, but on the second pass I spotted a familiar face from a prior trip. Oh, hello! As we went inside my attention was captured by a tiny brown Esarn girl, very cute, who was on her way out. Wow! I inquired about having two girls for the massage. My masseuse came back in the room with the cutie and I then inquired about doing it at my hotel instead. Off we went. On the walk to the hotel, Cutie told me that she was twenty years old. She was not quite up to my shoulders, about eighty pounds.

Back in my room, the massage was just OK. I had doubts about their oil. The masseuse who knew me gently massaged my nipples to arouse me, but it didn't feel right with this oil. (I always bring my own from the states, but don't have as much this time so I decided to give theirs a try.) When it was time to roll over face-up, I inquired about the girls getting naked. We settled on a thousand each. Cutie had no tattoos and a nice little black bush. She had had a kid but, honestly, you could hardly tell. Beautiful breasts. Nice little package. I became interested in full service. The other masseuse graciously offered to go, leaving Cutie alone with me.

My most recent medical certificate was two years old! (She carded me.) Having slept only about three hours of the last forty, my negotiation skills were near zero and BBFS cost me 5000 baht --ouch. She seemed as concerned about pregnancy as HIV so I explained that it's impossible with me. Sadly, she told me that she had heard that one before.

But it was fun. She propped her little brown calves up on my shoulders, giving me a full view of everything nice. But that position shortens a girl's vaginal canal and sometimes you can't get it all in. Once we got going I asked her if it hurt and she responded "Nit noy" ("A little"). But it was her idea. We kissed and then I couldn't hold back any longer, so we finished in that position. Mmm. Good one. What a mess.

The next day I got a new medical certificate at nearby Bumrungrad Hospital, which set me back a whopping 1855 baht! (Bumrungrad caters to farang and charges appropriately.) Later I showed the certificate to Cutie to ease her mind about that.

I always end up blowing a lot of dough the first day.


CLUBS:

The Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP) is at a relative low, about the poorest conditions I've seen. There are some "definitely do-able" girls, but you might have to be patient and lower your standards a bit. Drinks (your drinks) are over 100 baht.

Once upon a time, Rainbow 2 (CH Link) was the gold mine as far as I was concerned. But I haven't taken a date out of there for at least five years. There's now an Angel Witch 2 (CH Link) on the ground level between Rainbow 2 and Play Skool (CH Link). For the record, it has the oldest dancers that I've seen on this trip. The Mandarin (CH Link) also currently has only old ones. The Mercury Club (CH Link) has had among the youngest dancers for the last three years, but no more; they're all at least in their twenties now, with most being in their high twenties and older.

I never cared much for Soi Cowboy, but the best club I've seen so far on this trip is near there. Walk east on Soi Cowboy (away from the Asok BTS station) until it ends, make a right on Soi 23, walk about 30 yards, and the Crazy House (CH Link) is on the right. Plenty of eights and nines to go around. A surprising number of them have NO tattoos (none!) and unshaven pussies! And have never had kids. Just my type! I thought I was dreaming.

The head mamasan, a big dyke, came over from the Mercury Club at NEP. That might have something to do with the better selection. Not that there are any teenage girls here, but almost all are in their early twenties.

This place is no secret. Drinks are only 50 baht, lady-drinks are 150 (of which the lady gets 60). On weeknights it's usually packed between 9 and 10 p.m. Last night (Sunday) it was about half-empty again by 10:30 p.m. A couple of girls hit on me as I waited for someone. Apparently they have good taste in men.

In the name of reconnaissance I checked out the Soi Cowboy clubs as long as I was there, but didn't see anything I liked.

Remember to bring your earplugs because these places are LOUD, especially Rainbow 1 (CH Link) at NEP. I'm surprised that some of those girls don't have brains coming out of their ears. It's not even music anyway! Who in the hell wants to listen to that "technoid" noise?


SPECIAL SOAP OPERA ADDENDUM TO THE CLUBS SECTION:

After the late arrival and checking in to the Nana around 1 a.m., I immediately hit the clubs before closing. I figured if I found somebody we would shower back at the room anyway, so why bother to get cleaned up first? On one stage I spotted Tuey, a former regular. She is now about twenty. I walked up and propositioned her. She indicated that she was not interested.

O, woe is me! I can't understand how this could happen! Just because I hadn't been with her since she had had her baby almost two years ago, and just because I looked like shit after the long trip, and just because I used to gape Tuey's rival half-sister whenever Tuey wasn't looking, and just because I had a menage-a-trois with the sister and a mutual friend of hers and Tuey's...

Woe is me.

nice so far!

Crazy House is the currently the goldmine of the Sukhumvit area as far as I'm concerned. I neglected to mention what sets it apart (besides the eights and nines). It's something one doesn't see much at NEP any more: the girls dance buck naked on stage, wearing only high heels and jewelry. And they're nice. Saturday night I saw as many as two dozen on stage at once. More pussy than you can shake a stick at.

(They alternate between nude and wearing an ultra-mini-skirt without panties so that you can see their pussies, plus a top. I prefer to see them in the buff; the outfit strikes me as lewd rather than erotic.)

Look for the big dyke mamasan. She is forty-ish and heavyset with black hair. She looks like a cross between Andre the Giant and Tim Curry's character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. She is an extreme manipulator who will gouge you for all the bribes and tips that she can whenever possible.

You probably won't like her, but she's useful because she can get the girl that you want for you. (I knew her from the Mercury Club at NEP.)

Bar fine = 700 baht.

At least that's what the big dyke charged me. And she kept the change from my thousand, because I let her. This mamasan is your friend. Her greed knows no bounds, and you can put it to work for you. If you spot some girl that you've just got to have but who appears to be busy, you can tell this mamasan something like, "Hey, if I sleep with #80 tonight I'll give you 500 baht." And the mamasan will make it happen.

Watch her in action. She'll go up to the girl and interrupt whatever's going on, saying something to the girl. Next thing you know you're smugly riding home in a taxi with one hand resting on one of her smooth brown thighs.

(#80, by the way, is pretty cute with a nice little body and a firm, copper-colored ass. Delectable. And she ain't the only one.)

Man, I'm so worn out from sex that I can't walk straight. Ducking out to go to Pattaya for a few days. (I know --that makes a lot of sense. Like going to Vegas to take a break from gambling.)

I agree , one think that is constant in the world.
"Money talks, bullshit walks"

have fun in pattaya

Old Buzzards and Cute Chicks

I am seeing all kinds of white-haired older guys (70+) walking around the Sukhumvit area with genuine cuties that I would screw!

Soi Cowboy

What I don't like about Soi Cowboy is that some of the clubs, like the Rio (CH Link), are strictly tourist-fleecing operations where you buy high-priced lady drinks for the cock-teasers who lured you in there. But you can't bar-fine the girls and take them home. In the Rio the girls don't wear numbers; maybe that's the give-away that it's a rip-off.

The Crazy House, only steps away, is the complete opposite. It is a high-volume whorehouse, a wholesale operation. I don't know whether it can last because those girls are getting the shit fucked out of them. Last night I went there again and saw #80 outside catching a taxi with a customer that was around 70 years old.

Linda is the name of that greedy harridan mamasan, by the way.

Dr. BJ's (CH Link)

This is another BJ place with many more girls than Lólita's. It's on both sides of Soi 7/1 (two buildings) and sometimes there are about two dozen girls sitting out front.

I've been checking that place and Lólita's, but still couldn't bring myself to partake at either venue. I'd wait a while before coming over if that's your thing.

Costar, Dr BJs (BJ) is on the right on 7/1. Dr Nurus (a nuru FS massage) is on the left. Don't just look from the street, walk in, sit on the right and the girls will line up. There's plenty hiding inside.

Around 4-6PM is the best time in terms of lineups albeit people go there for dependable service and not lookers per se.

For those interested in the best BJ in town, it's on soi 14 at Som's (CH Link). Not many girls to choose from, but you won't be disappointed in the BBBJ.

Soi Cowboy has been going downhill for many years. The primary problem is that half the bars there are owned by "The Arab." It has long been rumored that they are fronts for money laundering. It's his bars that are responsible for the coyote girls, who as you said, are not bar-fineable.

The only two bars that I found worth checking out were Crazy House and Suzie Wongs (CH Link) (once in a while a cutie would show up). By far and away the best bar there is Crazy House. Unfortunately Shark was terrible, which is unusual given its previous track record.

Given how bad things are on Cowboy, practically all of my "gogo" time was spent at Nana. Fortunately the teen massage scene is very strong, so one has all sorts of good day time distractions.

And DM is correct, Dr. Nurus is on left, Dr. BJs is on the right on soi 7/1.

It's all Dr. BJ's now, at least according to their signage. The place on the left is now "Dr. BJ's Nuru":




...Which is neither here nor there, just FYI.

I'll take Don Marco's word about what's inside. Those places give me the creeps because they're so close to the Eden Club (ick). I feel like the guy in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, standing in the doorway of the house wondering whether to go in...

Yes, Dr BJs is the brand, which is independent of the service provided. Salon is the BJ shop, Nurus is a nuru FS massage shop.

Hi Costar, Thanks for the great report. I arrive in Bangkok this Friday the 20th and will be staying at the Landmark for 3 nights before going to Pattaya on Monday for 4 nights. Did you have to pay a joiner fee at the Landmark. Any information would be greatly appreciated as its my first trip. If anyone else is around either in Bangkok or Pattaya and fancy a beer please let me know. Cheers

I've never paid a "joiner fee" (a surcharge for taking a girl to my room) in Thailand, but at the Landmark they want the girl's ID. After greasing the guards to not take IDs a couple of times (because some girls don't have them), I found...

A Club Hombre Exclusive

Correction: I darn sure did pay a "joiner fee" --at the Siam Bayview Hotel in Pattaya! They charge you 1000 baht, the gougers!

They're purporting to be some kind of respectable, family-oriented place in the center of Pattaya. Yeah, right.